A/N: Well, I'm back from three extremely exhausting days. LOL Three children are definately ten times worse than one, so I bow down to all of you that handle that situation on a full time basis. LOL
Another couple chapters to go before we start getting into the fun stuff I have planned for this fic, so just bear with me for a little while longer. Again, a great thanks to all of you who've left reviews, I do appreciate them more than words can say. :)
As always, reviews here or by email are welcomed, encouraged, and desperately craved. I'm only doing a base beta on these first chapters until the story is better situated in my mind, but things should be fairly well checked over. Also, any ideas that you may have regarding small M/L scenes for future parts would be greatly appreciated as well. I don't tend to write fun stuff, I tend more to dwell on the traumatic psychological fun, so ideas for fluffy parts are always welcome. :)
They're so obviously not mine. I just like to borrow them sometimes and mutate their inner voices. What can I say? It's fun. Meanwhile, Cameron, Eglee and Fox are still getting all the cash.
Fight or Flight
Part Seven: Confliction and Indecisiveness
By: Danae Bowen
Email: logansfox@rogers.com
When Max awoke the following morning, a pair of chocolate brown eyes, staring down at her in annoyance, greeted her sleep fogged gaze.
"'Bout time you opened those pretty dark eyes of yours, boo. Was beginning to wonder if I wasn't gonna hafta kill ya 'n someone beat me to the job."
Max blinked in the bright light filtering into her bedroom. "Huh?" She squinted and stared up at Cindy in confusion, trying to clear her still sleep clouded mind.
"Now, Original Cindy's got large patience where her home girl is concerned, but ditching me at Crash with Sketchy and no prospect of lovin' in sight is pushin' my limits. So, either you tell your girl that you just sleepin' off a night of rattlin' Logan's bedposts, or I'm gonna hafta kick your sorry date-breakin' ass."
"Sorry."
Cindy blinked and frowned down at the nearly unresponsive Max, furrowing her brow in concern. "Jesus, boo, what's got you? You so down you gonna take me with you 'n ruin that charmin' personality of mine."
Max sighed and stretched out onto her back, resting her hands over her head and staring at the ceiling. "What's wrong with me?"
"What d'ya mean?"
"Logan's all into this romance shit: the gifts, the dinners, the poetry... why can't I just go with it? Why can't I just be an ordinary girl for once and quit thinking about Manticore 'n the virus 'n shit? Why does everything gotta come back to that?"
"Boo, it ain't makin' you any less ordinary to worry 'bout the long run. You just got shit to deal with no one else understands."
"But Logan understands, and he's still pushing it. Shouldn't that mean something?"
Cindy raised her eyebrows and settled in next to Max, wrapping her arm around Max's shoulders. "Doesn't it mean everything?"
"It should, but I don't know what it means anymore."
"Boo, Original Cindy ain't blind. This shit's tearing you all up inside, but only a fool ever said love was easy. If you ain't ready, you ignore everything Original Cindy told you the other day, and you march over there 'n tell the boy you ain't down with this shit just yet. Otherwise, pretty soon he's gonna be spilling his guts 'n you just gonna run scared."
"I *am* down with it, girl, that's just it! I *want* to feel what he's making me, but not now! Not with the virus, not when I'm poison to him, not now and maybe not ever!" For the second time in twenty-four hours, tears came to Max's eyes and she balled her fists up tight as she struggled to regain emotional control.
"Boo, we goin' over the same shit each time we talk. Now Original Cindy ain't complainin', but you gotta be talkin' to your boy 'bout this. A home girl can only do so much."
"You can do one thing for me..." Max's voice quivered even as a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips, pushing away thoughts of Logan as she met Cindy's eyes.
"Tell Normal your ass ain't gonna be draggin' through the doors of hell today?"
"Yeah. Tell him I died. Again."
Cindy laughed and climbed to her feet. "You too much, boo."
"Sometimes I really think so."
"Max," Cindy leaned down and caught Max's eye. "You take Original Cindy's advice and tell Mr. Tower-in-the-Sky to back off some if you feelin' so wrong. Just make sure you tellin' him the truth."
"What happened to the girl telling me to go with the flow?"
Cindy shrugged. "That girl only seen her boo cry once. If going with it is gonna rip you up more than ignoring it, then screw the world. Do what's best for you."
"And to think I was hoping for encouragement."
Cindy rolled her eyes. "Go, boo, go."
"Funny." Even through her sarcasm, however, Max was forced to give Cindy a sincere smile.
"Hey, whatever works, right?"
*****
Logan glanced down at the two small boxes on the table in front of him. Two pieces of wrapping paper sat next to the boxes and he silently debated which of the two presents to give to Max that evening. Slowly a plan began to form in his mind, and he moved the smaller of the two boxes into a drawer for the next night. With a smile he began to wrap the remaining gift.
When he was finished with the last bit of wrapping, Logan turned and picked up the telephone, dialing the number for Max's work.
"Jam Pony." Normal's annoyed voice met Logan's ears, and the younger man blinked.
"Could I speak to Max, please?"
"You mean the lazy ass do nothing who thinks she's gonna get by in this world by batting her eyes and relying on her body? She's "sick". Now stop bothering me."
The phone went dead, and Logan was left reeling. Normal seemed to get less and less tolerable each time they spoke. Instead of dwelling, however, Logan dialed the number for Max's apartment. His frown deepened when the phone continued to ring with no answer. A slow worry began to burn inside his chest; he'd not called Max the day before to give her space in case she needed to think over the poetry he'd given her. He'd never been able to put voice to the words he'd always wanted to say to her, and his poetry was the closest he could get to letting her know the feelings that were on the tip of his tongue each time they spoke. He frowned again. She'd seemed to have accepted the poetry without too much emotional uprising, but perhaps the time away had given her too much time to think and she'd chosen to run after all.
He frowned harder and dialed again, this time the number to Max's pager. When he ended the call, Logan glanced down at the small wrapped box, picking it up and tossing it into the air, catching it and repeating the action as he waited for endless minutes for the phone to ring. He was beginning to think that Max wasn't going to call back when finally the sharp shrill of the cordless made him jump, dropping the box to the floor.
He grabbed the phone, answering it with a breathless, "Hey," as he leaned down and retrieved Max's present.
"Hitting you back."
"Busy?"
"Not really. Just killin' time. Didn't feel like puttin' up with Normal's shit today, so I bagged."
"Yeah, I called. So, where are you?"
Logan held his breath as he waited for Max's response. "At the market. Why, you need something?"
He hesitated, swallowing hard. "Well, not really need, but if you wouldn't mind stopping by, I'd love to have you for lunch."
"You would, would you?" The humor in her voice was clearly evident, ripples of laughter lightening her words.
He sighed and shook his head, his low chuckle traveling across the phone line. "You know what I meant."
"Yeah, I guess I could swing by for a while."
"Great. So, uh, an hour then?"
"Yeah, that'll work."
Logan frowned once more, catching something in the tone of Max's voice to which he couldn't quite put a name. "Max? You all right?"
"Yeah, fine, why?"
"Nothing, it's just... nothing." He shook his head, deciding to let her come to him if she wanted to discuss whatever it was that was bothering her.
"'Kay. Late."
The phone went silent, and Logan sighed. He would almost kill to know what had happened to Max between Tuesday night and this morning, but he had to let Max move certain things at her own pace. It was enough that Logan was pushing her towards being with him without pushing her into sharing thoughts and feelings she'd kept private for far too many years.
******
Max slowly biked through the market. When she left the apartment an hour after Cindy had gone to work, she'd considered taking her motorcycle out onto the streets of Seattle and riding until she out ran the strange emotions that were threatening to slowly drive her out of her mind. Still, the last thing she wanted to do that day was call upon herself the attention of the Sector Police, or even that of White or the remaining free transgenics. She had no interest in getting herself caught up in any sort of adventure until she had her personal life straightened out; she was confused enough as it was without adding into it the guilt she felt whenever a transgenic found his or her way into life threatening situations. So instead of the attention drawing motorcycle, Max climbed onto her bicycle and pedaled through the city incognito.
When Logan paged her, Max's heart leapt into her throat, and for several minutes she considered not calling him back. She cycled around the market, glancing into stalls as she considered her options silently. When she found herself stopping in front of a payphone, Max realized that she'd subconsciously already decided to find out what Logan wanted and she dialed his number by memory.
Max's nerves kept her answers short and clipped as she spoke to Logan, her tension breaking only as his invitation to lunch came out mangled and made her laugh. Only Logan could possibly make the request for lunch into a sexual innuendo without realizing what he was saying. Max's answers became easier as they finished the conversation, and yet, still, Logan was able to pick up on her tension. It amazed her how in tune he could be to her emotions when she was still unsure of them herself.
She stalled for a while after hanging up with him, dawdling around the market as she waited for enough time to pass before heading over to Fogle Towers. She pedaled slowly, taking her time as she crossed sectors, flashing her sector pass easily as she continued her leisurely journey. Having spent several years working for Jam Pony, Max knew the streets well, however, and arrived at Fogle Towers within the passing of an hour.
She wheeled the bike into the elevator, keying the car to take her to Logan's penthouse as she waited with half excitement, half trepidation for yet another few stolen hours with the man that owned her heart, no matter how much she tried to deny it. She walked through the door without knocking, pushing her hesitation to the back of her mind as she strolled through the apartment, checking the kitchen for Logan before heading into the living room. He was standing by the window, looking out over the city, one hand resting in the pocket of the loose slacks he wore over the exosuit, and she smiled.
"Hey."
He grinned and turned around, his blue eyes meeting her brown as he glanced at her and walked forward. "Hey, yourself. Any trouble on the way over?"
She shook her head. "Nah. All's still pretty quiet. Roads are passable, at least now. Probably be sheets of ice by tonight."
"Hey, if they're too bad, you're welcome to stay in the guest room."
She chuckled softly, dropping onto the sofa and propping her feet up on the coffee table. "Yeah, and give Original Cindy more cause to drill me when I get home. Nah, I'll make it home okay. Nine lives."
He gave her a small smile and shook his head. "How many do you think you have left?"
She shrugged. "Oh, five or six at least." She grinned. "Enough to be frivolous once or twice."
He grinned. "Just don't lose count. Didn't know what you'd want for lunch, so I thought we'd decide together."
Max shrugged, slipping down deeper onto the sofa, resting her hands behind her head as she tracked his movements across the living room. "Not really hungry anyway."
Max's refusal of food and the tone of her voice caused Logan to pause. "Did you want to talk, then?"
She sighed. "Yes and no."
"Which is it, Max?"
"We should talk, but I don't know what I want to say yet."
He nodded, easing himself into a chair across from Max, watching emotions flicker across her face. "Whenever you're ready." When she said nothing for several minutes, Logan's fingers closed around the box in his pocket, and he took it out slowly. "Listen, you don't have to open this now, just take it. There's a note inside that will help explain what it means."
Max's face took on a sudden expression of mortal terror as she took the small box from his fingers, remembering Cindy's words from two days before about rings and weddings. "Logan, you shouldn't have..."
Logan couldn't stop the hurt from clutching at his heart as he noticed her pained look, but still amusement over her immediate and quite obvious suspicions won out, and it was the latter emotion that flashed in his eyes. "Relax. It's nothing major. I saw it at the market the other day and wanted you to have it. But like I said, the note will explain."
He climbed to his feet once more and moved into the kitchen. Max was left alone, staring at the wrapped box now more in curiosity than in terror. Her fingers plucked at the delicate wrapping paper, pulling the edges open and trying to see what existed beneath, hidden from her sight.
"Logan?" She raised her voice to carry through the apartment.
"Max?"
"Do I have to wait to open this?"
His chuckle caused a slight blush to rise and stain Max's cheeks, but his words were warm and welcoming as they floated over to her. "You can open it any time you'd like."
His laughter grew louder as the sound of ripping wrapping paper filled the apartment, followed moments later by Max's gasp of surprise. His expression sobered, however, when her gasp was followed by the sound of the box hitting the floor, and a worried look filled his eyes.
"Max?"
Fear gripped at him once more when his call was met by silence.
End Part Seven
Another couple chapters to go before we start getting into the fun stuff I have planned for this fic, so just bear with me for a little while longer. Again, a great thanks to all of you who've left reviews, I do appreciate them more than words can say. :)
As always, reviews here or by email are welcomed, encouraged, and desperately craved. I'm only doing a base beta on these first chapters until the story is better situated in my mind, but things should be fairly well checked over. Also, any ideas that you may have regarding small M/L scenes for future parts would be greatly appreciated as well. I don't tend to write fun stuff, I tend more to dwell on the traumatic psychological fun, so ideas for fluffy parts are always welcome. :)
They're so obviously not mine. I just like to borrow them sometimes and mutate their inner voices. What can I say? It's fun. Meanwhile, Cameron, Eglee and Fox are still getting all the cash.
Fight or Flight
Part Seven: Confliction and Indecisiveness
By: Danae Bowen
Email: logansfox@rogers.com
When Max awoke the following morning, a pair of chocolate brown eyes, staring down at her in annoyance, greeted her sleep fogged gaze.
"'Bout time you opened those pretty dark eyes of yours, boo. Was beginning to wonder if I wasn't gonna hafta kill ya 'n someone beat me to the job."
Max blinked in the bright light filtering into her bedroom. "Huh?" She squinted and stared up at Cindy in confusion, trying to clear her still sleep clouded mind.
"Now, Original Cindy's got large patience where her home girl is concerned, but ditching me at Crash with Sketchy and no prospect of lovin' in sight is pushin' my limits. So, either you tell your girl that you just sleepin' off a night of rattlin' Logan's bedposts, or I'm gonna hafta kick your sorry date-breakin' ass."
"Sorry."
Cindy blinked and frowned down at the nearly unresponsive Max, furrowing her brow in concern. "Jesus, boo, what's got you? You so down you gonna take me with you 'n ruin that charmin' personality of mine."
Max sighed and stretched out onto her back, resting her hands over her head and staring at the ceiling. "What's wrong with me?"
"What d'ya mean?"
"Logan's all into this romance shit: the gifts, the dinners, the poetry... why can't I just go with it? Why can't I just be an ordinary girl for once and quit thinking about Manticore 'n the virus 'n shit? Why does everything gotta come back to that?"
"Boo, it ain't makin' you any less ordinary to worry 'bout the long run. You just got shit to deal with no one else understands."
"But Logan understands, and he's still pushing it. Shouldn't that mean something?"
Cindy raised her eyebrows and settled in next to Max, wrapping her arm around Max's shoulders. "Doesn't it mean everything?"
"It should, but I don't know what it means anymore."
"Boo, Original Cindy ain't blind. This shit's tearing you all up inside, but only a fool ever said love was easy. If you ain't ready, you ignore everything Original Cindy told you the other day, and you march over there 'n tell the boy you ain't down with this shit just yet. Otherwise, pretty soon he's gonna be spilling his guts 'n you just gonna run scared."
"I *am* down with it, girl, that's just it! I *want* to feel what he's making me, but not now! Not with the virus, not when I'm poison to him, not now and maybe not ever!" For the second time in twenty-four hours, tears came to Max's eyes and she balled her fists up tight as she struggled to regain emotional control.
"Boo, we goin' over the same shit each time we talk. Now Original Cindy ain't complainin', but you gotta be talkin' to your boy 'bout this. A home girl can only do so much."
"You can do one thing for me..." Max's voice quivered even as a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips, pushing away thoughts of Logan as she met Cindy's eyes.
"Tell Normal your ass ain't gonna be draggin' through the doors of hell today?"
"Yeah. Tell him I died. Again."
Cindy laughed and climbed to her feet. "You too much, boo."
"Sometimes I really think so."
"Max," Cindy leaned down and caught Max's eye. "You take Original Cindy's advice and tell Mr. Tower-in-the-Sky to back off some if you feelin' so wrong. Just make sure you tellin' him the truth."
"What happened to the girl telling me to go with the flow?"
Cindy shrugged. "That girl only seen her boo cry once. If going with it is gonna rip you up more than ignoring it, then screw the world. Do what's best for you."
"And to think I was hoping for encouragement."
Cindy rolled her eyes. "Go, boo, go."
"Funny." Even through her sarcasm, however, Max was forced to give Cindy a sincere smile.
"Hey, whatever works, right?"
*****
Logan glanced down at the two small boxes on the table in front of him. Two pieces of wrapping paper sat next to the boxes and he silently debated which of the two presents to give to Max that evening. Slowly a plan began to form in his mind, and he moved the smaller of the two boxes into a drawer for the next night. With a smile he began to wrap the remaining gift.
When he was finished with the last bit of wrapping, Logan turned and picked up the telephone, dialing the number for Max's work.
"Jam Pony." Normal's annoyed voice met Logan's ears, and the younger man blinked.
"Could I speak to Max, please?"
"You mean the lazy ass do nothing who thinks she's gonna get by in this world by batting her eyes and relying on her body? She's "sick". Now stop bothering me."
The phone went dead, and Logan was left reeling. Normal seemed to get less and less tolerable each time they spoke. Instead of dwelling, however, Logan dialed the number for Max's apartment. His frown deepened when the phone continued to ring with no answer. A slow worry began to burn inside his chest; he'd not called Max the day before to give her space in case she needed to think over the poetry he'd given her. He'd never been able to put voice to the words he'd always wanted to say to her, and his poetry was the closest he could get to letting her know the feelings that were on the tip of his tongue each time they spoke. He frowned again. She'd seemed to have accepted the poetry without too much emotional uprising, but perhaps the time away had given her too much time to think and she'd chosen to run after all.
He frowned harder and dialed again, this time the number to Max's pager. When he ended the call, Logan glanced down at the small wrapped box, picking it up and tossing it into the air, catching it and repeating the action as he waited for endless minutes for the phone to ring. He was beginning to think that Max wasn't going to call back when finally the sharp shrill of the cordless made him jump, dropping the box to the floor.
He grabbed the phone, answering it with a breathless, "Hey," as he leaned down and retrieved Max's present.
"Hitting you back."
"Busy?"
"Not really. Just killin' time. Didn't feel like puttin' up with Normal's shit today, so I bagged."
"Yeah, I called. So, where are you?"
Logan held his breath as he waited for Max's response. "At the market. Why, you need something?"
He hesitated, swallowing hard. "Well, not really need, but if you wouldn't mind stopping by, I'd love to have you for lunch."
"You would, would you?" The humor in her voice was clearly evident, ripples of laughter lightening her words.
He sighed and shook his head, his low chuckle traveling across the phone line. "You know what I meant."
"Yeah, I guess I could swing by for a while."
"Great. So, uh, an hour then?"
"Yeah, that'll work."
Logan frowned once more, catching something in the tone of Max's voice to which he couldn't quite put a name. "Max? You all right?"
"Yeah, fine, why?"
"Nothing, it's just... nothing." He shook his head, deciding to let her come to him if she wanted to discuss whatever it was that was bothering her.
"'Kay. Late."
The phone went silent, and Logan sighed. He would almost kill to know what had happened to Max between Tuesday night and this morning, but he had to let Max move certain things at her own pace. It was enough that Logan was pushing her towards being with him without pushing her into sharing thoughts and feelings she'd kept private for far too many years.
******
Max slowly biked through the market. When she left the apartment an hour after Cindy had gone to work, she'd considered taking her motorcycle out onto the streets of Seattle and riding until she out ran the strange emotions that were threatening to slowly drive her out of her mind. Still, the last thing she wanted to do that day was call upon herself the attention of the Sector Police, or even that of White or the remaining free transgenics. She had no interest in getting herself caught up in any sort of adventure until she had her personal life straightened out; she was confused enough as it was without adding into it the guilt she felt whenever a transgenic found his or her way into life threatening situations. So instead of the attention drawing motorcycle, Max climbed onto her bicycle and pedaled through the city incognito.
When Logan paged her, Max's heart leapt into her throat, and for several minutes she considered not calling him back. She cycled around the market, glancing into stalls as she considered her options silently. When she found herself stopping in front of a payphone, Max realized that she'd subconsciously already decided to find out what Logan wanted and she dialed his number by memory.
Max's nerves kept her answers short and clipped as she spoke to Logan, her tension breaking only as his invitation to lunch came out mangled and made her laugh. Only Logan could possibly make the request for lunch into a sexual innuendo without realizing what he was saying. Max's answers became easier as they finished the conversation, and yet, still, Logan was able to pick up on her tension. It amazed her how in tune he could be to her emotions when she was still unsure of them herself.
She stalled for a while after hanging up with him, dawdling around the market as she waited for enough time to pass before heading over to Fogle Towers. She pedaled slowly, taking her time as she crossed sectors, flashing her sector pass easily as she continued her leisurely journey. Having spent several years working for Jam Pony, Max knew the streets well, however, and arrived at Fogle Towers within the passing of an hour.
She wheeled the bike into the elevator, keying the car to take her to Logan's penthouse as she waited with half excitement, half trepidation for yet another few stolen hours with the man that owned her heart, no matter how much she tried to deny it. She walked through the door without knocking, pushing her hesitation to the back of her mind as she strolled through the apartment, checking the kitchen for Logan before heading into the living room. He was standing by the window, looking out over the city, one hand resting in the pocket of the loose slacks he wore over the exosuit, and she smiled.
"Hey."
He grinned and turned around, his blue eyes meeting her brown as he glanced at her and walked forward. "Hey, yourself. Any trouble on the way over?"
She shook her head. "Nah. All's still pretty quiet. Roads are passable, at least now. Probably be sheets of ice by tonight."
"Hey, if they're too bad, you're welcome to stay in the guest room."
She chuckled softly, dropping onto the sofa and propping her feet up on the coffee table. "Yeah, and give Original Cindy more cause to drill me when I get home. Nah, I'll make it home okay. Nine lives."
He gave her a small smile and shook his head. "How many do you think you have left?"
She shrugged. "Oh, five or six at least." She grinned. "Enough to be frivolous once or twice."
He grinned. "Just don't lose count. Didn't know what you'd want for lunch, so I thought we'd decide together."
Max shrugged, slipping down deeper onto the sofa, resting her hands behind her head as she tracked his movements across the living room. "Not really hungry anyway."
Max's refusal of food and the tone of her voice caused Logan to pause. "Did you want to talk, then?"
She sighed. "Yes and no."
"Which is it, Max?"
"We should talk, but I don't know what I want to say yet."
He nodded, easing himself into a chair across from Max, watching emotions flicker across her face. "Whenever you're ready." When she said nothing for several minutes, Logan's fingers closed around the box in his pocket, and he took it out slowly. "Listen, you don't have to open this now, just take it. There's a note inside that will help explain what it means."
Max's face took on a sudden expression of mortal terror as she took the small box from his fingers, remembering Cindy's words from two days before about rings and weddings. "Logan, you shouldn't have..."
Logan couldn't stop the hurt from clutching at his heart as he noticed her pained look, but still amusement over her immediate and quite obvious suspicions won out, and it was the latter emotion that flashed in his eyes. "Relax. It's nothing major. I saw it at the market the other day and wanted you to have it. But like I said, the note will explain."
He climbed to his feet once more and moved into the kitchen. Max was left alone, staring at the wrapped box now more in curiosity than in terror. Her fingers plucked at the delicate wrapping paper, pulling the edges open and trying to see what existed beneath, hidden from her sight.
"Logan?" She raised her voice to carry through the apartment.
"Max?"
"Do I have to wait to open this?"
His chuckle caused a slight blush to rise and stain Max's cheeks, but his words were warm and welcoming as they floated over to her. "You can open it any time you'd like."
His laughter grew louder as the sound of ripping wrapping paper filled the apartment, followed moments later by Max's gasp of surprise. His expression sobered, however, when her gasp was followed by the sound of the box hitting the floor, and a worried look filled his eyes.
"Max?"
Fear gripped at him once more when his call was met by silence.
End Part Seven