Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!

AN: well! I was gonna make this into a Hotohori/Nuriko songfic. But I have enough of those. ^.^" this one still angasty, but I thoguht there werent enough Kourin fics out there. Hope im original in doing this...

(the first 4-lined lyrics may not make sense, I don't know how to spell Nuriko's name right. I THINK it's Ryueen,Ryuuen or Ryuen.)

Emotion...
By: fire demoness

It's over and done

But the heartache lives on inside

And who's the one you're clinging to

Instead of me tonight?

//darkness lays like a blanket over the small room. There is utter silence...only the shouting from downstairs and the muffled sound of crying can be heard...a door's creak interuppts the silence in the room. There stands a young boy, holding back the tears that threaten to overflow...//

And where are you now, now that I need you?

Tears on my pillow wherever you go

I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean

You never see me fall apart

I stood there at the door for awhile, not moving, hardly breathing.The scene just kept on replaying in my mind, like a broken record. Flashes of a girl running...the cart...the blood everywhere. Kourin...Dead. Because of ME. I flung myself onto the bed, clutching the sheets closer as I sobbed onto them...

In the words of a broken heart

It's just emotion that's taken me over

Caught up in sorrow, lost in my soul

But if you don't come back

Come home to me, darling

Dont you know there's nobody left in this world

to hold me tight

Dont cha know there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight

Goodnight, goodnight

Why did this have to happen? It was such a normal day...my life has been shattered to pieces. Kourin...she was following ME...she was so young. Why wasn't it me? What will I ever amount to? Why did fate choose HER?

Now I'm alone. Mother and Father most likely blame me. my brother- I don't know...there's just utter loneyness around me. I wish Kourin was here...i wish ...i wish things would just go back to the way they were. But then again- it can't. ever. Now who'll play with me? who will go around the market, tell me about the new doll mother bought? Who...?

I'm there at your side,

I'm part of all the things you are

But you've got a part of someone else

You've got to find your shining star

I pushed myself up from the bed, scrunching over to my drawer. It opened slowly with a creak and I coughed as the dust cloud slowly rested.There lay some of Kourin's old dresses. I stood there for awhile, stroking the soft silk absentmindedly and sniffling as I remembered her face...now covered with blood and dirt.

Kourin...no one in the village made that big a fuss over her DEATH. Cruel, heartless...she'll be forgotten in a week. No. no one will forget her...not if her memory was preserved forever...

I picked up one of the dresses slowly and patted off the remaining dust. It wasn't that long ago...just a few hours. But this way, people will remember her...she'll never die, not as long as I'm around...i slipped off my clothes and slid inside the dress. I was just thin enough to fit. I put my hair up in the way that Kourin used to- im talking like she's been gone for months, not for just a few hours. I saw the mirror from the corner of my eye and smiled. I looked identical to Kourin.

And where are you now, now that I need you?

Tears on my pillow wherever you go

I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean

You never see me fall apart

And so I sit down in a corner of my room, hidden from the world, basked in darkness. Maybe things will turn out all right...maybe this never happened...I can almost hear her voice coming from the stairs...maybe...just maybe...

In the words of a broken heart

It's just emotion that's taken me over

Caught up in sorrow, lost in my soul

But if you don't come back

Come home to me, darling

Dont you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight

Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight

Goodnight, goodnight

I can't get this image out of my head. Kourin's eyes haunt me everywhere I turn, everywhere I go...there's no peace for me. the broken pieces of my life, the path I thought I would follow, the perfect...serene peaceful little path of life...gone.

And where are you now, now that I need you?

Tears on my pillow wherever you go

I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean

You never see me fall apart

"Ryuuen? Honey? Are you OK?"

I didn't speak, just clutched the dress closer to my body and awaited the innevatable.(sp) the door slowly opened, and my mother came inside. She took one glance at me and froze.

"RYUUEN??!!"

"NO! RYUUEN IS *GONE* AND HE'S NOT COMING BACK!! I'M KOURIN!! KOURINN!!!!!!!"

emotion took over me as I leaped up and faced my shocked mother. tears were streaming down my face and my carefully done hair was flying all over. She whispered a small "no..." before turning around and racing down the steps, sobbing. I sunk to the floor, crying.

In the words of a broken heart

It's just emotion that's taken me over

Caught up in sorry, lost in my soul

But if you don't come back

Come home to me, darling

Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight

Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight

Goodnight, goodnight

It's amazing how one thing in your life can destroy everything you thought you would be. Destroy your identity, your dreams of becoming someone...all that's left is one thing...haunting you for the rest of your life.

I still can't believe the way my life turned out. I wasn't over Kourin, not even now. Hotohori-sama was destined for her. No one else. Just...Kourin. I'm a seishi. A Suzaku seishi. Wouldn't she be so proud that her brother was that important?

I smile faintly as blood drips steadily through my fingers. I hear Miaka calling...and as I stare up at the sunlight shining into my eyes, I see Kourin...calling, waiting for me...we will be together again...

"I'm coming Kourin..."

~*Owari*~

well? Didja like it? *fumbles* I always do a little flashback, into future thing, but I LOVE writing about Nuriko. Tasuki's my favorite (nuriko or Chichiri #2) but I can't seem to write about him. . Nuriko's just so loveable. ^.^" PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU LIKED IT!!!! PLEAASSSSSEEEEEEE?????????????