Interlude three:
Inside the mind of insecurity/switching POV
They're not coming. He's not coming. They probably don't even know that I'm gone. matt does. The fear and worry on his face had me aching to hold him. I bet he hasn't even found Tai and Davis yet. I can't have been down here that long. He hasn't found them, and they don't know, and that's why they haven't come yet.
I am so cold. My hands are pink from the cold, and I would wager most of my money that my lips are blue. I'm shaking so badly that the sound of my teeth chattering has begun to echo. The thing in the shadows has kept away. It's still waiting, but I refuse to give in.
Maybe they've decided taht I'm not worth it. I mean, Davis has TK, and Tai has Izzy. Matt can have anyone on the face of the planet that he wants. Why would he want me? With his looks and popularity, people of both genders flock to him. Why would he want some tarnished genius with a bad past? I'm glad that I won't be around to see him date someone else. I don't think that I could stand to watch.
I started walking at some point in time, and I'm still managing to put one foot in front of the other. Each step is torture, and my toes are on the point of numbness. There's still a shroud of darkness, but the thing that's waiting for me has slipped away. I'm glad. It was starting to make me feel funny.
I think, all in all, that I'll miss my friends. I won't see Matt's next concert, or Davis play in the city tournament. I'll miss graduation, and the final dances. No career, no marriage. At least I won't have to worry about ending up with some woman that I will never love. See, there's an up side to everything. I won't have to take my final exams, and I won't have to worry about the tests to get into college. I won't have to worry about failing or embarrassing myself.
And I'll miss the blue of Matt's eyes, and the way Davis is always staring at Takaishi. I'll miss his wedding, and their first date. I'll never see my mother again, or have her worry about me again.
I won't take this. I won't! My life is not going to be screwed up by some evil creature that hides itself in the shadows. I will not be beaten, I will not be taken advantage of! I've already been there once in this life. I will not be manipulated a second time.
Ichijouji Ken is his own master. He is in charge.