The Story I Neglected To Give A Good Title
by Prathdrake
******************************************************************************
A/N: Dargh! The Olympics are taking up my favorite shows! Anyway...This is an ACHOO (actually, SUSHI now) challenge! Boy, do they keep gettin' tougher! The requirements for this one are:
-Someone must say, "As you say in America: Neener, neener, neeeener!"
-Someone must say, "But... I don't drink!"
-Someone has to say, "Oh yeah? Who be the Masta Ho now??"
-Someone has to say, "Ain't there no decency left?"
-It has to be a Mary Sue or a Billy Bob (I did both).
******************************************************************************
Legal Stuff: You already know I don't own any of the HP characters or terms!
******************************************************************************
"You got it?" asked George.
"Yeah," replied Fred, pulling out a bag of powder, "You got them?"
"You bet," said George. He pulled out a sneaker and a lightbulb from under his cloak.
"Put them on the table," demanded Fred, "And then I can bing them to LIFE! Bwahahaha!"
They both giggled like mad scientists some more. Who knew what they were up to? I do.
Fred sprinkled the sneaker and bulb with the magic powder. Suddenly, the shoe and the bulb started growing legs, arms, hands, feet and heads. They were ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
"We have to test them," said George, "But how?"
"I've got just the way," said Fred sneakily. He turned to the living objects. "First," he said, "What are your names?"
"Mary Shoe" said the shoe.
"Billy Bulb." said the bulb.
"Oh I get it," exclaimed George, finally catching on, "Second, What is your favorite color?"
"Dirt brown," said Mary.
"White hot," said Billy.
"Perfect," stated Fred, "And finally, what is your quest?" But before Mary Shoe and Billy Bulb answered, the narrator was blown away in a gust of wind, so we can't hear their answers.
****
The next day, Harry, Hermione and Ron were in Transfigurations Class.
"Students," said Prof. Mcgonnagle in her cracking voice (you think she would have been past puberty yet), "We have new students in our class today. Please welcome," she looked at a piece of paper, "Mary Shoe and Billy Bulb!"
Fred and George giggled insanely.
"Do you you know something about these new students?" questioned Hermione to them. They giggled louder.
"No," Fred and George said unanimously.
"Strange," said Ron, "Mary Shoe and Billy Bulb. Those names seem oddly familar..."
Fred and George giggled more. The two students walked into the classroom and immediately sat down by George and Fred.
"I see you have met some new friends already," said the clueless Proffesor.
Fred and George giggled. Proffesor Mcgonnagle stared at them for a while, then continued the lesson.
"Today, class," she said, "We will be learning how to tranfigure common household items..."
George guffawed and Fred let out a belly laugh.
****
"You know something about those new kids, don't you?" asked Hermione at lunch. George and Fred looked at each other, then giggled some more.
"Stop that incesant giggling!" yelled Hermione, now standing up, "Now tell me everything you know about them!!!"
"As you say in America," said Fred, "Neener, neener,neeeener!!! Hehehe!" They left just as Mary and Billy came in. As the new students ate, Hermione watched them closely. Too closely if you ask me. But anyway, Hermione noticed that their etiquitte was wonderful. Not just wonderful, supreme.
"Are they perfect?" she asked herself, "No, that's impossible. Nobody's perfect."
****
Snape was handing out tests the next day.
"Potter-" he said, "Ninety. Weasley- Seventy. Granger-" Hermione crossed her fingers.
"One hundred and ten," said Snape.
"Yes!" hissed Hermione to herself, "Nobody can beat a perfect score like that!"
Snape went on, "Shoe- One hundred and fifty, Bulb- Two hundred."
Hermione stared at them in disbelief. Higher marks than her? Never in the history of Hogwarts had anyone got a higher mark than her. She had discovered that when reading "Hogwarts a History" for a ninth time.
Hermione pulled out her own personal copy of "Hogwarts a History". There, on the back page in bold, black letters were the terrifying words.
"...New students Mary Shoe and Billy Bulb obtained higher marks than Hermione Granger..." it stated. Hermione threw the book on the ground.
"Curse these books that keep updating themselves!" she shouted. Then she noticed that every person in the class was watching her. Except for George and Fred. They were giggling to themselves...again. "Uh...carry on," said Hermione. She quickly sat back down and Fred and George giggled some more.
****
Hermione confronted Mary and Billy after classes that day.
"How dare you get higher marks than me!," she exploded, "Ain't there no decency left!?!?!? "You're not supposed to be good at school!!! I am!!!!"
"Oh yeah?" said Billy, "Who be the Masta Ho now??"
"Billy," said Mary, shocked, "You shouldn't say such rude things!"
"You're right!" Billy agreed. Then he turned to Hermione, "I'm sorry for what I said, Hermione. I hope you'll forgive me." He bowed (?) then turned around and left.
Hermione had been wrong all along. They were perfect.
****
The next few days were the same. The Weasleys giggling. Hermione with her frazzled nerves. Mary Shoe and Billy Bulb being perfect. What's a girl to do?
Hermione burst into the Gryffindor common room one night.
"Harry!" she yelled. Harry came bursting into the room.
"Whasamatta?" said Harrysounding very much like a gangster, "Are you in pain?"
"No," answered Hermione, "I just need someone to complain to!"
"Complain away!" said Harry a little too happily. He sat down in a chair facing Hermione.
"Well, first of all," droned Hermione, "Mary and Billy have been getting better than perfect marks on EVERYTHING! They gave advice to Dumbledore, which he ACCEPTED, and they helped the house elves in the kitchen on their FREE TIME!"
"That must be nerve racking," said Harry, pulling out a pad of paper, every minute looking more like a psychologist.
"There's more," said Hermione, "They even donated to CHARITY!"
"Wow," said Harry, "That's a hard thing to do at Hogwarts!"
"They sicken me!" said Hermione.
"It's nice to know you feel that way," said Harry. He continued writing on his pad.
****
"A special feast will be held today a t lunch," came Dumbledore's voice out of nowhere during classes." That was all that was said.
"Wow!" said Ron, "I wonder what it's being held for..."
Ron and everyone else found out soon enough. At lunch that day, Dumbledore stood up and started talking.
"Everyone, stuff it! Now, we would like to honor the hardest working students we have this year. And their names are... Mary Shoe and Billy Bulb!
"Hooooooraaaaaay!..." shouted almost evryone in the Great Hall.
"Noooooooooooooooo!" shouted Hermione. With that, she keeled over and died.
"Shame,' said Ron.
"Thank goodness," giggled Fred and George, "Now that she's dead, we can tell you our plan."
"Plan?" queried Ron, "Do you mean to kill her?"
"Yup," said George, "She was always trying to get us expelled. We hated her!"
"So that's why we set this living shoe and this lightbulb on her," added George, pointing to Mary and Billy.
"Now it makes sense," said Ron.
"A toast to Mary and Billy!" yelled Dumbledore.
Loud and clear came the voices of the shoe and the bulb,
"But... I don't drink!"
THE END
******************************************************************************
A/N: I kill Hermione waaaaaaaaay to often in my stories, don't I? Please review.
******************************************************************************
by Prathdrake
******************************************************************************
A/N: Dargh! The Olympics are taking up my favorite shows! Anyway...This is an ACHOO (actually, SUSHI now) challenge! Boy, do they keep gettin' tougher! The requirements for this one are:
-Someone must say, "As you say in America: Neener, neener, neeeener!"
-Someone must say, "But... I don't drink!"
-Someone has to say, "Oh yeah? Who be the Masta Ho now??"
-Someone has to say, "Ain't there no decency left?"
-It has to be a Mary Sue or a Billy Bob (I did both).
******************************************************************************
Legal Stuff: You already know I don't own any of the HP characters or terms!
******************************************************************************
"You got it?" asked George.
"Yeah," replied Fred, pulling out a bag of powder, "You got them?"
"You bet," said George. He pulled out a sneaker and a lightbulb from under his cloak.
"Put them on the table," demanded Fred, "And then I can bing them to LIFE! Bwahahaha!"
They both giggled like mad scientists some more. Who knew what they were up to? I do.
Fred sprinkled the sneaker and bulb with the magic powder. Suddenly, the shoe and the bulb started growing legs, arms, hands, feet and heads. They were ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
"We have to test them," said George, "But how?"
"I've got just the way," said Fred sneakily. He turned to the living objects. "First," he said, "What are your names?"
"Mary Shoe" said the shoe.
"Billy Bulb." said the bulb.
"Oh I get it," exclaimed George, finally catching on, "Second, What is your favorite color?"
"Dirt brown," said Mary.
"White hot," said Billy.
"Perfect," stated Fred, "And finally, what is your quest?" But before Mary Shoe and Billy Bulb answered, the narrator was blown away in a gust of wind, so we can't hear their answers.
****
The next day, Harry, Hermione and Ron were in Transfigurations Class.
"Students," said Prof. Mcgonnagle in her cracking voice (you think she would have been past puberty yet), "We have new students in our class today. Please welcome," she looked at a piece of paper, "Mary Shoe and Billy Bulb!"
Fred and George giggled insanely.
"Do you you know something about these new students?" questioned Hermione to them. They giggled louder.
"No," Fred and George said unanimously.
"Strange," said Ron, "Mary Shoe and Billy Bulb. Those names seem oddly familar..."
Fred and George giggled more. The two students walked into the classroom and immediately sat down by George and Fred.
"I see you have met some new friends already," said the clueless Proffesor.
Fred and George giggled. Proffesor Mcgonnagle stared at them for a while, then continued the lesson.
"Today, class," she said, "We will be learning how to tranfigure common household items..."
George guffawed and Fred let out a belly laugh.
****
"You know something about those new kids, don't you?" asked Hermione at lunch. George and Fred looked at each other, then giggled some more.
"Stop that incesant giggling!" yelled Hermione, now standing up, "Now tell me everything you know about them!!!"
"As you say in America," said Fred, "Neener, neener,neeeener!!! Hehehe!" They left just as Mary and Billy came in. As the new students ate, Hermione watched them closely. Too closely if you ask me. But anyway, Hermione noticed that their etiquitte was wonderful. Not just wonderful, supreme.
"Are they perfect?" she asked herself, "No, that's impossible. Nobody's perfect."
****
Snape was handing out tests the next day.
"Potter-" he said, "Ninety. Weasley- Seventy. Granger-" Hermione crossed her fingers.
"One hundred and ten," said Snape.
"Yes!" hissed Hermione to herself, "Nobody can beat a perfect score like that!"
Snape went on, "Shoe- One hundred and fifty, Bulb- Two hundred."
Hermione stared at them in disbelief. Higher marks than her? Never in the history of Hogwarts had anyone got a higher mark than her. She had discovered that when reading "Hogwarts a History" for a ninth time.
Hermione pulled out her own personal copy of "Hogwarts a History". There, on the back page in bold, black letters were the terrifying words.
"...New students Mary Shoe and Billy Bulb obtained higher marks than Hermione Granger..." it stated. Hermione threw the book on the ground.
"Curse these books that keep updating themselves!" she shouted. Then she noticed that every person in the class was watching her. Except for George and Fred. They were giggling to themselves...again. "Uh...carry on," said Hermione. She quickly sat back down and Fred and George giggled some more.
****
Hermione confronted Mary and Billy after classes that day.
"How dare you get higher marks than me!," she exploded, "Ain't there no decency left!?!?!? "You're not supposed to be good at school!!! I am!!!!"
"Oh yeah?" said Billy, "Who be the Masta Ho now??"
"Billy," said Mary, shocked, "You shouldn't say such rude things!"
"You're right!" Billy agreed. Then he turned to Hermione, "I'm sorry for what I said, Hermione. I hope you'll forgive me." He bowed (?) then turned around and left.
Hermione had been wrong all along. They were perfect.
****
The next few days were the same. The Weasleys giggling. Hermione with her frazzled nerves. Mary Shoe and Billy Bulb being perfect. What's a girl to do?
Hermione burst into the Gryffindor common room one night.
"Harry!" she yelled. Harry came bursting into the room.
"Whasamatta?" said Harrysounding very much like a gangster, "Are you in pain?"
"No," answered Hermione, "I just need someone to complain to!"
"Complain away!" said Harry a little too happily. He sat down in a chair facing Hermione.
"Well, first of all," droned Hermione, "Mary and Billy have been getting better than perfect marks on EVERYTHING! They gave advice to Dumbledore, which he ACCEPTED, and they helped the house elves in the kitchen on their FREE TIME!"
"That must be nerve racking," said Harry, pulling out a pad of paper, every minute looking more like a psychologist.
"There's more," said Hermione, "They even donated to CHARITY!"
"Wow," said Harry, "That's a hard thing to do at Hogwarts!"
"They sicken me!" said Hermione.
"It's nice to know you feel that way," said Harry. He continued writing on his pad.
****
"A special feast will be held today a t lunch," came Dumbledore's voice out of nowhere during classes." That was all that was said.
"Wow!" said Ron, "I wonder what it's being held for..."
Ron and everyone else found out soon enough. At lunch that day, Dumbledore stood up and started talking.
"Everyone, stuff it! Now, we would like to honor the hardest working students we have this year. And their names are... Mary Shoe and Billy Bulb!
"Hooooooraaaaaay!..." shouted almost evryone in the Great Hall.
"Noooooooooooooooo!" shouted Hermione. With that, she keeled over and died.
"Shame,' said Ron.
"Thank goodness," giggled Fred and George, "Now that she's dead, we can tell you our plan."
"Plan?" queried Ron, "Do you mean to kill her?"
"Yup," said George, "She was always trying to get us expelled. We hated her!"
"So that's why we set this living shoe and this lightbulb on her," added George, pointing to Mary and Billy.
"Now it makes sense," said Ron.
"A toast to Mary and Billy!" yelled Dumbledore.
Loud and clear came the voices of the shoe and the bulb,
"But... I don't drink!"
THE END
******************************************************************************
A/N: I kill Hermione waaaaaaaaay to often in my stories, don't I? Please review.
******************************************************************************