2/9
"I wish there could have been--"
"Daddy!"
She started, eyes fluttering open to the darkened room. She took a deep breath, tried to slow the frantic pounding of her heart, and glanced over to make sure she hadn't disturbed Nathan. Still asleep. She breathed a sigh of relief. It was better for both of them when he slept through her nightmares. She beat on her pillow a little and curled up on her side, dragging the blanket up around her shoulders. Outside the window, moonlight was fading in and out as clouds started to obscure the sky. She watched its intermittent glow on the dew soaked yard as she lay sleepless and uneasy.
Beside her, Nate stirred, not awake but perhaps sensing her disquiet unconsciously, and she sighed at the familiar weight of his arm sliding around her waist, taking a small comfort in his proximity. Outside, the night began to fade, daylight muted by quietly hissing rain.
----
His first thought upon waking was that he felt remarkably good, given yesterday's surprises. He turned, eyes settling on Domino's side of the bed. She was turned away from him, the sheet that covered her doing little to disguise the graceful lines of her body. Her hair spilled over her shoulder and trailed down her bare back, black as coal against her fair skin. He lay there watching the slow rise and fall of her ribcage as she breathed, etching the moment into his mind. "You awake?"
She rolled onto her back and turned her eyes on him, lips curving in an amused smile. He remembered how disorientating that gaze of hers had always been. Back when she'd first joined the Wild Pack, it had been unsettling to say the least. She was friendly enough with the others, but she'd watched him, as if trying to see inside his head so she could understand him. "What are you doing?"
"Watching you." He traced fingertips down the length of her collarbone, to the hollow of her neck. He'd wanted something more for her, in those early days. Long before he could have claimed to know her at all. All he could see was a woman--barely more than a girl, with an intellect honed by experiences she never should have had and eyes shadowed by abuse no person should ever have had to bear. Another child sacrificed to the injustice of the world. It had made him uncomfortable in her presence, the feelings of anger and helplessness she managed to evoke in him.
Now, after so many years, those emotions had faded to a dull ache. His fingers continued their journey down her sternum, the valley between her breasts, and her lean torso, finally laying his palm on the flat of her stomach. Her eyes were closed, that trace of a smile still lingering on her lips. Her hand moved to cover his own. He closed his own eyes, concentrating on the feel of her skin beneath his hand. She could have been so much more... "Have you ever thought of doing something else?"
"Something else?"
"Instead of this life," he said, almost sorry he'd asked the question. He didn't want this moment to end.
"No. I don't think there was ever a choice."
"Maybe."
"There are worse things I could have become."
"Better things too," he murmured.
"Maybe." She lifted his hand from her stomach. "It seems so wrong," she said, running a thumb across the back of his hand, turning it over, tracing the lines of his palm, his fingers. "That times like these are the only times we can let ourselves feel anything. Like the sunlight would destroy us if we tried to live like normal people."
"We've never been normal."
"No," she smiled. "That's a safe assertion. Think about it," she said quietly. "When I was just a little brat, you were off fighting battles already. I'm right, aren't I? There's what--ten, fifteen years between us?"
"Something like that. Time travel is... funny."
"Funny. To put it lightly. I mean, you want to get technical, I'm the way-older woman." She smiled lopsidedly. "Hell, for all I know, I'm older than your parents, though I'll beg you not to confirm that, I don't think I could handle that little twist."
"What put you in the mood to try and figure us out all of the sudden?" He captured her hand in his own and rested it on his chest.
"We never talk about it. We never talk about anything. Or rather, we never say anything. We swear at each other, and yell, and fuck to make it all better afterwards, but I could count on one hand the number of real, civil conversations we've had in the past ten years."
"Half that time you were barely speaking to me."
"That's my point. We always fell back on not talking." She freed her hand, running it along his left arm, a thoughtful look on her face. "What does that feel like?"
"Not much," he said. "Pressure... but the sensation is muted."
She nodded slowly. "Sometimes I can almost trick myself into forgetting." Her voice was soft. "You haven't fooled me, you know."
"Hm?"
"Your TK isn't as strong as it used to be, is it? Not by a long shot." She sighed. "Did you think that by not mentioning it, I somehow wouldn't notice?"
He flopped back on the pillows heavily, hands behind his head. "You didn't need the stress."
Her smile was a sad one. "This isn't something inconsequential, Nate."
"No," he replied. "But manageable. I just have to be careful." He glanced over at her. "We've been down this road before."
"It's different now," she sighed. "You're used to using your powers more. I know I'm certainly not an expert on this sort of thing, but that's going to be a liability."
"Jean thinks with enough training I could probably regain some of what I lost."
"But never all of it."
"No." He shifted again so he could look her in the eye. "I always knew killing Apocalypse was going to cost me," he said.
"You always thought it'd kill you," she corrected quietly.
"It should have." He reached out and stroked the side of her face lightly. "I'm not going anywhere, Dom."
"Yeah. I--" Her voice broke, and she took a deep breath. "I know you're fine, for the most part. But then I remember watching the T-O tear you apart after we beat Onslaught, thinking you were gonna die right there in front of me. It still hurts, y'know?"
"I've watched you throw yourself into insane situations hundreds of times," he countered.
"Not the same. That's part of the job. And you've pulled plenty of suicidal stunts in your day, lout. This is... different. Even if we decided to be regular nine-to-five people tomorrow, this wouldn't go away." She said, laying back down on her own side of the bed. "I'm sorry. I just--" She shook her head. "Things are a bit mixed up, I'm looking for stable ground, and you're it."
He chuckled quietly. "Stable? That's a new one."
"Well, comparatively--" She trailed off, smiling slightly at the look on his face. "We're so damaged."
"Oh, I think we do all right..." He turned on his side, reaching out to gently tangle his fingers in her hair, watching as it cascaded from his grip, reflecting the dim light of the grey, rainy morning. She reached out and pulled him down to her, skin like silk against his own. He looked down into her face, thumbs brushing lightly over the perfect ivory of her shoulders. If he closed his eyes, he could feel every contour of her lean body beneath him. To think that he'd been afraid for so long to get close to her, to let himself feel this... he'd been so reluctant to let himself love her.
She shifted, a wicked smile flashing across her face at the stifled groan it elicited from him. "You just going to stare at me all day?" She asked teasingly.
"I could," he murmured, and trailed a kiss along her neck, "if you'd like..."
"That'd hardly do anything for me," she replied a bit huskily.
#Well, we certainly can't have that...# He heard her gasp, hands tightening reflexively on his shoulders as his mouth slid lower, their link pulsating with intertwined desires. He focused on that place where her mind bled over into his own, no longer her thoughts or his, but theirs, something wholly different and so earth-shatteringly beautiful he wanted to stop and examine it, revel in its brilliance. He laughed inwardly as Dom mentally threatened to kill him if he did any such thing.
She drew him back up to her, mouth capturing his own in a hungry kiss as need burned over the link like a sweet ache. Her face was flushed, skin as hot as his own as she pressed against him. This was stronger than lust, more than just sex. She was a part of him, joined on more than just a physical level, and all her feelings were laid bare for him to see. It was as beautiful as she was, and he gave in kind, offering up what was in his heart without the awkward need for words.
----
Cable leaned in the doorway of the living room watching Dom, seated cross-legged on the floor, meticulously going over the contents of their armory. One slender hand would reach out, choosing a gun from the pile. Violet eyes would give the piece close scrutiny, and then she'd lay it aside in a growing pile on her right.
"Something happening I haven't heard about?" He crossed the room, leaning against the arm of the couch.
She looked over the weapons spread out on the floor before her. "I've made up my mind." She glanced up, meeting his eyes. "For better or worse, I want to pursue this. I can't just leave it as is. I've got too much at stake now."
He nodded. "How do you want to go about it, then?"
She sighed, leaning back against the front of the couch. "Call the kids, head down there early tomorrow. I want to see what I can find from a few contacts before I make any other plans." She paused. "There's stuff we need to talk about, but I need some time."
"And what am I supposed to tell them?"
She rubbed at her eyes tiredly. "Nothing, for now. I'm not sure I want them involved."
"They're going to ask."
"I know. I'll deal with that once we're there, okay? I have *no* idea what I'm going to turn up here. I don't want to do anything until I know a little more."
He nodded again, and went to the phone in the kitchen. Domino started gathering up the weapons on the floor and went to pack.
----
They left at four the following morning, Domino taking the first shift at the wheel. Nate dozed on and off next to her as she navigated the interstate, heading south toward the California border. At eight, they pulled off to get something to eat.
"You want me to take over?"
She picked at her bagel. "Sure. I didn't sleep much before we left... maybe I can catch a nap."
He nodded and sipped his coffee. "How much information do we have to go on?"
She closed her eyes, leaning on her hand. "A couple of names, a city. A few other details. I want to see how much pans out. Might not go anywhere."
"But you think it will. You wouldn't be doing this otherwise."
"Yeah. He--whoever wrote that damned letter, even if they're not who they claim to be, they know things, Nathan. Things no one else does--that no one else could. I can't ignore that. It's too dangerous."
He reached across the table, resting his hand lightly on hers. "If you want to talk about it..."
She shook her head. "There's not much to say, anyway. It's not that I don't trust you, Nate. I do, but... you know how it is. There are some things that just hurt to much to talk about." She got up and pulled on her coat. "We should get going. There's still a long drive ahead of us."
----
They called the warehouse when they were just outside San Francisco, and Sam was waiting for them when they pulled into the garage. He helped carry the bags inside, despite a muttered protest from Dom.
"It's uncharacteristically quiet around here." She eyed Sam. "Did you finally duct tape their mouths shut and lock them in the closet?"
He chuckled. "No, ma'am. Much as I may want to some days... Terry an' Jimmy are out trying to find out a bit more about GenCorp's operations. Tab and Bobby are around here someplace, I s'pose..."
"It's even clean. I'm truly amazed, Guthrie. Looks like you've been keeping everyone on their toes."
"Well, I had plenty of good teachers in that respect," he replied. "The computer room should be all in order, if ya want to get down to business."
"I'll take the bags upstairs," Cable grabbed the luggage from the floor where they'd set it upon entering the house. Domino nodded and headed off down the hall towards the communications suite.
"Sir, can I ask you a question?" Cannonball asked, after watching his former team leader vanish down the corridor.
"Sure," he headed towards the stairs, and Sam followed behind.
"Is Dom alright? There are a few rumors driftin' around about her. An' frankly, she doesn't look all that great."
Cable sighed, setting the bags down in he and Dom's old room, then turned to face the young man. "I'm not going to lie to you, Sam, and I don't know what you've heard. Dom's dealing with some stuff right now, and most of it isn't pretty. But I think she's going to be okay. She needs time."
That seemed to be sufficient explanation, and Sam nodded. "Ah can understand that. Part of me knows it's pointless to worry 'bout her, but Ah can't help it any more than I can help worryin' 'bout any of X-Force. Y'all are like mah family."
"She'd probably be flattered you felt that way," Nate replied. "Not that she'd let you know that, of course."
"No, I reckon she wouldn't," Sam chuckled.
----
"Where do we start?"
"Death records, I guess," she replied grimly. "I'm pretty sure the names I've got aren't for people who're still alive and kicking." She looked over at a legal pad that had some notes scribbled on it. "See if you can find anything on a 'Kristian Matthew Gaines.' ...worked with the US government, apparently, but that's all I know." She sighed. "I have a distinct feeling I'm going to be at this for a long time." They settled in at the computer and got down to work.
Cable leaned back in his chair, looking over the scant information he'd been able to gather from the databases X-Force's computer system had access to. All he'd been able to find was that Gaines had worked for the government--the CIA, to be precise, but everything about his time with the agency was buried beyond even their ability to access it. Domino was currently on the phone with G.W., who was in turn going to try to pull a few favors for her. He stood from his chair with a slight wince, glancing at the time. "Going to turn in. I don't think there's anything left for me to find, for the time being."
Dom nodded, still engrossed in her conversation, and he headed out of the room. He found Sam still awake, drinking hot chocolate in the kitchen. He looked up. "How's it goin'? Findin' whatever it is you're looking for?"
"Sort of," Cable replied. "Dom's chasing down a few more leads. I'm going to bed. If you're still up, chase her off before it gets too late? She hardly sleeps as is."
"Sure thing. Ah'm just going over some stuff Westchester sent us earlier."
"Turned anything up yet?"
"Nope. Maybe they caught on that the buildings are bein' watched. Wish we knew more 'bout what was going on."
"I think we all do, Sam," he replied tiredly. "I'll see you in the morning."
"Sure thing, sir." He went back to sorting through his paperwork, and Cable headed upstairs.
----
Domino rubbed at her eyes blearily, trying to concentrate on the computer screen in front of her. G.W. had managed to get her a few more leads on Gaines, and there was a promise of more forthcoming, once he had time to work on it. She rolled her shoulders and scrolled through the information on the screen. There was a quiet noise behind her, and she turned her head to see Sam standing in the doorway holding two mugs.
"Am Ah interrupting?" He asked, walking over to the computer station. He set one of the mugs down next to her.
"No, I was just--" she shook her head and sighed. "Getting frustrated, mostly." She picked up the coffee mug and took a sip. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it," he replied, taking a sip from his own mug, which she had a sneaking suspicion contained hot chocolate. "It's almost three AM."
"I guess I wasn't watching the clock," she said.
"Find anything?"
"Not much," she replied. "It seems most of the files were never declassified, and almost nothing was put on databases. We're looking for information more than thirty years old." She sighed. "We might have to go in after it."
"Ma'am, can Ah ask you something?"
"Sure," she replied, turning back to the console. The printer at the other end of the room started up noisily.
"What exactly is this all about? X-Force is more than happy t' help out, but they are mah team now. Ah kinda feel obligated to find out what Ah'm gettin' them into."
She sighed again and rubbed absently at the side of her head, as if trying to ward off a headache. "Sam--I can't really get into it. It's personal."
"With all due respect, you an' Cable taught us to never walk into situations blindly."
"I know... I'm sorry, but this is just something you'll have to trust us on. I don't think it's something I want you guys involved in."
"Ah'm not sure I like that."
"You don't have to like it," she said, gathering the documents from the printer tray and heading for the door. "It's just the way it is."
"An' you don't trust us enough to explain?"
She paused, glancing back at him. "I'm sorry, Sam," she replied, and left the room.