"DIE!"

Hiiro pressed the button and watched with glee as a missile blew up Duo's craft. Duo threw down his controller and hit

the T.V. screen as Hiiro laughed maniacally.

"Dammit! This Diddy-Kong racing game sucks!"

"You're just mad cause you lost!"

"Shut up, Quatre, no one asked you!"

"Why don't we switch to movies?" Trowa suggested.

"We don't have a V.C.R." Quatre reminded him.

"Why not?"

"Wufei's fixing it..."

"God!" Duo rolled his eyes. "It'll never work now!"

Just then, Wufei came out of the back room carrying black boxes. He set them all down by the T.V. with a triumphant smile. Trowa raised an eyebrow.

"What is this?"

"It's our new, improved, multi-tape deck, digital V.C.R.!" he yelled, followed immediately by a screaming laugh.

Lightning flashed and the electricity gave out. Everyone cowered in the dark. When the lights flickered back on, Wufei was already hooking up the wires. Trowa heard chattering in his ear. Unprying clinging arms from around his neck, he tried to pull them off. Quatre's blond hair was standing straight up.

"That's so cute!" Duo squeaked. "Why don't you ever hold me like that, Hiiro?"

"I'm not holding him like anything!" Trowa yelled, and he dropped Quatre on the floor. Hiiro was already beating Duo over the head with the butt of his gun. They all stopped as blue sparks came from the T.V. corner. Wufei took out a stack of video tapes and started putting them in. He then took a gigantic clicker out and pushed the power button. Lights flashes and sparks flew as the machine powered up. Everyone started screaming.

"IT LIVES!" Wufei yelled.

"What's going on, Wufei?!" Hiiro demanded. "My head feels like it's getting ripped off!"

"I see swirlies everywhere!" Quatre cried.

Then there was darkness...

Hiiro woke with a groan. He put a hand on his head and took off a red cap. Wait a minute! He looked at his hands. Gloves...?

"These aren't my clothes!"

He looked around. Wasn't this a forest? What was he doing here?

Suddenly, the bushes next to him began to shake. Hiiro froze. He took out a gun and aimed, breathing quietly. Then, it lept out of the bushes. Hiiro shot, and the thing dropped midair. A wheezing, nasal voice creaked:

"Bul...ba...saur...*croak*"

Hiiro just stared.

"Oh, GOD NO!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Trowa got up and dusted himself off.

"Funny," he thought. "I thought I put on blue jeans this morning..."

He looked around and saw that he was in a desert. Now this was interesting...then something whizzed over his head. It whirled past him, and then all of a sudden, three beings stood before him.

"Is this one of them?" the black haired one with the bandana around his neck asked.

"No," the blonde answered. "His hair is not pointy enough."

"Perhaps it is a trick," the tall mowhawked one said. "I do not trust him."

"Um..." Trowa looked at the humanoids. "What are these?" He fluffed out his puffy red pants. "Did you take my blue jeans?"

"They are coming!" the black haired one said to the blond.

"What?" Trowa looked and saw more lights speeding towards them.

A man with pointy black hair and a bright orange suit stood with a caped green giant and a small, bald midget. The green giant spoke in a growl.

"You're going DOWN, Androids!"

Trowa looked at him, troubled. "You sound familiar..."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Wufei woke up in an alleyway. He jumped up and stared into a glass window.

"Incredible! We've entered different dimensions!"

Sirens screamed in the nearby streets, and there was a thick fog. Wufei turned around to behold a large, shining, silver motor bike. He trepidly crept up to it to peek at the inside. He looked around once more and then popped up the top and slipped into the seat. He flipped up the power switches and twisted the handles. The rumble of the engine shook the ground.

"This is SO cool!"

Wufei popped open a compartment and took out black shades.

"Oh yeah baby!"

He straightened his leather and thumbed his nose. Then he sped off.

Soon, he noticed all the people were heading towards a large, sphere shaped metal ball protruding out of the ground.

"What is that?"

He drove towards it. At the top, there was a boy with a long, red cape and hair that looked like he had stuck his finger in a socket. He stood with a perpetual frown. As he drove towards the boy, a red motorcycle stopped in front of him.

"Who are you!?" a boy with a city accent yelled.

"Are we in New York?" Wufei wondered.

"Listen, man, I don't know where you're from, but you'd better get that bad ass bike outta here, and yours, too!"

"Who's the kid who looks like he's had too much sugar?"

"The kid who's gonna blow you to hell and back in a second! Get outta here!"

Wufei powered up and sped past the boy. He screeched to a stop in front of the strange caped figure.

"Who are you?" Wufei demanded. "You look like me with a bad gel-job!"

The boy looked at Wufei and wrinkled up his eyebrows. "I want your bike," he said.

Wufei laughed. "Tough cookies, you can't have it."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Duo sat up and looked around. He stared at all the wires everywhere. Sitting in front of him was some sort of computer. Curiously, he clicked the "ON" button. The screen lit up, and a mechanical voice spoke:

"Welcome. Please enter user's name."

Duo typed in his name and waited. The computer beeped menacingly.

"Unrecognized user. Please state your name."

"Duo," he spoke slowly.

There was more beeping.

"Access denied. Please remove yourself from the user's chair."

"Stupid computer," Duo mumbled.

"I know you are, but what am I?" the computer asked.

"Listen buddy," Duo stuck his finger in the screen's 'face'. "I don't know who programmed you, but he's got to be a real moron."

"That was a pretty stupid thing to say. You are a very pathetic being."

"I know you are, but what am I? " Duo teased.

"Get your smart-ass out of the chair!"

"Make me! AAAAAAACK!"

Wires began beating him about the head, and then clipped on to him. Suddenly, he was in a pitch black place.

"Where am I?" he wondered. Then voices spoke.

"Who is Lain?"

"Who is Lain?"

They echoed everywhere.

"I don't know!" Duo yelled. "Did you look in the phone book?"

"Who is Lain? Who is Lain?"

"My name is Duo," he offered.

The voices stopped, and there was a long pause.

"Who is Duo? Who is Duo?"

"I'm me! Just shut up!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Quatre felt the snow cap on his head. He looked at his baggy jeans and wind breaker.

"I'm a street guy!" he giggled. Thenk, he noticed a box next to him. Openning it, he gasped. It was a gun. Suddenly, a girl stood before him. She was very timid looking with brown hair wrapped up in braids to form loops.

"Are you him?" she asked in a sweet voice.

"Who?"

"Come on! We gotta go!"

She grabbed his hand and ran towards the escalator in the mall.

"Where are we going?!" Quatre yelled.

"SHH!" she hissed.

She stopped and bent over to take something out of her case.

"You may not know this," Quatre informed her, "but your skirt is a little...short." She ignored him. "In fact, you can kinda see alot, y'know?" She still gave him no answer, only threw a gass can. It exploded, and people started to scream and panic.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Quatre yelled.

"There he is," she pointed to a man in a buisness suit.

"Who?"

The girl didn't answer, only walked directly up to the man, and put a bullet through his head. It then bubbled and exploded.

"OH MY GOD!" Quatre screamed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"ASH!" Brock put his hands on his hips. "Guns aren't allowed on the show!"

"I'm not Ash," Hiiro said for the umpteenth time.

"Brock is right, Ash," Misty stepped up next to him. "And why didn't you come over last night?" she whispered. Hiiro frowned at her.

"And what are we gonna do about Bulbasaur?" Brock cried.

"Eat him," Hiiro said, "I'm kinda hungry..."

"Ash!" Misty yelled.

"Prrreee!" Tokepi chirped.

"What kind of shit is that?" Hiiro said, pointing at Tokepi.

"Ash, this show is Y7! Behave!"

Something suddenly hopped up on Hiiro's shoulder.

"Pika-!!"

Hiiro quickly threw the thing to the ground and stomped on it. Brock yelled.

"You're going to get in serious trouble, little man!"

Hiiro didn't answer. He just shot him.

"AARGH!" blood streamed from his chest as Brock reeled to the ground.

Suddenly, the entire world started to morph.

"Oh no, Ash!" Misty looked at her hands.

"What's going on?!" Hiiro demanded.

"The show! It's becoming TV14!"

Hiiro looked as his jeans began to tighten and his muslces bulged.

"Oh, well, this is cool."

He looked over at Misty. She was now wearing a low cut tank-top and almost no shorts at all. Hiiro raised his eyebrows.

"Way to go, lover boy," she flipped her long red hair behind her shoulders and put her hand on her hip. "Now we're up to our heads in shit!"

"I think it's an improvement," Hiiro said, looking around.

Then, a huge booming voice roared.

"TOOOKKKEEPPII!"

"Ash, look out!" Misty whipped out a laser gun and blasted it. Green goo covered them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"RRRRRrrrrrRRRRRRRrrrrrRRRRRRRR!!!!!!"

Everyone's eyes were twitching.

"How long do we have to do this?" Trowa whispered to the small bald one. "It's been half an hour, already.

"Concentrate!" the green one said.

"But I don't see how making these sounds and twitching is going to help anything!"

Everyone stopped and stared at him.

"Blasphemy!" Piccolo yelled.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"

Bits and pieces of metal began to fly around Wufei's head.

"RARRRRRRRRRRRGH!" Wufei screamed back.

They were standing head to head now in a contest. The whole city was watching, holding their breath. Finally, Wufei yelled a yell so loud, the moon blew up.

Then a man screamed: "Akira has returned!!!!!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Duo stood tapping his foot. This girl with glasses was getting on his nerves.

"It no longer mattered whether I was in the real world or-"

"Yeah, yeah, you said that already. I don't understand! Why did you die again? And don't start doing that funny thing with your face!"

The girl heaved a sigh and disappeared. Duo was left alone until a girl with short hair with a lock to the side appeared.

"What are you doing in my Navi?"

Duo looked at her. "Lain, right?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Quatre was curled up in a little ball by the sofa. The man with the funny patch scared him. So did the girl with the funny earrings. Where was he, anyway?

The girl was speaking to the man.

"Is this the guy? He's too scared to be any good."

"I'm not scared! I just have a kind heart!" Quatre cried indignantly.

The girl giggled, and the man cocked an eyebrow.

"Shut up, kid," he said.

"See, you're angry! That's not good. We need to learn to deal with our anger." Quatre stood up. "We all have to learn to let go of it. Open up! Listen to the heart of outer space!" The girl and man now let their mouths drop. "Let the love flow, people- let the love flow!"

"Kite," the man lit a smoke, "shoot him."

Quatre shrieked, but all of a sudden, he was teleported back to their living room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Duo grinned at Lain again and took a sip of his soda.

"So, you're into Navi's eh? I'm pretty good at machinery myself, you know..."

Lain looked at him, uninterested.

"In fact...if you like, sometime, I can show you my Gundam and..."

Duo looked at the words on a nearby sign. As he did so, they started to morph. He read them aloud:

"'Fulfill the property'? Wait, no! Prophecy! What prophecy?"

The words morphed again into: "Not you, bozo- beat it!"

"Damn," Duo rolled his eyes. "Everyone here is so rude. I would leave if I could, but-"

Then Duo was transported back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"My loyal subjects!" Wufei yelled. "Your mighty lord, Akira, with the awesome bike, has returned! I order all your hair to be cut and died black like mine! Also-"

He then disappeared.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Now, what was your name?" Trowa asked.

"Krillin."

"Krillin, you try!"

Krillin walked up and quickly zapped a nearby tree.

"Very nice," Trowa applauded. "See? You don' t really need all that twitching and bitching to kill each other! And think of how much faster the episode would go!"

"You are truly the greatest master!" Goku cried.

Trowa was about to say something when he suddenly vanished.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Whoever heard of bedroom monsters!" Hiiro yelled as he pried Misty's hands off of him. "They'd have to call it Bed-a-mon!"

"Just kiss me, you fool, we're on HBO, now!"

Hiiro slapped her hands again. "This is crazy!"

Just then, James came walking in wearing a dress and pink lipstick.

"Hey, Misty! After you're done with him, I want a turn!"

"AAAAAAH!" Hiiro screamed, and suddenly, he was back in the room with all the others.

They now all stood staring, not saying anything. Then Duo spoke.

"Hey, Hiiro, bet I can beat you using Banjo!"

"You're on!"

The End