Author's Note: I know I'm supposed to be working on whatever fic you people voted for but I haven't had the chance to even check my reviews. I've been reading stories off the school computers but review pages and bio pages and other random pages don't work on the ancient browsers for some reason. Anyway, I'll go check my reviews and see which fic you actually want to read. I'm pretty sure this chapter should be better than the previous ones if you can just get past the first couple paragraphs, wait until you see the part about GIR! Hang in there!
Disclaimer: I don't own Zim.
Zim swallowed hard as some sort of strange beast finished materializing in the center of the room. It was to dim to see just what it was but he was fairly sure it was at least taller than he was. There was no doubt in his mind as to what this was. While the Snorkans weren't bent on galactic domination they did how ever enslave the odd mystical creature every now and then and this must be one of them. For Zim was almost absolutely sure that this was one of the fabled Blortens from the ancient planet of Kyaz.
Blortens were shape-shifting parasites that fed off the emotions of their prey. Their favorite snack being fear of course. They went about getting dinner by tapping in to their defenseless victims' minds and transforming into whatever their prey feared most. It was really an unpleasant feeling having your brain invaded and then gleaned for information and he rather resented the fact that the thing had apparently discovered something he was afraid of. Zim hadn't even been aware that he was afraid of something.
Swallowing the annoying lump that had formed in his throat Zim came out from behind the block he had been hiding behind. Whatever it was he was going to face it or die trying. The thing finished solidifying and took a step towards. Zim couldn't see what it was in the dim light and he was rather annoyed to find himself shaking. He could feel the thing breathing on him. Opening his eyes all the way he took a good look at it. It was…. *that* monkey!
Zim broke into a bout maniacal laughing. "You think I fear that stupid monkey from that pathetic human show GIR watches! You must be kidding me!" Zim collapsed on the floor in a fit of laughter. The creature tilted its head confused as to why its intended victim's response. "You think…" gasped Zim standing up and glaring at the thing mockingly. "You think that I, ZIM, would fear that stupid monkey! It's disgusting, that's for sure, but I would never fear some stupid Earth cartoon. At least not forever…. Anyway! I will now destroy you and end your pathetic attempts to scare me." The creature seemed to think about this tilting its head in the other direction. Then it grunted and once again started to morph.
Zim, who had once again collapsed in a fit of giggles, suddenly looked up only to be confronted with a giant monkey. "Sweet jumpin' chilibean," gasped Zim as thing lifted it gargantuan paw to crush him. Zim dodged just as the paw smashed to the ground. Quickly the Irken deployed his spider-legs and turned to face the now very scary monkey.
From his back pod Zim produced what appeared to be a giant cattle pod. Brandishing his weapon Zim dove at the monster and proceeded to zap it viciously. Unfortunately Zim's attack did little more than surprise the Blorten. The beast soon displayed another of its unusual talents by blasting energy from its eyes and frying Zim's 'cattle prod'. Shocked and desperate Zim scampered for cover.
Zim crouched panting behind one of the large metallic cubes scattered around the room. Things certainly did not look good for our favorite Invader. If worst came to worst at least Zim could be fairly sure that the human stinkbeast had already met his doom. The foolish human hadn't known what he was in for at all. He'd thought the maze, what was it humans said, lame. Making fun of the lighting, tapping the walls….the hollow walls.
Zim almost gave away his position by yelling aloud. A maze this size couldn't exist unless the rooms had been built on top of or next to each other. And the walls probably had empty space for wiring in them. Looking around the make sure the monkey wasn't watching Zim hurried over to the nearest wall.
Making a hole in the wall took next to no time, it took even less time for the giant primate to realize what Zim was doing. He just barely made it through the hole before a giant paw crashed down covering the opening. Zim collapsed among the pipes and wires panting. He had surely escaped certain doom this time. But before the Invader could congratulate himself the sound of ripping metal startled him. The monkey was tearing up the wall and floor.
~*~ Meanwhile
GIR wondered down the street towards home feeling very confused. It is probably best to too mention just what he was confused about it is enough for you know that he was very confused and had just been fired from his position of a doctor in the maternity ward. All this did not stop the little android for long though. And as impossible as it may seem he actually remembered his master's predicament and rushed home to find a way to save him.
Before long GIR was in the lab looking at all the neat gadgets trying to remember why he'd been in such a hurry. But then GIR saw a machine that pushed Zim completely out of his mind. You see, reading was actually one of GIR's skills and he liked to practice it as often as possible. So when he saw an interesting box-like device with lots of buttons and pretty letters he couldn't help but going over to check it out.
"Ca-lon-in-ga….ca-lon… cologne!" said GIR proudly. "Yay! Cologne Machine! I wanna smell good!" With that GIR jumped inside the machine and started hitting buttons.
~*~ Meanwhile
Dib was having a weird day. One second he'd been standing there waiting for death, hoping he could go out bravely, the next watching a giant hole being ripped in the 'sky' and watching first Zim then a giant monkey fall through. Zim had been lucky and grabbed the edge of the cliff, the monkey hadn't. The giant primate had come crashing down through the hole and smashed into the robot dog that had been preparing to devour Dib. Both monkey and dog had tumbled off the cliff and were plummeting to their doom. Dib recalled the look on the monkey's face as it was pushed from its own area only to meet its ultimate demise, he could sympathize.
~
Zim picked himself up and strode towards the dumb struck human. The Dib-worm was currently staring off into space; a thing that Zim found humans did annoyingly often. Sighing Zim realized he'd have to find away to snap the annoying creature out of it.
"I see you're still alive," said Zim casually, his red eyes glaring into Dib's glazed amber eyes.
"I am?" replied Dib still staring off into space.
"Dib, you may be brain dead but you are most certainly breathing."
"That's nice."
Zim snorted. "Hardly. Your breath is putrid. Let us leave this place, quickly."
"Us? As in me and you?" asked Dib finally focusing.
Zim rolled his eyes, an expression Dib almost missed because of Zim's lack pupils. "No, as in me and that giant monkey. Lets go Dib, now!"
"So… you have some sort of plan to get us out? Are you going to use one of your gadgets?" asked Dib finally coming back to his senses.
"Actually I'm going to use a number of my 'gadgets'," replied Zim examining the wall.
"Right, any idea where we are?"
"I have an impeccable sense of direction."
"Oh, so I should write my will now while we have time then." Zim didn't reply, he was busy boring a hole in the wall.
~*~ Meanwhile
There was a puff of smoke as GIR stepped out of the 'Cologne Machine'. Sniffing the air GIR frowned as he realized he didn't smell any different.
"Aw man," said GIR disappointedly.
"The cologne didn't work," added a second GIR stepping out of the machine.
"But the machine said 'cologne'," said a third GIR stepping out and examining the writing on the side of the machine.
"That's what I thought too," said yet another GIR stepping out to join the group.
"Oh well," concluded GIR number 5.
"Hi!" greeted the first GIR enthusiastically.
"Hi!" answered the other GIRs waving.
"Are you here to help me?" asked the first GIR hopefully.
"I don't know," answered the second GIR.
"But we'll help you anyway," added the third GIR. Other GIRs nodded in agreement.
"Yay!" cheered the first GIR. "Now what was I going to do?" all the GIRs lapsed into thought.
"I know!" shouted one of the GIRs. The others looked up expectantly. "We were gonna order pizza!"
"And go get brain freezies!" added another.
"And rent videos!" chorused another.
"And play with pig!"
"I like pig!"
"Meee tooo." With that all the GIRs except one rushed out of the room to get the said items.
But on GIR, the original GIR stayed behind. Somehow he didn't think it was a party he'd been planning. Oh well, he'd remember what it was later. With that GIR scampered off to join his new found friends, not even bothering to turn off the 'Cologne Machine'.
~*~ Meanwhile
"The exit should be in this room," said Zim as he climbed through a hole in the wall followed by a very battered Dib.
"You've said that 7 times already," groaned Dib as he staggered across the floor.
"Minor miscalculations," stated Zim casually without looking at Dib. "They even happen to me, infrequently but they do happen."
"Oh sure."
"Hey! You don't have to be here!"
"Well excuse me for seeing the obvious. And it's not like you've been warning me what to expect at all."
"I told you about that squid!"
"Yeah! After it had already stuffed me in its mouth!"
"Well I helped you get out."
"You laughed! The thing threw up!"
"I can't blame it either, you really do smell horrible."
"I was in the squid! Crustaceans don't use breath mints Zim!"
"Anyway, the exit should be right over here," said Zim walking off.
"It had better be," muttered Dib following him.
"Listen here you…" Zim trailed off as a giant screen lowered from the ceiling. The screen flickered and the image of a short, stout, ugly snorkan appeared.
"Who's that?" asked Dib in a whisper. Zim didn't reply. Dib gulped visibly guessing immediately.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Author's Note: All right, I'll go work on my other fics now. Just had to get that out of my system.