From Here To Eternity: The Road to Redemption - The First Step, Part 2
Disclaimers can be found in Part 0.
***
The last place O'Neill wanted to visit was Ft. Leavenworth and the last person he wanted to see was Makepeace and it showed to everyone who looked in his direction as he walked to the Visitor's Gate and waited in line to be let in. Too many bad memories of what he had had to do to put Makepeace in this place haunted him: the nasty remarks he'd thrown at Carter and Daniel, his team mates ... his friends. The pain and confusion he saw in their eyes when they'd look at him. The knowing that they had stood up for him even after everyone else was convinced that he had tumbled down that long, dark tunnel towards betrayal. The same place the man he was coming to see had entered over a year ago.
Makepeace's lawyer had been contacting him off and on for six months trying to get him to go see his client. He had always ... always told him that under no circumstances would he visit Makepeace. He felt he knew why the man wanted to see him. He wanted to explain ... to make Jack understand why he did what he did and convince him that it was the right thing to do. Jack didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to give Makepeace the satisfaction and he especially didn't want to give Makepeace anything to ease any conscience he might have. As his father always told him, "You make your bed, you have to lay in it." Well Makepeace made his and it ended up being an eight by ten foot cell that would be his for the rest of his life.
***
He paced in his cell, waiting to be summoned to his meeting trying to plan out what he would say and how he would say it. The seconds ticked away and he saw his life ticking away with it because if he decided to go through with this ... if he convinced O'Neill that what he had to say was the truth, then he was what they'd call 'deadman walking'. His life was forfeit.
When his lawyer had told him that O'Neill had given in, that he was coming to visit him, Makepeace had at once been relieved. However now doubts were starting to work their way into his mind like kudzu worked its way into the ground spreading out, growing to take over everything in its path. He didn't know if he could go through with it and if he could, if he would be able to convince O'Neill of his sincerity. He knew that if their roles were reversed, he wouldn't. But then maybe that could work for him. Maybe he could convince O'Neill by using the arguments that he knew O'Neill would use against him.
***
O'Neill sat at attention in the metal chair facing the glass and the empty area beyond which would soon be filled by Makepeace. He tried to keep his mind free of all that had happened and that the man whom he would soon be talking to was a traitor ... a traitor not specifically to the country he served but to the command he had been assigned to. It was a difficult undertaking and one which he was failing. His mind kept returning to seeing Makepeace bending down to tie his boot, but in actuality taking the artifact that he had hidden there. He kept hearing Makepeace's words over and over again as O'Neill had grabbed his arms and cuffed him sending him to join the other men and women whom Maybourne had talked ... ordered? ... into doing his bidding. The more he thought about that day, the more frustrated he became. He closed his eyes, raised his face to the ceiling, and took a deep breath. He continued to sit in this position even after he heard someone sit in the chair across from him.
"Hello Jack."
O'Neill didn't move. Hearing Makepeace's voice so calmly say his name brought all the rage he had felt when the Tollan and the Nox had first told them of the thefts to the surface of his mind. He wanted to lash out at the man in front of him but if Makepeace did know something, it was his responsibility to try and get it. He took another deep breath, opened his eyes and finally looked at the man he had come here to see.
He was shocked at the man's appearance. A year had done a lot to change the once proud warrior into a mere shadow of what he used to be. He looked smaller, his shoulders stooped, his hair was thinner and almost completely gray, but it was the eyes that drew O'Neill's attention. They were full of doubt and fear. Doubt, O'Neill might be able to understand, but fear ... fear of what?
"Makepeace."
"I'm glad you came," said Makepeace.
Jack shrugged. "I'm not."
Makepeace nodded understanding. "I could guess." He took a breath dropping his eyes to the floor in front of him. "Jack I'm not going to apologize for what I did ..."
"Yeah I never expected you to," interruped O'Neill. "You and Maybourne are two peas in a pod. You both figure you know what's best for everyone."
"I expect you to dispise me for what I did. I expect you to not really listen to what I need to tell you because in the way you think me and Maybourne always figure we know what's best, you do to."
O'Neill bristled at the comparison. He raised a hand pointing his index finger at Makepeace. "Don't you ever compare me to you and Maybourne."
"Jack ..."
"Colonel or O'Neill. You lost the right to call me Jack when you turned traitor. You got me?" Venom dripped from his voice as he interrupted the man sitting across from him.
Makepeace withdrew letting O'Neill have his way. "Colonel O'Neill. I asked to see you for a reason ... not to atone or make you understand ... there isn't anyway I can do that."
"Then why?"
"A year in the place, listening to all the stories everyone here has, listening to yourself tell the same stories ... it does something to you," said Makepeace looking through the walls and into the cell block and seeing the men who all had the same song to sing. 'I'm innocent. I was set up.'
"Ever since the trial ... You know they convinced everyone that I was nuts and that what I'd really done was sell satellite recon photos to the Iraquis?" he asked with an almost wistful smile on his face.
"Yeah, I heard."
"Well ever since the trial I've had a lot of time to think and listen. There's not much else you can do while you're in here. What I hear is a bunch of men who blame everyone else for their being here. I said it myself and in a way, I believe it."
O'Neill slumped down in his chair and crossed his arms in front of chest. "Yeah well, you would."
Makepeace leaned forward. "Think about it. If it hadn't been you and Hammond in at the beginning ... if it'd been Maybourne and someone who thinks the way he does, it'd be you sitting here ... not me."
"Yeah right." Jack sat up. "Give me a break Makepeace. What did you want to talk to me about because if this is it then we don't have anything more to discuss and I can home."
"I want to give you the people that Maybourne answers to."
O'Neill tried to hide the shock he felt. //I want to give you the people that Maybourne answers to.// He knew it was what Moorman and Hammond had hoped, but was it going to be the truth? And he had to wonder why was Makepeace doing this? What did he have to gain or what did he think he had to gain from it?
"In exchange for what?"
"For my soul," he whispered.
~~fini
Disclaimers can be found in Part 0.
***
The last place O'Neill wanted to visit was Ft. Leavenworth and the last person he wanted to see was Makepeace and it showed to everyone who looked in his direction as he walked to the Visitor's Gate and waited in line to be let in. Too many bad memories of what he had had to do to put Makepeace in this place haunted him: the nasty remarks he'd thrown at Carter and Daniel, his team mates ... his friends. The pain and confusion he saw in their eyes when they'd look at him. The knowing that they had stood up for him even after everyone else was convinced that he had tumbled down that long, dark tunnel towards betrayal. The same place the man he was coming to see had entered over a year ago.
Makepeace's lawyer had been contacting him off and on for six months trying to get him to go see his client. He had always ... always told him that under no circumstances would he visit Makepeace. He felt he knew why the man wanted to see him. He wanted to explain ... to make Jack understand why he did what he did and convince him that it was the right thing to do. Jack didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to give Makepeace the satisfaction and he especially didn't want to give Makepeace anything to ease any conscience he might have. As his father always told him, "You make your bed, you have to lay in it." Well Makepeace made his and it ended up being an eight by ten foot cell that would be his for the rest of his life.
***
He paced in his cell, waiting to be summoned to his meeting trying to plan out what he would say and how he would say it. The seconds ticked away and he saw his life ticking away with it because if he decided to go through with this ... if he convinced O'Neill that what he had to say was the truth, then he was what they'd call 'deadman walking'. His life was forfeit.
When his lawyer had told him that O'Neill had given in, that he was coming to visit him, Makepeace had at once been relieved. However now doubts were starting to work their way into his mind like kudzu worked its way into the ground spreading out, growing to take over everything in its path. He didn't know if he could go through with it and if he could, if he would be able to convince O'Neill of his sincerity. He knew that if their roles were reversed, he wouldn't. But then maybe that could work for him. Maybe he could convince O'Neill by using the arguments that he knew O'Neill would use against him.
***
O'Neill sat at attention in the metal chair facing the glass and the empty area beyond which would soon be filled by Makepeace. He tried to keep his mind free of all that had happened and that the man whom he would soon be talking to was a traitor ... a traitor not specifically to the country he served but to the command he had been assigned to. It was a difficult undertaking and one which he was failing. His mind kept returning to seeing Makepeace bending down to tie his boot, but in actuality taking the artifact that he had hidden there. He kept hearing Makepeace's words over and over again as O'Neill had grabbed his arms and cuffed him sending him to join the other men and women whom Maybourne had talked ... ordered? ... into doing his bidding. The more he thought about that day, the more frustrated he became. He closed his eyes, raised his face to the ceiling, and took a deep breath. He continued to sit in this position even after he heard someone sit in the chair across from him.
"Hello Jack."
O'Neill didn't move. Hearing Makepeace's voice so calmly say his name brought all the rage he had felt when the Tollan and the Nox had first told them of the thefts to the surface of his mind. He wanted to lash out at the man in front of him but if Makepeace did know something, it was his responsibility to try and get it. He took another deep breath, opened his eyes and finally looked at the man he had come here to see.
He was shocked at the man's appearance. A year had done a lot to change the once proud warrior into a mere shadow of what he used to be. He looked smaller, his shoulders stooped, his hair was thinner and almost completely gray, but it was the eyes that drew O'Neill's attention. They were full of doubt and fear. Doubt, O'Neill might be able to understand, but fear ... fear of what?
"Makepeace."
"I'm glad you came," said Makepeace.
Jack shrugged. "I'm not."
Makepeace nodded understanding. "I could guess." He took a breath dropping his eyes to the floor in front of him. "Jack I'm not going to apologize for what I did ..."
"Yeah I never expected you to," interruped O'Neill. "You and Maybourne are two peas in a pod. You both figure you know what's best for everyone."
"I expect you to dispise me for what I did. I expect you to not really listen to what I need to tell you because in the way you think me and Maybourne always figure we know what's best, you do to."
O'Neill bristled at the comparison. He raised a hand pointing his index finger at Makepeace. "Don't you ever compare me to you and Maybourne."
"Jack ..."
"Colonel or O'Neill. You lost the right to call me Jack when you turned traitor. You got me?" Venom dripped from his voice as he interrupted the man sitting across from him.
Makepeace withdrew letting O'Neill have his way. "Colonel O'Neill. I asked to see you for a reason ... not to atone or make you understand ... there isn't anyway I can do that."
"Then why?"
"A year in the place, listening to all the stories everyone here has, listening to yourself tell the same stories ... it does something to you," said Makepeace looking through the walls and into the cell block and seeing the men who all had the same song to sing. 'I'm innocent. I was set up.'
"Ever since the trial ... You know they convinced everyone that I was nuts and that what I'd really done was sell satellite recon photos to the Iraquis?" he asked with an almost wistful smile on his face.
"Yeah, I heard."
"Well ever since the trial I've had a lot of time to think and listen. There's not much else you can do while you're in here. What I hear is a bunch of men who blame everyone else for their being here. I said it myself and in a way, I believe it."
O'Neill slumped down in his chair and crossed his arms in front of chest. "Yeah well, you would."
Makepeace leaned forward. "Think about it. If it hadn't been you and Hammond in at the beginning ... if it'd been Maybourne and someone who thinks the way he does, it'd be you sitting here ... not me."
"Yeah right." Jack sat up. "Give me a break Makepeace. What did you want to talk to me about because if this is it then we don't have anything more to discuss and I can home."
"I want to give you the people that Maybourne answers to."
O'Neill tried to hide the shock he felt. //I want to give you the people that Maybourne answers to.// He knew it was what Moorman and Hammond had hoped, but was it going to be the truth? And he had to wonder why was Makepeace doing this? What did he have to gain or what did he think he had to gain from it?
"In exchange for what?"
"For my soul," he whispered.
~~fini