#A/N Do not read this if you haven't read the prologue. It will be
wwwwaaayyyy over your head. Also if you hate Hermione/Draco pairings don't
read and then flame, because I have warned you. Disclaimer: I don't own
these characters, but the plot is mine.
Nowhere to Turn
##
Gloom, unmoving unfeeling had settled over under and around Hogwarts and had remained stationary for three months. The Great Hall was still flocked in black and classes had just resumed. For the first day since the funeral Hermione had gotten out of bed. Her tears fell silently in sobless torrents. She knelt on the ground above Harry and Ron's corpses. Her face buried in her hands. Silently she mouthed the words on the headstones, the verses she knew by heart.
"Better friends there never were. Better men have never lived. Their love lighted our hearts and their death left a void. We will remember them forever."
Hermione couldn't believe they were dead.
" Denial is the first stage to recovery." She whispered to herself. But in her heart she knew there would never be recovery. She would always ache, she would always cry. Some wounds don't heal. They get scabs and then one little touch breaks them open and the festering continues, a vicious cycle. The only way to truly heal, to feel pain no more is to forget they ever lived. Hermione was scared to do that. To let go of them would be letting go of herself. She couldn't remember any feelings except those of pain, what is she never had any emotions at all. She pushed this out of her mind.
Almost in a trance she straightened from her prostrate position and trudged to the library following her path without thinking, without perceiving. People looked at her with looks of pity and mercy. All except Draco Malfoy, he couldn't look at her at all. He knew the reason for her pain but couldn't tell her. But his piercing gray eyes showed no sign of compassion or even sadness. They were impartial and unseeing. That was the way he wanted it. If anyone saw him mourning Potter, he would be humiliated. They would see through his facade, his charade. He was a hypocrite and he knew it. He had to be cruel and icy on the outside. Showing no emotion besides hatred and loathing. His name had branded him, marked him for life. Malfoy means mistake everyone knew that. He wasn't a mistake, but trusting him was. Or could you put your confidence in him? Not if you were a Mudblood. Appearances of truth are often deceiving.
The doors to the library swished shut behind Hermione. She breathed the stale air that she had missed. The odor of musty books greeted her nose. Her senses were overwhelmed. The only sound to be heard was the suspended breathing of Madame Pince, the pitter pat of Mrs. Norris hunting mice in the Restricted Section and the sound of her own heart beating. Her eyes roved lovingly down row after row of books, and you could almost feel the peace in the air. It was a tangible thing, they enveloped you lovingly and clung to you like a nice broken in nightgown that is just beginning to get too small and you wish it wasn't. Hermione glided as if in a dream to the back table where she usually sat to study and there just as she'd left them that fateful day three months ago, were he books. It looked as thought they had been dusted but other than that they were the same. She sat down thinking she would just pick up where she'd left off.
A thrill of pain jetted up her spine. Well not really pain, a chill. Like ice. So reminiscent of... a memory of that day. That day would never go away. It wavered back at unexpected moments. She would have cried but she had no tears left.
Her eyes darted to the nearest aisle where she knew someone was standing. It was another of those I know but I don't know how I know feelings. Lo and behold. There stood a pale yet handsome Draco Malfoy. He looked at her, like he never had before. Then she blinked and he was gone. Some one was tapping her on the shoulder. Her eyes snapped open and her head jerked up. It had all been just a dream. Malfoy still hated her, she just knew that. She looked around remembering that she had been tapped and there stood Draco. As handsome as in the dream. This time he looked at her and it was the usual glaring look. But when he spoke she was amazed.
"Hermione, are they really gone?"
"That was a first." Hermione spluttered.
"What was a first?"
"You called me Hermione, not Mudblood Granger or frizzy. Just plain old Hermione."
"That's not why I came to talk to you. This isn't a fluffy 'I'm sorry if I ever hurt you' moment. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. Otherwise you know it wouldn't be so fun to rag on you." Draco said with a sneer plastered across his good-looking face.
"Oh. Well yeah I'm fine. I'll get over this sooner or later and be back to myself. I can see that this hasn't changed you at all. You're still the same rude, obnoxious, and cruel excuse for a man that I have ever met. I know why Harry hated you. You think because he's gone that I'll forget that or even forgive you." Hermione spewed out in rage. Draco's face fell. Hermione began to question whether she had been too cruel.
"You know what you're right Hermione. I will never be as good, great, kind, handsome or popular as Potter. But you are wrong about me. I'll show you. I promise." Draco said indignantly and stalked out of the library. Shoving the doors violently as he went.
Hermione's eyes followed him. Was he walking out on her forever or was he just tiptoeing in?
A/N Please R/R! I hope you like this part. If so I will continue it. I also put in a request. No matter what religion you are even if you are atheist, please pray/ think about my friend Justin Irvine. He is a senior in high school and he has leukemia. He is not doing very well and all he wants is to graduate high school. Also remember to keep September 11th in your prayers. Thanks so much. This series is dedicated to Justin.
Nowhere to Turn
##
Gloom, unmoving unfeeling had settled over under and around Hogwarts and had remained stationary for three months. The Great Hall was still flocked in black and classes had just resumed. For the first day since the funeral Hermione had gotten out of bed. Her tears fell silently in sobless torrents. She knelt on the ground above Harry and Ron's corpses. Her face buried in her hands. Silently she mouthed the words on the headstones, the verses she knew by heart.
"Better friends there never were. Better men have never lived. Their love lighted our hearts and their death left a void. We will remember them forever."
Hermione couldn't believe they were dead.
" Denial is the first stage to recovery." She whispered to herself. But in her heart she knew there would never be recovery. She would always ache, she would always cry. Some wounds don't heal. They get scabs and then one little touch breaks them open and the festering continues, a vicious cycle. The only way to truly heal, to feel pain no more is to forget they ever lived. Hermione was scared to do that. To let go of them would be letting go of herself. She couldn't remember any feelings except those of pain, what is she never had any emotions at all. She pushed this out of her mind.
Almost in a trance she straightened from her prostrate position and trudged to the library following her path without thinking, without perceiving. People looked at her with looks of pity and mercy. All except Draco Malfoy, he couldn't look at her at all. He knew the reason for her pain but couldn't tell her. But his piercing gray eyes showed no sign of compassion or even sadness. They were impartial and unseeing. That was the way he wanted it. If anyone saw him mourning Potter, he would be humiliated. They would see through his facade, his charade. He was a hypocrite and he knew it. He had to be cruel and icy on the outside. Showing no emotion besides hatred and loathing. His name had branded him, marked him for life. Malfoy means mistake everyone knew that. He wasn't a mistake, but trusting him was. Or could you put your confidence in him? Not if you were a Mudblood. Appearances of truth are often deceiving.
The doors to the library swished shut behind Hermione. She breathed the stale air that she had missed. The odor of musty books greeted her nose. Her senses were overwhelmed. The only sound to be heard was the suspended breathing of Madame Pince, the pitter pat of Mrs. Norris hunting mice in the Restricted Section and the sound of her own heart beating. Her eyes roved lovingly down row after row of books, and you could almost feel the peace in the air. It was a tangible thing, they enveloped you lovingly and clung to you like a nice broken in nightgown that is just beginning to get too small and you wish it wasn't. Hermione glided as if in a dream to the back table where she usually sat to study and there just as she'd left them that fateful day three months ago, were he books. It looked as thought they had been dusted but other than that they were the same. She sat down thinking she would just pick up where she'd left off.
A thrill of pain jetted up her spine. Well not really pain, a chill. Like ice. So reminiscent of... a memory of that day. That day would never go away. It wavered back at unexpected moments. She would have cried but she had no tears left.
Her eyes darted to the nearest aisle where she knew someone was standing. It was another of those I know but I don't know how I know feelings. Lo and behold. There stood a pale yet handsome Draco Malfoy. He looked at her, like he never had before. Then she blinked and he was gone. Some one was tapping her on the shoulder. Her eyes snapped open and her head jerked up. It had all been just a dream. Malfoy still hated her, she just knew that. She looked around remembering that she had been tapped and there stood Draco. As handsome as in the dream. This time he looked at her and it was the usual glaring look. But when he spoke she was amazed.
"Hermione, are they really gone?"
"That was a first." Hermione spluttered.
"What was a first?"
"You called me Hermione, not Mudblood Granger or frizzy. Just plain old Hermione."
"That's not why I came to talk to you. This isn't a fluffy 'I'm sorry if I ever hurt you' moment. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. Otherwise you know it wouldn't be so fun to rag on you." Draco said with a sneer plastered across his good-looking face.
"Oh. Well yeah I'm fine. I'll get over this sooner or later and be back to myself. I can see that this hasn't changed you at all. You're still the same rude, obnoxious, and cruel excuse for a man that I have ever met. I know why Harry hated you. You think because he's gone that I'll forget that or even forgive you." Hermione spewed out in rage. Draco's face fell. Hermione began to question whether she had been too cruel.
"You know what you're right Hermione. I will never be as good, great, kind, handsome or popular as Potter. But you are wrong about me. I'll show you. I promise." Draco said indignantly and stalked out of the library. Shoving the doors violently as he went.
Hermione's eyes followed him. Was he walking out on her forever or was he just tiptoeing in?
A/N Please R/R! I hope you like this part. If so I will continue it. I also put in a request. No matter what religion you are even if you are atheist, please pray/ think about my friend Justin Irvine. He is a senior in high school and he has leukemia. He is not doing very well and all he wants is to graduate high school. Also remember to keep September 11th in your prayers. Thanks so much. This series is dedicated to Justin.