Recollections of Days Gone By

Disclaimer: Digimon and all associated characters do not belong to be. I own nothing, nothing! However, if Tolei is willing to sell…I am so there! Then I wouldn't have to have a stupid disclaimer… I also don't own Nsync's song 'Gone'.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who's reviewed Playing the Part. Here's a new Sorato to keep you guys going! I have to explain a few things before I get started though, so please bear with me.

Okay, this fic is what I like to call a multi-flashback songfic. Only the first and last chapters are happening in 'real-time', all the other chapters are memories or flashbacks. Also, each chapter is going to be based on a song. Hence you get the name. If you have any questions, feel free to email me. Also, this fic is probably going to be quite different from Playing the Part, more angst and drama and a lot less humour. Also, I'm not promising a happy ending. With that said, on with the fic!

Oh yeah, in the fic, all the Sora and Yamato are 18…work out everyone else's ages from that…lol 

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Prologue: Gone

~ There's a thousand words that I could say

To make you come home, yeah

Seems so long ago you walked away

And left me alone

And I remember what you said to me

You were acting so strange

And maybe I was too blind to see

That you needed a change ~

He didn't understand. He hadn't understood before, and he didn't understand now. Maybe he would never understand. He sighed, trying to clear his head of these thoughts, reminding himself that he had a show to do, fans to please. He flipped his wallet open again, looking at the faded picture of the two of them that was still kept safe behind its plastic screen.

Sora…

He would not allow himself to cry, too many tears had been shed already, a few more would mean nothing. Why did you leave me? Had their love been so false? He couldn't understand and it was this lack of understanding that drove him crazy. She had just walked out one day, ending a two year relationship, without explanation, without reason.

Everything seemed to have been going so right for them. The band had managed to get a recording contract, and they had all been thrilled. Sora had been accepted at one of the more prestigious universities in Japan. She hadn't wanted to go at first, not wanting to leave him. But he wouldn't allow her to do that, he loved her and he would be damned if he let her throw away an opportunity like that because of him, he would gladly wait for her and he told her so.

As a couple, they had been getting on well, better than ever. Both of them had realised that this summer was special, possibly the last time they could really be together without school or work getting in the way. They had accepted the inevitable separation, telling each other that it could only make them stronger.

~ Was it something I said to make you turn away

To make you walk out and leave me cold

If I could just find a way

To make it so you were right here, right now ~

And then his world had fallen apart. He shut his eyes in an attempt to block out the pain and loss. She had just left, saying that it was too much, that she needed a break. A break, he laughed silently, that had been a nice way of putting it, a nice way to break his heart. He couldn't stop the bitterness that surrounded him, in truth, he welcomed it, wanting to escape his pain.

He had been blind, he hadn't seen her drawing away from him, he brushed a solitary tear away from his now dulled blue eyes. How had he missed it? She had been quieter lately, more withdrawn…and he had ignored it. He had believed her unconvincing lies, perhaps he had really wanted her to be okay, and perhaps he had been too busy.

Did I push you away? I'm so sorry…I wish you were here, Sora. I need you to be here…

He had broken all his promises, been late for dates, forgotten to call…too many wrongs were pilled up in his name, too many things were his fault. He stared helplessly at his hands, wondering if she would miss him, if she was missing him right now.

He had been living his dream, and she didn't want to interfere, but she told him that she couldn't live like this. Her harsh words had hurt him, but the look in her eyes had broken his heart. Why hadn't she understood that his dreams had always included her in them?

Their summer of happiness had unravelled before his eyes and he only had himself to blame. He had called her, only to be given numerous excuses, she was in the shower, she was out, she was busy… All further proof that she wanted nothing to do with him.

Sora, no other girl has made me feel this way, no other girl has made me go this crazy. I wish I had told you all this before…I wish I had another chance to make everything right again…

Love had made him do crazy things, he thought of all the messages he had left on her answering machine, all of them unanswered, and the letters he'd written but was too afraid to send, now lying in his desk drawer mixed among unfinished song lyrics. But he would do anything, he would give everything up, if he could have her again. His dreams were nothing but rubble without her by his side.

~ I've been sitting here

Can't get you off my mind

I'm tryin my best to be a man and be strong

I drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face

But the truth remains,

You're gone ~

He longed for one more day with her, one more day of holding her, of kissing her, of telling her how much he loved her. But it was too late, he would never be able to do that again. His eyes strayed to the clock on the wall, she would leave today, for a city far away, to a life without him. He wished the pain would leave him alone.

He threw the wallet on his desk, not wanting to see it, a constant reminder of all he'd lost. Even with his eyes closed he could see it, himself, his arms wrapped loosely around her waist, leaning his chin on her shoulder and smiling at the camera, and she was trying not to laugh, the auburn strands of her hair intermingling amongst his own blonde hair.

The phone rang, and rang. He had no reason to pick it up, knowing that she would be engrossed in last minute packing, and he didn't want to talk to anyone but her.

"Yamato," his father's voice, as insistent as the knocking on the door, "Yamato, phone's for you."

He sighed, knowing that his father knew he was home, "Hai, hai," he muttered, opening the door, "Yamato desu," he said curtly, not caring what the person on the other end thought of his manners.

"Onii-chan? How are you?"

He frowned slightly at Takeru's worried tone, in the two weeks since his break-up with Sora, their roles had seemed to be reversed, with Takeru playing the older brother. "I'm fine, Takeru. I'd be better if you stopped checking up on me."

"I'm not checking up on you!" Takeru's injured tone would have made Yamato laugh if he had been in a better state of mind, "I just wanted to wish you luck for the show tonight. We're all gonna be there, cheering you on."

"Yeah," he murmured, the one person he wanted to be there, the only person he wanted to be there would not show up. More tears brimmed in his eyes, "Listen Takeru, I'm-uh, kinda busy right now. Thanks for calling, I'll see you tonight," he hung up abruptly. Walking out into the hallway, he wrenched the phone cord from its socket.

~ Now I don't wanna make excuses, baby

Won't change the fact that you're gone

But if there's something that I could do

Won't you please let me know?

The time is passing so slowly now,

Guess that's my life without you

And maybe I could change my everyday

But baby I don't want to ~

Scattered on his desk were several sheets of paper, half of them were scribbled music scores, the other half contained unfinished lyrics. Lyrics that contained his heart and soul. He wanted to finish the song by tonight, before tonight, so that he could sing it. He had to admit that he was basing it all on the faintest hope that she would be there and hear all that he had to say. That was why this song was so important, that was why he had to get it right.

For her…I'll do anything for her…

He sat down again, staring at the words that looked up at him. Anger filled his heart, it wasn't right. He couldn't seem to get it right. It was all crap, meaningless crap. He screwed the papers up into a ball, tossing them at the wastepaper basket not caring that he had missed his target, the papers joined the others lying around the room.

He buried his head in his arms and allowed himself the luxury of crying. She had been his everything, his inspiration…and now she was gone.

I can't even tell you anymore, Sora…I can't make the words flow…

He hated himself for this weakness, he hated the fact that he was so helpless. I have so many things that I never said, so many things I wish I'd said. Sora, the only thing I want is for you to come back…I need you to come back to me…

He took out a fresh piece of paper, ignoring his tearstained face, painful as his memories were, they were the only thing he had left of her. The only thing left of his inspiration. He would write from that, it was all he had left.

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A/N: I was gonna cry…I really was. I don't like doing this to Yamato. I didn't finish the song, but I have to really thank the people of Nsync, cause that song was the original inspiration behind this fic. Anyway, read and review please!

Webpage: Cherry Blossoms & Ki Blasts

Yamato: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY CHARACTER?!

You were the one that wanted me to write this fic. *sniffles* It's making me sad…

Yamato: Making you sad? What about me? I've been reduced to a snivelling, lovelorn idiot!

I did say that this fic was not a happy one, right?

Yamato: Yeah…but oh, the demands on my acting skills…

*sighs* You'll be fine. I promise that the next chapter will be happier-

Yamato: And where was Sora in all this?!
-and there will be more Sorato…okay? Happy?

Yamato: Much better.

© Abi 2001-12-05