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The Perfect Drug
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Year, After Colony 196, With the Barton Foundation Incident Over, and The Khushrenada child under the watchful eye of the Peacecraft facility, There was no need for the machines of Death know as the Gundams. In a short period of time all five were obliterated. We find the ex Wing Zero pilot nonchalantly a fitted with a Pretenders jacket, as the other four soon did with Lt. Noin's insistent persuadtion. All five soldiers have only one task set before them, to pick up the pieces of their lives, thrown off course at such a young age. Soon one by one the pilots left to go whenever they once associated with the word home. There were only two pilots remaining at the Pretenders base on earth; Heero Yui and Duo Maxwell.
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In the dead of night, Heero repositioned himself in half hearted efforts to get more comfortable in the hard seat. The only light source from within the vacant cafeteria was the dull glow of his computer screen. He sat there aimlessly staring at the screen, though the Gundams where destroyed weeks ago, he still hadn't deleted his copy of the blue prints, for some odd reason they held sentimental value to Heero. He had killed countless lives with that machine. It had altered the path of his life completely, and now because of that machine at the age of sixteen Heero Yui's life had reached a dead end. In this so called time of peace soldiers were not needed, in fact somewhat despised for their previous actions. Heero released along drawn out sigh, and closed his eyes only for a brief moment by the time his eyelids parted the records of Wing Zero were gone, as if they never existed in the first place. This brought a strange burden on Heero's shoulders, an abyss of nothing recoiled in him and a wave of insignificant feelings washed over every crevasse of his body.
"I am nothing now. I have no purpose," Heero whispered barely audible.
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my blood wants to say hello to you
my feelings want to get inside of you
my soul is so afraid to realize
every little word is a lack of me
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The shadows parted as a flood of light was released by the opening of one of the many doors that led into wide open space of the cafeteria. As the door swung closed behind Duo Maxwell, the Shadows closed back in to retake it's grasp on various objects within the room. Duo noticed Heero sitting with his back turned to him, numerous tables away. Duo slightly shook his head from side to side, then behind to close the gap between himself and the boy lost in the Darkness. Heero did not recognize the footsteps from behind, nor did he have the will to turn around and greet his late night visitor. Duo was very perplexed by Heero's recent actions, and finding him this late at night made his emotions stir. Causally Duo walked in front of the table where Heero sat, Their eyes met as Duo pulled up a chair, and with a locked gaze Duo slowly sat down. Not once during the period of silence, did one ever look away, nor did they want to. Duo reached out before him a few inches before Heero's chest, and with a fluid motion of his hand closed Heero's laptop.
"Heero... What is Wrong?" The question startled Heero, Duo's composure had changed completely from when he saw him earlier that day. Without even Heero's detection, Duo's expression grew serious. Heero tilted his head as he leaned back into his chair while staring back at Maxwell. Duo allowed a minute or two to slip by before pressing on ward. "Heero, I want to know." His expression altered again, to one Heero never had the pleasure of seeing before, his features were soften by concern while his eyes were not tainted by this, instead held a certain sorrow, with a steady gaze.
" ... Nothing, Nothing is wrong." Heero absently replied, he was beginning to feel uneasy in the presence of Duo, but had no clue why he felt this way.
"Bullshit, I can read you like a book Heero Yui, " He paused to gather his thoughts, deciding whether or not to continue, " I've been watching you, I've decoded you." Duo Grinned taking pride in his accomplishment. " You aren't a mystery to me anymore, I can even probably tell you what's wrong..." Duo leered at Heero then made a brash gesture with is hand, "The rate of your breathing, the way yours lips part ... Just by the slight change in your body movements... I can tell... " Duo words lingered in the air. Heero tensed, and finally averted his eyes down to the table to before him. " Don't act like that." Duo practically ordered.
" ... What are you talking about?" Heero said with a weakening tone of voice.
"Stop acting so surprised." Duo spat, almost causing Heero to flinch. Heero's mouth grew dry, and he began to perspire. Heero had no reply, he knew he couldn't leave, or deny it, he was trapped in a confrontation he wanted to avoid. " I don't believe this, do you have any idea what you are doing to me?!" Duo said with a groan as he ran his slender fingers through his bangs, which caused the locks to tumble back in place after his hands absence. Heero looked up and stole a brief glance of Duo. Abruptly, Duo balled his fist and slammed in onto the polished wood mass. "Fuck!" yelled Duo with a strained voice, who's voice carried through the hollow cafeteria. Heero watched on in silenced, completely at loss. Duo sat there idly with his head down, his chest rhythmically rising and falling, his eyes masked by the rich brown strains of hair. Finally after brief pause, Duo's defeated tone escaped from his lips, " There's nothing more I can sa-" Duo was hushed as Heero's hand traveled acrossed the table between them and parted Duo's bangs revealing the pain stricken eyes. Duo glanced at Heero as his breathing rate increase, he boldly grasped on to Heero's hand and sheepishly leaned in to brush his moistened lips upon Heero's knuckles. In a rushed whisper Duo spoke to Heero,
" See what you do to me... " Using Both of his hands Duo guided Heero's hand along his tear stained cheek, Heero's eyes widen as the luke warm droplets of water came in contact with his skin. Heero went rigid, Duo immediately felt this and let Heero's hand slip through his slender fingers. The air was thick, Duo was stricken with shame, he himself couldn't bare with his feelings of desire for another boy. Duo believed he had made a horrible mistake, for he had no right to suddenly confess to Heero, god knows he'd suffered enough, he didn't need any more problems. Duo couldn't bare to look at Heero, while Heero for some odd reason couldn't manage to take his eyes off the former Deathscythe Pilot. Heero emotions were in chaos, his heart was pounding in his chest, as he allowed the words to tumble from his lips.
" Duo... I.." Heero's tone was softer then before, numerous thoughts swirled in Heero's head, Could Duo fill the endless abyss in Heero's soul, why hadn't he had been aware of his fondness of Duo before, and more importantly, Could Duo Complete Heero? Before Heero even realized what he was doing he was on his feet and was walking solemnly around the table. Duo immediately stood, He instantly noticed Heero's hands were shaking, the guilt returned, the wretched guilt. Duo timidly reached out and took Heero's hands in his, he too now was trembling, then simultaneously, they both slowly raised their heads and returned each other's lonely gaze. Heero parted lips to speak, but was soon hushed as the door creaked and light creeped in and splashed upon their skin. As the silhouette of the janitor emerged from the hallway, A guilty expression crawled upon both Heero and Duo's face, and Heero abruptly broke away from Duo under the janitor's suspicious stare. That night, a lot of questions went unanswered, Duo's hope for love melted as he watched Heero walk away. By morning Duo Maxwell wasn't found in his room, nor anyway on the base. For he could never face Heero, after the rejection had been so evident.
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you make me hard, when i'm all soft inside
i see the truth, when i'm all stupid eyed
the arrow goes straight through my heart
without you everything just falls apart
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The music was so loud in the club, it shook the few blackened in windows and made the floor and walls vibrate. The twenty year old Duo Maxwell, who reeked of alcohol, staggered through the mass of dancing children in black to meet his so called friends he accumulated during his downward spiral into their world of drugs. Now Maxwell stood before the two males and one female, wearing his dirty long sleeved black shirt along with oversized torn black pants and finally finishing his attire with his untied black boots which were muddy and scuffed. Duo had no need hide his blood shot eyes before them, so he sloppily took of his cheap sunglasses, which so happened he stole, and hung them on the collar of his hole ridden shirt. Duo stood there quietly before them amidst the chaos, awaiting to be noticed. In till finally the woman, spoke out slurring her words.
"Maxwell! We thought you were Dead!"
"He Does looks like he just crawled out of the morgue..." The shorter male sheepishly offered. Duo narrowed his eyes at him and violently grabbed him dirty fabric of shirt collar.
" Fuck off, asshole." Duo spat as he released his grip and shoved him back.
"Hey, hey, is that anyway to treat a friend, Maxwell?" the female chimed in. The taller man leered at Duo, then displayed a sly smirk upon his thin lips, while saying,
" Our Maxwell, needs a fix why else does he come to visit us?" The smaller man and female looked at one another then focused on Duo, as best as they could. The female reached down into her imitation leather purse and retrieved a wrinkled paper sack and held it childishly out before of Duo,
" I'll let you have it ... if you fuck me.. " she said with a crooked smile as she took step closer tall braided man. Duo's face contorted into sneer as he looked up and down the loose woman. She stumbled forward, letting her hands slide over her cleavage, then reach took a hold of the end of Duo's braid and began to toy with it between her fingers. Duo raised an eyebrow as he stood there un amused, but he set his broken pride aside as he leaned in close to her. The woman closed her eyes and welcomed Duo's chapped lips, Duo began inching his parted mouth towards her face, in till his face was caressed with her sultry breath. His eyelids lowered, as his mischievous played on his lips, abruptly pulled back and ripped the brown paper sack out of her hands, causing her to flinch. And as he disappeared into the sea of dancing children in black, Duo maliciously yelled back,
" Only in Your Dreams, My Precious Whore."
Duo emerged through the mass of people the blaring music wasn't helping the effects of his hangover, left over from the events of the night before. Duo drowsily paused, his eyes scanned his jagged surroundings. His eyes locked on to the bathroom door, which in this club had only one purpose, the actual bathroom rituals were done in the back alley. As Duo approached the line for the unisex room protectively clutching the paper bag in his hand as faint smile briefly crept upon his lips. He leaned against the wall and exhaled loudly, so loud that the young couple ahead of him glanced back at him, raised his face to them and gave his best cheesy smile with a sarcastic twitch. The wait should only be a few minutes but Duo so desperately wanted to break away from reality right then and there. As Duo endured the wait, his mind drifted, to territories potent with regret and misery. Duo looked down to his shaking hand, and immediately thought of Heero. He closed his eyes and crossed his arms pressing his hands close to his chest in order to control the tremors. Which caused the contents of the bag to rub against the material that covered his pale flesh. Time slowly flowed over Duo, his breathing became rhythmic has he tried to block his thoughts while the music that he knew took sadistic pleasure in causing his head to ache. His trance was soon rudely interrupted, his eyes shot open as the couple exited the bathroom and started to beckon at him, signaling that it was his turn, Duo nodded once at them, stood upright, then stumbled into the darken bathroom.
Duo Maxwell, flipped the switch that controlled the flickering light over head, then slammed and locked the door behind him. The bathroom was a disgrace, cracked mirror, over a clogged sink that was filled with a brownish tone of water. The tiled floor was disgusting, trails of blood and vomit made their presence known. Duo didn't even dare sneak a glimpse of the toilet. He stood before the mirror caked with dirt above the wretched sink and opened the brown sack with affection that a mother would give to her newborn child. He pulled out a small ziplock bag within holding the white dust that he adored so, and balanced it on the edge of sink. Considering his surroundings, Duo placed the end on the syringe in his mouth, not wanting to taint it's tip anymore than he had to. Duo slide the elastic band over his wrist as if it was an oversized bracelet. He placed the steel spoon on the empty paper bag which was on the yellowish surface of the sink close to the faucet after he turned the rusted handle and allowed a few droplets of water gather on to the spoon. He delicately opened and poured the contents of the ziplock pouch in with the water. As he picked up the spoon and retrieved his lighter from his pocket he tried desperately to look at himself in the shattered mirror. The steps were so familiar to Duo, with ease he ignited the lighter and placed it's steady flamed under spoon to heat it's contents. After a half of minute of heating, Duo then placed the heated steel upon the bag again, his mind fully focused on the unholy task he wanted to accomplish. He carefully pulled the plunger part of the syringe off, and used it to stir his solution, then carelessly wiped it on his shirt before he replaced he. As the bathroom walls shook to the beat of a song he recognized, Duo Maxwell rolled the elastic band past his elbow, pushing back the black material of his long sleeved shirt revealing Duo's grotesque arm, with various unhealed puncture wounds. He cringed as the band rolled unmercifully over his wounds, in till it's fit was so snug it caused his skin to indent from the band's grasp on his arm. The music polluted the air, Duo whispered the lyrics full of the raw emotion, he could relate with so well he almost felt that song was written about him, as he placed the syringe's tip into the spoon's finished content. He pulled the plunge of the syringe back and watched his beloved deadly fluid fill the belly of his syringe. He flicked the syringe with his finger, then teased it by barely applying pressure on the plunger's edge, allowing a drop or two to ooze from the metallic tip.
A sudden bang on the door caused Duo to flinch. While shifting his stare from the syringe to the door, Duo screamed out to the inpatient jerk, "Hold on a fucking Minute!" He couldn't make out the filtered words from the other, nor did he really care what the fool had to say. With a deep breath, Duo hovered the tip of the syringe over his arm, looking for an untainted place on a protruding vain. With much ease he penetrated the needle tip into the skin and entered a vain. Duo Maxwell tilted his head back and stared aimlessly at his broken reflection with partly closed eyes as he pushed the viperous heroin into his welcoming blood. By the time he pulled the syringe's tip out, his shaking already lessened it's intensity. A small trail of blood rolled out of the new flesh wound, Duo grinned then raised his arm to his face, making him able to loving lap up the warm blood off his skin, then lowered his long sleeve back over his arm. He spun around with grin plastered on his mouth, and tossed the syringe into the horrid toilet that stench emanated from, as Duo saw the syringe fall into the rancid water, he exclaimed. " Score!" followed by insane laughter. Duo turned to face himself in the mirror again, his smile faded from his lips, he then unhooked the sunglasses off from his shirt collar, then quickly put them on as he unlocked the door, and stepped out not bothering to turn off the light, but Duo couldn't resist giving a sly mocking grin to the bastard who interrupted him, along with a drawn out sarcastic "It's all yours." Before beginning make his journey a cross, the pit that could easily have been mistaken for a mass orgy, to rejoin with the closest thing Duo had to friends.
Duo with his senses dulled, pushed his way through the crowd, as the hellish substance coated his veins and with ill intent seduced his whole being. Bodies crashed into him from every direction on the dance floor. And with a Sadistic pleasure he shoved them back, repelling back into the direction they ventured. One small unlucky boy, collided into Duo's chest, and when he took notice that Duo remained still in sea of moving, altering masses, he half heatedly uttered an apology. "Sorry? Oh You Will Be Sorry..." Duo said in a dangerous tone, as he balled his fist, angled his elbow, and projected clenched fist into lower abdomen of the youth. The severe blow threw the boy unmercifully on the unsanitary floor. Duo hovered over boy in the now parted crowd, glaring down at him with clouded unstable eyes, that reflected the various lights that swirled in the air. The boy looked up at the shadowed figured fear stricken, before positioning his arms before face as a pathetic attempt for protection. Duo brought back his foot cased in leather caked with dirt, and wildly thrust the toe of his boot into the youth's stomach. The boy's face twisted into expression of sere pain, as a dry raspy shriek repelled from the boy's mouth. A group of five, noticed this violent display, as the youth on his hands and knees interrupted their feet while he making a desperate attempt to crawl away. They stared a Duo repulsed. Duo return their intense gaze, and with a twinkle in eyes as he voluntarily twitched then pressed his fingers to lips, and extended his palm and blew them a kiss.
Duo engrossed with a new sense of empowerment, a sense of purpose, continued to drift through the crowd. Eyewitness of this recent display, now cowered down, and parted for Maxwell's path. Duo lapped up this sensation surging through his body. He stopped in mid stride, with his people observant of his every move. He slowly at first then quickened the pace of the jerking of his head back and forth to the metallic violent beat of the music. And as the song climaxed his thrashes grew more intense, he threw he back his head one final time, and held it in place, as he screamed with raw emotion unfiltered from the travel from his soul to his parched lips. " God Is Dead! If There is a Hell! I'll See You There!" His audience grew weary and drew further away from him, as if he was an untamed beast. This pleased Duo, a grin curled the edges of his lips while he indolently tilted his head forward and glared at him though the slits of his partial lowered eyelids. His bitter gaze was soon followed by an arrogant bow, he paused with his back lowered, the end of his braid lightly brushing over the floor, and looked bad at them intently as them where staring at him. Duo stood upright laughing a bit, relishing in his recent actions. He began to simply walk away, as if nothing occurred at all, when an error in body functions spasmed, causing him to miss his footing. Duo tumbled forward, bracing his fall with his palms. His breathing rate sharply increased, as beads of sweat formed on his brow. His blood shot eyes widen while tremors ravage his nerves. Duo attempted to push himself upright, but was idle to his commands, and shamefully fell flat on his chest. The shaking mass hunched over on the floor, was stripped of his superiority. His beloved concoction, turned lethal without his detection. Duo endured the raging coughing fit, that furiously rammed the blood up his esophagus. Duo spat the deep crimson out, while gasping for air as he writhed helplessly on the floor. Duo clutched on to his abdomen, arching his back, an inconstant groan of agony tumbled from his lips. His limbs soon went numb, slowly un enthusiastically the crowd surrounded the fallen Man. And as Duo lay there with his cheek pressed against the filthy floor, a trail of blood dripping down the side of his chin, his eyes lost their luster, and body movements ceased.
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without you, without you everything falls apart
without you, it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces
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Was it Decent? Or Shitty? Shall I continue...? Commentary Desired.... Thank You.