[authors note] in the last part of this chapter i have incorporated music into the story. it is "be your man" by the odds. if you haven't heard it, listening to it (i think) will really add to the drama of the scene since i did write the whole scene with this song in mind). but i have also provided the lyrics in between '' and ''. so please enjoy.
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"So you're leaving tonight?" Kendra had to confirm what she had just been told.
"Yeah," said Max, packing her clothes away in a bag. She didn't dare look Kendra in the eye. Not because the constant threat of tears, but because the last time she saw her roommate was in the arms of her own personal anti-Christ. After much debating Max had decided it was for the best if she didn't get involved at all. If all Deck knew about Kendra was that she was willing to get it on with him, she would be all the safer.
"And you're leaving for good?"
"Not for good, I don't think."
"But without you, how will I handle the unruly tenants who try and steal all the hot water and electricity?" Kendra said with a half-smile, still not fully believing that Max was leaving for Canada.
"I'm sure you'll manage, I mean you were here long before I was. Could you hand me that shirt over there?" Kendra lifted the shirt with both hands and seemed to be feeling the material between her fingers.
"Knock, knock," Original Cindy was at the door, the rest of the Jam Pony crew following behind.
"So you're really serious about this then? You're gonna leave us to deal with Normal by ourselves? I mean there is only so long you can mock the man." Sketchy's joking was the only way he knew how to handle this distraught feeling.
"I have a feeling that time will never come."
"Max, I love ya like a sistah and may the big Man in the sky guide you on your way. And in the words of the great Bob Marley, 'Life is one big road with lots of signs, so when you riding thru the ruts, don't complicate your mind.'"
"That was deep man," Sketchy said, though it was obvious he didn't fully understand the application of the quote.
After much teary eyed packing Max was finally ready to leave. She gave hugs all around and couldn't help but let a few tears escape her eyes. Kendra and Original Cindy had tears streaking their faces, Herbal's eyes shined on the brink of sniffles, and Sketchy tried to hold all his emotions back but finally let loose a tear which he quickly wiped away.
Strapping the last bag to her ninja she was off to her last stop before Canada. It was a confrontation that had played itself over and over again in her mind since the moment she decided she had to leave.
*****
"You've seen the other X-5? Who are they?" Zack's eyes had now transformed into those of an inquiring child. It was apparent that he was interested in hearing of the family he left behind. Obviously, since Zack or any of the others would have no way of knowing who had remained at Manticore, even with their hacking skills the Manticore database was virtually impregnable.
He was awaiting her answer, sitting backwards on the only chair in the simple one room apartment, with his arms crossed over the back. Raven sat opposite him on the bed, her legs crossed and her back arrow straight.
"I believe their names are Oz, Alic and Dawn and there are two others that I have yet to work with. Then there's Brin of course." Raven counted off the X-5 she knew.
"Only five?" Zack had tried to prepare himself for the worst but he could not help but be shocked at the news. Including those killed for research and murdered during the escape that meant eleven dead. His voice filled with grief, he mumbled to himself "Only five survived that night?"
"Why did you escape in the first place?" Raven finally voiced the one question that had been bugging her. She remembered back those years ago, when she overheard Lydecker and Mathews discussing the escape. The X-5 at Manticore that she worked with were never any help when she asked about that night or anything before. It was as though the very memories had been ripped from their minds.
Zack's eyes seemed to glaze over as he spoke of his childhood. "Unlike you, the X-5 are flawed. We have seizures due to a lack of seratonin. You saw that the other night," he avoided her eyes for that moment, ashamed to have shown her such a weakness, "But they didn't know that at the time. So whenever one of us began to seize they would be taken away so that an autopsy could be preformed on their still warm bodies…"
Raven gasped. She never knew Manticore would kill its own soldiers. It had never happened while she had been there. Many of her group would be disciplined but they would always return to their beds at night, alive and well. If any of those under her command were ruthlessly murdered for simple research, would she standby and let something like that happen? If Ty or Hawk or May or any of the others were to develop a strange defect, would she stare straight ahead as they dragged the body away?
"…The night Max began to seize…I couldn't lose another to those bastards. I couldn't lose Max."
The mere mention of her name brought another question to Raven's lips. "Why did Max leap in front of me?"
Zack laughed and shook his head as he was beginning to relax around her now. Maybe he finally realized that is she hadn't turned him in while he was in that weakened state, right beside a Manticore base of operations, that maybe she wasn't out to capture them at all. Though most likely the injection played a crucial role, letting him relax as he knew he could defend himself. "Nobody knows why Max does what she does. It's a part of who she is. But I have a feeling that it had something to do with what Lydecker was talking about."
"You mean the fact that you are my father and she is my mother?" Beneath his clothing she could see his muscles tense. The reference to him as her sire seemed to have caught him off guard. But it was true was it not? She may have been born from a different womb but her genes belonged to Zack and Max.
"Yeah, I guess so."
Raven drew up her knees now, still puzzling Max's actions. It was one of those rare moments where Raven looked like a typical helpless pre-teen . "But it makes no tactical sense, the loss is far greater than the gain."
"To protect the ones you believe you have a responsibility to, there can be no loss so long as they are alive." Once it was said allowed Zack realized that he had just summed up his life in a sentence. Sadly, according to himself, he had suffered great losses.
"Why would she believe she has a responsibility to me? I tried to kill her."
"You're made of her. She probably felt that it was because of her you were created, and that it was her fault you had to grow up in a place like Manticore." He may not have really known what Max had felt, but that was how he felt. And with the knowledge of the loss of eleven of his brothers and sisters, he felt the need to extend his protection to include this young child.
*****
Raven had learned many things during her talk with Zack. Not just from what he said but how he acted. It seemed he had this intense sense of responsibility towards those who were under is command and she was just like him in that sense. He also spoke of his other siblings, and the lives that they were leading. Careful to leave out any specific details as to their whereabouts, Raven noted. One was a baker, one was a mechanic, they lived such different lives than what they were fated to do. Could it be that a simple life was more appealing? After hours of talking about life both in and out of Manticore she almost felt guilty for what she was about to do.
She sat in the washroom after excusing herself from Zack's presence, and after turning on the shower she pulled out a small pocket messaging device. If she didn't report to the Major, he would become concerned and send out some X-6 on a search and rescue operation. At the moment that was the last thing she wanted. She couldn't turn Zack and Max in just yet. Slowly and quietly she typed in the message she meant to send:
Major Mathews, Infiltrated X-5. Raven.
A small read button stared at her as she finished typing her name. Four little letters seemed to taunt her: Send. Would she really do this? It seemed the world wasn't as black and white as she had been taught that it was. The world wasn't split up into good and evil, predator and prey. Each individual was a mixture of both and she cringed to think about those she had killed without a second thought in the past. Could she really facilitate the capture of the X-5 when she realized, that if put in their position, she would have done the same thing? But to not report back went against every grain of her being and at least by doing so she had some control over the future. If not control than at least a warning. So she sent the message, watching as each letter was encrypted and the jumble of symbols was sent to Major Mathew's station. It was a short wait before the small screen silently flashed, warning of an incoming message. She watched as the meaningless symbols transformed back into English.
Raven, Objective successful. Location? Ty will be sent. Mathews
If Ty was sent it would be over. Max and Zack would be at Manticore before the sun rose the next morning. He was her second in command and together they would make short work or the X-5 pair.
Major Mathews, Time requested to locate more targets. Raven.
There was a longer wait as Major Mathews considered her request. She held her breath as she awaited his response.
Raven, Request granted. End transmission. Mathews.
After closing the communicator, she pulled the elastic from her ponytail. The midnight hair fell a quarter of the way down her back and she stared at her image in the small mirror that hung lopsidedly above the sink. She had only been away for a day and her view of the world was changing. Soaking her hair, she made it look like she had in fact taken a shower, as she told Zack she would, she wrapped her head in a towel and exited the bathroom.
*****
The penthouse filled with the scents of culinary masterpieces. After exhausting his eyes scouring the informant net, Logan had to bide his time until Max came somehow. He had left to go gather the ingredients for the meal that afternoon and it was remarkable. While in the marketplace a pickpocket was running away from his latest victim. As the young boy was staring over his shoulder at his pursuer he did not know that he was on a collision course with Logan and his wheelchair. All Logan could do was brace himself for the impact. But as he did, his leg muscles tensed as well. The rest of the shoppers must have thought he was crazy but Logan really didn't care that the people stared at him as he raced about the marketplace, hysterical with happiness. He was that much closer to walking.
Finally he got a hold of himself and went home to cook. Laughing all the while as his muscle control returned to him. He couldn't believe it, as he was able to, though only briefly, lift one leg up an inch. Soon, it would be very soon.
It was not a feast for a king, as the current economy denied him such a luxury, but a simple and elegant candlelit meal with desert warming in the oven. He glanced nervously at his watch.
7:40
Logan had been debating with himself all day. Should he tell Max tonight that he had a good chance of walking or be more dramatic and, during another romantic dinner such as this, stand and walk over to her? It all boiled down to if he could wait that long. Little did he know that he wouldn't even get the chance.
The doorbell chimed and he caught himself speeding to the door. Slowing, he took a deep breath, composing himself before he reached for the knob, still undecided as to what he should tell her.
"Dr. Marion!" She was the last person Logan had expected to see at his door at this time of the day. Her hair was up and she was wearing a gown with a shawl around her shoulders.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"Oh, no, not at all."
"I just realized after looking at your chart that I was staying in the same building with my sister, she lives three floors down. I thought I might as well drop by to check up on you. Maybe I should have called first."
"No, it's fine. Though it would have been nice to know that this was a black tie checkup, I feel severely underdressed."
"Oh this?" she blushed looking down at her dress, "I was just off to a banquet so... how are your legs doing?" She kneeled down and placed a hand on his knee.
"Excellent. I have sensation in them already."
"Good. You are on track with the others. Can you control any major muscle groups yet?"
"Yeah, this afternoon I was able to tense my thighs."
"If you continue with your shots and daily exercise, you could be walking the day after tomorrow. Luckily your legs haven't been out of use long enough to develop any severe atrophy so you won't have to worry about strengthening them."
"Thank you again doctor,"
"Call me Alyssa. And there is really no need to thank me."
"What do you mean? You are giving me back my legs when everyone else said it was impossible. Thank you, Alyssa."
"I'll drop by another time," she stood now, looking over him at the two person dinner he had prepared, "but I'll remember to call first." She winked at him and turned to push the button to call up the elevator.
"Any time, I'll be happy to show you my progress." From within the apartment the stove buzzer sounded.
"I'll let you get back to your preparations. Good night, Logan."
"Good night." Logan shut the door to check on the desert. He tried to calm himself down in anticipation of Max's arrival.
*****
The ride up the elevator to Logan's penthouse never seemed so long before. Agonizing seconds crawled by as she waited for that last floor. Was she really up for this? Quite frankly she didn't believe that she was. In the few months that she had known Logan she felt something develop between them. It was this delicate thing, like a thread of spiders silk ... maybe too delicate at times. But he was her anchor, her "home safe" in this game of tag she was playing with Manticore. Logan being there for her would never change, he promised her as much that one night. She couldn't help but smile at the memory, his warmth beside her, his heart so strong and constant beneath her ear. Never before had she awoken more rested. Now, she was going to leave all of that behind.
There were so many chances to leave before but she put it off to stay that much longer. With Manticore just outside the city limits, she had no other option now. She couldn't delay any longer. It was best for her and best for Logan. ' Yeah right, Max, keep telling yourself that and maybe one day you'll believe it '
How was she supposed to say goodbye?
Finally the elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open. As the doors parted they revealed a striking woman who looked like she was ready to walk down the red carpet. Her blonde hair was swept up into a twist and her simple white gown complemented her nicely. Who was this woman, and why was she smiling as she was leaving Logan's apartment?
Suddenly without warning Max froze as she got lost in a flashback. It was one of those ones that haunted her more frequently.
'It was another restless night. Her and Jondy hardly ever slept like the rest of the children but this night Max couldn't sleep because of what had happened earlier that day.
It was the final objective to be completed. Infiltrate the enemy base and recover data. Simple enough. That is, until Randy suddenly dropped in front of her and began to convulse, his eyes glazing over as his body shook. Seconds later soldiers swooped in to drag Randy away. It was like he had never existed as the operation continued without another hitch.
On the way back to the compound she didn't remembered how she got separated from the rest of the group. She remembered watching as her hand shook. The tremors had only started a week ago but she was able to hide them well, others were not so lucky. Soon, she found herself wandering a dark hallway. A door was ajar at the far end of the hall, a sliver of light spilling through. Curiosity took over and she stealthily made her way to the source of the light. Peeking through the crack she saw Randy's naked body laid out on a sterile metallic examination table. His chest was wrenched open with clamps, nurses and doctors surrounding his body, an old man requesting a scalpel had one hand deep into the open cavity. '
"Are you getting off here?" the woman's voiced sliced through the memory, abruptly ending the flashback.
"Uh yeah…" Max stepped out of the escalator and the woman stepped in. As the doors began to close again, Max turned to study the woman's face. Why would this woman remind her of that night?
Turning to again face Logan's doors she tried to put the thought out of her mind. This had more precedence at the moment. Trying to calm her nerves, she opted not to ring the doorbell (she never had to ring it before) nor just walk in (which was what she was used to doing). Instead she quietly knocked on the door. Though she knew the woman was out of sight, she turned again anyways, trying to remember the lady's face and why it brought that particular memory streaming through her consciousness.
*****
More calmly this time, he went to the door and opened it. Now it was Max who stood before him, her head was turned as she seemed to be watching the elevator. He took a quick moment to admire her beauty before he spoke. She may have been wearing her typical clothes, black pants, a t-shirt, and her leather jacket, but there was no way she could tone down her beauty. It was all he could do, not to reach out to touch her smooth skin. Her dark hair just caught the light, and shined with highlights of red and brown. In her presence the world just fell away. Sometimes he would have to remind himself that she was real, because she was so perfect. It still amazed him how he had her in his life at all.
Could it be you're the one?
Maybe I'm now the lucky guy
"Hey."
"Hey, Logan. Who was that?"
"Just a doctor that is working with Dr. Carr and myself."
"So…Why was she all dolled up?"
"That wouldn't be jealousy would it?"
Her soft cheeks reddened with a blush. Max stepped into the apartment, trying to hide her face. "No." she tried to laugh the accusation away, knowing Logan was only kidding. But she couldn't deny it, she was jealous.
He let out a playful sigh of relief, "Good, cause I don't think the world could handle an envious killing machine."
"So, why are you looking so chipper? Did Mr. Eyes Only put away his daily quota of baddies?"
"Nope. It's just an all around good day."
"The sun is shining and all that jazz?" She smiled but her eyes seemed to droop with some heavy burden.
Or should I turn and run,
It's so easy to see that I
Would wash your feet
And fill your womb
And I would be your man
"I guess you could say something like that. You said we needed to talk, shall we do it over dinner? I made some-"
"No." she interrupted abruptly.
"Max? What's going on?" He was really anxious now, the smile dropped from his face.
"Logan." It looked as though the girl who knew what to say in every situation, was having trouble finding the words. "Lydecker has made a base of operations at Colonel Sanders' former headquarters. Manticore is just outside the city."
He went pale. In the back of his head Zack's voice seemed to mock him, 'You can do 'nothing ' for her', 'You will get her killed', 'I thought you would have been above selfishness'. If she stayed here with him it would only be a matter of time before they caught her. There was no other choice.
But it hurts to know that I don't think I can
"Then you have to leave Seattle."
"We're leaving for Canada tonight." She confirmed his words.
Though he may have known that she had to leave, he never would have expected it to be so soon. He didn't know what to say.
Is it gonna hurt if we try
Is this the calm before the storm
Finally she broke the silence. "My offer from the cabin still stands, you know."
Well we may skip like stones
Or you could pull me from the mud
But he knew the answer to that, without even having to think. "I don't want to slow you down."
"That's just Zack talking." She shook her head, dismissing the comment.
"You know he's right though, Max. The three of you on the run would have more important things to worry about than finding wheelchair accessible window's to leap through." He smiled, hoping to at least tug up that right corner of her lips. Now was not the time to mention that he would be walking soon. News like that might tip the scales and make her stay, and he knew she couldn't stay.
And I would wash your feet
And fill your womb
And I would be you man
But it hurts to know that I don't think I can
Glad that some of the tension had been broken she did smile, "Hey, at least you're a free ticket to handicap parking. You know how parking is a bitch downtown."
Their comedic respite was a short one.
I will miss the songs and stories
And the things you brought in
"Zack, won't approve."
"Well, he knows where he can stick it."
"Max. You'll be on the run. I would be an unnecessary burden. I don't want to do that. How would I live with myself knowing that I was the catalyst to getting you captured or killed? There is no other way. You have to go."
Could it be it's been so long
I can't love you I've forgotten how
At this moment he never regretted anything more than that first day she came back to his apartment. He could still remember how she smelt like the wind, as he pulled her toward the mirror. Back then the excitement overtook him as he found the barcode on her neck, but now, more than anything, he wished that he had kissed her instead. Maybe his life would have been different if he had, for that one instant, put aside Eyes Only, and did what he truly desired.
The pleading look in Max's eyes seemed to say, 'Just give me one reason to stay. Tell me to stay and I will.' But he couldn't bring himself to tell her how he would be walking soon for her. There was no way he would tell her now how he loved her and would keep her safe, because he knew, against Manticore, he could do no such thing. He inched closer to her and reached for her hand. "Just don't forget me."
I'm shy, once bitten
Though I'm desperate I keep my place
Gently he pulled her down, and she did not resist, placing a hand on his thigh to support herself. That simple touch sent shivers up his spine. Using his other hand he swept a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. "Please don't forget." With that he kissed her, softly yet with all the passion for her that had brewed in him since the moment he first pointed a gun at her.
She pulled back, reluctantly, and couldn't find any words to respond. Through that kiss their relationship was now revealed, no barriers, no secrets, but raw emotions laid out before each of them. Too bad, it was too late to do anything about it.
Max started to step back, knowing that if she stayed any longer she would never be able to leave. So she didn't say a word, wanting, instead, to commit every line of his face to memory. Just as she turned to leave, he called out to her.
If nothing is written
Must you leave me without a trace
"Max."
She turned instantly, hoping he would say those few words that would make her stay forever.
"Be careful." Max could not help but smile through her sorrow. The common phrase was a comfort. It made it feel like she would only be out for the night, and that she would be back in the morning.
When I would wash your feet
And fill your womb
And I would be your man
"As always." It took so much effort just to say two words without crying. Feeling the tears begin to burn in her eyes, she once again turned to leave, walking quickly out of the apartment and towards the stairs, not willing to wait for the elevator.
Logan sat staring at where she had left, paralyzed this time by grief.
But it hurts to know that I don't think I can...
-----------------------------------
"So you're leaving tonight?" Kendra had to confirm what she had just been told.
"Yeah," said Max, packing her clothes away in a bag. She didn't dare look Kendra in the eye. Not because the constant threat of tears, but because the last time she saw her roommate was in the arms of her own personal anti-Christ. After much debating Max had decided it was for the best if she didn't get involved at all. If all Deck knew about Kendra was that she was willing to get it on with him, she would be all the safer.
"And you're leaving for good?"
"Not for good, I don't think."
"But without you, how will I handle the unruly tenants who try and steal all the hot water and electricity?" Kendra said with a half-smile, still not fully believing that Max was leaving for Canada.
"I'm sure you'll manage, I mean you were here long before I was. Could you hand me that shirt over there?" Kendra lifted the shirt with both hands and seemed to be feeling the material between her fingers.
"Knock, knock," Original Cindy was at the door, the rest of the Jam Pony crew following behind.
"So you're really serious about this then? You're gonna leave us to deal with Normal by ourselves? I mean there is only so long you can mock the man." Sketchy's joking was the only way he knew how to handle this distraught feeling.
"I have a feeling that time will never come."
"Max, I love ya like a sistah and may the big Man in the sky guide you on your way. And in the words of the great Bob Marley, 'Life is one big road with lots of signs, so when you riding thru the ruts, don't complicate your mind.'"
"That was deep man," Sketchy said, though it was obvious he didn't fully understand the application of the quote.
After much teary eyed packing Max was finally ready to leave. She gave hugs all around and couldn't help but let a few tears escape her eyes. Kendra and Original Cindy had tears streaking their faces, Herbal's eyes shined on the brink of sniffles, and Sketchy tried to hold all his emotions back but finally let loose a tear which he quickly wiped away.
Strapping the last bag to her ninja she was off to her last stop before Canada. It was a confrontation that had played itself over and over again in her mind since the moment she decided she had to leave.
*****
"You've seen the other X-5? Who are they?" Zack's eyes had now transformed into those of an inquiring child. It was apparent that he was interested in hearing of the family he left behind. Obviously, since Zack or any of the others would have no way of knowing who had remained at Manticore, even with their hacking skills the Manticore database was virtually impregnable.
He was awaiting her answer, sitting backwards on the only chair in the simple one room apartment, with his arms crossed over the back. Raven sat opposite him on the bed, her legs crossed and her back arrow straight.
"I believe their names are Oz, Alic and Dawn and there are two others that I have yet to work with. Then there's Brin of course." Raven counted off the X-5 she knew.
"Only five?" Zack had tried to prepare himself for the worst but he could not help but be shocked at the news. Including those killed for research and murdered during the escape that meant eleven dead. His voice filled with grief, he mumbled to himself "Only five survived that night?"
"Why did you escape in the first place?" Raven finally voiced the one question that had been bugging her. She remembered back those years ago, when she overheard Lydecker and Mathews discussing the escape. The X-5 at Manticore that she worked with were never any help when she asked about that night or anything before. It was as though the very memories had been ripped from their minds.
Zack's eyes seemed to glaze over as he spoke of his childhood. "Unlike you, the X-5 are flawed. We have seizures due to a lack of seratonin. You saw that the other night," he avoided her eyes for that moment, ashamed to have shown her such a weakness, "But they didn't know that at the time. So whenever one of us began to seize they would be taken away so that an autopsy could be preformed on their still warm bodies…"
Raven gasped. She never knew Manticore would kill its own soldiers. It had never happened while she had been there. Many of her group would be disciplined but they would always return to their beds at night, alive and well. If any of those under her command were ruthlessly murdered for simple research, would she standby and let something like that happen? If Ty or Hawk or May or any of the others were to develop a strange defect, would she stare straight ahead as they dragged the body away?
"…The night Max began to seize…I couldn't lose another to those bastards. I couldn't lose Max."
The mere mention of her name brought another question to Raven's lips. "Why did Max leap in front of me?"
Zack laughed and shook his head as he was beginning to relax around her now. Maybe he finally realized that is she hadn't turned him in while he was in that weakened state, right beside a Manticore base of operations, that maybe she wasn't out to capture them at all. Though most likely the injection played a crucial role, letting him relax as he knew he could defend himself. "Nobody knows why Max does what she does. It's a part of who she is. But I have a feeling that it had something to do with what Lydecker was talking about."
"You mean the fact that you are my father and she is my mother?" Beneath his clothing she could see his muscles tense. The reference to him as her sire seemed to have caught him off guard. But it was true was it not? She may have been born from a different womb but her genes belonged to Zack and Max.
"Yeah, I guess so."
Raven drew up her knees now, still puzzling Max's actions. It was one of those rare moments where Raven looked like a typical helpless pre-teen . "But it makes no tactical sense, the loss is far greater than the gain."
"To protect the ones you believe you have a responsibility to, there can be no loss so long as they are alive." Once it was said allowed Zack realized that he had just summed up his life in a sentence. Sadly, according to himself, he had suffered great losses.
"Why would she believe she has a responsibility to me? I tried to kill her."
"You're made of her. She probably felt that it was because of her you were created, and that it was her fault you had to grow up in a place like Manticore." He may not have really known what Max had felt, but that was how he felt. And with the knowledge of the loss of eleven of his brothers and sisters, he felt the need to extend his protection to include this young child.
*****
Raven had learned many things during her talk with Zack. Not just from what he said but how he acted. It seemed he had this intense sense of responsibility towards those who were under is command and she was just like him in that sense. He also spoke of his other siblings, and the lives that they were leading. Careful to leave out any specific details as to their whereabouts, Raven noted. One was a baker, one was a mechanic, they lived such different lives than what they were fated to do. Could it be that a simple life was more appealing? After hours of talking about life both in and out of Manticore she almost felt guilty for what she was about to do.
She sat in the washroom after excusing herself from Zack's presence, and after turning on the shower she pulled out a small pocket messaging device. If she didn't report to the Major, he would become concerned and send out some X-6 on a search and rescue operation. At the moment that was the last thing she wanted. She couldn't turn Zack and Max in just yet. Slowly and quietly she typed in the message she meant to send:
Major Mathews, Infiltrated X-5. Raven.
A small read button stared at her as she finished typing her name. Four little letters seemed to taunt her: Send. Would she really do this? It seemed the world wasn't as black and white as she had been taught that it was. The world wasn't split up into good and evil, predator and prey. Each individual was a mixture of both and she cringed to think about those she had killed without a second thought in the past. Could she really facilitate the capture of the X-5 when she realized, that if put in their position, she would have done the same thing? But to not report back went against every grain of her being and at least by doing so she had some control over the future. If not control than at least a warning. So she sent the message, watching as each letter was encrypted and the jumble of symbols was sent to Major Mathew's station. It was a short wait before the small screen silently flashed, warning of an incoming message. She watched as the meaningless symbols transformed back into English.
Raven, Objective successful. Location? Ty will be sent. Mathews
If Ty was sent it would be over. Max and Zack would be at Manticore before the sun rose the next morning. He was her second in command and together they would make short work or the X-5 pair.
Major Mathews, Time requested to locate more targets. Raven.
There was a longer wait as Major Mathews considered her request. She held her breath as she awaited his response.
Raven, Request granted. End transmission. Mathews.
After closing the communicator, she pulled the elastic from her ponytail. The midnight hair fell a quarter of the way down her back and she stared at her image in the small mirror that hung lopsidedly above the sink. She had only been away for a day and her view of the world was changing. Soaking her hair, she made it look like she had in fact taken a shower, as she told Zack she would, she wrapped her head in a towel and exited the bathroom.
*****
The penthouse filled with the scents of culinary masterpieces. After exhausting his eyes scouring the informant net, Logan had to bide his time until Max came somehow. He had left to go gather the ingredients for the meal that afternoon and it was remarkable. While in the marketplace a pickpocket was running away from his latest victim. As the young boy was staring over his shoulder at his pursuer he did not know that he was on a collision course with Logan and his wheelchair. All Logan could do was brace himself for the impact. But as he did, his leg muscles tensed as well. The rest of the shoppers must have thought he was crazy but Logan really didn't care that the people stared at him as he raced about the marketplace, hysterical with happiness. He was that much closer to walking.
Finally he got a hold of himself and went home to cook. Laughing all the while as his muscle control returned to him. He couldn't believe it, as he was able to, though only briefly, lift one leg up an inch. Soon, it would be very soon.
It was not a feast for a king, as the current economy denied him such a luxury, but a simple and elegant candlelit meal with desert warming in the oven. He glanced nervously at his watch.
7:40
Logan had been debating with himself all day. Should he tell Max tonight that he had a good chance of walking or be more dramatic and, during another romantic dinner such as this, stand and walk over to her? It all boiled down to if he could wait that long. Little did he know that he wouldn't even get the chance.
The doorbell chimed and he caught himself speeding to the door. Slowing, he took a deep breath, composing himself before he reached for the knob, still undecided as to what he should tell her.
"Dr. Marion!" She was the last person Logan had expected to see at his door at this time of the day. Her hair was up and she was wearing a gown with a shawl around her shoulders.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"Oh, no, not at all."
"I just realized after looking at your chart that I was staying in the same building with my sister, she lives three floors down. I thought I might as well drop by to check up on you. Maybe I should have called first."
"No, it's fine. Though it would have been nice to know that this was a black tie checkup, I feel severely underdressed."
"Oh this?" she blushed looking down at her dress, "I was just off to a banquet so... how are your legs doing?" She kneeled down and placed a hand on his knee.
"Excellent. I have sensation in them already."
"Good. You are on track with the others. Can you control any major muscle groups yet?"
"Yeah, this afternoon I was able to tense my thighs."
"If you continue with your shots and daily exercise, you could be walking the day after tomorrow. Luckily your legs haven't been out of use long enough to develop any severe atrophy so you won't have to worry about strengthening them."
"Thank you again doctor,"
"Call me Alyssa. And there is really no need to thank me."
"What do you mean? You are giving me back my legs when everyone else said it was impossible. Thank you, Alyssa."
"I'll drop by another time," she stood now, looking over him at the two person dinner he had prepared, "but I'll remember to call first." She winked at him and turned to push the button to call up the elevator.
"Any time, I'll be happy to show you my progress." From within the apartment the stove buzzer sounded.
"I'll let you get back to your preparations. Good night, Logan."
"Good night." Logan shut the door to check on the desert. He tried to calm himself down in anticipation of Max's arrival.
*****
The ride up the elevator to Logan's penthouse never seemed so long before. Agonizing seconds crawled by as she waited for that last floor. Was she really up for this? Quite frankly she didn't believe that she was. In the few months that she had known Logan she felt something develop between them. It was this delicate thing, like a thread of spiders silk ... maybe too delicate at times. But he was her anchor, her "home safe" in this game of tag she was playing with Manticore. Logan being there for her would never change, he promised her as much that one night. She couldn't help but smile at the memory, his warmth beside her, his heart so strong and constant beneath her ear. Never before had she awoken more rested. Now, she was going to leave all of that behind.
There were so many chances to leave before but she put it off to stay that much longer. With Manticore just outside the city limits, she had no other option now. She couldn't delay any longer. It was best for her and best for Logan. ' Yeah right, Max, keep telling yourself that and maybe one day you'll believe it '
How was she supposed to say goodbye?
Finally the elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open. As the doors parted they revealed a striking woman who looked like she was ready to walk down the red carpet. Her blonde hair was swept up into a twist and her simple white gown complemented her nicely. Who was this woman, and why was she smiling as she was leaving Logan's apartment?
Suddenly without warning Max froze as she got lost in a flashback. It was one of those ones that haunted her more frequently.
'It was another restless night. Her and Jondy hardly ever slept like the rest of the children but this night Max couldn't sleep because of what had happened earlier that day.
It was the final objective to be completed. Infiltrate the enemy base and recover data. Simple enough. That is, until Randy suddenly dropped in front of her and began to convulse, his eyes glazing over as his body shook. Seconds later soldiers swooped in to drag Randy away. It was like he had never existed as the operation continued without another hitch.
On the way back to the compound she didn't remembered how she got separated from the rest of the group. She remembered watching as her hand shook. The tremors had only started a week ago but she was able to hide them well, others were not so lucky. Soon, she found herself wandering a dark hallway. A door was ajar at the far end of the hall, a sliver of light spilling through. Curiosity took over and she stealthily made her way to the source of the light. Peeking through the crack she saw Randy's naked body laid out on a sterile metallic examination table. His chest was wrenched open with clamps, nurses and doctors surrounding his body, an old man requesting a scalpel had one hand deep into the open cavity. '
"Are you getting off here?" the woman's voiced sliced through the memory, abruptly ending the flashback.
"Uh yeah…" Max stepped out of the escalator and the woman stepped in. As the doors began to close again, Max turned to study the woman's face. Why would this woman remind her of that night?
Turning to again face Logan's doors she tried to put the thought out of her mind. This had more precedence at the moment. Trying to calm her nerves, she opted not to ring the doorbell (she never had to ring it before) nor just walk in (which was what she was used to doing). Instead she quietly knocked on the door. Though she knew the woman was out of sight, she turned again anyways, trying to remember the lady's face and why it brought that particular memory streaming through her consciousness.
*****
More calmly this time, he went to the door and opened it. Now it was Max who stood before him, her head was turned as she seemed to be watching the elevator. He took a quick moment to admire her beauty before he spoke. She may have been wearing her typical clothes, black pants, a t-shirt, and her leather jacket, but there was no way she could tone down her beauty. It was all he could do, not to reach out to touch her smooth skin. Her dark hair just caught the light, and shined with highlights of red and brown. In her presence the world just fell away. Sometimes he would have to remind himself that she was real, because she was so perfect. It still amazed him how he had her in his life at all.
Could it be you're the one?
Maybe I'm now the lucky guy
"Hey."
"Hey, Logan. Who was that?"
"Just a doctor that is working with Dr. Carr and myself."
"So…Why was she all dolled up?"
"That wouldn't be jealousy would it?"
Her soft cheeks reddened with a blush. Max stepped into the apartment, trying to hide her face. "No." she tried to laugh the accusation away, knowing Logan was only kidding. But she couldn't deny it, she was jealous.
He let out a playful sigh of relief, "Good, cause I don't think the world could handle an envious killing machine."
"So, why are you looking so chipper? Did Mr. Eyes Only put away his daily quota of baddies?"
"Nope. It's just an all around good day."
"The sun is shining and all that jazz?" She smiled but her eyes seemed to droop with some heavy burden.
Or should I turn and run,
It's so easy to see that I
Would wash your feet
And fill your womb
And I would be your man
"I guess you could say something like that. You said we needed to talk, shall we do it over dinner? I made some-"
"No." she interrupted abruptly.
"Max? What's going on?" He was really anxious now, the smile dropped from his face.
"Logan." It looked as though the girl who knew what to say in every situation, was having trouble finding the words. "Lydecker has made a base of operations at Colonel Sanders' former headquarters. Manticore is just outside the city."
He went pale. In the back of his head Zack's voice seemed to mock him, 'You can do 'nothing ' for her', 'You will get her killed', 'I thought you would have been above selfishness'. If she stayed here with him it would only be a matter of time before they caught her. There was no other choice.
But it hurts to know that I don't think I can
"Then you have to leave Seattle."
"We're leaving for Canada tonight." She confirmed his words.
Though he may have known that she had to leave, he never would have expected it to be so soon. He didn't know what to say.
Is it gonna hurt if we try
Is this the calm before the storm
Finally she broke the silence. "My offer from the cabin still stands, you know."
Well we may skip like stones
Or you could pull me from the mud
But he knew the answer to that, without even having to think. "I don't want to slow you down."
"That's just Zack talking." She shook her head, dismissing the comment.
"You know he's right though, Max. The three of you on the run would have more important things to worry about than finding wheelchair accessible window's to leap through." He smiled, hoping to at least tug up that right corner of her lips. Now was not the time to mention that he would be walking soon. News like that might tip the scales and make her stay, and he knew she couldn't stay.
And I would wash your feet
And fill your womb
And I would be you man
But it hurts to know that I don't think I can
Glad that some of the tension had been broken she did smile, "Hey, at least you're a free ticket to handicap parking. You know how parking is a bitch downtown."
Their comedic respite was a short one.
I will miss the songs and stories
And the things you brought in
"Zack, won't approve."
"Well, he knows where he can stick it."
"Max. You'll be on the run. I would be an unnecessary burden. I don't want to do that. How would I live with myself knowing that I was the catalyst to getting you captured or killed? There is no other way. You have to go."
Could it be it's been so long
I can't love you I've forgotten how
At this moment he never regretted anything more than that first day she came back to his apartment. He could still remember how she smelt like the wind, as he pulled her toward the mirror. Back then the excitement overtook him as he found the barcode on her neck, but now, more than anything, he wished that he had kissed her instead. Maybe his life would have been different if he had, for that one instant, put aside Eyes Only, and did what he truly desired.
The pleading look in Max's eyes seemed to say, 'Just give me one reason to stay. Tell me to stay and I will.' But he couldn't bring himself to tell her how he would be walking soon for her. There was no way he would tell her now how he loved her and would keep her safe, because he knew, against Manticore, he could do no such thing. He inched closer to her and reached for her hand. "Just don't forget me."
I'm shy, once bitten
Though I'm desperate I keep my place
Gently he pulled her down, and she did not resist, placing a hand on his thigh to support herself. That simple touch sent shivers up his spine. Using his other hand he swept a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. "Please don't forget." With that he kissed her, softly yet with all the passion for her that had brewed in him since the moment he first pointed a gun at her.
She pulled back, reluctantly, and couldn't find any words to respond. Through that kiss their relationship was now revealed, no barriers, no secrets, but raw emotions laid out before each of them. Too bad, it was too late to do anything about it.
Max started to step back, knowing that if she stayed any longer she would never be able to leave. So she didn't say a word, wanting, instead, to commit every line of his face to memory. Just as she turned to leave, he called out to her.
If nothing is written
Must you leave me without a trace
"Max."
She turned instantly, hoping he would say those few words that would make her stay forever.
"Be careful." Max could not help but smile through her sorrow. The common phrase was a comfort. It made it feel like she would only be out for the night, and that she would be back in the morning.
When I would wash your feet
And fill your womb
And I would be your man
"As always." It took so much effort just to say two words without crying. Feeling the tears begin to burn in her eyes, she once again turned to leave, walking quickly out of the apartment and towards the stairs, not willing to wait for the elevator.
Logan sat staring at where she had left, paralyzed this time by grief.
But it hurts to know that I don't think I can...