Title: Moonlit Tears (Chapter 1)
Genre: Song Fic Card Captor Sakura
Rating: This part? Eh… PG?
Notes: This one is to the song called Simon. Very pretty I think and in my opinion matches Yue. This is very angsty…
Warning: For all of you out there that love Clow paired with Yue, it ain't happening. O.o;; This fic will consist of Yue paired with another, can you guess? And the hint is, this is all non-yaoi. And the only hints of shounen ai are unrequited.
Disclaimer: None of the CCS characters are mine. *cries* What a shame too!
~ Catch your breath; hit the wall, scream out loud as you start to crawl, back in
Your cage the only place where they will leave you alone…
How funny. I had always believed that I was nothing more than a humorous conglomeration of what a mortal would call an angel. I must have missed something though. I could have sworn that angels were supposed to have feelings, and yet void of a soul. Isn't that how it is? I seem to have missed out on both. Or at least I hoped that's how things had come to be. Little did I know that hopes were a waste of time. I suppose I should be thankful to my creator for the care he put into my creation, but I find that I am lacking in my enthusiasm. Maybe that was my sin against him. Maybe that is why he showed me what feelings were and thrashed them down like they were nothing more than the ground beneath his feet.
Looking at my reflection I acknowledge the fact that I hold a beauty all to my own. I swear I am the embodiment of that white orb in the evening sky whence my name came from. I am the guardian of the moon. The moon and I are one and the same. Cold, unfeeling, level headed and seemingly uncaring of what happens beneath my vacant gaze. Perhaps people wonder if my eyes are vacant for some specific reason. If they asked me I wouldn't tell them anyways.
I have no use for mortals. I have no use for anyone but my master and my brother Keroberos. Even then, I feel I am set apart. I was never meant to be a part of this unsightly family. I was never meant to be happy. There… I said it. I, Yue, have no right to be happy. So why do I complain?
Because sometimes the pain of one's beginnings is enough to destroy a being for life, be the person mortal or not. As inhuman as I am, I still know what it feels like to be broken and blocked out of the world. Locked away in a gilded cage, the only safe place I know. Safe to scream, cry, hate, love, just feel… all in the confines of my mind. There I find my solace. Like the emperor's nightingale that was kept for it's beautiful voice and splendid beauty, never to know the freedom others know. I don't want to be looked at. I don't want the pitiful gazes of people saying they are sorry. Pity does nothing for me and I find that I just want to be alone. If only… I could be alone… Master Clow… Why?
~ 'Cause the weaker seek the weaker until they've broken them, could you get it back again?
Would it be the same?
Dark blue gray clouds drifted across the night sky occasionally blotting out the light from the stars and the moon as they crossed one another's paths now and again. The night air was chilled and heavy with humidity while in it's own subtle way, warned the inhabitants of the tiny city of London, that there would be a fog upon morning's light. The heaviness of the air was enough to choke the strongest of lungs, even if the beholder was not human at all. The large Victorian mansion silhouetted against the dark sky bore an eerie feel to onlookers, as they would quickly run by.
Upon the highest peak in the arched roof sat a slender form that shined like liquid silver in response to the light of the half moon in the sky. Pools of lavish silver white hair spilled over the coarsely shingled roof framing the still being in solid white garments. Extending gracefully from his back was two majestic wings of the purest white human eye had ever seen. Truly this being was a sight to see, and one would argue whether this were an angel, or the very persona of the brightly shining moon.
Clow knew better though. Standing not to far from his creation, he took great care in hiding his presence. A gentle hand moved to brush his dark ebony hair behind his ears, and then gracefully push his glasses back into place with a slender index finger. He knew that something was bothering his faithful guardian, but he dared not ask the solemn being what it was. Clow Reed himself feared what the answer may be.
From the creation of the guardian, Clow had raised him with the utmost care. He spared nothing when it came to his beloved guardians, but he'd never expected things to go beyond the relationship of a father to his child. Sighing softly, he lifted his eyes to the evening sky catching the sparkling of the stars within the depths of his indigo eyes. Finally looking back at Yue, he took careful steps in his direction careful not to step on the flowing robes of deep blue, black and gold.
"The moon is beautiful tonight is it not?" Yue looked up in surprise to see his master towering over him. Unbending his knees, he made an attempt to stand in respect, but was halted by a large slender hand on his shoulder. "Do not stand for me, Yue."
Clow smiled and sat beside his creation observing the young porcelain features that looked almost as smooth as blown glass. He had to admit that he did a marvelous job in making his guardian as beautiful as the moon itself if not more so. "Master… I'm sorry. Have I done something to displease you and bring you out after me this eve?"
The man chuckled richly while shaking his head. "Not at all Yue. I could just feel that you were up here, and I was wondering if I were missing out by not being here as well." It was a lie. He had come because of the questions and distress in the guardian's heart, but Yue was still naïve and didn't realize this.
"I see. Master… do I have feelings?" Yue looked at his master with widened eyes of silvered blue and silently persisted to question the man with his gaze.
"Well, isn't that something that you should decide for yourself?" Clow smiled in his knowing manner and looked up at the half moon in its pale brilliance.
Yue sighed and shook his head allowing the silvery strands of hair to fall into his catlike eyes. "Then… could you at least tell me if I have a soul?"
Taken aback by this question, Clow only laced his hands together upon his lap and sighed. "That is yet to be seen, Yue. You are still young. Extremely young, not even 15 yet am I right?"
Nodding slowly, the angel like creature knew that his master was right. He'd only existed now for about 15 years along with his younger brother, the sun guardian. Looking over at Clow he caught the sight of the older man shivering. "Master, the night is cold. You should go inside."
"I'm fine. Let's just stay up and look at the moon a bit longer. It seems to have a rather calming affect on me tonight." Unbeknownst to Clow, his words caused a faint blush to creep across the guardian's fine china countenance. Taking a deep breath, Yue unfurled his wings and cupped them about he and Clow, blocking the chill of the night air. "Thank you, Yue." With a gentle smile, the older once more looked to the sky too caught up in his thoughts to notice the young being staring solely at him.
~ Fulfillment to their lack of strength at your expense,
Left you with no defense, they tore it down
Yue walked slowly across the back yard of the Reed estate toward the sleeping figure beneath the cherry tree. Kneeling beside the lion like beast, he placed a cool hand on its brow. "Keroberos? Are you awake?"
The muscles in his body rippled as the cat responded to him in an edgy deep base. "I am now. What do you want, Yue?"
Sitting down on the cool grass in the shade, he slipped his bare feet through the moist grass. A light fog hung over the ground hazing one's vision slightly yet not enough to be a hindrance. He was used to it though. It was rather common in London. "I need to ask you something…"
"Oh?" A note of curiosity ebbed in the voice of the sun guardian as he rose from his spot on the grass to peer at his older brother. "What? No taunting from the ever cool and cruel guardian of the moon?"
It wasn't hard to see it in the others golden eyes, the mockery that spoke of jealousy and curiosity all at once. Though, beneath it all, Keroberos let Yue know in small ways that he cared for his older brother. After all, they were family no matter how distant Yue became. "Do… do you think… that… that…"
"C'mon Yue! Spit it out!" Keroberos smirked lightly and half growled and purred all at once. "It's not often that you ask my opinion and it's already catching my interest!"
Blinking, Yue chose to ignore the remark meant to fluster his cool demeanor. Besides, to become visibly flustered would be to crack the strong façade he had created to hide his heart from the world. "I think that… I'm… Master… Keroberos, do you think I'm capable of love?"
The lion's eyes widened to a point where Yue wondered if it were healthy. In moments, the large cat's golden wings burst into the air as he collapsed in laughter. "You… you have… got to be… joking!" Slowly calming himself, Keroberos, opened a solitaire eye to gaze at the wilting guardian of the moon. "Who could you possibly love? All you know is myself and…." Suddenly his face became serious as he sat on his haunches and looked at the angel like being whose eyes were down cast. "Yue… you don't mean that…"
"No…" Clenching his fists, Yue had to bite his lip to keep himself composed. "You have it all wrong, Keroberos." Standing swiftly, the moon guardian walked away in a flurry of silver white. "Forget I said anything at all."
Keroberos blinked his golden eyes a few times, and then looked up at the window leading into his master's study. There standing framed in its glass panes was the man in question. Clow met his eyes sadly and shook his head. Obviously Clow wasn't as dense as Keroberos had been when it came to Yue's feelings, and now it was his fault that his older brother was crushed. "I… I didn't… mean to hurt him…"
~ And I have felt the same as you, and I've felt the same, locked inside the only place where you feel sheltered, where you feel safe…
How long has it been since then? Keroberos sighed softly and looked at his older brother perched in the branches of the cherry tree. The golden eyes drifted to the snow like petals as they fell to the ground and covered it. The tree meant something to his master, though he didn't know why. He'd told Keroberos once that it was brought over from Japan and planted there at his request.
Clow was always an odd man. His master had quite the sense of humor, and as twisted as it was at times, it was humorous none-the-less. Smiling at this thought, he finally sat on his haunches and looked back up at the being of the moon. His silvery wings had been dispelled and his back was pressed solidly to the trunk of the tree, while his silver blue eyes were closed.
Today was special, though he couldn't remember why. Tilting his furred head to one side he knew that Yue was angry with him for not remembering whatever the day was. "You know Yue, you could spare us the mellow drama and just tell me… I'm sorry I forgot, but why pout about it?"
The moon guardian scowled then looked down at Keroberos with a vacant look in his eyes. "It doesn't matter. It wasn't important. I told you that earlier."
"Oh please, Yue. Get over it and tell me what it is! I can tell it's bothering you cause your going out of your way to avoid me unlike the normal where you just pretend I'm not here." Keroberos gave him a matter-of-fact look then twitched his tail impatiently.
Keroberos was right. Yue was upset even if his demeanor spoke otherwise. After all, this day should have been special to both of them… Right? Looking away slowly he choose to retain his cool air and just ignore the look of frustration on his younger brother's face. "Forget it."
Growling he turned away and stomped back up to the manor and into Clow's study not realizing that his master had been busy. Looking up calmly at his younger creation with inquisitive midnight blue eyes, he decided to pry into the matter. "Something bothering you, Keroberos?"
The lion looked up then bowed humbly while speaking rather quickly. "I'm so sorry, master! I didn't realize that you were working on the cards in here."
"It's fine, Keroberos. Tell me what is bothering you… Perhaps I could help." The man smiled slightly and brushed his long black hair back over his shoulders.
Sighing sadly, the lion looked up at him with wide eyes. "I've seemed to hurt Yue again. I don't mean to do that! Then when I apologize and try to make amends, he brushes me off in that cool manner of his like nothing ever bothered him in the first place! But I know…."
Clow laughed softly and beckoned for the confused creature to come to him. Sitting upon the floor, he allowed the beast to place his head in his lap. Scratching behind the animal's ears, he heard a deep purr emit from his large from. "Keroberos… Yue believes that he has no right to feelings… You must be patient with him. Someday he will come around and realize that isn't true. So, what happened today?"
"He's mad cause I don't remember what today is! What IS today, master?" Pleading eyes rose to Clow's as the purring ceased.
A small grin crossed the man's face as he shook his head. Closing his eyes he just sighed. "Oh Yue… I fear Keroberos… You weren't the only one to forget. Happy birthday my dear sun guardian. Remind me later to wish the same to Yue or I'll be in the doghouse as well."
Keroberos blinked then let out a soft chuckle. "Wow… No wonder he was stumped that I didn't remember." Smiling a Cheshire cat grin, Keroberos lighted his head back in his master's lap. "I wish he weren't so sad all of the time…"
"I fear… that is my fault…" Clow sighed and then looked out the window at the guardian perched in his favorite Sakura tree. "I never expected for him to fall in love with me…" He felt the lion heave a sad sigh as he followed the master's gaze.
"You don't feel the same, do you master?"
"No… I fear I do not. I love both of you as if you were my children… But he doesn't understand that. He also doesn't understand that it is no fault of his own…" Slightly flustered, the strong sorcerer resulted in shaking his head. "Must I be cold to him in order to make him realize that I will not return his love in that way?"
Keroberos looked at Clow sadly and then rubbed his head against the man's chest lovingly in order to bring a smile to his face. "Somehow Master, everything will work out. I promise. I'll keep an eye on Yue and try my best to take care of him… Master? When do you plan to tell him? About our sealing?"
Clow jumped feeling a bit startled at the question. "I don't know Keroberos… I wish I knew how… He's such a fragile creature… He'll be heartbroken…"
Both looked out the window sadly to the unknowing guardian of the moon. The fragile beauty was staring forlornly at the falling petals deep in thought. "I'm going to go wish him happy birthday. If you need me just call, master." Rubbing against Clow one last time, Keroberos disappeared out of the room.
"We've been together for over half of a century, Yue… Pretty soon we'll have to say goodbye. You are so beautiful. I created you to be so, but not for me. Someone else was meant to steal your heart. I'm sorry that I had to hurt you like this." Clow closed his eyes trying to deny the tears that fell anyways.
~ You lost yourself in your search to find something else to hide behind The fearful always preyed upon your confidence, did they see the consequence when they pushed you around…
Silver white strands threaded through the air like silk as the breeze tugged against Yue. With an unfeeling gaze he looked over the large countryside of a small town on the outskirts of London. Clow was on business again, and was allowed to bring the two guardians along. The strange fact remained that the host had insisted that Master Reed bring them along. The guardian puzzled over this for a moment then let out a long sigh betraying his heart.
Closing his eyes, he enjoyed the open space that he was granted now. It wasn't often that he was allowed away from the Reed estate with the feeling of complete freedom. The light sapphire sky overhead seemed to hold a deeper shade than normal almost pleading with him to dance before it's amazing backdrop of blue and white. Hesitating he glanced about to see Clow arguing with Keroberos over something totally oblivious to anything else. Yue envied the lion. Even though Clow normally fussed at him about various behaviors, at least he paid attention to the sun guardian. In Yue's case, he was always left to be alone.
Perhaps I was meant to be alone… With one more longing look at the one he loved, he looked away only to catch sight of the host staring at him placidly with a small smile. As warm as the look seemed, it made Yue quiver in some emotion he refused to acknowledge. From what he knew of the raven-haired man with amethyst eyes, he was supposedly amiable and pleasant to be around. Then why was he having this strange eerie feeling?
Orrin Evenstar was a strong magician that rarely stepped foot off of his estate. Clow seemed to enjoy his company and frequently made trips to see the man and discuss their magic and future prospects. In a way, Yue loathed him from the jealousy he felt, but due to his master, he was kind enough to the man with impeccable manners.
As he continued to think on the matter, he hadn't noticed that Orrin had moved toward him and was now standing silently before him with sparkling violet eyes. A cool smile swept over his face as he pushed his shoulder length ebony hair behind his ears. "You are Yue, am I correct?"
It took all of his strength and will not to jump at the softly spoken words of the man before him. He hadn't even heard his approach, which flustered him beyond all meaning. "That is correct, Sir Evenstar."
The man arched a brow in amusement before turning to look at Clow and Keroberos fighting the urge to laugh at one another's stubbornness. "Please, I would like you to call me Orrin. I have no use for respectful titles." Yue began to shiver at the soft tenor's voice as amethyst peered at him from the corner of his eyes. "You envy the sun guardian, do you not?"
The moon guardian blinked then looked away while closing his eyes. "What does that matter to you? I am my master's guardian, is it not my duty to care for him?"
"Ah yes… but is there a limit to how much you should care?" A carefully placed smirk spread over the magician's lips as he looked back at the beautiful angel like being. "Dear Yue, could it be that you care beyond the limits that are set for a guardian? I fear from the look of you that I am correct, and the worst part is… The beloved master does not return the feelings being shown. Ah, unrequited love! How tragic it is. My deepest sympathy to you."
In surprise, Yue gaped at the warm yet sympathetic look on the man's face. For some reason, he read straight through the carefully placed façade of stoicism into his torrent heart. How could that be? Did he not try desperately to hide from the world and prying eyes? "Even if that were true I would not give anyone the pleasure of knowing it."
Orrin allowed a look of hurt to touch his appearance as he shook his head in a sad manner. "Perhaps you misunderstand me. I find no pleasure in the pain you are feeling. I regret that you must feel such a horrid feeling. Forgive my impertinence."
Wide cat eyes of silver blue gazed upon the man that stood just at his height as he smiled sadly. For a moment, he swore he saw a glint in the man's eyes that caused him to shiver, but the feeling passed as soon as it faded away. "You have nothing to be forgiven of. You are my master's friend; therefore I am bound to treat you with respect. Please do not worry your self in my troubles. It is nothing but a mere waste of time."
The magician knew that Yue was breaking with every kind word that he allowed to slip through his thin lips. Like Clow, Orrin was rather handsome, looks never once betraying his true age. True, he was younger than the powerful Clow Reed, but in time he would be strong enough to take the man on personally. "Alas, it is not, my dear Yue. How master Reed could ever overlook such a beautiful creature as yourself is truly beyond me."
Yue blinked in surprise feeling something in his heart twist in yearning. "I…I'm… beautiful?"
"Oh Lord! You mean to tell me that no one has told you this before?" Yue shook his head forlornly, sadness slowly ebbing into his facial features. Orrin merely smiled and looked up at Keroberos and Clow quite intent on rubbing the guardian's ill fortune in his face under the guise of kindness. "To think that you master would care more for a mere lion when he could spend all of his time with a true angel. I apologize on his behalf, Yue!"
Looking at the man with confusion, he took in the kind words, as a dry sponge would soak up water. Orrin smiled lightly and allowed a hand to softly graze the guardian's cool cheek and brush his long bangs from his eyes. "Si—Orrin… do you really believe that?"
"I do…" He wasn't completely lying. He indeed thought that Yue was beyond any words defining beauty, but his kindness bore a hidden agenda that the moon being wasn't aware of.
"Thank you…" Blushing lightly, Orrin only smiled into the suddenly child-like expression.
"It is my pleasure Yue… If you need anything, please feel free to ask." Yes Yue… come to me and find comfort and soon you will be under my control… and then Clow… I will be one step closer to destroying you and all you stand for… Goodness indeed… You're finished.
~ The arrogant build kingdoms made of different ones,
Breaking them 'til they've just become another crown…
Clow watched Yue as he gazed curiously at the Lordship Evenstar with something dancing in his eyes. Perhaps a crush? But why would Orrin show interest in a mere guardian when every Lady, Duchess, and Princess would sell their souls in order to have his heart? It puzzled the sorcerer to no end causing him to stare blankly into the fireplace.
Orrin smiled, pretending not to notice the curious eyes of Yue as he peered at his so called friend. He'd come to visit Clow for a change and was thrilled to see the results from his encounter with the moon guardian. Slowly slipping into Clow's mind he read bits of his thoughts and just smiled. "Now Master Reed, how could you call such a beautiful being a 'mere' guardian."
Looking up in surprise not expecting the younger mage to be able to read into his thoughts. Yue looked up with hurt in his eyes. From the surprise in his master's midnight eyes he knew what Orrin had said was true. "I…If you'll excuse me…" Yue got up quickly and vanished through the window leading out onto the balcony.
This reaction pleased Orrin beyond all means. "You should be more considerate of his feelings, Clow."
"He would have been fine had you left my thoughts out of the conversation." Clow looked at him mildly displeased. "What is your intent Orrin? What gain is there in trying to place a wedge between Yue and myself?"
"Why would I do a thing like that Clow? I merely give him the respect he deserves." The man with violet eyes smirked lightly. "Being that you don't return his love, what does it matter to you where my interest lie?"
"That maybe true, but he is still MY guardian and I have a right to know what you are up to." Clow glared at the man angrily as the amethyst eyes seemed to laugh at him.
"Now you are treating him as nothing more than a mere possession. Is that good for him, Clow?" Back turned to the window, he knew that Yue was still listening. Giving the all-powerful Clow Reed another playful smile he leaned toward him and whispered. "You should be more careful in the future. Yue heard what you just said…"
Looking flustered, the man with long blue tinted raven hair stood up and walked briskly over to the balcony. As he exited he found Yue with his back turned to him peering up at the night sky. "Yue… I'm…"
"It's nothing master. I do not care." Yue spread his wings and lifted off into the night sky not seeing the distressed look on Clow's handsome face. Just behind him, Orrin smiled lightly quite pleased with his work so far.
"I'll talk to him…" Clow turned to argue, but Orrin had already disappeared in a swirl of deep gray mist. Orrin appeared on the roof to see the trembling figure sitting up on the highest peak. Approaching him, he kneeled beside him and caressed the guardian's silken hair. "Shh… He didn't mean to hurt you Yue… Are you all right?"
Yue looked up with wavering eyes and couldn't fight off the emotions any longer. "What's so wrong with me that Master Clow can't find it in his heart to love me?" Tears began to trail down his cheeks in steady streams. "Am I so horrid?"
Suddenly Orrin felt his heart sink. Maybe this had been a rather cruel idea after all. Sighing softly he hugged the trembling angel to him. "No… You are far from that, my dear Yue. I wish it were possible to change his heart… If I could I would… He's truly missing out." Oddly enough, the amethyst-eyed mage meant the words with all of his heart. The plan was becoming disrupted by the minute as he held the shivering form close to him. "I swear to you… someday you will find great happiness…"
Yue didn't seem to hear his words as he continued to cry. But Orrin would remember his promise. He would punish Clow for this inhumane act no matter how menial the problem may seem to others. He had fallen for the angel in his arms, and the power he had so desperately sought meant nothing to him now. Closing his eyes, he began a curse that slowly began to seep his life from his very being. It was a spell that would take both his life and Clow's very soon, and when they are reborn in different forms, he would take on Clow once more. But in that case, Yue would never have to know that he had killed his beloved master, and that he was not truly the loving person the guardian saw him to be. I swear… you will be happy…
~ Refuse to feel anything at all, refuse to slip
Refuse to fall, can't be weak, can't stand still…
"What do you mean Lord Evenstar is dying?" Yue nearly yelled the question at his unmoving master. "He seemed fine not even a month ago…"
"I don't understand it myself Yue… It would seem that he has used some spell that continues to sap his energy from him… It will eventually kill him." Clow sighed softly causing his paling form to look thinner than usual striking unseen fear within Yue.
First he finds that Orrin was dying; now he had a strange suspicion that his beloved master was dying as well. Clenching his fists he refused to let the emotions touch his outer appearance. Clow began to cough vehemently making Yue wince internally. "Master… are you… sick?"
Clow merely smiled and reached out to run his fingers through Yue's floor length silver white hair. "Maybe…" The man smiled even more at the shock that flashed in Yue's eyes. He'd never shown the moon guardian any physical affection since he'd been small. "Now my dear moon angel, I must tell you something that I know you will not want to hear…"
Torn between joy and agony, Yue continued to look at his master with apathy in his repose. "What is it?"
"I'm dying as well… I have to seal both you and Keroberos away with the cards… One day you will find another master to care for you…" Before he could finish, Yue jerked away from Clow and backed toward the window with wide eyes.
Cursing himself for his display of emotions, he managed to give Clow another vacant gaze. "I see… You don't want us hindering you any longer. That's fine… There's no need to lie to me master." Closing his eyes, he turned away and flew out through the window.
Clow let out a strangled cry, but was hindered by another bout of coughing. "Yue… I… never meant to hurt you like this…" Wiping the tears away he looked to the door. "Are you ready Keroberos?"
The golden head peered through the door and nodded slowly. "As you wish master."
~ You watch your back, 'cause no one will, you don't know why…
They had to go this far…
Yue relaxed in the comforting darkness only thankful that he hadn't had to be there when Orrin had died. He was sad that a man that was so handsome and strong would have to die from a spell that went wrong. Hadn't Orrin been smarter than that? He didn't see how the mage could have gone wrong.
Sighing in his deep slumber, he felt the cold infringing around his heart. Had Clow really been dying? Or was it just a way to get Yue and Keroberos to agree to be sealed? Keroberos… His little brother must be sleeping and dreaming blissfully on his end of the Book of Clow. In a way he missed the enthusiastic guardian always trying to make him smile. He'd never understood that Yue had vowed never to smile unless it was for Clow.
Feeling the ache in his heart he recalled the words Orrin had uttered to him the last time they had seen one another. Some promises… were meant to be broken… where others are strong enough to outlast eternity… Where do our promises lie? Trembling, he tried to choke back the surge of emotions pent up in his heart. The last thing Yue wanted was to alarm Keroberos of his fitful sleep.
How long had he been sleeping? Of that he wasn't sure, but he would much rather be left to his introverted thoughts than be awake to face humanity once more. The last thing he wanted was to be presented with the foul foolish mortals and their stupid emotions. Sneering slightly he tried to forget everything that was hurting him. In time, the darkness swallowed his mind and he slept on in blissful silence safe from the world of chaos with one last thought in his mind. Why I had to be hurt I will never know… but in this comforting solitude… all I have to worry about is myself… cause in the end, the only one who can take care of you is yourself…
~ Traded your worth for these scars, for your only company
Don't believe the lies that they told to you…
Oh please no… The blistering feeling of the Clow cards awakening rustled Yue from his sleep. Letting out a labored sigh, he allowed his former master's magic to slowly encase him and waft through him. He was slowly being formed into his false form. Apathetic to the world he closed his eyes pretending not to care one way or the other what would happen next.
As the day went by he wondered what the point of his awakening was. Through the eyes of his false form, he uncaringly looked at the world. Perfectly aware of the boy's thoughts he was able to gather all the information he cared to know. He was in Japan, and his human form's name was Tsukishiro Yukito. How appropriate… But why in God's name did Clow have to make him such a sissy?
Grumbling to himself he felt the urge to just sleep in the back of the boy's mind and just ignore the job he was chosen to carry out until something caught his attention. Yukito was speaking to a couple of siblings making friends with them. Looking through the boy's hazel eyes he observed the boy with dark almost black hair. His name was Kinomoto Touya and they were both the same age.
Rolling his eyes, he realized that there was nothing of importance coming from the boy then looked to the younger sibling. There was the young Kinomoto Sakura. Sakura… Cherry blossom… Clow liked cherry blossoms… Thinking on the beautiful tree on the Reed estate he allowed a sigh to escape his lips. It was definitely the girl that had sparked his interest, but he felt it better just to ignore it altogether. Closing his eyes he managed to force himself to sleep.
As time went by, he began to enjoy trying to interpret Yukito's emotions, which seemed more jumbled than his own. At times he believed that the silver haired boy was in love with Touya, then others he believed it to be Sakura, even the girls friends called Syaoran and Tomoyo. Though, in the end, Yue decided that Yukito just loved everyone. Smirking at this thought he looked through the boy's eyes once more to see Sakura with a yellow stuffed animal in her arms. Gasping he focused in on the creature and fought off the urge to smile. The mighty sun guardian Keroberos had been forced to be nothing more than a mere plush toy.
Closing his eyes he felt relieved to see that his younger brother was well, but upset in a way. Was this the girl he'd have to pass judgment on? How sad… I was actually starting to like her…
Judgment indeed came before the moon guardian was even able to decide what he thought of the small child. She was pretty with her chestnut brown hair that almost seemed like a honey blonde and brilliant emerald eyes that rivaled the brightest of gemstones. Even though his heart denied it, he knew she was the one. It was happening all over again, another master, and yet another life of pain.
"I don't want to be your mistress. I want to be your friend." Did he hear her correctly? Maybe it wouldn't be the same, but he wasn't about to let her know how he felt. Friends… Shaking his head at the thought he looked up at the moon and sighed while she wasn't paying attention. Looking at Keroberos, he caught the look of worry on his feline face.
Speaking into his mind he heard the animal's gentle yet cheery voice reverberate in his heart. "You'll be fine, Yue… In time… You'll heal… just as I will… You aren't alone anymore."
~ Not one word was true… you're all right…
You're all right…
TBC…