COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
All rights and privileges to Houshin Engi belong to Ryu
Fujisaki, JUMP Comics; Shueisha Inc., and TV Tokyo. Characters
from HE are used without permission for the purpose of
entertainment only. This work of fanfiction is not meant for
commercial use. No infringements of rights are intended.
In other words - please don't sue me, shi NEEDs her
allowance to buy HE merchandise and make you guys rich!
****************************************************************
III. INSIDE LOOKING OUT
by Kotoshin, aka Shioru Sutherlands
****************************************************************
"If you wear a mask consistently for long,
the mask will gain a life of its own."
================================================================
... helpless ....
Drifting, unwilling to think - and unable to. There was
nothing to think about, nothing to contemplate or stimulate the
mind. There was no light, no sound, no /sensation/.
Nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to touch - not
even the barest hint that would give feeble substance to the
faint wisps of memories and dreams. Just ... oblivion.
.... oblivion?
No, not quite. There was awareness, albeit only the
bare bones of consciousness. A consciousness conscious of its
being wrapped in the anonymous coccoon of oblivious bliss.
... bliss?
... what ...
Stirring. Something - something, there, at the edge of
vision, if there was anything to see. A background buzz if there
was noise. The light brush of mist and dew -
... what is ...
... what is it ...
- over skin and condescending into cool fingers.
... who ...
Feeble struggles to wake, flailing and failing. Hands
clench, breathing hastens, and lashes flutter, the eyes attempt
to open -
"... you belong here."
Surprised, the voice. Strain to hear, to reach out and
grasp the hand -
... who are you?
... who are -
Pain.
:FLASH:
Remembered pain.
:FLASH:
Pain that was more than one could bear, shattering pain
that was forced into smaller, broken pieces else it could not be
contained. No one can hold such pain were it whole.
:FLASH:
Wide awake and eyes unseeing, too aware of the pain. Too
aware of the encompassing void - the nothingness with no escape,
no door or threshold to cross, the place of many blindly groping
in the dark. Futile the effort, draining the movement, and the
final stillness resumes its customary place.
... who am I? .....
================================================================
He woke. He woke, and panicked.
/Who am I?/
He remembered nothing. Only the fire that burned the
darkness away, only the screams which drowned out the night, and
the flood of blood that washed away the faces and the places.
/Who am I?/
That was all he remembered.
That and - love. He had been loved. Nothing else could
leave that kind of raw, bleeding pain inside.
/Who am I?/
Flailing, arms tried to grab hold - tried to grab hold
of someone who could answer his question.
Anyone.
Anyone at all.
... anyone?
================================================================
He smiled, having learned to smile.
"... the child has potential ..."
"... of course, for Genshitenson-sama to choose ..."
"... and the other one from the student body?"
"... an honor, to be chosen to be Genshi-sama's pupil."
Agreement all around.
Most doushi in Konron were required to serve
apprenticeships, not affliated to any Master Sennin, for the
first decade of their studies. They did all the manual labour -
cooked, washed, and cleaned for senior sendou - and were still
expected to keep up with all the mandatory classes.
Most doushi without a master had no time to call their
own, their days consisting of tending the gardens of herbs and
rare plants, chopping wood, fetching water, and dusting. A lot
of dusting.
The exceptions - those doushi who followed a Sennin
Master - had the choice of leisure and/or self-study. They
were encouraged to such duties, especially for their own
Master, but they were not required if their Masters did not
demand them.
He smiled, for that was what he wanted. There was so
much to learn - so much, and almost enough to make him forget
the void. The void that was an empty, aching pang within him.
The void in which he lost himself - even his name.
/... but I have a 'name' .../
A name, given to those who pursued the path - to
become one of the sennin -
"... we'll see. You all know that how Genshi-sama ..."
"Yes, if they're not worthy, they can be demoted back to
the ranks just as easily ..."
"... there is that missing slot for the Twelve, you
don't suppose Genshitenson-sama ...?"
"... grooming one of them? Perhaps, he's been ..."
- to become one of the sennin - and it was a purpose,
now, a reason of being. Even in the scant days he had been here,
he had found the learning environment suited him as the air
would a bird's wings.
/... there is so much to /know/, to learn .../
It filled the void.
Almost.
"Hey, you the other new kid?"
Bright green, one eye winked cheerfully at him, ignoring
the ongoing lecture of the aging Master. One hand pushed back
messy auburn bangs.
"Hai," he smiled back, uncertainly.
"Great! I was beginning to think that everyone here were,
you know, /adults/ or something."
Standing behind the tall frame of his white-haired
Master, he listened to the murmurs of conversation about the
stone halls.
"Say - what's your name? I'm Taikoubou."
"Yoroshiku ... boku wa Fuugen desu. ^_^"
- end -
================================================================
minor bits of babble:
Brain is ... dead.
Exams next week.
And the week after, which is /supposed/ to be the break in
between summer terms ....
Shi is to go to do Jury Panel duty as a good little citizen.
Someone shoot shi now. ._.;
================================================================
Last Modified: June 18, 2001 3:34PM
================================================================
All rights and privileges to Houshin Engi belong to Ryu
Fujisaki, JUMP Comics; Shueisha Inc., and TV Tokyo. Characters
from HE are used without permission for the purpose of
entertainment only. This work of fanfiction is not meant for
commercial use. No infringements of rights are intended.
In other words - please don't sue me, shi NEEDs her
allowance to buy HE merchandise and make you guys rich!
****************************************************************
III. INSIDE LOOKING OUT
by Kotoshin, aka Shioru Sutherlands
****************************************************************
"If you wear a mask consistently for long,
the mask will gain a life of its own."
================================================================
... helpless ....
Drifting, unwilling to think - and unable to. There was
nothing to think about, nothing to contemplate or stimulate the
mind. There was no light, no sound, no /sensation/.
Nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to touch - not
even the barest hint that would give feeble substance to the
faint wisps of memories and dreams. Just ... oblivion.
.... oblivion?
No, not quite. There was awareness, albeit only the
bare bones of consciousness. A consciousness conscious of its
being wrapped in the anonymous coccoon of oblivious bliss.
... bliss?
... what ...
Stirring. Something - something, there, at the edge of
vision, if there was anything to see. A background buzz if there
was noise. The light brush of mist and dew -
... what is ...
... what is it ...
- over skin and condescending into cool fingers.
... who ...
Feeble struggles to wake, flailing and failing. Hands
clench, breathing hastens, and lashes flutter, the eyes attempt
to open -
"... you belong here."
Surprised, the voice. Strain to hear, to reach out and
grasp the hand -
... who are you?
... who are -
Pain.
:FLASH:
Remembered pain.
:FLASH:
Pain that was more than one could bear, shattering pain
that was forced into smaller, broken pieces else it could not be
contained. No one can hold such pain were it whole.
:FLASH:
Wide awake and eyes unseeing, too aware of the pain. Too
aware of the encompassing void - the nothingness with no escape,
no door or threshold to cross, the place of many blindly groping
in the dark. Futile the effort, draining the movement, and the
final stillness resumes its customary place.
... who am I? .....
================================================================
He woke. He woke, and panicked.
/Who am I?/
He remembered nothing. Only the fire that burned the
darkness away, only the screams which drowned out the night, and
the flood of blood that washed away the faces and the places.
/Who am I?/
That was all he remembered.
That and - love. He had been loved. Nothing else could
leave that kind of raw, bleeding pain inside.
/Who am I?/
Flailing, arms tried to grab hold - tried to grab hold
of someone who could answer his question.
Anyone.
Anyone at all.
... anyone?
================================================================
He smiled, having learned to smile.
"... the child has potential ..."
"... of course, for Genshitenson-sama to choose ..."
"... and the other one from the student body?"
"... an honor, to be chosen to be Genshi-sama's pupil."
Agreement all around.
Most doushi in Konron were required to serve
apprenticeships, not affliated to any Master Sennin, for the
first decade of their studies. They did all the manual labour -
cooked, washed, and cleaned for senior sendou - and were still
expected to keep up with all the mandatory classes.
Most doushi without a master had no time to call their
own, their days consisting of tending the gardens of herbs and
rare plants, chopping wood, fetching water, and dusting. A lot
of dusting.
The exceptions - those doushi who followed a Sennin
Master - had the choice of leisure and/or self-study. They
were encouraged to such duties, especially for their own
Master, but they were not required if their Masters did not
demand them.
He smiled, for that was what he wanted. There was so
much to learn - so much, and almost enough to make him forget
the void. The void that was an empty, aching pang within him.
The void in which he lost himself - even his name.
/... but I have a 'name' .../
A name, given to those who pursued the path - to
become one of the sennin -
"... we'll see. You all know that how Genshi-sama ..."
"Yes, if they're not worthy, they can be demoted back to
the ranks just as easily ..."
"... there is that missing slot for the Twelve, you
don't suppose Genshitenson-sama ...?"
"... grooming one of them? Perhaps, he's been ..."
- to become one of the sennin - and it was a purpose,
now, a reason of being. Even in the scant days he had been here,
he had found the learning environment suited him as the air
would a bird's wings.
/... there is so much to /know/, to learn .../
It filled the void.
Almost.
"Hey, you the other new kid?"
Bright green, one eye winked cheerfully at him, ignoring
the ongoing lecture of the aging Master. One hand pushed back
messy auburn bangs.
"Hai," he smiled back, uncertainly.
"Great! I was beginning to think that everyone here were,
you know, /adults/ or something."
Standing behind the tall frame of his white-haired
Master, he listened to the murmurs of conversation about the
stone halls.
"Say - what's your name? I'm Taikoubou."
"Yoroshiku ... boku wa Fuugen desu. ^_^"
- end -
================================================================
minor bits of babble:
Brain is ... dead.
Exams next week.
And the week after, which is /supposed/ to be the break in
between summer terms ....
Shi is to go to do Jury Panel duty as a good little citizen.
Someone shoot shi now. ._.;
================================================================
Last Modified: June 18, 2001 3:34PM
================================================================