Note: None of these are my characters! Most of the LOTR characters are out of character! Elrond gets into the whole Legolas obsession thing in this chapter! This fic is written to be funny! Shounen ai between Legolas/Aragorn! Takes place the next day!
The Pretty Elf Gets Gift-Wrapped
Part 4
Saruman paced inside his castle. How long did it take to capture one elf, he wondering, pacing in his long white robe.
"My precious... my own..." Saruman hissed, gazing at the image of the elf through his scrying spell. He saw Legolas yell at everyone to leave him alone, as they chased him back to the camp. "He will be my precious..."
******************
The Camp
******************
Legolas swore as he ran through the camp, and spotted Aragorn. The smaller elf ran over and jumped directly behind the human.
`I would be grateful if you would not move for a few moments,' Legolas whispered in Elvish.
Aragorn stood there silently, and watched the Hobbits run by, calling out the elf's name. The human was so ready to vent out his anger on them all.
A cry from behind him caught Aragorn's attention, and he whirled around to see that Boromir had actually managed to sneak up on Legolas and throw the elf over his shoulder.
"Put me down, Boromir!" Legolas's bow and arrows had conveniently gone missing, as had his short sword. He struggled in the strangely fierce grip of the human. "Boromir! Let me go!" Legolas twisted in the humans grip, anger and annoyance in his face.
Aragorn was seriously contemplating killing Boromir right now, as the other human carried away the kicking and yelling elf.
The sounds of an Elvish horse approaching drew everyone's attention. A single rider was atop of it, with a bag hanging around his neck and shoulder.
Legolas took advantage to break away from Boromir's grip and run, but he didn't get to far. In his haste to get away from the human who was chasing, Legolas tripped over a rock and flew straight into a tree headfirst.
"Ouchie..." Sam said, wincing in sympathy.
"That's going to leave a mark," Pippin said.
Merry's face lit up. "Don't you know what this means?" he cried.
"What?" Frodo asked curiously.
Merry exclaimed, "We can play doctor with Legolas!"
The four Hobbits scurried over to the moaning elf, who had a massive bruise forming on his forehead. They sat down and went to work.
Legolas screeched when the Hobbits grabbed a hold of him, alternating between moans and screeches. "Get your hands away from there, Merry! I'm warning you!" The elf hissed in pain as he quickly stood, and walked around tipsily. A groan left Legolas's lips as he ran into a tree and fell down again.
"Are you ok?" the rider on the Elvish horse asked. "Maybe you should return with me to Rivendell, Legolas. We can get to know each other better..."
Legolas whimpered. Another person after him? The elf was seriously thinking that maybe he should have seen if he could die from drowning.
Aragorn walked over to the elf, and helped him stand. "Are you all right?" he asked worriedly.
A spark of hope appeared in everyone's eyes (except for Legolas and Aragorn), as they held their breath, waiting.
"Just peachy," Legolas said. He swung his head back and gave Aragorn a grin. "I feel just fine." The elf then promptly fainted, and Aragorn barely caught him.
"The elf belongs to me!" the messenger shouted. He flung off his cloak and revealed his identity.
"Elrond?" Frodo asked, puzzled.
"You are an elf," Sam pointed out.
Elrond cursed. "So?" he finally snapped. "I want that elf!" He raced over to where Aragorn held Legolas, and shoved the human away. The blond elf wound up striking his head against a rock.
"Ow..." Legolas regained consciousness immediately, and stood. He looked at Aragorn, and frowned. "Why are you dressed like a dancer?"
Aragorn blinked. "Excuse me?" He watched the blond elf curiously, before turning to Elrond. "There is something definitely wrong with him."
Elrond looked amused.
Legolas stumbled around in a daze "I want my mommy..."
"I'll be your mommy," Frodo said.
Sam scowled. "Come here, Legolas! It's your mommy calling!"
Gimli and Boromir threw strange looks at the Hobbits. Aragorn just glared at them.
"Legolas, are you all right?" Aragorn had lost track of how many times the elf had hit his head today. A knot was on Legolas's head because he kept hitting the same spot over and over again.
The Orcs chose that moment to jump out and grab Legolas. They lashed his wrists and feet together, as Legolas blinked at them.
"Are you my mommy?" he asked.
The Orcs froze.
"What?" the leader asked.
Legolas struggled in the ropes, and fell on the ground. He also hit his head for a forth time. "I've got to stop doing that..." he moaned, his voice back to normal. He then realized that he was bound and foot. "Why am I tied up?" he asked.
Saruman chose that moment to appear in a flash of light. "My own... my precious..." he whispered, gazing at the Elven archer. "My precious...my own...
Legolas whimpered, "Aragorn... He's scaring me..."
Aragorn growled, and started forward, when Elrond did two things. First, he thrust the message bag at Aragorn, who caught it, and then he confronted Saruman.
"Legolas is mine!" Elrond shouted.
"He's mine!" Saruman said, using his magic to give him a really cool voice affect.
"No, he's mine!" Gimli grumbled loudly.
Frodo shrieked, "He's mine!"
Sam countered, "No... Legolas is mine!"
"Mine!" Pippin yelled.
"He's mine!" Merry retorted.
"No, mine!" Boromir said loudly.
Gandalf exclaimed, "He's mine!"
"Wrong!" Aragorn bellowed, loudly enough that everyone turned towards him, their mouths open in shock. He'd had enough of this. Legolas belonged to him and no one else. "Legolas is mine!"
Legolas didn't know what to say, but Saruman grabbed him from behind, brandishing his staff.
"Sorry, heir of Isildur, but the elf is mine!" Saruman snapped, as he started the magic so he teleport himself away with Legolas. He beamed at the Orcs. "Thanks for gift-wrapping him for me!"
"Aragorn, help!" Legolas shouted, as the spell was cast. He was gripped firmly by his bound hands, and his green eyes met Aragorn's grey ones.
Aragorn ran forward, but it was too late.
Saruman and Legolas vanished.
To be continued
The Pretty Elf Gets Gift-Wrapped
Part 4
Saruman paced inside his castle. How long did it take to capture one elf, he wondering, pacing in his long white robe.
"My precious... my own..." Saruman hissed, gazing at the image of the elf through his scrying spell. He saw Legolas yell at everyone to leave him alone, as they chased him back to the camp. "He will be my precious..."
******************
The Camp
******************
Legolas swore as he ran through the camp, and spotted Aragorn. The smaller elf ran over and jumped directly behind the human.
`I would be grateful if you would not move for a few moments,' Legolas whispered in Elvish.
Aragorn stood there silently, and watched the Hobbits run by, calling out the elf's name. The human was so ready to vent out his anger on them all.
A cry from behind him caught Aragorn's attention, and he whirled around to see that Boromir had actually managed to sneak up on Legolas and throw the elf over his shoulder.
"Put me down, Boromir!" Legolas's bow and arrows had conveniently gone missing, as had his short sword. He struggled in the strangely fierce grip of the human. "Boromir! Let me go!" Legolas twisted in the humans grip, anger and annoyance in his face.
Aragorn was seriously contemplating killing Boromir right now, as the other human carried away the kicking and yelling elf.
The sounds of an Elvish horse approaching drew everyone's attention. A single rider was atop of it, with a bag hanging around his neck and shoulder.
Legolas took advantage to break away from Boromir's grip and run, but he didn't get to far. In his haste to get away from the human who was chasing, Legolas tripped over a rock and flew straight into a tree headfirst.
"Ouchie..." Sam said, wincing in sympathy.
"That's going to leave a mark," Pippin said.
Merry's face lit up. "Don't you know what this means?" he cried.
"What?" Frodo asked curiously.
Merry exclaimed, "We can play doctor with Legolas!"
The four Hobbits scurried over to the moaning elf, who had a massive bruise forming on his forehead. They sat down and went to work.
Legolas screeched when the Hobbits grabbed a hold of him, alternating between moans and screeches. "Get your hands away from there, Merry! I'm warning you!" The elf hissed in pain as he quickly stood, and walked around tipsily. A groan left Legolas's lips as he ran into a tree and fell down again.
"Are you ok?" the rider on the Elvish horse asked. "Maybe you should return with me to Rivendell, Legolas. We can get to know each other better..."
Legolas whimpered. Another person after him? The elf was seriously thinking that maybe he should have seen if he could die from drowning.
Aragorn walked over to the elf, and helped him stand. "Are you all right?" he asked worriedly.
A spark of hope appeared in everyone's eyes (except for Legolas and Aragorn), as they held their breath, waiting.
"Just peachy," Legolas said. He swung his head back and gave Aragorn a grin. "I feel just fine." The elf then promptly fainted, and Aragorn barely caught him.
"The elf belongs to me!" the messenger shouted. He flung off his cloak and revealed his identity.
"Elrond?" Frodo asked, puzzled.
"You are an elf," Sam pointed out.
Elrond cursed. "So?" he finally snapped. "I want that elf!" He raced over to where Aragorn held Legolas, and shoved the human away. The blond elf wound up striking his head against a rock.
"Ow..." Legolas regained consciousness immediately, and stood. He looked at Aragorn, and frowned. "Why are you dressed like a dancer?"
Aragorn blinked. "Excuse me?" He watched the blond elf curiously, before turning to Elrond. "There is something definitely wrong with him."
Elrond looked amused.
Legolas stumbled around in a daze "I want my mommy..."
"I'll be your mommy," Frodo said.
Sam scowled. "Come here, Legolas! It's your mommy calling!"
Gimli and Boromir threw strange looks at the Hobbits. Aragorn just glared at them.
"Legolas, are you all right?" Aragorn had lost track of how many times the elf had hit his head today. A knot was on Legolas's head because he kept hitting the same spot over and over again.
The Orcs chose that moment to jump out and grab Legolas. They lashed his wrists and feet together, as Legolas blinked at them.
"Are you my mommy?" he asked.
The Orcs froze.
"What?" the leader asked.
Legolas struggled in the ropes, and fell on the ground. He also hit his head for a forth time. "I've got to stop doing that..." he moaned, his voice back to normal. He then realized that he was bound and foot. "Why am I tied up?" he asked.
Saruman chose that moment to appear in a flash of light. "My own... my precious..." he whispered, gazing at the Elven archer. "My precious...my own...
Legolas whimpered, "Aragorn... He's scaring me..."
Aragorn growled, and started forward, when Elrond did two things. First, he thrust the message bag at Aragorn, who caught it, and then he confronted Saruman.
"Legolas is mine!" Elrond shouted.
"He's mine!" Saruman said, using his magic to give him a really cool voice affect.
"No, he's mine!" Gimli grumbled loudly.
Frodo shrieked, "He's mine!"
Sam countered, "No... Legolas is mine!"
"Mine!" Pippin yelled.
"He's mine!" Merry retorted.
"No, mine!" Boromir said loudly.
Gandalf exclaimed, "He's mine!"
"Wrong!" Aragorn bellowed, loudly enough that everyone turned towards him, their mouths open in shock. He'd had enough of this. Legolas belonged to him and no one else. "Legolas is mine!"
Legolas didn't know what to say, but Saruman grabbed him from behind, brandishing his staff.
"Sorry, heir of Isildur, but the elf is mine!" Saruman snapped, as he started the magic so he teleport himself away with Legolas. He beamed at the Orcs. "Thanks for gift-wrapping him for me!"
"Aragorn, help!" Legolas shouted, as the spell was cast. He was gripped firmly by his bound hands, and his green eyes met Aragorn's grey ones.
Aragorn ran forward, but it was too late.
Saruman and Legolas vanished.
To be continued