From Here To Eternity: The Road to Redemption, The Second Step
Part 9
All disclaimers can be found in Part 0
***
O'Neill knocked on the door to Makepeace's hospital room before walking inside. The first thing he noticed was that the bed was empty. There wasn't any sign of Makepeace anywhere in the room, not even the bathroom whose door was standing open. He frowned and walked back out down to the nurse's station. A young, female lieutenant was the only person there.
"Excuse me, Lieutenant," said O'Neill. "Do you know where the patient in room 206 is?"
The lieutenant consulted a chart that was out of O'Neill's line of sight. "He's in radiology. Should be back any minute now."
"Thank you," O'Neill said giving her his best smile.
Whether or not she appreciated it, O'Neill couldn't tell. She just smiled back, saying, "You're welcome, sir," and went back to reading the chart she had been looking at before O'Neill interrupted her. He shrugged and walked back down to Makepeace's room to wait.
A few minutes later Makepeace arrived pushed in a wheelchair by an Airman who helped him get back into bed, then left the room taking the wheelchair with him. O'Neill watched all of this and then rose to shut the door that had been left open. Turning back to the man in the bed he said, "Hello Makepeace. You wanted to see me?"
"Yeah, I did."
O'Neill nodded. "Here I am."
"I noticed. Why don't you sit down, Jack ... sorry Colonel," he amended.
O'Neill took the chair he had been sitting in and moved it closer to the bed before seating himself. "What did you want?"
Makepeace stared at O'Neill for a few moments. His eyes went from the gauze on O'Neill's head to the wrapping on his hand. "You know Colonel. I really don't know why I had to see you again. Maybe I just needed to know that you'd made it."
O'Neill shook his head. "Don't buy it. You knew that my team and I made it when you came to at the infirmary."
"All right Colonel. You tell me then. You're giving off the impression that you know why I asked to see you," said Makepeace.
O'Neill sat forward in the chair, elbows on his knees, hands clasped in front of him. Looking into Makepeace's eyes he said, "You asked to see me to give me the answer to the question I want to ask you."
Makepeace nodded, a ghost of a smile crossed his features. "You know as different as our philosophies have been in the past, we're still the same. I did it because I had to do it. It was the right thing to do and you would have done the same for me even if you didn't know it then. I think you know it now."
O'Neill continued to meet Makepeace's gaze.
"Jack. You got a second chance at life when the Stargate program began. You know that. Everybody at the SGC knows that. Everybody knows about Charlie ... about your son. No one says anything because it's personal and everyone respects that. It was a tragedy ... the worst day in your life and yet you turned it around. You came back and you came back stronger than ever.
"The worst day in my life was when you placed those wrist restraints on me and I knew that my life was over ... that I'd sold my soul to Maybourne and Castor to end up locked up for the rest of my life. I was a hateful, bitter man for a long time. I hated Maybourne. I hated you for catching me. I hated the judge for putting me in prison. I hated everyone involved. But the one person I should have hated, I didn't."
"You," whispered O'Neill not taking his eyes off of Makepeace's.
"Yeah, me. Then one night I had a dream. I dreamed about your son ... don't ask me why but I did. He told me about a camping trip you all took one summer when he was six. You taught him how to fish and how you always had to put the worm on the hook for him. He told me about the first fish he caught that summer ... a trout about four inches long ... and how proud he was when you took it and explained to him about how he had to let it go. You didn't tell him it was because it was too little. That would have disappointed him. You told him instead about how precious life was ... even the life of a four inch trout ... and that all life was to be respected. And you handed him the fish and let him put it back."
O'Neill felt a chill go down the back of his spine when Makepeace mentioned the camping trip, yet for some reason he wasn't shocked. "It's true. We did go camping when Charlie was six. We did go fishing and he did catch that trout," O'Neill whispered.
Makepeace nodded. "Naturally I didn't want to believe that your son was talking to me in a dream. I'm a grown man ... a realist just like you but there was something that just kept nagging at me and it wouldn't let me be. There was a lot about that dream that I didn't remember ... at first."
"But you eventually did," O'Neill stated.
"Uhm, hm. And it really didn't have anything to do with me at all, nor you either for that matter. It was mostly just that of a boy talking to someone who was willing to listen ... telling me about his life ... his impressions of what life was ... what living was. And it came to me that what he was telling me was what my life wasn't and why I made the choices I did. I don't remember when it happened, but one day I gave up on life. I went through the motions, but only because it was expected of me and I never did anything that wasn't expected of me. You know after we rescued you on Hathor's planet, that's when a lot of this started. I started to hate you and your team."
"You saved our butts and we got all the attention," said O'Neill.
"Yeah. I found the information that freed you. I led the team that freed you. Shit, I lost most of my men that night but who got the heroes' return. You."
"I, uh, should have ..."
"No, it wasn't you ... it was just the catalyst. When Maybourne came to me, I was ready. And when I agreed to work for him, I sold my soul to the devil."
"Have you got it back now? Now that you saved my life ... again."
Makepeace shook his head in the negative. "Not yet."
O'Neill nodded. "I had a dream last night, too ... about Charlie. He talked to me. He told me that I wouldn't ever have the answer to what my life was worth until I forgave you. I didn't understand then. I just knew he was right and now I know. I know what my life is worth now."
Makepeace slowly closed his eyes and leaned back into his pillow. O'Neill watched and when Makepeace didn't move, he thought that he might have fallen asleep. Quietly he stood and put the chair back where he had found it. He started to leave the room but before his hand reached the door knob he heard, "Thank you, Jack."
O'Neill didn't turn. "Thank you," he answered. Then he quietly opened the door and left.
***
The End
Part 9
All disclaimers can be found in Part 0
***
O'Neill knocked on the door to Makepeace's hospital room before walking inside. The first thing he noticed was that the bed was empty. There wasn't any sign of Makepeace anywhere in the room, not even the bathroom whose door was standing open. He frowned and walked back out down to the nurse's station. A young, female lieutenant was the only person there.
"Excuse me, Lieutenant," said O'Neill. "Do you know where the patient in room 206 is?"
The lieutenant consulted a chart that was out of O'Neill's line of sight. "He's in radiology. Should be back any minute now."
"Thank you," O'Neill said giving her his best smile.
Whether or not she appreciated it, O'Neill couldn't tell. She just smiled back, saying, "You're welcome, sir," and went back to reading the chart she had been looking at before O'Neill interrupted her. He shrugged and walked back down to Makepeace's room to wait.
A few minutes later Makepeace arrived pushed in a wheelchair by an Airman who helped him get back into bed, then left the room taking the wheelchair with him. O'Neill watched all of this and then rose to shut the door that had been left open. Turning back to the man in the bed he said, "Hello Makepeace. You wanted to see me?"
"Yeah, I did."
O'Neill nodded. "Here I am."
"I noticed. Why don't you sit down, Jack ... sorry Colonel," he amended.
O'Neill took the chair he had been sitting in and moved it closer to the bed before seating himself. "What did you want?"
Makepeace stared at O'Neill for a few moments. His eyes went from the gauze on O'Neill's head to the wrapping on his hand. "You know Colonel. I really don't know why I had to see you again. Maybe I just needed to know that you'd made it."
O'Neill shook his head. "Don't buy it. You knew that my team and I made it when you came to at the infirmary."
"All right Colonel. You tell me then. You're giving off the impression that you know why I asked to see you," said Makepeace.
O'Neill sat forward in the chair, elbows on his knees, hands clasped in front of him. Looking into Makepeace's eyes he said, "You asked to see me to give me the answer to the question I want to ask you."
Makepeace nodded, a ghost of a smile crossed his features. "You know as different as our philosophies have been in the past, we're still the same. I did it because I had to do it. It was the right thing to do and you would have done the same for me even if you didn't know it then. I think you know it now."
O'Neill continued to meet Makepeace's gaze.
"Jack. You got a second chance at life when the Stargate program began. You know that. Everybody at the SGC knows that. Everybody knows about Charlie ... about your son. No one says anything because it's personal and everyone respects that. It was a tragedy ... the worst day in your life and yet you turned it around. You came back and you came back stronger than ever.
"The worst day in my life was when you placed those wrist restraints on me and I knew that my life was over ... that I'd sold my soul to Maybourne and Castor to end up locked up for the rest of my life. I was a hateful, bitter man for a long time. I hated Maybourne. I hated you for catching me. I hated the judge for putting me in prison. I hated everyone involved. But the one person I should have hated, I didn't."
"You," whispered O'Neill not taking his eyes off of Makepeace's.
"Yeah, me. Then one night I had a dream. I dreamed about your son ... don't ask me why but I did. He told me about a camping trip you all took one summer when he was six. You taught him how to fish and how you always had to put the worm on the hook for him. He told me about the first fish he caught that summer ... a trout about four inches long ... and how proud he was when you took it and explained to him about how he had to let it go. You didn't tell him it was because it was too little. That would have disappointed him. You told him instead about how precious life was ... even the life of a four inch trout ... and that all life was to be respected. And you handed him the fish and let him put it back."
O'Neill felt a chill go down the back of his spine when Makepeace mentioned the camping trip, yet for some reason he wasn't shocked. "It's true. We did go camping when Charlie was six. We did go fishing and he did catch that trout," O'Neill whispered.
Makepeace nodded. "Naturally I didn't want to believe that your son was talking to me in a dream. I'm a grown man ... a realist just like you but there was something that just kept nagging at me and it wouldn't let me be. There was a lot about that dream that I didn't remember ... at first."
"But you eventually did," O'Neill stated.
"Uhm, hm. And it really didn't have anything to do with me at all, nor you either for that matter. It was mostly just that of a boy talking to someone who was willing to listen ... telling me about his life ... his impressions of what life was ... what living was. And it came to me that what he was telling me was what my life wasn't and why I made the choices I did. I don't remember when it happened, but one day I gave up on life. I went through the motions, but only because it was expected of me and I never did anything that wasn't expected of me. You know after we rescued you on Hathor's planet, that's when a lot of this started. I started to hate you and your team."
"You saved our butts and we got all the attention," said O'Neill.
"Yeah. I found the information that freed you. I led the team that freed you. Shit, I lost most of my men that night but who got the heroes' return. You."
"I, uh, should have ..."
"No, it wasn't you ... it was just the catalyst. When Maybourne came to me, I was ready. And when I agreed to work for him, I sold my soul to the devil."
"Have you got it back now? Now that you saved my life ... again."
Makepeace shook his head in the negative. "Not yet."
O'Neill nodded. "I had a dream last night, too ... about Charlie. He talked to me. He told me that I wouldn't ever have the answer to what my life was worth until I forgave you. I didn't understand then. I just knew he was right and now I know. I know what my life is worth now."
Makepeace slowly closed his eyes and leaned back into his pillow. O'Neill watched and when Makepeace didn't move, he thought that he might have fallen asleep. Quietly he stood and put the chair back where he had found it. He started to leave the room but before his hand reached the door knob he heard, "Thank you, Jack."
O'Neill didn't turn. "Thank you," he answered. Then he quietly opened the door and left.
***
The End