Recollections of Days Gone By

by regnum

Sorato. Sora has left Yamato and he doesn't understand why. He tries to write the perfect song, to put his feelings into words, but the only way for him to gain his inspiration is to tread the road of memories, painful as they may be. {PART SEVEN NEW!!}

7. Chapter Six: Drowning

Recollections of Days Gone By

Disclaimer: If I owned Digimon it would still be showing on TV instead of Flint the Time Detective. Thus, we can conclude that I don't own Digimon. I also don't own the song Drowning which belongs to the Backstreet Boys.

A/N: I'm so sorry guys! I completely forgot that Sora had made Yamato the cookies in Chapter Two. (Yes, I am a baka.) Um…couldn't someone have mentioned this to me? *sighs* Never mind, let's just say she made him more cookies…like a third batch, cause cookies are special in their relationship. I just screwed up the plot of the fic…but it's too late to change it now. T.T I didn't kill the fic, did I? Review and make me feel better…

Thanks (as always) to everyone who reviewed last chapter, I love you guys! ^_^
Special thanks to: Crayon – Boxers? *drools* Now, I wonder where I can put that… Claire – I'm just happy you reviewed! Thank you! BlueWolf – Sap is good…okay, sap in excess is not too good…but it's so good!! chichamunkyhead - *huggles* Thank you for the super-long review! You are not small and insignificant…the whole reason I started writing Sorato was because of 'If You'. You have to continue your fics, 'Final Distance' especially…I love that fic! Mel – I'm continuing…I'd never leave my readers hanging…maybe ^_^ Hell's Hauntress – I'll work on the conversion…thanks for your review. You don't think I overdid the romance? Rio – I download people's fics too. I'm honoured that you do that with mine. *blushes* Trunks' Babe – You forgot?! T.T Sad….how could you?! (I get those hentai thoughts all the time ^_^) Crayon – Ah…fluffy fics be good too! We just might see some Tommy Hilfiger boxers in this chapter…no promises though! Sorato – I know I messed up of Jun's hair. Gomen! I'm really honoured that you'll put this on your favourite stories list! Thank you!

~~*~~

Chapter Six: Drowning

~ Don't pretend you're sorry

I know you're not

You know you've got the power

To leave me weak inside ~

Blonde locks glinted gold in the sunlight and she wanted to run away. The pressure was almost too much for her. But she couldn't run, her feet seemed rooted to the spot as he turned brilliant blue orbs to her, locking gazes. The intensity and love – yes, she knew it as love now – in his eyes took her breath away. It was impossible to ignore her quickening heartbeat, impossible to ignore the joy that welled in her heart when she saw him.

And yet her mind was in chaos.

His arms wrapped around her securely, pulling her into a loving embrace. When he released her, she smiled. How could she not? How could this angel of light not bring a smile to her face? He said nothing, but his own grin was strained, and she knew why.

It's my fault.

The thought hammered into her brain, convincing her with each repetition. The man standing in front of her loved her more than life itself, he had told her so, and yet she couldn't return that sentiment. She couldn't, not until she understood what it was to be in love.

That knowledge had driven a wedge between them, separating what was, and what could have been. She wanted to return those three words more than anything in the world, even if it was just so she could erase the pain that she often saw in those crystal blue eyes.

But she wouldn't – couldn't – lie to him. I'm sorry, Yamato.

His hand grasped hers, fingers entwining in an intimate embrace. "Where to?" he asked softly, his words snatched away by the wind. His honey-gold hair whipped wildly around his face, individual strands caught and highlighted by the early spring sunlight.

It really didn't matter much, as long as he was with her. That was the criteria, he had to be with her. She shrugged, "Doesn't matter really," it didn't sound like her voice, too quiet, too subdued, "I don't have to work today."

This game tired her. They pretended that everything was okay, when really it wasn't. In front of their friends, they tried to act like a happy couple. Sora hoped that they had fooled them, because if they hadn't then all that energy had been wasted. Even alone, they needed each other too much to be denied time alone together. But each moment was bittersweet, every embrace left her feeling happy and, strangely, even more confused. She didn't know how he felt, he wore his mask too well, but every so often, his eyes would flash with some emotion that was alien to him. Hurt.

The supposedly indestructible Ishida Yamato had been hurt by her. There was no pride in that. She couldn't take pride in hurting someone that she cared about so much.

"I'll walk you home then," his gentle voice shattered her thoughts.

She nodded acquiescence, enjoying and yet hating the feel of his warm hand encasing hers. The wind was cold and she shivered slightly, trying to ignore Yamato's concerned blue eyes. It was the same look he had been giving her the night he told her that he loved her.

Some lesser part of her rebelled. He had no right in telling her he loved her. He had no right to be hurt when she was the one so confused. He had no right to play these games. Yes, a part of her was angry, but one look into his eyes wiped out that anger and bitterness. He had never asked to fall in love with her. He just had.

Still, it wasn't fair. Love wasn't supposed to be painful, love wasn't supposed to hurt. She thought of her crest, the crest of love. A word that held so many meanings, a word that could mean so much. A word that Yamato would never have used lightly. Sora had thought that she'd understood her crest, after all, wasn't that why Biyomon had finally been able to digivolve to ultimate?

She pushed wind-tossed strands of copper-red hair behind her ears. There were so many different kinds of love, and she had no experience in dealing with this kind.

"So, how's your hand?"

He was trying to make conversation. The realisation stung, they had been able to talk about anything, and now, here he was, bringing up some obscure topic just so they would talk. "Fine," she smiled a little, raising her free hand to show him, "It barely hurts anymore."

His smile was tinged with regret, "That's great."

~ And girl you leave me breathless

But it's okay

Cause you are my survival

Now hear me say… ~

He stared at the closed door, the nameplate, bearing the kanji for 'Takenouchi', seemed to be mocking him. He raised a hand to graze the tips of his fingers across the burnished surface, the smooth metal feeling cool under his fingers.

Leaving Sora without a good-bye kiss seemed…wrong somehow. His lips begged for the taste of her again, but he wouldn't allow it. He couldn't, not while knowing that his heart would be giving her something that she couldn't yet bring herself to accept. His lashes were wet with unshed tears and he brushed at his eyes surreptitiously.

Every moment with her was both pleasure and pain. Every moment apart seemed longer than the last. A soft sigh slipped past his lips, bearing all the agony that he was feeling. Slowly, he turned from the door, wanting so much to stay there and wait for her.

I said I'd wait… But he hadn't thought that waiting could be so painful. He needed to be with her, and yet, being with her was just as painful – if not more painful – than being apart. She knew that he loved her, loved her more than anything in the world, and yet couldn't return the sentiment, that tore him up inside.

There was a gentle 'ping' as the elevator door opened, without really thinking, he stepped in. He could no longer remember a time when this dull ache hadn't been a constant feature in his heart. Intermingled with the love and pain there was also fear.

He knew a time would come when he would have to choose. If she couldn't love him the way that he loved her, he would have to let her go. The thought of doing that stabbed another knife into his still-bleeding heart. Letting her go would be giving up on everything. Giving up on her, giving up on them. He needed her to live, and yet…if he had to, he would let go. No matter the cost to himself.

Hands firmly in his pockets, he set off across the field that separated their apartment buildings. The wind lightly tousled his golden-blonde hair, defying the gel that he had put in it this morning. He didn't care.

Leaving her would mean that nothing would be the same. He wouldn't be able to pretend that he could go back to being her best friend. The playful joking and teasing that had been a constant in their relationship would be too much for him to tolerate. He wasn't that good an actor.

The tears that pricked his expressive aquamarine eyes weren't because of the wind blowing in his face. They were tears of fear. Truth be told, he was scared of losing her forever, losing her to some other guy who wasn't him. He could never be happy knowing that she loved someone else.

If you love someone, let them go.

"Demo," he whispered softly into the wind, "I can't, I can't let you go, Sora."

~ I can't imagine

Life without your love

And even forever

Don't seem like long enough… ~

She leaned on the closed door, trying to wipe the image of his solemn face from her mind. It was okay to admit to herself that she missed the normal, carefree Yamato. The Yamato that she had been falling in love with.

Why did he have to tell her? She felt obliged to tell him she felt the same, but in reality, she wasn't on ready to. She wasn't sure if this really was love and she didn't know if she could love him the way that he loved her. On one hand, she was lucky to have someone who loved her that much, and yet, on the other, she was angry that he had rushed her.

There was guilt too, it wasn't fair to him. No one deserved to feel like this, no one deserved to be hurt by the one they loved most.

The memory of his blue eyes was heartbreaking.

Yamato was trying so hard to make everything seem normal. Like he didn't care how long she took to respond to him. But she knew he did. The fact that he was trying just proved his love to her, making her feel even more unworthy.

Could she live without him? Sora didn't know, but she didn't want to try to either. Yet, she needed the space. She needed to be apart from him to sort out her feelings. It was impossible to do so with him around, not when she was scared of hurting him more.

She wished that there was someone she could talk to. Miyako and Hikari were too young to really understand, Taichi was…Taichi, she didn't doubt that Jyou and Koushiro would try to help, but they really wouldn't get it. Mimi was in America and – Sora checked the time – it was too early to call her. Takeru was related to Yamato and Daisuke and Ken would be next to useless in a situation like this.

That meant…

Sora walked over to the phone and dialled the not-so-familiar number. What if she hangs up on me? Despite what she said…we're not really close friends…

"Moshi moshi, Motomiya desu."

Sora took a deep breath, "Daisuke? It's Sora, ano…is Jun there?"

There was an incredulous laugh on the other side, "Ne, Sora are you feeling okay? You want to talk to Jun?"

She should have expected this. Daisuke and Jun took things far beyond sibling rivalry sometimes. In fact, there were times when Sora felt bad for Jun. Daisuke was a great guy…but he could really push the limits sometimes. "Yes, I do. Put her on the line, Daisuke," she said, "Please."

"Okay, okay," he grumbled. There was a clatter as he dropped the phone. Sora winced; she could hear him yelling for his sister in the background.

"…shut up, Daisuke!" Jun's voice could be heard clearly and she had obviously picked up the phone receiver. There was a pause, then, "Hello?"

Sora hoped she was doing the right thing, "Jun, I need a friend."

~ Cause every time I breathe I take you in

And my heart beats again

Baby I can't help it

You keep me drowning in your love ~

They met in the park. Jun was waiting for her on one of the empty benches; she waved vigorously when she saw Sora. The auburn haired girl had to smile at her antics.

My first smile in days.

The thought unnerved her. Normally, she was the kind of person who smiled all the time. But now it seemed that smiles were harder to come by. Yamato had probably expected her to smile when he told her his feelings, he probably expected her to admit that she felt the same way. Why couldn't she have admitted that she felt the same way?

She quickened her pace slightly, but her head was still up in the clouds.

"Yamato, what is love?"

"You feel…complete around the person you love. You would do anything for them…"

Her heartbeat sounded unnaturally loud. She wondered if anyone else could hear it. I'm just being paranoid. A shiver ran up her spine and the wind seemed colder than ever.

"Everything wrong in your life doesn't matter anymore…"

Love was supposed to be happy, right? That's what it said in every romance book she'd ever read. She had never read a book that proclaimed that love was painful.

"Everything…fits."

Maybe she wasn't falling in love with Yamato. Maybe all she could do was cause him more pain. Tears stung her eyes, that was something she never wanted to do. Maybe I'm incapable of falling in love with him. It wasn't fair. She wanted to be able to love him the way he loved her, she needed to love him the way he loved her.

"When they cry, you want to cry too."

Doubt filled her heart. There were too many 'maybes' for her to comprehend. She felt…worthless. Unworthy of Yamato's love, unworthy of her crest. Have I made you cry, Yamato? Until that night, she had never seen him upset over anything; she had never seen tears in his eyes.

"And when they laugh, you want to make them laugh more."

She would do anything in her power to make Ishida Yamato happy. She would do anything to place that charming smile back where it belonged. To see him so sad, so unlike himself, was painful for her. Too painful. Do I have to let him go to make him happy again? Her throat felt dry and she swallowed several times.

"You can't live without them."

How could he be so sure? She wished she had his confidence. He truly believed that he had fallen in love with her. Therein the problem lay; she couldn't believe that someone as wonderful and caring as he was could fall in love with her. It was her insecurities that held her back, could she return that love in the way he wanted her to? She was sure he wouldn't expect anything less.

"I'll give you all the time you need."

What if that time wasn't enough? Despite his promises, she knew that he couldn't wait forever. It made no sense to wait forever. Even now she could hear his soft voice, echoing around her. Inside, she wanted to scream. He had no right to make promises like that, not if he couldn't keep them. She didn't doubt that he would wait, for awhile. But forever? Would he wait forever?

"Sora! Are you okay?"

"Jun…" The park bench, her intended destination was still a fair distance away. She shook her head to snap herself from her funk, "I- gomen nasai. I didn't realise that I'd stopped walking." 

The wild-haired girl looked at her friend concernedly, "What was so important that you asked me to meet you here?" 

Sora pulled her coat around her tightly, meeting Jun's eyes, her own coffee coloured eyes showing her confusion, "Yamato…he told me he loves me."

~ And every time I try to rise above

I'm swept away by love

And baby I can't help it

You keep me drowning in your love ~

"Hey, Yamato! You awake in there?"

"Huh?" The blonde bass player looked at his friend, his normally clear blue eyes clouded, "What is it, Rei?"

The guitar player shrugged, pushing his glasses back on to the bridge of his nose, "Oh, nothing really important. Just that it's your cue to sing!"

"Man," Yoshi sighed, his fingers landing hard on the keyboard that he was standing at, "Are you okay? You keep spacing out today. Remember, we have a performance in a couple of weeks."

Yamato plucked the strings of his bass absent-mindedly, "I know, I know," his fingers slipped and an extremely loud note rang from the sound speakers. Everyone in the room winced and Yamato ran a hand through his hair sheepishly. "I've just had a couple of things on my mind lately. I'll be fine at the concert."

He wished it was Sora running her fingers through his hair. The last time she'd done that had been on the day he'd manage to ruin the most perfect relationship he had ever had. The day he told her he loved her.

"Earth to Ishida!" Rei yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth, "Hello?! This is ground control, come in, Ishida!"

It was impossible to ignore someone yelling that loud, the rest of the band members snickered when Yamato glared at Rei. "Shut up, let's just rehearse, okay?"

Yoshi looked at his watch, "Uh, I hate to break it to you, but rehearsal time is over. It's eight-thirty, man! I need to get going."

"Me too," Rei nodded, moving to pack up his fire engine-red electric guitar, "I've got some family thing to get to tonight. Sorry." He slid the guitar into it's case and slung it on his back, "See you tomorrow."

One by one, the rest of the band headed out the door, leaving a certain blonde standing in the middle of the room, bass guitar in his hands. He groaned softly, his plan to immerse himself in music to forget about his problems with Sora was a no-go.

Not that he could stop thinking about her anyway. In any case, the whole rehearsal had been a stop-start affair. He could pin the blame on a certain copper-headed maiden, but he didn't want to. Yamato didn't believe in shifting the blame. The problems that they were experiencing were as much his fault as hers. But then, they weren't really her fault. In truth, he was willing to take full responsibility for their distance, because it was his fault.

If he hadn't told, if he had just given her some time. But no, I had to go and listen to Taichi. Sometimes Taichi gave good advice, this was definitely not one of those times. And he couldn't really blame his big-haired friend either. Taichi had just given the advice, he had been the one to take it.

Why had it seemed like a good idea at the time? Slowly, Yamato began to pack up his equipment, not really concentrating on the task. The feeling, the thought of being in love with her had weighed on him so heavily. He had needed to tell her, before he did something that he would have regretted. That was why he had chosen to tell her, because he wanted her to understand that their relationship was important to him, because he wanted to make her see how much he really cared about her.

He bit his bottom lip thoughtfully, and now he had ended up alienating her. That had to be the most cruel twist of fate in the world. Now, his own words were coming back to haunt him.

"You would do anything for them."

He had spoken the truth as he had seen it. Yes, he would do anything for Sora. Had she asked for the moon on a string, he would get it for her or die trying. Anything to see her smile.

But it was his words that had erased that smile. It had been his words that had thrown her into a spin of confusion, his words had caused her pain.

The zipper on his instrument case broke. Yamato cursed under his breath, wondering if anything else could go wrong tonight. The worn out leather case had definitely seen better days. Rooting through his bag, he found a safety pin. It would have to do.

Hah! If the fangirls could see me now…

Everyone seemed to automatically assume that, because he was talented, had the looks and an ever-growing fan club, life always went smoothly for him. That he was never insecure, that he had no problems. Only his closest friends knew the truth.

They were the people who knew how much his parent's divorce had left him with a chip as big as Mexico on his shoulder. They knew how he tended to be overprotective about Takeru because of it. They knew how much he had grown up. Sora was, had been, one of his closest friends. She had been the person he could turn to when he needed to talk his problems out.

Perhaps it was only natural that he should fall in love with her. Yamato picked up his guitar, checking to see that the safety pin would hold. He sighed again, wondering if it was wise to call her tonight.

Standing in the doorway, he flicked off the light.

~ Maybe I'm a drifter

Late at night

Cause I long for the safety

Of flowing freely in your arms ~

She should have known that he would call. A part of her was wishing he hadn't, talking to Jun had only confirmed what she knew in her heart. She needed space. Time away from him, just so she could think and gather her scattered thoughts.

Now that he had called, she would have to tell him.

She didn't want to. Space meant that she wouldn't see him, wouldn't hear his melodious voice, wouldn't see those sparkling blue eyes she so often got lost in. No, she didn't want to do that.

But she had to. They couldn't go on like this. It was tearing them apart, pretending to be close was only driving them away from each other. I can't risk losing him. Not when I don't really know how I feel. So she would tell him, she would break his heart again.

Tense fingers grasped the receiver of the black cordless phone her mother handed her. She mouthed an 'arigato', then held the phone to her ear, taking a moment to gain what little courage she could summon in such a short space of time.

"Hello?"

"Sora," even if he tried, he couldn't keep the loving tone from his voice, "Uh…I just wanted to see what you were up to."

"Oh," she struggled to keep her voice neutral, "Nothing much. I've got a lot of homework tonight. Algebra and a physics assignment."

He hated this, he hated how awkward their conversations had become lately. Somehow, finding things to say had become a struggle. He found himself watching what he said, making sure that he made no mention of love, no mention of feelings whatsoever. "So…pretty busy, huh?"

"Yeah," she said quietly, sitting down on her bed. The words stuck on the tip of her tongue, hurtful words, words that she didn't want to say, words that she had to say. "Yamato…"

"Yes?"

The almost eager tone brought tears to her eyes, "I can't do this anymore."

Silence.

Then, "So this is it?" his hand was gripping the phone so tightly that he wondered if he would break it. The knuckles were a stark white as he struggled to find something, anything, to say to her.

"I-I just need some space," she said softly, knowing that she couldn't fault him if he decided to hang up on her.

He closed his eyes, fighting tears, "Space, huh?" The blood was rushing through his head and his heart constricted painfully.

"You would do anything for them…"

A single tear slipped from under a closed eyelid and he let go. "If that's what you want," he tried to keep from getting to emotional, "Whenever you're ready," his voice shook slightly, "I'll be here waiting."

"Thank you," she whispered, tears running down her face.

The dial tone resounded dully in her head. And she allowed the phone to slip from her fingers, hitting the floor with a soft 'thud'. Then she buried her face in her hands and cried.

~ And I don't need another lover

It's not for me

Cause only you can save me

Oh, can't you see… ~

If Yagami Taichi was surprised to find his best friend sitting on the swing in the playground, he didn't show it. Instead, he took the swing next to him, waiting until Yamato was ready to talk to him. He swung slowly, the cool night breeze sweeping through his thick brown hair.

"I called Sora tonight," Yamato said at last, his blue eyes staring vacantly into the distance.

Taichi said nothing, but his swinging slowed a little, his sneakers digging into the soft ground under him.

"She told me that she needed space," Yamato sighed, "So, I'm giving her space."

Taichi stopped swinging altogether. "Last I knew," he began tentatively, "You guys had no problems at all. What happened?"

"I told her I loved her," Yamato replied quietly, his golden-blonde hair looked silver under the moonlight. The cool metal of the chains holding the swing up was strangely comforting to him. He waited for his friend's response. None came. "Well?" he asked, getting tired of waiting, "No words of wisdom?"

A shrug was his only reply, "This is your problem, dude. You can't force her to feel the same way."

"Yeah, but…" he released his hold on the chains, digging his free hand into his hair with frustration, "You know Sora. You've know her since you were, what? Five? There's got to be something I can do…" he hung his head, not wanting his friend to see the tears that stained his cheeks.

A small pebble flew across the playground, hitting the metal surface of the slide with a 'ping'. Taichi searched for something else to kick, "I have known Sora all my life, and I know that when she says she needs space, she means it." He gave his friend a sympathetic look, "It doesn't mean that she's breaking up with you. She's probably confused and needs to sort everything out in her head."

Yamato didn't want pity, he wanted a solution. He wanted, no, needed, an end to the pain in his heart. He needed Sora. He needed her because he didn't think he would be able to go on without her. Each breath without her hurt. "I just…I don't know if I want to go on without her…"

"That bad, huh?" The moonlight reflected off Taichi's brown eyes, "I'm sorry, I really am. If I could help, I would. But…I don't really know what you're going through. I've never been in a situation like this."

His friend didn't reply, choosing instead to resume staring off into space. Leaving everything hanging like this was worse than pretending everything was okay. If she had broken up with him, he could at least go about trying to win her back. But now, he didn't even know where he was in her eyes. Friend? Boyfriend? Lover?

He didn't believe that he had been wrong to initiate this relationship. He wouldn't trade those few weeks with her for anything in the world. If anything, now that the possibility of losing her was becoming more real, he treasured them. Every moment that he spent in her arms was a comfort, every kiss was a precious jewel, every smile was his joy.

"Look," Taichi spoke up at last, unable to put up with the silence, "I'll talk to her, okay? Just to see how she feels…and stuff."

Straggly tuffs of his blonde hair hung in his aquamarine eyes and impatiently, he pushed them away. "Thanks," he said softly. "I know you and Sora-"

"Sora and I are friends," Taichi offered a crooked smile, "Its okay, man. I'm not going to throw a party just because the two of you are broken up. I'll get over it."

The brown haired boy stood up, dusting off his faded jeans. He stretched slightly, and yawned, "It's getting late," he murmured, the dejected look still hadn't left Yamato's face, "I'm your friend too, man. If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me."

Yamato managed a smile, "Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow in school," he pumped his legs a little, allowing the swing to gain momentum, obviously forgetting that his friend was still there.

Taichi sighed, shaking his head, Yamato had it bad. He hoped that Sora wasn't like this.

~ I can't imagine

 Life without your love

And even forever

Don't seem like long enough ~

It was a cold, grey day, perfectly in line with her emotions. It didn't feel like spring…more like winter, and there was a blizzard going on in her heart. I wanted space, I asked for space, and this is what I got. The knowledge that Yamato was no longer in her life was gut-wrenching.

She felt hollow on the inside, like there was a gaping hole that needed to be filled. Sora pulled on her green school uniform, not really bothering to check the mirror to see how she looked. She'd had a terrible night's sleep. Yamato's broken voice kept coming back to haunt her.

"Whenever you're ready…I'll be here waiting."

What had she done to deserve a man who loved her like that? As far as she knew, she had done nothing to deserve this, nothing to deserve him. Especially since all she seemed to do was hurt him.

He'd be better off without her. She had to believe that. She would force herself to believe that if necessary. Yamato deserved someone who could love him back, someone who would never cause him pain. She wiped at the tears streaming down her face. Someone who's not me.

Sora finger combed her hair, hoping that it wasn't too much of a mess. The hollow feeling consumed her, and she knew that she didn't really care about how she looked. She just wanted Yamato back.

She needed him back.

But even now, her emotions confused her. She'd sent an email to Mimi last night, asking – no, begging – the other girl to meet her in the digital world tonight. Jun was easy enough to talk to, but she felt like she needed to talk to someone who really knew Yamato.

Why did I tell him I needed space? Perhaps it was the truth, but it was a truth that she didn't want to admit to. A truth she didn't want to believe. Her pale hand grasped the doorknob, twisting it slightly. She was scared of what she might learn.

I might find that I'm already in love with him.

The thought frightened her. Being in an all-consuming love, knowing that the other person felt the same. It was something she had never experienced before. She was scared, and in her fear, she was trying to push him away.

Mechanically, she slipped her house slippers off, putting on her school shoes and tying the laces securely. Her mother had already left for work. That was a relief; at least she didn't have to give any explanations about her behaviour.

I just hope I can last the day.

~ Cause every time I breathe I take you in

And my heart beats again

Baby I can't help it

You keep me drowning in your love ~

Would there be no end to this day? Yamato slammed his locker shut, not caring when the door bounced open again. His algebra books were tucked securely under his arm. Even the most obsessive fangirls were keeping their distance today, an ironic twist of fate.

He felt like punching something…or someone. His only glimpses of Sora had been fleeting, the sight of her copper hair just before she ducked into a classroom. Kami, he missed her so much. It had only been one day. His fingers combed roughly through his hair.

I have Geography after lunch. His stomach lurched unnervingly. Geography was one of the few classes that he and Sora had together. Under normal circumstances, he would have rejoiced, but the circumstances were by no means normal. He didn't know if he would be able to last through the hour long class without talking to her, without holding her hand.

He was going crazy. Even Taichi's pep-talk yesterday hadn't helped much. Yamato looked like a walking zombie; his normally pale skin was now a disturbing shade of white. His blue eyes were dull and there were dark rings encircling them; the result of an hours sleep last night. His usually smiling lips were drawn in a thin line, and his expression hadn't changed once today. It was no wonder people were avoiding him.

"Yamato?"

Everyone except Taichi. In a way, it was a good thing. Taichi wouldn't mind if he was completely and utterly pathetic. "Did you talk to her?"

A simple shake of the head. "Sorry, I haven't had any classes with her yet."

Yamato sighed; perhaps it was too much to hope for. After all even if Taichi managed to talk to her, there was no guarantee that she'd tell him anything.

His best friend rested a comforting hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry so much. I'll talk to her, okay?" Taichi decided that humour was his best shot at cheering Yamato up, "And try to smile a little. It'll make you look a little friendlier. You know," he added, "There's a rumour going around that you were possessed."

"Whatever."

Okay, so humour isn't the best way to go about this. Like it or not, the only that would get Yamato smiling again was Sora. Whether or not he chose to accept the mission, Taichi had to get them back together.

~ Every time I try to rise above

I get swept away by love

Baby I can't help it

You keep me drowning in your love ~

"Hey, Sora!" Taichi greeted his friend cheerfully, pretending not the notice the distracted look in her eyes, "What's up?"

She busily re-arranged her books on the scarred wooden desk in front of her. "Nothing much," it came out as a mumble. A soft sigh escaped her lips, "I hate school."

Taichi laid a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Are you okay? You seem kinda spaced out."

"Huh?" she attempted a smile, "I'm okay, really. Whatever would give you that idea Taichi?"

"Well," he studied her face closely, she looked about as bad as Yamato did. He hated how this seemed to be tearing his two best friends apart. "You look like you've been crying. You've got these horrible bags under your eyes…" he counted off on his fingers, "Want me to list more?"

She shook her head.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" he persisted gently, "Best friends and all, you know."

Sora pushed a chunk of copper-red hair out of her eyes, "Thanks, Taichi, you're a good friend," she scratched the surface of the desk with her pen, "But I really need to get this sorted out in my head first."

He smiled softly at her, "I understand," he paused for a moment, wondering if he should tell her this, "But, Sora, Yamato is really hurting over this." The concerned look she gave him told him everything he needed to know, "Just make sure you don't end up losing him forever."

Their teacher entered the room and they both fell silent. Sora stared at the exercise book in front of her, the words on the page blurring as tears filled her eyes.

~ Go on and pull me under

Cover me with dreams, yeah

Love me mouth to mouth now

You know I can't resist

Cause you're the air that I breathe ~

"Sora-chan?" The brown haired girl rushed over to her friend worriedly, "You look terrible!"

Well, she could always count on Mimi to be sincere. Sora attempted a smile, but it came out horribly wrong, causing Mimi to frown even more. "What exactly happened?" she asked, engulfing her best friend in a giant hug.

That hug was Sora's undoing. She sagged in her friend's embrace, tears making their way down her cheeks. To her complete and utter dismay, she began to sob, noisily gulping for breath. Silently, Mimi allowed her to cry out all of her frustration, leading her over to a small clearing where they could sit down.

Sora wiped at her red-rimmed eyes roughly, "I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life," she murmured in between sniffles, "I-I told Yamato that I needed – no, that I wanted – some space, a break…"

Mimi gave her another hug, "But you don't."

It was more of a statement than a question and Sora couldn't help but agree with it. Wordlessly, she nodded, tears still streaming down her face.

"So tell him that!" her pink-loving friend exclaimed, giving her a slight push, "Why are you putting yourself through so much frustration?"

She pulled her knees close to her chest, resting her chin on them. Wisps of copper-red hair fluttered around her pale face, "Because…I'm scared," she whispered softly, "I'm scared I can't love him the way he loves me. I-I don't deserve someone like him…" her eyes seemed unnaturally large and dark in the fading light.

"Why would you say something like that?" Mimi asked indignantly, "Sora, you and Yamato are perfect for each other. I always thought so…and now that the two of you have finally realised that…" Abruptly, she halted her tirade, realising that it wouldn't do much good. "Sora, tell me what you feel when you're with Yamato."

The red-head was silent for a moment, brushing the wisps of hair out of her cinnamon eyes, "Happy," she said at last. "It's like I can't stop smiling, like nothing can ever go wrong."

Mimi nodded slowly, indicating that she should continue.

She traced obscure patterns on the ground with a slender finger, "I-I…it's almost like," she struggled to find the words she needed, "I need to be around him." A soft sigh slipped past her tense lips, "This has been the worst day I have ever had. It's like I need him to breathe, and it hurts when he's not around…" A sob caught in her throat and she wiped at her eyes again.

"You love him."

Sora shook her head vigorously, "No. I can't, I can't love him…"

"Why not?" Mimi interrupted, "And don't say that it's because he's too good for you or something like that. You know that that's not true."

"I don't even know what love is." Sora said softly, "Ironic, isn't it? I have the crest of love and I don't know what it means."

She sniffled again, and Mimi handed her a tissue, "Sora, no one knows exactly what love is. It's just this big mystery, and that's part of the fun." Mimi smiled at her, pearly white teeth gleaming in the moonlight. "I know that Yamato loves you, and I get the feeling that you feel the same way. The only thing holding you back is yourself."

"What if he doesn't want me back?"

Mimi laughed, her brown eyes sparkling with amusement, "He'll want you back. If he doesn't, I'll go over there and beat some sense into him."

Her first real laugh of the day bubbled past her lips, and her fears seemed completely unfounded. Sora hugged Mimi again, "Domo arigato, Mimi-chan."

~ Cause every time I breathe I take you in

And my heart beats again

Baby I can't help it

You keep me drowning in your love ~

He staggered out of bed, the blankets tangling around his legs causing him to fall to the ground with a 'thud'. Was there no end to this day? All he wanted to do was sleep, his one and only escape from the hell that was currently his life. The luminous numbers of his digital clock gleamed a malevolent red in the darkened room, telling him that it was only ten-thirty and that the day was far from over.

Climbing to his feet, he brushed his wild blonde hair from his eyes. The knocking at the door persisted. Not for the first time, he wished his father didn't have to work late. "I'm coming!" he yelled in a voice hoarse from sleep, "Just hold on!"

He threw open his bedroom door, staggering into the dark hallway. His fingers fumbled along the wall, searching in vain for the elusive light switch. A curse escaped his mouth when he walked into the potted plant; the one thing preventing him from reaching the switch.

And still, the knocking continued.

Keys jangling wildly, he unlocked the door, "What the hell is so damned important that-" he stopped as the door swung open and he realised who it was. "S-Sora," he stammered, "What are you – I mean, I thought…Come in," he said at last, stepping back so she could enter the room.

"I'm sorry for coming so late…"

He waved off her apology with a weak smile, "Its okay, you just caught me by surprise, that's all."

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air.

Yamato studied her with his icy blue eyes, she seemed nervous, playing with the silver tennis bracelet that adorned her left wrist. He cleared his throat noisily, "Are you okay?"

She nodded quickly, swallowing, "Yamato…I-I've been…I mean, uh…" Her coffee-brown eyes remained fixed on her white, lace-up sneakers. Why is this so hard? "I'm sorry," she said at last.

"What for? You never did anything wrong, Sora." He longed to rush over to her side and hold her in his arms, kissing her and reassuring her that everything was okay. But he couldn't. He couldn't because for the moment he was nothing more than a friend, he had no real hold on her. Is she trying to break up with me? His hands clenched into fists, he couldn't – wouldn't – let that happen.

"I made a mistake," she said softly, still refusing to meet his eyes, "I-I said I needed time…and I've had enough time."

His throat felt dry and he wet his lips nervously, wondering if this was it. This was their break-up scene. "And?" he questioned hoarsely.

"I-" she took a deep breath, "It took me awhile to get there…but I love you, Yamato." Her eyes met his, those blue orbs that she loved – yes, she allowed herself to luxury of using that word now – so much. Please, Yamato…tell me you love me too…

The breath he had been holding rushed past his lips noisily and he pulled her into his arms, planting baby kisses along her jaw line. She loves me…she loves me! "Sora…" he whispered softly, "You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that."

She laughed softly, nuzzling against his neck, breathing the fresh scent of him, that mixture of cologne, sweat and an essential part that was purely Yamato. "I love you," she said again, "I think I didn't know it until now."

Soft lips pressed against hers and she allowed him to kiss her thoroughly, letting her arms rest loosely around his neck. She'd missed being close to him the most, not the physical closeness, but knowing that he would be there for her no matter what, knowing that he didn't have to understand her completely to love her.

I love you, Ishida Yamato…and we'll be forever, I know it.

~ Every time I try to rise above

I get swept away by love

Baby I can't help it

You keep me drowning in your love ~

~~*~~

A/N: Hey guys, I am so sorry this has taken so long!! *bows deeply* I was working, then my computer pretty much died on me, and now school has started again. To top it off, I got a minor case of writer's block…and so you see the result…a month to write a chapter. Thank you to everyone who has been so patient with me and to all the reviewers, thank you so much…I love you guys! I hope you haven't forgotten about this wee story. Please review this chapter too J Criticism is always welcome, especially since the writing style of this chapter may be a little messed up…

Yamato: A little? More like a lot…

Hey! You're meant to inspire, not criticise!

Yamato: Inspire…criticise…it all seems the same to me…

*writes in little note book* …make sure Yamato wears apron in next chapter…

Yamato: WHAT?? You can't do that!!

*checks name tag* It says 'author' right here…I can do whatever I want with this fic.

Yamato: NOOOOO!! WHERE IS THE JUSTICE??

Website: Cherry Blossoms & Ki Blasts

Got a fic you want me to host? Email me!

I know the website has been up and down these last couple of weeks. It's because envy.nu is overloaded with people going there and the server has been down or too busy. If anyone knows of a good server I could move to…or if someone wants to host my page…let me know.

Y Happy Valentines Day! Y

© 2002-02-11

Abi