A/N: Sorry about the wait! I think I'm almost done this, maybe a couple more chapters. I didn't intend it to be very long, sort of a prequel to the next fic I'm going to write called "Corrupted". Hopefully I'll get that started as soon as this is finished. Anywayz, enjoy!!! Pls continue to READ and REVIEW!!!!
WARNING: This chapter contains R-NC 17 material. You don't have to read it if you don't want to. The "material" will start and end with this: ~~~~~~~~, not this:**, so don't get confused. Just skip through that if you don't want to read it. But please read the rest of this chapter!
Chapter Seven
The light enveloped us again, returning us to the magical wood where Cigry and Legolas still waited. My mind was whirring and buzzing, trying desperately to process everything I had learned. There was a dull ache in my chest, that had seemed to arrive the moment I realized my brothers weren't my brothers anymore. I felt slightly lonely, half expecting Simeon or Domic to appear out of nowhere and wrap a loving arm around my shoulder. I knew they would never come and find me though. I knew that they didn't even remember me now. But I was teaching myself to ignore this, and except it, because I knew as well that dwelling on the past would do me no good.
The moment my feet touched solid ground again, I could sense Legolas start to move forward, start to cry out "Are you ok?!" and envelop me in a protective hug. Instinctively, I backed away, even before opening my eyes. When I did, I saw him standing close by, a look of utter longing and hurt shining like a beacon from his clear blue eyes. I could tell he wanted to embrace me. I had sensed it almost from the very beginning. He could feel my pain, and wanted to help me, wanted to protect me any way he could. I wouldn't let him though. He was still a man, an Elf at that, and men I could not depend on, no matter how convincing they may be. I had learned from my father that Elves were not to be trusted in the concerns of humans. He had always told me that they did not care for the races of Dwarves or Men, liking to keep to themselves. Legolas might seem like a gentle and caring Elf, but I knew very little of him, and did not trust him as much as I would want.
"Are you ok?" he still asked, and I could see the envy in his eyes as Cigry went to embrace Hasana, placing a light kiss on her forehead.
"I'm fine" I replied, averting my eyes from them. I was feeling very tired, and wanted to leave as soon as possible.
Legolas nodded, taking a slight step forward. He began to raise his arm to offer guidance, but with an almost aggravated sigh, it dropped back to his side. I did not feel sorry for him. He had to understand my wishes, and honor them. If not, I knew I could not be in his presence.
Cigry backed away from my sister, turning to face me, a look of respect on his face. He made a quick sign with his fingers, so fast I barely caught it. Hasana told me later that it meant peace and safe travelling. I nodded in acknowledgement, trying and failing at making the same sign. He laughed a little, a smile tugging at his lips.
"Well." He said, sounding very final, "It seems you must go now. I fear darkness is at your heels, and you cannot lead them here. Hasana will take you back to your camp, and we ask that you do not stay. Leave what you can behind and travel south. Stay at the ruin of Orthanc and wait for the enemy, for it draws near."
Legolas looked insulted.
"Wait for the enemy?!" he cried. "How can you ask that of us?!"
"It is what you must do. The Azaad-Lûd have left Mordor and are searching for you. I believe Sauron wishes to keep you captive, to assure your safety, until the True Ring has taken your life."
I was confused.
"The Azaad-Lûd?"
Cigry's face suddenly became very dark, a flicker or fear and anger flashing across his eyes. His lips were pressed firmly together, his chin set. He drew in a rattling breath before answering my question.
"The Azaad-Lûd are the fiery spawn of the Balrog." He began, his voice deep and dripping with hatred. I shivered unconsciously, my gaze never leaving his face. "They are giant wolf-like monsters wreathed in flame, born entirely of anger and pain. Their gait rumbles and cracks the earth beneath them, their howl can bring a man to madness. They have no eyes, instead sockets as dark and endless as the Eye of Sauron...." His gaze jumped to my hand, where the True Ring was swirling and hissing. I realized it was burning me again, but I could not feel it. The skin was too raw, the veins long since singed and destroyed. I could not feel anything there now. With a dreadful shudder, Cigry continued.
"I have never seen one myself, for they are only of myth, and summoned only when Sauron sees it fit. But I know these creatures are more than tales to frighten children. I have heard them in my dreams for very long now, and have seen their eye-less sockets. I know Sauron has released them, and now, they are bent on one thing, and one thing only. Finding you."
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Legolas stiffen, his body go ridged. His clear blue orbs were on me, his penetrating gaze seeing right through me.
"Then we must flee." He said.
The minute the words left his mouth, the silence was slashed as a deafening howl screamed through the air, long and horrible like millions dying at once. The entire forest, the ground beneath our feet seemed to shudder with fear as it peeled through the sky, and I felt my throat constrict, all thoughts leaving me.
Cigry's word was true.
In the distance, thunder rumbled like the roaring of a great beast. But I knew it was not thunder. I could almost see the gruesome creatures that Cigry spoke of. I could feel myself drowning mercilessly in the never ending darkness of the eye-less sockets. They were coming. We could not stay.
Another howl answered the first, just as horrible and blood chilling as the one before it, if not worse. They were getting closer.
"We have to go." I said suddenly, my hand whipping out to grasp Legolas in a vice like grip. "Now."
Without words of parting, we shot off through the foliage, my heart growing colder the farther I was from Hasana. She would not follow us. Neither would Cigry. They were to stay in the forest, to somehow watch me in their mysterious ways, to keep an eye on the girl who was much more than a girl.
I released my hand from Legolas' wrist, noticing a faint bruise forming on his ivory skin. I opened my mouth to apologize, but yet again the cries of the Azaad-Lûd echoed across the earth, sounding much closer than they should. We continued to run, all the while silent tears streaming from my eyes. Never before had I been so scared. Never had I felt terror grip me like it did now. I was barely comforted by Legolas' presence, for I knew he could do nothing to stop the monsters that followed us. He was just a single Elf with a bow who knew a few good tricks with the blade sheathed in his boot. There was no way in hell or on earth we could stand against the power of Sauron. Even if I had any strength to defend us with the True Ring, I knew nothing of it, or how to channel it. We were completely vulnerable. Like asking for death.
The thicket around us began to thin, opening into our makeshift camp, where the horses were neighing and rearing, horrified by the howls carried on the wind. I ran to their sides, calming them with soothing whispers and kind gestures. I lay my head on Kfei's broad neck, feeling the steady pulse of his heart, my own beating erratically compared, the blood pounding in my ears. I ran a hand through his silky mane, my eyelids fluttering. I was so tired....It was so soothing just to feel the smooth skin underneath mine, feel Kfei's warm breath on my cheek.......
"Bren!!"
Legolas' shout broke the connection, hurtling me back to the world at my feet.
Before I could say anything, he swooped me onto Kfei, mounting my horse instead, giving both a fierce slap on their torso. With screeching neighs, they bolted, erupting into the green ocean just outside the forest, the long blades scraping the unprotected skin around my ankles. The wind was howling now, night black storm clouds billowing around us. The thundering gait of Sauron's beasts were so close, I could almost tell that if I looked behind us, I would see them, see their fiery inferno of flame ripping across the countryside, see the eyeless sockets that haunted me.
With every stride our horses took, they seemed to take a hundred. I could feel the heat of their bodies. They were so very close, I wanted to cry out in frustration, anger, fear, and grief. Through the searing heat, I could feel the icy grip of death looming on the edges of my mind. The shadow was descending upon us, to envelop us in it's unfathomable depths.
With every breath I took, the shadow lowered more, the beasts came closer.
The light was gone. The light that had kept me stable was gone. We were beneath the shadow now.
Beneath the depths of shadow, there is no way out.
I remember hearing Legolas scream my name, hear the Azaad-Lûd howl, feel the heat of their unquenchable flame, feel the strain of Kfei beneath me.
I felt nothing, and everything at once.
My eyes began to close, each breath becoming slower, each beat of my heart farther apart. I heard a voice in my head, powerful and terrible, like the hissing of fire put out by water. It was soft at first, but began to get louder, blocking out everything that threatened to override it.
"You cannot withstand the power of the Ring....It consumes you.....It takes you farther into shadow.....It brings you closer to me......Closer to your purpose......Do not deny the truth......You know your purpose......."
Then my light went out, and everything came rushing back.
**
With one great leap, the Azaad-Lûd were upon them. The three howled in triumph, an inferno of flame erupting from their gaping maws. It swirled around Legolas, burning his skin, singing his hair, ravaging the horse beneath him. The whole field around him was like hell on earth. The once beautiful field was no more, turned into a burning wasteland of flame. Walls of fire leaped up with every turn, the three beasts circling around him and Bren, who were miniscule compared to the mammoth monsters that towered above them, their feet as large as the horses themselves.
The heat was unbearable, ripping through everything in his path, destroying, mutilating, tearing.
He could see Bren crying beside him, the tears barely leaving her dull emerald eyes before they evaporated in wisps of steam. The fire was burning her too, patches of her beautiful skin bubbling and hissing in the inferno. She did not scream in the pain that he knew ravaged her every sense. She did not cry out for help. She took it all like no woman should have to. Like a man. But she was no man. She was going to die.
Out of nowhere, a great clawed paw swiped down, knocking both to the fiery ground, killing the horses instantly, their mutilated bodies, ripped apart, lying close by.
Legolas tried to get up, but his body would not obey him. Bren was lying on the ground beside him, her eyes glazed over. The ring was fizzling and hissing more loudly than ever, the gem burning just as bright as the field around them. It looked so much like the eye of Sauron, it sent gut wrenching shivers down his spine.
"I can see you......Prince of Mirkwood......"
The voice was so terrible, he wanted to scream. It was the Ring. It was Sauron. He could see them. He had seem them all along. He had been watching. Waiting. Planning. And now he'd found his chance to take the one person who could bring him back.
"No!!" Legolas moaned, forcing himself to stand, to take Bren's limp body in his burned arms.
The Azaad-Lûd were still circling them, teeth bared, fire's burning, eye-less sockets watching.
"Take them....now!!!"
It was then that Legolas realized, in that fleeting moment, that it was all over.
He had broken his promise.
He felt the fire that exploded from their mouths, felt it envelop him, felt another claw come down, ripping him apart, taking them both in one violent swipe.
His legs gave way under the impact, his body slumping to the ground. There was a flash of white light, and he could hear the beasts howling again, the heat leaving him.
Then his light went out, and everything was over.
**
The wind on my face was soothing. It washed over me like silk, entering every crevice, washing over everything with a sweet, refreshing breeze.
The mossy floor underneath me eased the aches on my body, the soft green plant tipped with dew smooth on my skin.
The warm body next to mine was comforting, placing a warm blanket of security around all my fears and worries.
It was so peaceful. Finally death had come to me, removing the responsibility of carrying the True Ring. I was gone, I knew, past the pains of living, into the realm of sweet death. A pang of guilt struck me, guilt of leaving the world I had known to destruction, delivering the peoples of Middle-Earth into the hands of Sauron. Perhaps I had not done all I could. Perhaps I could've done more.
Whoever lay close by, rolled over slowly, an unconscious arm placing itself around me, their warm breath tingling on my cheek. I did not know who it was, and yet I did not feel worried. It was a strange sensation. Everything just felt right. I opened my eyes, to gaze upon a face of pure serenity, bathed in the light of new morning, long, silky golden hair draped around his shoulders. His clear blue eyes were open, the lids obscuring very little of them. His lips were slightly open, so close to me it sent shivers down my spine.
It was Legolas.
I raised a hand to touch his cheek, and I felt a heavy weight on my middle finger. Confused, I turned it slowly, and my eyes caught sight of the one thing I thought gone.
It was the True Ring. I was not dead.
Emotions came flooding back, feeling entered my body once more, warnings screamed in my head.
With a cry I lept away from his sleeping form. My hand was clutching my chest, breathing hard and forced.
He could have awoken at any time....He could've hurt me......He could've and I wouldn't have known it......
Suddenly I felt very sick, the world swaying around me, my vision becoming blurred. I didn't even notice when Legolas got up. He must've awakened when I cried out. I vaguely saw him come forward, heard him say my name, though it was soft and muffled, saw him reach out to touch me......
"Get away!!!" I screamed, backing away from him. "Get away!!!"
The events of the past hours came rushing back. Hasana, Cigry, my brothers..., the Azaad-Lûd, everything. How we had managed to escape was beyond me. I remembered hearing Sauron's voice in my head, hearing the True Ring command the beasts to take us, feeling them rip through my flesh in those last moments when I lay in Legolas' arms. Then there had been light, when our light went out. The heat had left, the monsters had stopped howling.
I suddenly realized it had been Hasana.
She had come.
She had healed our wounds.
She had saved us.
Legolas took a step forward with my step backwards. There was such pain in his eyes, such a fierce longing that almost frightened me in its intensity. It could see tears in his eyes, could see the defeated look. I wanted to look away, to ignore his pain and his longing, but it seemed to draw me closer to him. Draw me under like a tidal wave.
"Melamin" My love. He whispered, though his lips did not move.
It was his voice inside my head. I could hear him.
"Amin mele lle, Bren." I love you, Bren. I could understand him. His words tore at my heart, letting loose the tears that I had held back.
He loved me.
"Uma, amin mele lle." Yes I love you.
He could hear me. It was like between Hasana and I. We could hear each other's thoughts. It was a connection few possessed. I could not believe we shared that connection, and yet, I now knew I had longed for it beyond anything else. I longed to be embraced by him. I longed to feel his strong arms holding me close, to hear him whisper things of beauty in my ear, to hear him say he loved me over and over.
It had been my vow that shadowed the fact I could not live without him.
I had vowed to not let any man touch me, and it had been that vow that destroyed any time we could've had.
I realized he was crying, his own tears spilling over, sliding over his cheeks.
I was crying too. I just stood there looking at him, unable to speak.
Legolas stumbled forward, so close I could feel his breath on my face. He raised a hand, letting it hover inches from my skin. We stood in silence, the sounds of the new forest around us dim.
Finally, he took a deep, shuddering breath. "I wish-I wish I could dry these tears." He said softly, voice dripping with pain. "I wish I could make this better for you. But I do not know how."
I cannot say what made me take that final step forward. Maybe it was the pain in his voice, the way he looked at me with his eyes, the way he spoke to me. I just knew, that if I did not touch him I would shatter into a million pieces. `Jump....' Cried a voice inside of me `Jump over...' I shut my eyes and moved closer, my arms slowly moving around his waist, and I rested my head on his chest, letting my tears flow.
I felt Legolas ease, his own arms coming up to hold me tightly against him, his palms flat on my back. For a while we just stood, letting the sensation wash over us, let all our fears and worries drift away on the wind. Until I felt his touch, I did not know how much I had longed for it. Until I held him, I did not know how much I loved him.
My head fit just in the crook of his neck, like it was meant to be there. I felt the pulse of him underneath me, felt the desire burning in my chest.
Slowly, Legolas moved, his lips brushing against mine. His body tensed at the connection, his sharp intake of breath startling me slightly. Then he eased again, this time, his gentle hand coming up to entangle itself in my hair, his lips coming more sure and steady, to take mine in his. Once they brushed together, it was impossible to keep our mouths apart; and this kiss was so chaste symbol of friendship, but a desperate, hungry meeting of lips and teeth and tongues that left us shaking and breathless.
"Don't ever leave me...." I whispered, as from the billowing clouds that had been forming, rain began to fall.
"I will not..." Legolas moaned. His hard body against mine made the desire inside of me burn brighter than ever.
"Legolas..." I tried to say, but he silence me with a fierce kiss. "Shh.." he breathed against my cheek, his hands moving farther down my body. The moment of drawing back was lost forever
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Need flared between us as violent and sudden and unstoppable as a great wildfire that consumes all in its path, a fierce coming together that was both joyous and terrifying in its power. The rain was falling heavily now, the ground where we lay locked in each other's arms ran with water, and we were soaked through; but we barely noticed it as hands explored soft skin, and lips tasted secret places, and we moved together as if we were indeed two halves of one whole, made complete again.
As I took him inside of me, I felt a sharp throb of pain; and I must have made some sound, for he asked, "What is it? What is wrong?" I stopped his words with my fingers. Then pain was forgotten as I felt myself turn to liquid gold under his touch, and I wrapped my arms around his body, held him to me as tightly as I could. I thought I would never let go, never. But I did not say it aloud. Legolas' touch warmed every part of me, his lips healed wounds I thought never could be closed. He had brought me back to the light, from beneath the depths of shadow, where I believed there was no way out. He had helped me forget the images that haunted me, and taught me a love so fierce, I knew I could not live without him.
His sweetness was intoxicating, his beauty breathtaking beyond measure. His eyes, his kiss, his soft body against mine spoke to me in a way even the finest Elven melody never could. Legolas was perfect. He was everything. He filled me with such a desire that when we were not touching, even for a second, I felt apart from myself, I felt the need to love him over and over again until he never let go.
As he rolled to hold me above him, I looked into his clear blue eyes in the light of the morning, and saw such a longing it nearly broke my heart. I stretch out over him, touching my lips to his body, and found from somewhere deep inside me a rhythm, like a strong, slow drumbeat that moved me against him. The clenching and loosening of muscles, the touching and letting go, the fierce building sweetness--when it came it was like nothing I'd imagined. He cried out, and pulled me down toward him, and I gasped with the heat that flooded my body. I felt the vibration deep within me, and knew that things could never, never be the same again.
They tell of this in tales, the tales of great lovers who are parted, and long for each other, and at length find joy together. But no tale I knew could ever match up to this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With a great sigh, we stood together, still entwined in each other's arms. Slowly, Legolas began to remove my sopping clothes, and I removed his. The rain had stopped, and again we lay together on the soft moss, closer than I had ever been to another man in my entire life.
I gently ran my fingers along his bare chest, moving across the ivory skin, muscles shivering at my touch. It was soft and smooth, like silk. I kissed his shoulder softly, resting my head again in the crook of his neck. He in turn, trailed sweet kisses along my neck, his hand moving over the swell of my breast.
"Amin mele lle." I love you. He sent to me. "Amin hiraetha." I am sorry.
"Do not be sorry." I answered aloud. "You have no reason to be sorry."
There was a pause of silence before he moved slightly, tilting my chin to look at him. "I promised you I would find a way to end all this, without your death. But I....I know there is no other way. We cannot change the course of fate."
I nodded slowly, brushing a lone tear from his cheek with my thumb. "I have known always. I know what I must do. But first....." I found I suddenly lost my voice, my throat in a knot. The grief I had wanted to ignore was welling up inside of me. It was so hard not to cry. "First, y-you must do one thing f-for me...." I stuttered. Legolas reached out, pulling my head down to press one final kiss on my brow.
"I will do anything for you." He breathed.
"You must never forget me. Never Legolas. Even when you pass into the west, never forget."
A broken sob escaped him, echoing in the forest around them. "How could I ever forget you?" he cried, holding me close, our tears wetting the blanket, and each other.
I did not want to think about tomorrow. I knew we would have to return to Rivendell. There was no other way. But for our last day and night together, I would not think, would not speak, would not move.
I would love. And with love in my heart, we cried together.
WARNING: This chapter contains R-NC 17 material. You don't have to read it if you don't want to. The "material" will start and end with this: ~~~~~~~~, not this:**, so don't get confused. Just skip through that if you don't want to read it. But please read the rest of this chapter!
Chapter Seven
The light enveloped us again, returning us to the magical wood where Cigry and Legolas still waited. My mind was whirring and buzzing, trying desperately to process everything I had learned. There was a dull ache in my chest, that had seemed to arrive the moment I realized my brothers weren't my brothers anymore. I felt slightly lonely, half expecting Simeon or Domic to appear out of nowhere and wrap a loving arm around my shoulder. I knew they would never come and find me though. I knew that they didn't even remember me now. But I was teaching myself to ignore this, and except it, because I knew as well that dwelling on the past would do me no good.
The moment my feet touched solid ground again, I could sense Legolas start to move forward, start to cry out "Are you ok?!" and envelop me in a protective hug. Instinctively, I backed away, even before opening my eyes. When I did, I saw him standing close by, a look of utter longing and hurt shining like a beacon from his clear blue eyes. I could tell he wanted to embrace me. I had sensed it almost from the very beginning. He could feel my pain, and wanted to help me, wanted to protect me any way he could. I wouldn't let him though. He was still a man, an Elf at that, and men I could not depend on, no matter how convincing they may be. I had learned from my father that Elves were not to be trusted in the concerns of humans. He had always told me that they did not care for the races of Dwarves or Men, liking to keep to themselves. Legolas might seem like a gentle and caring Elf, but I knew very little of him, and did not trust him as much as I would want.
"Are you ok?" he still asked, and I could see the envy in his eyes as Cigry went to embrace Hasana, placing a light kiss on her forehead.
"I'm fine" I replied, averting my eyes from them. I was feeling very tired, and wanted to leave as soon as possible.
Legolas nodded, taking a slight step forward. He began to raise his arm to offer guidance, but with an almost aggravated sigh, it dropped back to his side. I did not feel sorry for him. He had to understand my wishes, and honor them. If not, I knew I could not be in his presence.
Cigry backed away from my sister, turning to face me, a look of respect on his face. He made a quick sign with his fingers, so fast I barely caught it. Hasana told me later that it meant peace and safe travelling. I nodded in acknowledgement, trying and failing at making the same sign. He laughed a little, a smile tugging at his lips.
"Well." He said, sounding very final, "It seems you must go now. I fear darkness is at your heels, and you cannot lead them here. Hasana will take you back to your camp, and we ask that you do not stay. Leave what you can behind and travel south. Stay at the ruin of Orthanc and wait for the enemy, for it draws near."
Legolas looked insulted.
"Wait for the enemy?!" he cried. "How can you ask that of us?!"
"It is what you must do. The Azaad-Lûd have left Mordor and are searching for you. I believe Sauron wishes to keep you captive, to assure your safety, until the True Ring has taken your life."
I was confused.
"The Azaad-Lûd?"
Cigry's face suddenly became very dark, a flicker or fear and anger flashing across his eyes. His lips were pressed firmly together, his chin set. He drew in a rattling breath before answering my question.
"The Azaad-Lûd are the fiery spawn of the Balrog." He began, his voice deep and dripping with hatred. I shivered unconsciously, my gaze never leaving his face. "They are giant wolf-like monsters wreathed in flame, born entirely of anger and pain. Their gait rumbles and cracks the earth beneath them, their howl can bring a man to madness. They have no eyes, instead sockets as dark and endless as the Eye of Sauron...." His gaze jumped to my hand, where the True Ring was swirling and hissing. I realized it was burning me again, but I could not feel it. The skin was too raw, the veins long since singed and destroyed. I could not feel anything there now. With a dreadful shudder, Cigry continued.
"I have never seen one myself, for they are only of myth, and summoned only when Sauron sees it fit. But I know these creatures are more than tales to frighten children. I have heard them in my dreams for very long now, and have seen their eye-less sockets. I know Sauron has released them, and now, they are bent on one thing, and one thing only. Finding you."
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Legolas stiffen, his body go ridged. His clear blue orbs were on me, his penetrating gaze seeing right through me.
"Then we must flee." He said.
The minute the words left his mouth, the silence was slashed as a deafening howl screamed through the air, long and horrible like millions dying at once. The entire forest, the ground beneath our feet seemed to shudder with fear as it peeled through the sky, and I felt my throat constrict, all thoughts leaving me.
Cigry's word was true.
In the distance, thunder rumbled like the roaring of a great beast. But I knew it was not thunder. I could almost see the gruesome creatures that Cigry spoke of. I could feel myself drowning mercilessly in the never ending darkness of the eye-less sockets. They were coming. We could not stay.
Another howl answered the first, just as horrible and blood chilling as the one before it, if not worse. They were getting closer.
"We have to go." I said suddenly, my hand whipping out to grasp Legolas in a vice like grip. "Now."
Without words of parting, we shot off through the foliage, my heart growing colder the farther I was from Hasana. She would not follow us. Neither would Cigry. They were to stay in the forest, to somehow watch me in their mysterious ways, to keep an eye on the girl who was much more than a girl.
I released my hand from Legolas' wrist, noticing a faint bruise forming on his ivory skin. I opened my mouth to apologize, but yet again the cries of the Azaad-Lûd echoed across the earth, sounding much closer than they should. We continued to run, all the while silent tears streaming from my eyes. Never before had I been so scared. Never had I felt terror grip me like it did now. I was barely comforted by Legolas' presence, for I knew he could do nothing to stop the monsters that followed us. He was just a single Elf with a bow who knew a few good tricks with the blade sheathed in his boot. There was no way in hell or on earth we could stand against the power of Sauron. Even if I had any strength to defend us with the True Ring, I knew nothing of it, or how to channel it. We were completely vulnerable. Like asking for death.
The thicket around us began to thin, opening into our makeshift camp, where the horses were neighing and rearing, horrified by the howls carried on the wind. I ran to their sides, calming them with soothing whispers and kind gestures. I lay my head on Kfei's broad neck, feeling the steady pulse of his heart, my own beating erratically compared, the blood pounding in my ears. I ran a hand through his silky mane, my eyelids fluttering. I was so tired....It was so soothing just to feel the smooth skin underneath mine, feel Kfei's warm breath on my cheek.......
"Bren!!"
Legolas' shout broke the connection, hurtling me back to the world at my feet.
Before I could say anything, he swooped me onto Kfei, mounting my horse instead, giving both a fierce slap on their torso. With screeching neighs, they bolted, erupting into the green ocean just outside the forest, the long blades scraping the unprotected skin around my ankles. The wind was howling now, night black storm clouds billowing around us. The thundering gait of Sauron's beasts were so close, I could almost tell that if I looked behind us, I would see them, see their fiery inferno of flame ripping across the countryside, see the eyeless sockets that haunted me.
With every stride our horses took, they seemed to take a hundred. I could feel the heat of their bodies. They were so very close, I wanted to cry out in frustration, anger, fear, and grief. Through the searing heat, I could feel the icy grip of death looming on the edges of my mind. The shadow was descending upon us, to envelop us in it's unfathomable depths.
With every breath I took, the shadow lowered more, the beasts came closer.
The light was gone. The light that had kept me stable was gone. We were beneath the shadow now.
Beneath the depths of shadow, there is no way out.
I remember hearing Legolas scream my name, hear the Azaad-Lûd howl, feel the heat of their unquenchable flame, feel the strain of Kfei beneath me.
I felt nothing, and everything at once.
My eyes began to close, each breath becoming slower, each beat of my heart farther apart. I heard a voice in my head, powerful and terrible, like the hissing of fire put out by water. It was soft at first, but began to get louder, blocking out everything that threatened to override it.
"You cannot withstand the power of the Ring....It consumes you.....It takes you farther into shadow.....It brings you closer to me......Closer to your purpose......Do not deny the truth......You know your purpose......."
Then my light went out, and everything came rushing back.
**
With one great leap, the Azaad-Lûd were upon them. The three howled in triumph, an inferno of flame erupting from their gaping maws. It swirled around Legolas, burning his skin, singing his hair, ravaging the horse beneath him. The whole field around him was like hell on earth. The once beautiful field was no more, turned into a burning wasteland of flame. Walls of fire leaped up with every turn, the three beasts circling around him and Bren, who were miniscule compared to the mammoth monsters that towered above them, their feet as large as the horses themselves.
The heat was unbearable, ripping through everything in his path, destroying, mutilating, tearing.
He could see Bren crying beside him, the tears barely leaving her dull emerald eyes before they evaporated in wisps of steam. The fire was burning her too, patches of her beautiful skin bubbling and hissing in the inferno. She did not scream in the pain that he knew ravaged her every sense. She did not cry out for help. She took it all like no woman should have to. Like a man. But she was no man. She was going to die.
Out of nowhere, a great clawed paw swiped down, knocking both to the fiery ground, killing the horses instantly, their mutilated bodies, ripped apart, lying close by.
Legolas tried to get up, but his body would not obey him. Bren was lying on the ground beside him, her eyes glazed over. The ring was fizzling and hissing more loudly than ever, the gem burning just as bright as the field around them. It looked so much like the eye of Sauron, it sent gut wrenching shivers down his spine.
"I can see you......Prince of Mirkwood......"
The voice was so terrible, he wanted to scream. It was the Ring. It was Sauron. He could see them. He had seem them all along. He had been watching. Waiting. Planning. And now he'd found his chance to take the one person who could bring him back.
"No!!" Legolas moaned, forcing himself to stand, to take Bren's limp body in his burned arms.
The Azaad-Lûd were still circling them, teeth bared, fire's burning, eye-less sockets watching.
"Take them....now!!!"
It was then that Legolas realized, in that fleeting moment, that it was all over.
He had broken his promise.
He felt the fire that exploded from their mouths, felt it envelop him, felt another claw come down, ripping him apart, taking them both in one violent swipe.
His legs gave way under the impact, his body slumping to the ground. There was a flash of white light, and he could hear the beasts howling again, the heat leaving him.
Then his light went out, and everything was over.
**
The wind on my face was soothing. It washed over me like silk, entering every crevice, washing over everything with a sweet, refreshing breeze.
The mossy floor underneath me eased the aches on my body, the soft green plant tipped with dew smooth on my skin.
The warm body next to mine was comforting, placing a warm blanket of security around all my fears and worries.
It was so peaceful. Finally death had come to me, removing the responsibility of carrying the True Ring. I was gone, I knew, past the pains of living, into the realm of sweet death. A pang of guilt struck me, guilt of leaving the world I had known to destruction, delivering the peoples of Middle-Earth into the hands of Sauron. Perhaps I had not done all I could. Perhaps I could've done more.
Whoever lay close by, rolled over slowly, an unconscious arm placing itself around me, their warm breath tingling on my cheek. I did not know who it was, and yet I did not feel worried. It was a strange sensation. Everything just felt right. I opened my eyes, to gaze upon a face of pure serenity, bathed in the light of new morning, long, silky golden hair draped around his shoulders. His clear blue eyes were open, the lids obscuring very little of them. His lips were slightly open, so close to me it sent shivers down my spine.
It was Legolas.
I raised a hand to touch his cheek, and I felt a heavy weight on my middle finger. Confused, I turned it slowly, and my eyes caught sight of the one thing I thought gone.
It was the True Ring. I was not dead.
Emotions came flooding back, feeling entered my body once more, warnings screamed in my head.
With a cry I lept away from his sleeping form. My hand was clutching my chest, breathing hard and forced.
He could have awoken at any time....He could've hurt me......He could've and I wouldn't have known it......
Suddenly I felt very sick, the world swaying around me, my vision becoming blurred. I didn't even notice when Legolas got up. He must've awakened when I cried out. I vaguely saw him come forward, heard him say my name, though it was soft and muffled, saw him reach out to touch me......
"Get away!!!" I screamed, backing away from him. "Get away!!!"
The events of the past hours came rushing back. Hasana, Cigry, my brothers..., the Azaad-Lûd, everything. How we had managed to escape was beyond me. I remembered hearing Sauron's voice in my head, hearing the True Ring command the beasts to take us, feeling them rip through my flesh in those last moments when I lay in Legolas' arms. Then there had been light, when our light went out. The heat had left, the monsters had stopped howling.
I suddenly realized it had been Hasana.
She had come.
She had healed our wounds.
She had saved us.
Legolas took a step forward with my step backwards. There was such pain in his eyes, such a fierce longing that almost frightened me in its intensity. It could see tears in his eyes, could see the defeated look. I wanted to look away, to ignore his pain and his longing, but it seemed to draw me closer to him. Draw me under like a tidal wave.
"Melamin" My love. He whispered, though his lips did not move.
It was his voice inside my head. I could hear him.
"Amin mele lle, Bren." I love you, Bren. I could understand him. His words tore at my heart, letting loose the tears that I had held back.
He loved me.
"Uma, amin mele lle." Yes I love you.
He could hear me. It was like between Hasana and I. We could hear each other's thoughts. It was a connection few possessed. I could not believe we shared that connection, and yet, I now knew I had longed for it beyond anything else. I longed to be embraced by him. I longed to feel his strong arms holding me close, to hear him whisper things of beauty in my ear, to hear him say he loved me over and over.
It had been my vow that shadowed the fact I could not live without him.
I had vowed to not let any man touch me, and it had been that vow that destroyed any time we could've had.
I realized he was crying, his own tears spilling over, sliding over his cheeks.
I was crying too. I just stood there looking at him, unable to speak.
Legolas stumbled forward, so close I could feel his breath on my face. He raised a hand, letting it hover inches from my skin. We stood in silence, the sounds of the new forest around us dim.
Finally, he took a deep, shuddering breath. "I wish-I wish I could dry these tears." He said softly, voice dripping with pain. "I wish I could make this better for you. But I do not know how."
I cannot say what made me take that final step forward. Maybe it was the pain in his voice, the way he looked at me with his eyes, the way he spoke to me. I just knew, that if I did not touch him I would shatter into a million pieces. `Jump....' Cried a voice inside of me `Jump over...' I shut my eyes and moved closer, my arms slowly moving around his waist, and I rested my head on his chest, letting my tears flow.
I felt Legolas ease, his own arms coming up to hold me tightly against him, his palms flat on my back. For a while we just stood, letting the sensation wash over us, let all our fears and worries drift away on the wind. Until I felt his touch, I did not know how much I had longed for it. Until I held him, I did not know how much I loved him.
My head fit just in the crook of his neck, like it was meant to be there. I felt the pulse of him underneath me, felt the desire burning in my chest.
Slowly, Legolas moved, his lips brushing against mine. His body tensed at the connection, his sharp intake of breath startling me slightly. Then he eased again, this time, his gentle hand coming up to entangle itself in my hair, his lips coming more sure and steady, to take mine in his. Once they brushed together, it was impossible to keep our mouths apart; and this kiss was so chaste symbol of friendship, but a desperate, hungry meeting of lips and teeth and tongues that left us shaking and breathless.
"Don't ever leave me...." I whispered, as from the billowing clouds that had been forming, rain began to fall.
"I will not..." Legolas moaned. His hard body against mine made the desire inside of me burn brighter than ever.
"Legolas..." I tried to say, but he silence me with a fierce kiss. "Shh.." he breathed against my cheek, his hands moving farther down my body. The moment of drawing back was lost forever
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Need flared between us as violent and sudden and unstoppable as a great wildfire that consumes all in its path, a fierce coming together that was both joyous and terrifying in its power. The rain was falling heavily now, the ground where we lay locked in each other's arms ran with water, and we were soaked through; but we barely noticed it as hands explored soft skin, and lips tasted secret places, and we moved together as if we were indeed two halves of one whole, made complete again.
As I took him inside of me, I felt a sharp throb of pain; and I must have made some sound, for he asked, "What is it? What is wrong?" I stopped his words with my fingers. Then pain was forgotten as I felt myself turn to liquid gold under his touch, and I wrapped my arms around his body, held him to me as tightly as I could. I thought I would never let go, never. But I did not say it aloud. Legolas' touch warmed every part of me, his lips healed wounds I thought never could be closed. He had brought me back to the light, from beneath the depths of shadow, where I believed there was no way out. He had helped me forget the images that haunted me, and taught me a love so fierce, I knew I could not live without him.
His sweetness was intoxicating, his beauty breathtaking beyond measure. His eyes, his kiss, his soft body against mine spoke to me in a way even the finest Elven melody never could. Legolas was perfect. He was everything. He filled me with such a desire that when we were not touching, even for a second, I felt apart from myself, I felt the need to love him over and over again until he never let go.
As he rolled to hold me above him, I looked into his clear blue eyes in the light of the morning, and saw such a longing it nearly broke my heart. I stretch out over him, touching my lips to his body, and found from somewhere deep inside me a rhythm, like a strong, slow drumbeat that moved me against him. The clenching and loosening of muscles, the touching and letting go, the fierce building sweetness--when it came it was like nothing I'd imagined. He cried out, and pulled me down toward him, and I gasped with the heat that flooded my body. I felt the vibration deep within me, and knew that things could never, never be the same again.
They tell of this in tales, the tales of great lovers who are parted, and long for each other, and at length find joy together. But no tale I knew could ever match up to this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With a great sigh, we stood together, still entwined in each other's arms. Slowly, Legolas began to remove my sopping clothes, and I removed his. The rain had stopped, and again we lay together on the soft moss, closer than I had ever been to another man in my entire life.
I gently ran my fingers along his bare chest, moving across the ivory skin, muscles shivering at my touch. It was soft and smooth, like silk. I kissed his shoulder softly, resting my head again in the crook of his neck. He in turn, trailed sweet kisses along my neck, his hand moving over the swell of my breast.
"Amin mele lle." I love you. He sent to me. "Amin hiraetha." I am sorry.
"Do not be sorry." I answered aloud. "You have no reason to be sorry."
There was a pause of silence before he moved slightly, tilting my chin to look at him. "I promised you I would find a way to end all this, without your death. But I....I know there is no other way. We cannot change the course of fate."
I nodded slowly, brushing a lone tear from his cheek with my thumb. "I have known always. I know what I must do. But first....." I found I suddenly lost my voice, my throat in a knot. The grief I had wanted to ignore was welling up inside of me. It was so hard not to cry. "First, y-you must do one thing f-for me...." I stuttered. Legolas reached out, pulling my head down to press one final kiss on my brow.
"I will do anything for you." He breathed.
"You must never forget me. Never Legolas. Even when you pass into the west, never forget."
A broken sob escaped him, echoing in the forest around them. "How could I ever forget you?" he cried, holding me close, our tears wetting the blanket, and each other.
I did not want to think about tomorrow. I knew we would have to return to Rivendell. There was no other way. But for our last day and night together, I would not think, would not speak, would not move.
I would love. And with love in my heart, we cried together.