Recollections of Days Gone By
Disclaimer: Digimon does not belong to me…all the characters belong to Tolei. However, my petition to own Yamato and Taichi should go through soon… ^__^ I also don't own the song I Knew I Loved You which belongs to Savage Garden. Don't sue me!
A/N: I have the coolest reviewers in the world! I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!
Special thanks to: Lia – Gingerbread Yama? WHERE?! *looks around frantically* rose – Were there extra 'o's in that? Hope you like this one! Yama's Bi-atch – Jealousy! Oooh…the evil green eyed monster, it's so good for fics!! AngryMew2 – Yeah, those forks can be deadly! O_O Lol! Glad you liked! Toni – I probably would've hit Yuki too…I had to make Sora better than me, didn't I? Now Yama will love her even more! *pouts* The Sassy Senorita – I had enough of Jun bashing actually, especially after I saw her fall for Shin ^_^ (did I spell that right?) mel – Oh, he will…but will it be in this chapter? Sandra – Well, I'd call her hair purple…I dunno, what would you call it? Claire – I'm writing! I'm writing! Rio – Aww! And email review! I feel special! *grins* Maybe it'll end bad, and maybe it won't…you'll just have to read on… Hell's Hauntress – I seem to have an uncanny knack for converting Taiora fans. ^_^ I used to be a Taiora fan too…I just never wrote any fics on it. BlueWolf – I wanted to beat her up, but it didn't go with the plot!
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Chapter Five: I Knew I Loved You
~ Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant ~
Yamato looked at the piece of paper sitting on his desk; in the past week he'd written three new songs for the band. All of them involving love, in short, they were love songs. I never knew I had it in me. He frowned; if he brought these to the guys they would most likely tease him. He'd never written like this before. But then, he'd never felt like this before.
Sora.
The mere though of her brought a sappy smile to his lips. I'm an absolute nutcase, he sighed mentally. He stuffed the lyrics into his backpack. His cerulean eyes gazed into coffee coloured ones and that smile crept up his face again. It had to be his favourite picture in the whole world. Taken just a couple of days ago, it was of him and Sora in the park. His arm rested loosely around her waist and she was leaning into his embrace, smiling at the camera. He picked up the frame, running a thumb over the glass. I want to tell you, Sora, but I don't want to scare you away…
"Yamato!"
He winced as his door crashed open, "Taichi, don't you call before coming over anymore?"
Taichi looked at him like he was crazy, "I told you yesterday!" He rapped his knuckles on Yamato's forehead, "Hello? Are we still alive in there?" Yamato slapped his hand away and his best friend smirked, "I told you yesterday at lunchtime that I needed to borrow your math book over the weekend, remember?" The smirk grew wider, "Or were you too busy looking at Sora?"
"You know, Taichi, I don't have to lend you the math book," Yamato scowled at his friend, he put the picture frame back into its original position on his desk.
Taichi immediately snatched it up, "Ooh, hey, when did you guys take this?"
"A couple of days ago," Yamato shrugged, pulling the much-desired math book from his desk drawer, "Here you go."
His big-haired friend ignored him for the moment, studying the picture with a knowing smile, "Hey, Yamato? How would you describe the look on your face?"
"What?" Yamato asked irritably, "Look, can we have this conversation later? I have band practise in twenty minutes."
Taichi grinned at him, "Well, see; what I would say that it's look of…what's the word? Oh yes, love."
"What?" The blonde laughed nervously, "You've lost it completely Taichi. Sora and I have only been going out for about two weeks. You don't fall in love that fast."
Taichi grabbed Yamato's math book and tucked it under his arm, "Well, maybe normal people don't. But then, you've always been far from normal," he grinned, putting the picture back. Yamato glared at the barely veiled insult. Taichi just ignored him, "Well, I probably should get going, you having band practise and all. See you at school, Yamato!" He was out the door before his friend could even react.
Yamato stared at the door, Damn it, Taichi! Why do you always have to be right?
~ And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound a little crazy
But I believe… ~
She checked her watch one more time, more for lack of anything to do than because she needed to know what the time was. The timer on the oven began beeping and she jumped. Laughing at herself, she slipped the blue and white oven mitts on her slim hands and took the tray of cookies out.
The tray was plunked down on the counter with a clatter. Sora gazed at the chocolate chip cookies apprehensively, the smell of baking filled the room and she cautiously picked one up, breaking it in half. Steam drifted from the cookie halves, bearing a rich, chocolate-ly scent. She nibbled on the corner and smiled. They were okay.
No, they were better than okay, they were great. It was a relief, normally, she wouldn't have worried. But these cookies were for Yamato. Yamato, who had made the past few weeks seem like heaven. Yamato, who, as far as Sora was concerned, was her guardian angel in human form. Therefore, these cookies had to be perfect; they had to be better than the cookies he had lost at the concert.
Because these cookies were for Yamato.
Sora untied the apron strings and hung it up on the hook in a corner of the kitchen. The oven mitts went back to their place by the stove. Her fingers raked through her auburn hair, smoothing through the tangles acquired during the baking process. She could probably catch him before band practise if she left now. Not waiting for the cookies to cool, Sora carefully put them into the box she had prepared for them.
She'd already made him the replacement cookies as promised, these were extra, just because she cared about him. Her pale pink lips curved into a soft smile, brown eyes shining. The past few weeks had gone by so fast, and in all honesty, she couldn't remember a time without Yamato by her side. The highlight of everyday was seeing him, looking – and getting lost in – those deep blue eyes. Those eyes contained depths she had never imagined, she could spent forever looking into them.
He treated her like she was the most precious thing in the world and she loved that, she loved feeling like she was special. He never pushed her, he always asked, checked to make sure that they weren't moving too fast. It was a conscientious side of him that she had never experienced before. She tied a satin ribbon around the box, making sure it was secure. A slender finger rubbed the soft fabric, the smile never leaving her face.
You make it so easy to start falling in love with you, Yamato.
The clock in the hall chimed, signalling a new hour and she panicked, if she didn't hurry, she would miss him altogether. Even as she rushed for a jacket and her shoes the thoughts of Yamato didn't leave, if anything, at the thought of seeing him soon, they became more numerous.
She slid her key into the lock, taking special care not to crush her precious package. The lock slid into place and Sora made for the elevator, tapping a finger against the button impatiently when the mechanical contraption took it's time arriving at her floor.
Once inside the small enclosed space, she allowed time for her thoughts. She was the digidestined of love, and she had felt love before, for her parents, for her friends. But she had never experienced the kind of emotions that couples in love often proclaimed. Could I be in love with Yamato? The question pounded at her brain, begging to be answered.
In all honestly, she didn't know what love was. All she knew was the depth of the feelings that she had for a certain blonde haired singer surpassed anything she had ever felt before. All her childhood crushes seemed insignificant in light of this.
The doors chimed and opened, she stepped out of the elevator, blinking at the bright sunlight. Shading her eyes she could see a blonde capped figure making its way across the park. She smiled and started jogging.
~ I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life ~
"YAMATO!"
He turned hesitantly, hoping that this wasn't another crazed and obsessed fangirl. When his crystalline blue eyes spied the red-head making her way towards him a smile crossed his face. He didn't care that he looked like an idiot, standing in the middle of the park, grinning like an idiot. He only had eyes for the girl in front of him.
Funny how she could change the outlook of his entire day. His hand rested on the strap of his instrument case, the smooth leather felt cool under his fingers. Just the sight of her made him want to wrap her up in his arms and never let go, even now, his arms ached to hold her.
He'd never fallen this hard before. He accepted this as fact and even the thought of life without her made his heart pound painfully in his chest. Letting her go was something he could never do. Even now, he grew impatient with waiting for her, closing the distance between them with a few strides.
"Hey, you," his voice automatically took on the soft, loving tone he tended to use with her. "What are you doing here?" The fingers of his free hand instinctively sought hers, encasing her hand in a warm, comforting grip.
"I have something for you," her face was flushed from her short jog, but her breathing was even. "Here," she said, holding out the box to him.
Reluctantly, he released her hand so he could grasp the box. The smile on his face grew when he recognised the familiarity of this scene. "You made me more cookies?"
The childlike glee in his voice made her laugh and she nodded her head, "Go ahead, try them," she urged still grinning.
Yamato led her to a nearby park bench where he unceremoniously deposited his guitar case. Making himself comfortable, he sat down with the box on his lap. He played with the ribbon, sliding the material between his fingers before unravelling the bow. The scent that assaulted his nose was heavenly and he breathed deeply, enjoying the aroma, heavy with the smell of chocolate. "Mmm, these smell great," he murmured softly, picking one up, "And they're still warm."
A small smile played on her lips, "Yamato," she chided gently, "I didn't make them for you to smell, just eat one already!"
Mission complete. She was cute when she was annoyed and he delighted in making her frustrated, just so he could kiss her and make her smile again. Without any further ado he popped the chocolate chip goodie into his mouth and chewed. His eyes widened, "These are great!" he exclaimed around the mouthful.
Sora grimaced when she caught a glimpse of the chewed up cookie. Quickly, she clapped her hand over his mouth, causing him to look at her with plaintive blue eyes. "Chew," she ordered, "No one wants to see what you're eating."
He obeyed reluctantly and she only removed her hand once he swallowed. "That was mean!" he pouted, lower lip protruding.
The little-boy look on his face brought a smile to her lips. Yamato never ceased to amaze her; he could be incredibly mature one moment and sound like a spoilt little kid the next. "It wasn't mean," she said, ruffling his hair in a way she knew would annoy him. "It was necessary."
He nodded sceptically, wondering momentarily what his precious hair looked like – not that he didn't love the feel of her fingers threading through his hair. It was just that…it was his hair. She had that look in her eyes and he knew instantly that she was out to aggravate him. He caught her hand gently, turned it over and kissed it, enjoying the feel of her soft skin under his lips.
"Yamato…"
He tore his lips away from her hand and looked up at her, blue eyes sparkling, "My lady?"
She laughed softly, "Quit playing around," there were those eyes again, those eyes that she could drown in, her breath caught in her throat and she struggled to find the words she needed, "Don't you have band practise?"
"I can be a little late," he moved closer towards her, cupping her chin in his hand. "If it's for a good reason," he whispered, bringing their faces closer together.
His breath, bearing the smell of cookies, washed over her skin, causing shivers to course up and down her spine. Their eyes were locked; cinnamon brown to a cerulean blue and she felt herself get lost in those sparkling orbs. Her world shrunk, centring and consisting only of the boy-man in front of her. "And this is a good reason?" the words came out with a soft whoosh as she finally remembered to breathe.
"Very."
The moment his lips touched hers she felt the world swirl around her and the sparks were undeniable. She couldn't remember the last time they'd been alone together. At the insistence of his tongue, she opened her mouth wider, feeling the kiss deepen significantly. He tastes of chocolate…
The thought was discarded when his lips left hers. The loss was staggering, her lips craved his. Her hands slipped up his back, pulling him closer to her. He leaned down to kiss the base of her throat softly, placing butterfly kisses up her neck and along her jawline before finally meeting her lips again. The moan that escaped her throat was swallowed by his mouth and her fingers tangled in his soft fine hair.
Realisation of where this was leading pierced his fogged brain and he slowly pulled away. "Sora…" he murmured hoarsely, "I didn't mean to-"
She placed a finger on his kiss-swollen lips, "Shh…" she whispered softly. "It doesn't matter," she wanted to kiss him again, but she knew that if she did, they would never stop. "You have band practise," she reminded him finally.
A sigh as he searched out her eyes, he didn't know what he was looking for, some sign that he hadn't pushed her too far. Her eyes held everything, everything and nothing at the same time. "I'll call you tonight," he said at last, getting up from the bench.
She didn't reply.
~ There's just no rhyme or reason
Only a sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home ~
She sat there for a long time, just watching the people around her. Her thoughts were cluttered, crowding in her head. She sought relief from them, but couldn't find it. The memory of the kiss they had shared was enough to turn her world upside down. He thought that he had pushed her, forced her into something that she wasn't ready to accept. Sora wasn't even sure if she had been ready, but she knew that she had wanted that kiss as much as he had. Didn't that mean that she had been ready?
She didn't know. The wind tossed copper coloured strands of hair around her face, and she tucked them behind her ears. Her only thought was to reassure him, to tell him that she didn't hold him responsible, that she could never hate him. She could never hate him. The intensity of that thought shocked her.
A shiver ran down her spine and she wrapped thin arms around her body. She couldn't bear knowing that he might be thinking that she was angry with him. Even now, she missed his arms holding her close, his lips on hers. Is this what it's like to be in love?
These feelings were driving her crazy. There were no words for them, but they bubbled up inside of her, overwhelming her and making want to laugh and cry at the same time. Everything Yamato did made her smile, she was the happiest around him. When she was away from him the world seemed to dim a little. Was that love? Was this wonderful dependence a part of being in love?
And if she'd scared him off forever? A single tear ran down her wind-reddened cheek. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if that happened. She needed him with a desperation that was frightening.
"Sora? You okay?"
Too-similar blue eyes looked concernedly down at her and her heart rate quickened slightly before she realised that it was Takeru. "Yeah," she forced herself to smile, "I'm fine."
He sat down next to her, hands thrust deep into his pockets to ward off the cold. There was silence. He couldn't think of anything to say but she seemed to have forgotten he was here anyway. Takaishi Takeru studied his brother's girlfriend with half-lidded blue eyes. Despite her reassurance that she was fine, she seemed upset about something and he couldn't help wondering what.
Sora was a good friend, and he liked that she was dating his brother. Even if Yamato's head had been up in the clouds ever since they'd started dating. He saw her as the sister he had never had, and the fact that she was going out with Yamato reinforced that. Sora had been there to comfort him in the digital world when Yamato had left, she had encouraged him when it seemed all hope was gone. The best he could do was repay that favour.
He wished he had some idea of how to do it.
The wind picked up and Takeru shivered a little, sorely regretting not putting on a sweater when he'd come out. The slight movement caught Sora's eye and she turned to look at him more closely, her eyes widening when she realised that he was clad only in a shirt and shorts. "Takeru, you'll freeze to death out here!"
"I'm fine," he mumbled, tell-tale teeth chattering in his mouth.
Sora stood, hands on her hips, "Like hell you are! You're coming with me!"
Her cinnamon eyes flashed with worry and exasperation and he knew it was useless to argue with her, "Where to?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant and failing miserably.
She chewed on her lower lip thoughtfully, "My place is closest. You can warm up there."
"Sora, I'm fine, really!" he tried one last time to convince her, but she had that stubborn look in her eyes that told him that she would drag him to her apartment if he didn't come willingly. He sighed and stood up, At least she isn't upset anymore.
~ I know it might sound a little crazy
But I believe… ~
He threw the instrument on his bed, it bounced once and settled. He groaned softly, running a hand through his golden-blonde locks and messing up the once perfectly styled hair. The phone, gleaming an innocent white under the glow of his room light, sat on his desk and he stared at it.
He should call her, he needed to call her, to make sure everything was okay. How could he have been so stupid? After telling himself over and over again not to push her, not to rush this relationship, he had gone and done it anyway. I'm not losing you, Sora, he promised himself silently, I'm not letting go of you that easily.
The look in her eyes haunted him, the confusion brimming in those cinnamon-brown orbs made him want to cry. And Ishida Yamato never cried. Sora had stepped in and changed everything about him. She had him firmly wrapped around her little finger and he wouldn't have it any other way.
Perhaps this was love in its purest form, a love he had never experienced before. They fitted together so well, they completed each other in a way that left him breathless. In all his wildest imaginings he had never thought that love could be like this. His very soul seemed to cry out when they were apart. Tears wet his lashes and he ignored them, lost in his thoughts.
I love her, I love her more than I could have thought. I can't lose her…I can't go on without her…
Bitterly ironic, as Yamato had never been one to believe in love. He had always seen it as an overused ideal. He had seen couples who claimed to be in love fall apart, his parents were a prime example of people who had been in 'love'. But this was before Sora. This was before one girl had waltzed into his life, cleverly stealing his heart in the process.
No, perhaps 'stealing' wasn't the right word, he had given it to her. She didn't realised it, and it was up to him to tell her what she had. He could only hope that she wouldn't break it.
His fingers grasped the phone receiver hesitantly, positioning by his ear. He dialled the familiar number quickly, not wanting to think about what he was doing.
"Moshi moshi," the voice at the other was, as always, overtly-happy.
He grimaced, "You were right," he muttered, it galled him to ask for help, but he didn't know what to do anymore.
"As happy as I am to hear that you've finally acknowledged that I am the all-knowing, all-powerful God of the universe-"
"Shut up, Taichi," Yamato grumbled, "Look, if you're so 'all-knowing' you can help me."
There was a gasp on the other end, "What? The great Ishida asking for help? What has the world come to?" Taichi griped, a wide grin on his face.
Yamato's hand gripped the receiver tighter, knuckles turning white. This was not the time for Taichi's ever-constant jokes. "As hilariously funny as you are," he began sarcastically. "I've really screwed up this time, and if you have any advice I'd be willing to take it. But that doesn't guarantee that I'll use it," he added as an afterthought.
"What did you do now?"
~ I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life ~
"It's really pouring out there," Takeru said, staring out the window at the rain sheeting down. A mug of hot chocolate was cupped in his hands, steam rising lazily from the brown liquid.
Sora jumped visibly when lightning flashed through the grey sky. "Oops," she grimaced when the drink in her hands lapped over the sides due to her sudden movement. She got up to get a cloth, "While I'm up, do you want something to eat?"
The younger boy was swirling the remaining liquid around the cup, "No thanks. I'll probably need to get going soon anyway."
"You can stay here for dinner if you want," Sora offered, mopping the spilled hot chocolate off her hands, "My mother's working late tonight."
Takeru put the mug back on the table with a 'clink', "Thanks, but kaa-san will be expecting me back for dinner." He flashed her a grin that was all too reminiscent of his brother's.
Sora had to fight the painful twisting in her heart. Yamato. Her eyes strayed to the clock; he'd said that he would call tonight. The need to hear his voice consumed her, she needed to know that everything was okay, that she hadn't scared him away forever.
A gentle hand on her shoulder and she started. Takeru frowned at her, "You spaced out again." He placed his mug in the sink, "Are you sure you're okay, Sora?"
Another forced smile to make him feel better, if anything, Takeru's frown deepened, "I've just got some things on my mind, that's all. Don't worry so much about me, Takeru!" Her tone was teasing, but her eyes were sad.
Sadness doesn't suit Sora… Takeru hugged her gently, "Well, you can talk to me about them if you want to." He noticed the look on her face and laughed, "Or you can call Taichi, or Yamato…" Her smile faltered at the sound of his brother's name, Bingo! So, the something that was bothering Sora was Yamato. Now he knew he really was out of his depth. He had no clue as to how to help her, but he pushed on anyway, "We're all your friends, Sora. You can talk to any of us."
"How old are you again?" Sora smiled, a real smile this time, "Thanks, Takeru. You should probably go, ne? I wouldn't want your mother to worry about you." She handed him an umbrella, "Take this, you can return it next time I see you."
"Thanks," he grinned sheepishly, "I'll get Yamato to return it to you." Her face fell again, and Takeru looked at her seriously, "Hey, Sora? If Yamato's the problem, you should probably talk to him about it, you know?"
"I never said Yamato was the problem," she denied swinging the door open to reveal said person, soaking wet, his hand raised to knock.
~ A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you ~
Yamato.
He looked at her with pleading blue eyes, teeth chattering. His blonde hair fell in bedraggled tangles, plastered to his scalp, sticking to his face. Silently, she stepped back and allowed him to enter. He did so, just as silently. The tension was thick in the air and Takeru decided that this was his cue to leave. He smiled at his brother, thanked Sora again, and was out the door.
Neither of them paid much attention to his departure. Yamato continued to look at her with that look in his eyes, a pleading look that comprised of a mixture of guilt, sorrow…and something that took her breath away.
Sora was hard pressed to name that unidentified emotion, she didn't know if she wanted to, it scared and thrilled her at the same time.
"You must be freezing," she said at last, moving to push him over to the heater, "See if you can get warm." She eyed him critically, "I don't think we have any clothes that fit you, but I'll see what I can do," she finished, slipping into one of the bedrooms.
He was making a puddle on the ground. Drops of water continued to drip from his golden locks and Yamato wondered if he'd done the right thing. He had wanted to call, but somehow, he needed to see her face. Taichi had convinced him to tell her everything. He couldn't do that over the phone.
I can only hope she won't break my heart…
And even if she did, he knew that he wouldn't stop loving her. He couldn't, he was completely addicted to her. He needed her to survive, without her by his side, he couldn't breathe. Without her smile, he would never laugh again. Without her love, he would die. His trembling hands were pale under the cold white light and a single tear slid down from one blue orb, mixing with the rainwater on his face.
She returned, carrying a towel and a bundle of something that was coloured a baby blue. "Here, use this to dry your hair," a slight smile pulled at her lips, "I was right, we have nothing that would fit you, but you can borrow my bathrobe if you want."
He told himself to be glad it wasn't pink. "T-thanks," he was barely able to get the word out past his still-chattering teeth.
Sora began boiling more water for hot chocolate, briefly she wondered if a complete disregard for the weather ran in the Ishida/Takaishi family. She could admit to herself that she was nervous. The wealth of emotions that bubbled to the surface when she'd seen Yamato standing there had surprised and scared her.
She'd wanted to rush into his arms and tell him never to let her go. But she hadn't been able to take her eyes off him. The kettle whistled shrilly and she took it off the stove, beginning to pour the heated water into the awaiting mugs. What if he came here to break up with me?
Tears stung her eyes. Yamato wasn't the type of person to break up with someone over the phone. Was that why he hadn't called? Because he wanted an end to everything? The pain in heart stunned her, too much pain to have only been going out with someone for a couple of weeks. Too much pain to constitute the loss of a good friend. So what was it? Why did she feel as though she wouldn't be able to go on without Yamato?
A sharp cry of pain escaped her lips, and Sora clenched her teeth. She'd forgotten to stop pouring and the water, unable to fill the cup anymore, had spilled over the counter and onto her hand. Cursing softly, she ran her hand under the cold tap.
"What happened?" The concern in Yamato's voice caused more tears to leak from her tightly closed eyelids. Within moments, he was beside her, examining her hand gently.
"I-I'm fine…" her voice was choked, partially because of the pain and partially because he was standing so close to her.
Damp blonde strands brushed against her copper hair, "No, you're not." Even under the cold water, it was easy to see that her hand was now an attractive lobster red. "Does it still hurt?"
She shook her head.
"Okay," Yamato looked at her from under his eyelashes, "Do you have any burn cream?"
Would he show this much concern if he was going to break up with her? "I don't know…check the medicine chest," she nodded towards one of the cupboards lining the kitchen walls, "In there."
She closed her eyes tiredly, leaning against the counter. Her ears picked up the sound of Yamato rummaging through the cupboard, then his arm was firmly wrapped around her waist. "You need to sit down before you fall down," he murmured into her ear, warm breath tickling her. He guided her to the couch and she leaned into the embrace just a tiny bit, enjoying the feel of his arm around her.
"Sit," his voice boded no argument and she obeyed, legs buckling under her. She winced, opening her eyes wide, when he gently touched her hand. "Sorry," he murmured, crouching down in front of her, "It might hurt a little when I put the cream on. The skin's still tender."
Wordlessly, she nodded her head.
Gently, he took her hand in his, the cool cream was a relief, numbing the pain slightly. His fingers smoothly spread the cream over the affected hand, resting for a moment on her wrist. "Better?" he asked, voice still slightly worried.
"Y-yeah," she mumbled, flexing her fingers experimentally, "Thank you."
An uncomfortable silence settled around them, Yamato's fingers still rested loosely around her wrist. There was so much that needed to be said, so many uncertainties that needed to be aired and yet neither one was ready to make the first move.
He couldn't stand the look in her eyes, the pain and confusion that he could read in them formed a knife that plunged into his heart. As though sensing his gaze, Sora hung her head, allowing her hair to hide her too-expressive eyes. The knife in his heart twisted.
"Sora, I-"
She looked at him, and the tears shimmering in her eyes made him want to cry too. All he wanted to say flew from his mind, "Don't-don't cry," he whispered brokenly, on sudden impulse he gathered her into his arms. "Please don't cry. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," the dam broke and everything he wanted to say poured out at once, "I shouldn't have pushed you, I never wanted to rush this." His hand released her wrist, reaching up to stroke her hair instead, "I didn't want to hurt you, Sora. I would never do that…" his voice faded into a soft murmur, "I'm sorry I hurt you, please stop crying."
Until now she had been sitting numbly in his embrace, but now the tears spilled over onto her cheeks and a half-choked sob fell from her lips. He thought he'd hurt her. And that thought was hurting him. She pulled free of his arms, allowing herself the luxury of looking deeply into his eyes. Normally sparkling blue orbs that for the moment glittered with remorse and fear.
"It wasn't your fault," she said, placing her unhurt hand on his cheek, allowing her thumb to trace his cheekbone lightly. He shivered under her touch, "You didn't do anything, Yama-kun, you understand?"
He nodded his head, but his eyes said otherwise.
She should have known that he would be stubborn about this, "Yamato…you didn't push me into anything. I-I wanted you-" she swallowed slightly before continuing, "-to kiss me like that."
"I-" There were no words to say, he searched her eyes again, seeking something that would tell him that she was lying. There was nothing. A profound sense of relief swept over him and he embraced her again. I love you so much, Sora. Taichi's voice was in his head, urging him to tell her. The words lay heavy on his tongue, begging to be said, but, for the life of him, he didn't know how to say them.
Tears slipped from under his closed eyelids, falling into her hair. "Yamato?" She peered up at him, "Why are you crying?"
Tell her now! He took a deep breath to still his nerves, not easy as that voice kept yammering in his head. "I was…scared, Sora," she didn't respond, just waited for him to elaborate. Yamato sent a silent prayer heavenwards, "I was scared of losing you," he murmured softly refusing to meet her eyes, fixing his expressing azure eyes on the blank television screen instead.
A gentle hand reached up and forced his chin downwards, forcing him to look her in the eye. "You were never going to lose me," she said firmly. "Never. You got that, buddy?"
Despite himself, a small smile crept up his face, "Got it." He had to tell her now, before the moment was lost. Yamato licked suddenly dry lips, "Uh, Sora?" She looked up at him, cinnamon eyes acknowledging his query. "I-I love you…" he whispered.
Judgement. He waited for some response, but there was nothing. Eyes closed, he felt his heart shatter into a thousands pieces. His arms still embraced her, but her body was tense. More tears threatened to fall. It was too soon! Why did I listen to Taichi? I've lost her for good now…
"Yamato, what is love?" her voice was small, sounding lost to his ears. She finally looked up at him, wide brown eyes pleading, "Tell me, please?"
He swallowed, struggling to find the ability to speak, "I don't really know how to explain it," he closed his eyes seeking time to gather his scattered thoughts, "You feel…complete, around the person you love. You would do anything for them. Everything wrong in your life doesn't matter anymore. Everything…fits. When they cry, you cry too. And when they laugh, you want to make them laugh more." Various emotions choked him, and it was several minutes before he was able to talk again, "You can't live without them." He finished in a whisper.
Sora was battling conflicting emotions, tears wet her lashes. He feels that way about me… Joy overwhelmed her heart, and yet, she couldn't return those three words, she just couldn't. "I'm sorry," she said softly, "I'm so sorry, Yamato…" her tears choked her off, "I can't…I can't-"
He held her close, cherishing the feel of her in his arms, allowing her to sob into his chest, wetting the fabric of her bathrobe. His slender fingers combed through her fine hair, trying to offer comfort to the one he loved. "Sora," he murmured softly, fighting the pain in his own heart, "It's okay, it really is."
"It's not fair to you," she said, her words muffled, "If I say it now, I wouldn't really mean it. Not without fully understanding what love is. I'm sorry," her words held the hint of a sob, "I don't understand how I feel," her head pulled away from his chest, "Give me some time, please."
His fingers caressed her cheek gently, "I'll give you all the time you need."
~ I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life ~
~~*~~
A/N: First of all, don't hate me because Sora didn't tell Yamato that she loved him. I am not rushing this story, and I want it to be as different as possible from Playing the Part. Plus, it's not completely realistic to have everyone proclaiming love, especially since Sora's so confused. In all honesty, this isn't how I thought I'd end this chapter, but it fit better than my intended ending. ^_^ Reviews are wanted! Criticism is also accepted. Tell me what you think please! O_O This is the longest chapter so far…scary, ne?
Yamato: You know, this chapter is fairly dramatic.
I know…weird huh? I guess there really is no romance without problems
Yamato: I beg to differ. If you were writing it…
No, it wouldn't even be interesting!
Yamato: While we're talking about this chapter…what's with the bathrobe?!
WHAT? It wasn't pink, was it? What's the complaint now?
Yamato: … My problem is you always putting me in weird clothes!
Now a bathrobe is weird?
Yamato: If it's Sora's bathrobe…
Don't lie, you were loving it!
Yamato: *blush*
HAH!
Yamato: …
I could have made it pink…
Yamato: *walks away mumbling about evil authors*
Website: Cherry Blossoms & Ki Blasts
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Okay, I'll be working on the next chapter as soon as I have time. I've got a full time job for the next month now…so I'll be updating less. Sorry! (Hint: Reviews are helpful for writing…)
© Abi 2002-01-01
¡¡Happy New Year!!