Sometimes, you can let everything slide by, and it won't hurt. Sometimes it will bite as it passes, and sometimes your failure to act will pull you down with it.
My failure to act was a failure to live, which sent me down as far as you can go. More specifically, hell.
People aren't so badly off here. As a matter of fact, hell isn't all it's cracked up to be. Lilims suffer as much as they made others during their short existence.
Suffering is unique. Pyros are stripped bare and set to with kerosene and matches, exactly as their victims were, and the destructive are destroyed. Thieves are torn from their pride, and lose every object they were allowed to bear to the plundering hands of demons.
Lucky as I am, I
stand more or less alone, surrounded by my own personal hell. As I was once a
pure angel, I merely reside here among the broken souls, my only punishment the
raw truth of it all. The core of my existence now rests here, and no AT field
that once saved me can shield my all-to-vulnerable heart.
The real pain is in the water.
It doesn't scorch
or scald; I never engaged in such tricks upon others anyway, so angel or no,
what matter? Drowning would be kind of it, but I have never even watched
someone being subjected to such torture.
I think… this is worse, somehow. Much worse.
Here, hovering before this cursed water, my pain swells as I watch the course that Shinji's life has taken. Down would be an understatement. Hell would probably be preferable to his current life, and it is something I do not envy. Instead, I watch. Never have I so wished to discard my perfect, lilim-formed eyes, and deafen my ears from each sob and deathwish.