Title: Past, Present, Future

Author: kyrdwyn

Rating: R (language, mostly)

Category: Mixed - Romance, UST, angst etc. Mainly involves Sara, Warrick, and Grissom.

Spoilers: Some of the first season, but nothing specific.

Summary: Sara's past comes back to affect her present and her future.

Archived: Will be at my website at some point, also on Fanfiction.net. Other places, please ask first.

Disclaimer: If they appear on CSI, they belong to those companies, CBS, and the actors who make them come alive. The other characters, as well as the plot lines, are mine (or I'm theirs, never quite sure which). Done purely for enjoyment and not for profit.

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Grissom watched as Sara hurried out of the crime lab and into her car. He knew where she was going - home to see her daughter. Six months of full time motherhood had changed Sara, for the better in his opinion. He no longer worried about her mental health, about the job getting to her when she had no outlet, nothing outside the job to take her mind off the things she dealt with every day. Now, she had Ginny.

He wondered when Sara planned on telling him. He could see the knowledge in her eyes, and the guilt, every time she looked at him. She just hadn't gotten the courage to tell him. But he wasn't blind - he could see his own eyes looking back at him when Ginny was at the lab. He remembered that night in San Diego. He remembered feeling sick, afterward, over the fact that she was married. She'd felt the same guilt, so they'd reached an unspoken agreement to never discuss it. But somehow they'd remained friends. He'd asked to her Las Vegas not only because he needed help and she was a good CSI, but also because he knew she'd left her husband and needed a fresh start. Las Vegas was a good place for fresh starts.

He hadn't known about Ginny. Not until Michael had dumped her in Sara's lap. It had been a surprise. Even more so the first time he saw those eyes and knew.

He sighed. Until Sara worked up the courage to tell him, he couldn't do anything. He wouldn't do anything. Sara had her demons she had to overcome, and if keeping Ginny's paternity a secret helped her do that, then he wasn't going to ruin it for her. Sara was a good friend, and he wanted to see her happy.

Still, he wanted to be able to treat Ginny as his daughter, at least the best way he could. Getting close to people was still hard for him. It meant cracking the shell he'd erected around himself, so many years before, to keep the pressures and problems of his profession from getting to him. To keep himself from burning out, the way he'd seen others burn out. The way he had feared Sara would burn out.

That was another reason why he hadn't pushed Sara. He needed to adjust to the idea, to figure out how to fit Ginny - and her mother - into the relative order of his life. Being Ginny's father would mean dealing with Sara on a level that was more than professional colleague, but less than lovers. An awkward limbo he wasn't sure he could handle.

Warrick walked by, and Grissom could see the odd expression in the man's light eyes. He and Sara had gotten closer over the past few months, the antagonism of their early relationship giving way to mutual respect, and maybe something more. Grissom wouldn't say anything to them unless it interfered with the job.

Still, the fact that Warrick knew about Ginny bothered Grissom. Why had Sara told him, and not Grissom? He sighed, sitting down at his desk. He wanted to talk this problem over with someone, but keeping Sara's secrets was paramount to him. That meant both Brass and Catherine were out as confidants. He was pretty much on his own.

There was only one thing he really could do - be Sara's friend and mentor and act accordingly towards Ginny. Speaking of that…

Gil reached into the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out a plastic shopping bag. Inside was the birthday present he'd bought for Ginny. Sara was bringing the girl to the lab tomorrow for her third birthday party. He'd found a toy microscope that was appropriate for Ginny's age. Something he would be expected to give to a child of a colleague.

It wasn't what he wanted to give to his daughter. But until Sara felt comfortable enough to tell him the truth, it was all he could do.