The Third Inverse
Chapter One: WHY ME? Lina's Recurring Headache!
It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the air was cool without being cold. The trees were showing just the barest beginnings of autumn and the birds were stretching their wings in preparation for the long flight south. As they circled on the thermals far above the earth, they nodded cordially to the odd bandit sent up for a good view.
Too bad Lina was too busy running to appreciate it.
"Fireball! Fireball!" Four more bandits (two per Fireball) went up to chat with the birdies. Lina didn't even break her stride as she ran between the two smoking pits and jumped over a trip-line. "AAAAAAGH, WHY ME?"
Gourry was too busy running to answer. He slashed a barricade open with his sword and jumped through the opening, followed by Lina (who was beginning to feel a bit like a rabbit with all this jumping). Ahead of them, Zelgadis had made good use of his enhanced speed by sprinting ahead, setting off the more dangerous traps while still getting through them so fast that the most damage he took was the occasional tear on the end of his battered cloak.
"Miss Linaaaaaaaa!" Amelia cried, understandably upset since Lina had her by the back of her collar and was pulling her along behind so fast that Amelia was parallel to the ground. Lina really didn't want to do that – Amelia was heavy! – but the silly princess had tried to start her usual speechificating when they'd been attacked, and she hadn't responded quickly enough when Lina decided it was time to find safer territory.
"Mou~~~~~~!" Lina groaned as she ran between a pair of bandits who were still absorbing the idea that Gourry had cut their swords off at the hilts when they'd tried to get in the way. "How many of these clowns are there?!"
"Troubles, Lina-chan?" Xellos asked, phasing into the air alongside her and keeping pace. Lina didn't bother answering. She just grabbed the trickster priest and used him as a handy shield against one of the traps that Zel hadn't managed to trigger when he'd run the gauntlet. Xellos made a funny squeaking noise as his face was introduced to a heavy stone.
"Busy, talk later!" Lina gasped between Fireballs as she found herself with a good line-up of bandits. "Where are these guys coming from?"
"Lina!" Gourry shouted. "This way!" The blond swordsman swerved right, leaving the trail for a stretch of smooth stone that lead to a ledge running alongside and above the trail.
"YOU WON'T GET AWAY SO EASY! THAT BOUNTY IS OURS!!" the bandit leader shouted. Lina had to admit, it was impressive that the main group of bandits had managed to keep up. They'd even managed to collect some of their number that the group had passed earlier.
"Bounty? Who would do such a thing to warriors of Justice like us?" Amelia cried.
Lina would have given the girl a shake if she hadn't been so busy. "Lots of people, now be quiet!"
"Grey Bomb!" she heard Zelgadis shout from somewhere ahead and above her. The hair on the back of Lina's neck stood straight as the spell passed by her ear and impacted the wall next to where she'd just been. With a thunderous crash, the stone collapsed in that area, creating a veritable wall between the hunted quartet and the bandits.
Lina and Gourry kept up their dash until they'd put some good distance between themselves and the bandits. After a few moments, Zelgadis rejoined them, jumping off the rise he'd used to get a good view of the chase. Lina didn't slow down, but she did bop him on the head, hard.
"Ow!" Zelgadis staggered for a second before regaining his balance, while Lina yelped and shook her hand. "What was that for?"
"For scaring me like that! Watch where you aim those spells next time!"
Zelgadis didn't even grace that comment with a reply.
The four finally came to a stop. Lina unceremoniously dropped Amelia to the dirt road and shook her hand to get the blood flowing again in the fingers. Amelia wailed about her collar for a moment, then began ranting about the injustice of the attack, while Gourry simply slumped over with his hands braced on his knees to recover. Zelgadis, the least winded by the whole chase, kept an eye around them for any potential trouble.
When everyone had their breath back with no sign of continued pursuit, Zelgadis looked at Lina. "Do we have any clue as to what that was all about?"
Lina sighed. "Something about a bounty, I think," she said. "Sheesh, I thought we already took care of all the people who would want to get us. I'm fairly sure that we haven't done anything worth this lately." She eyed the chimera suspiciously. "Although I can't be so sure about you, since you only just turned up…"
Zelgadis held his hands up defensively as if to keep her back. "I've probably caused less trouble than you," he assured her quickly.
Lina sighed and shook her scarlet hair out of her face. "Well, nothing to do now but find whoever put the bounty on us this time and… persuade them that it's not worth the trouble."
"Last time this happened, that was exactly what they wanted us to do, if you've forgotten…" Zelgadis reminded her.
"Ne, Lina? Has this happened before?" Gourry asked, blinking at them.
Lina stared at him, opened her mouth, then shook her head and turned away, waving a hand in resignation. "Zel… you handle him this time."
Zelgadis began to explain the situation to Gourry – again – but then looked at the swordsman. He sighed. "Yes, it has," he answered simply.
"Oh, okay!" Gourry said with a smile.
Zelgadis caught Lina's skeptical look and simply shrugged. "Do you want to keep repeating yourself over and over? He'd just forget anyway."
"Point," Lina admitted. She gestured grandly to the open road. "Well, we aren't going to get any info here if there aren't any people. Let's find a town and start…" She cracked her knuckles with a big grin. "…asking questions."
Lina had long ago learned that one plain little hamlet was pretty much like any other. Mostly quiet, usually with one inn, often scared of her, almost inevitably plagued by one bandit gang or another, and universally highly intolerant of large explosions.
"Miss Lina, don't you think that Fireball was a little much?" Amelia asked, as they once again found themselves running, this time from the quintessential pitchfork-and-club mob. "They were very nice and you blew up the mayor's house!"
"Oh be quiet," Lina grumbled. "It's not like I asked him to ally with those stupid bandits!"
"Hey, Lina?" Gourry mumbled (he was currently being dragged by the combined efforts of Amelia and Lina, who was complaining bitterly that it seemed like she was always dragging somebody around). "Why was the mayor working with them, anyway?"
"Who can know the mind of the wicked?" Amelia asked. She left it at that, which made everyone else blink.
"Right. What she said, Gourry."
"Oi, where's Zel?" the swordsman asked suddenly.
The two females looked around, suddenly realizing that their surroundings were deficient of their stony-skinned friend, and looked at each other.
"Dammit, of all the times to wander off…!"
"Miss Lina! You don't think… that… they got him… do you?"
"They? Who're they?"
"Them!"
"Amelia, either say something coherent or don't say anything at all! Who are they? The villagers or the bandits?"
"I'm fine," Zelgadis said, rejoining them from off the road. "I was just investigating something useful."
"Oh yeah?" Lina snarled. "Like wha…"
She was interrupted by a roll of parchment smacking her in the face. "The bounty notice," Zelgadis said curtly. "We can look at it later."
Lina pouted. "Why not now?" she asked, stowing the parchment in her cloak.
"Them, perhaps?" he asked with the barest hint of a smile, pointing behind her before setting off at a run again.
Lina and Amelia glanced back to see that the villagers had taken advantage of their momentary drop in pace to close the gap between them.
"Eep."
"Man, what a grouchy lot," Lina grumbled at the campfire that evening. The villagers had been more tenacious than the usual bunch, who normally gave up somewhere around the five-mile mark. "It's not like I Dragon Slaved the village or anything, it was one dinky little building. Those people need to learn to relax."
Fortunately, Amelia was so busy rubbing her legs and complaining to answer. If she had launched into another lecture about love and justice, Lina's patience might have given way completely.
"What about that poster Zel gave you?" Gourrry asked, turning the food over the fire.
"I've got it right here," Lina said, patting her pocket.
"What's it about?" the swordsman asked.
"How should I know? I haven't exactly had a chance to read it yet."
"Oh… why not?"
Lina felt the beginnings of a headache. "Because we were busy running, remember?"
"Oh, we were?" Gourry poked at a rabbit before deciding it was still pretty raw. "Ne, Lina?"
That headache was threatening to escalate to full Gourry-strength. "Yes?" she asked warily.
"Why were they chasing us again?"
Zelgadis, on the other side of the fire, just shook his head. Gourry's absent-mindedness was frustrating if you let it get to you, but at the same time there was something refreshing about the confirmation that some things would simply never change. "We should look at it, however," he said.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Lina muttered, reaching into her pocket and pulling out the parchment. The others gathered around her as she moved a little closer to the fire for light and unrolled the bounty notice.
Then everyone made a nose-dive for the ground as they simultaneously face-faulted in shock.
"ONE HUNDRED FIFTY THOUSAND GOLD PIECES?" Lina screeched, snatching the paper up to stare at it again. " 'Wanted: One Lina Inverse of Zephilia. Age approximately sixteen. Hair color: red. Eye color: red. Skin color: fair. Approximately 5'2", 120 lbs' – How DARE they imply my weight! – Female. Diminutive stature' – okay, that's it, SOMEBODY DIES!"
Zelgadis wisely rescued the parchment before Lina could blow it up or do something equally destructive. "Let's finish reading this, then you can incinerate it," he told the fiery sorceress, who at the moment was venting steam out her ears.
For a long, tense moment Lina didn't respond, then she sighed and waved a hand. "Yeah, yeah… carry on, Zel."
Making a mental note to skip any particularly unflattering information (Lina might not officially subscribe to the philosophy of kill-the-messenger, but when she lost her temper she tended to zap the immediate target), the chimera continued reading. " '…Dresses in the fashion of a traveling sorceress; preferred clothing: black cloak without hood, black and gold shoulder armor, red leggings and tunic…' "
"They're not red, they're magenta," Lina grumbled.
Amelia sighed. "Miss Lina, it may be unjust, but most bounty hunters don't have that sort of vocabulary…"
"Remember, this notice is aimed at people like Gourry," Zelgadis said, nodding to the swordsman.
Lina blinked, then turned to her blond companion. "Gourry…" she asked in a sugary voice that gave all of her companions chills. "What color do you think my shirt is?"
"Huh?" Baby-blue eyes blinked at her. "Ummm… why?"
"Just answer the question," she said.
"Ummm, sorta a pinkish-loudish red?"
Lina sighed and slumped over in defeat. "Keep going, Zel."
" '…white gloves and boots, round gold earrings, and red gems in shoulder guards, at cloak and belt clasps, and on wrists.' Whoever wrote this certainly keeps up to date, Lina, if they're mentioning the Demon's Blood Talismans."
"Keep going," the sorceress snarled. "I want to hurt the people who wrote that notice!"
"Miss Lina, that's not very just…"
"THEY IMPLIED I WAS SMALL-CHESTED AND GUESSED ABOUT MY WEIGHT!" Lina said, looming over the princess suddenly.
"Waaaaaaah! S-s-s-scary…" Amelia whimpered.
Lina ignored her and turned her attention back to the chimera. "Well, what else does it say?" she asked.
Zelgadis made a mental note to be even more careful than normal around Lina, who seemed even more explosive than normal. He just hoped that her temper wasn't an indication that she would be losing her magic soon. That was the last thing they needed to deal with. "Right. '…Often seen in the company of Gourry Gabriev, Amelia of Sailoon' – they don't mention that she's also the princess – 'and Zelgadis Greywords. Also known to be a companion of Sylphiel of Sairaag, Martina of Zoana, Naga the White Serpent and a violet-haired priest of unknown alignment and identity at times.' "
"Hmmm, they were thorough," Lina said grudgingly. "I haven't traveled with Naga in years, and they even mentioned Xellos. Speaking of whom, where is he? I haven't seen him since I blocked that trap with him…"
"Miss Lina, who is Naga?" Amelia asked curiously.
"I'll tell you later," Lina said with a shudder. "Just someone you never want to hear laugh. Keep going, Zel."
" 'Wanted alive…' – there's a first. '…with a reward of 150,000 gold pieces. For information leading to the capture of Lina Inverse, a reward of ten thousand gold is offered.' These people are not poor, whoever they are. 'Contact the Silvertime house in Mane, Kalmaart to collect.' "
"Alright…" Lina said with a dangerous light in her eyes. "We've got a place. Let's get 'em!"
'Let's get 'em!' was a fine concept in theory, but the execution was a little difficult.
"She~~~~~~~~esh! Talk about sore losers!" Lina said with exasperation as she fried the by now sickeningly familiar Bandit Boss again. "You'd think they'd catch a clue after a while, wouldn't you?"
"They're bandits," Zelgadis said with a small shrug. "The brightest idea that the bandit population as a whole has cooked up in the course of the past two years was to stop naming their groups and start just referring to themselves by number, since you keep blowing them up."
"You mean they thought that a lame, un-cool name would make me lose interest?" Lina asked skeptically.
"More likely they were tired of trying to think up original names every time you came through," the chimera said, a glimmer of amusement in his visible eye.
"YES! ANOTHER VICTORY FOR THE ALLIES OF JUSTICE!" they heard Amelia crow from a little farther up the trail. "LOVE AND PEACE WILL ALWAYS PREVAIL WITH THE WATCHFUL EYE OF THE HAMMER OF JUSTICE ABOVE THEM AND- oh, sorry, Mr. Xellos, I didn't see you over there…"
Lina grinned evilly. "Xellos?" She broke into a run, hoping to catch the trickster priest before he vanished on them again.
She arrived on the scene and wasted no time putting Xellos in a headlock. "Why, hello there, Xellos. So nice of you to join us," Lina purred. "Tell me, have you been to Mane recently?"
The surprise on Xellos's face seemed genuine, although with the mazoku it was never a sure thing. "Mane? What brought that nonsequitor on, Lina-chan?"
"Just answer the question," the sorceress demanded, tightening her grip on his neck. Unfortunately, this had the side effect of cutting off Xellos's air supply. While the mazoku didn't need to breathe in order to live, he did need the use of his throat and air in order to speak. Amelia hurriedly pointed this out. "Oh, fine," Lina said, letting go and allowing the purple-haired psuedo-man to fall.
Xellos bounced right back like a cockroach (impossible to step on and indestructible when you do). "Hmmm… I can't say that I have, Lina-chan. Why?"
"So you don't have anything to do with this?" Producing the parchment from somewhere, Lina brandished the bounty notice in Xellos's face.
Xellos took the notice and looked at it (though how he read through his apparently closed eyes, Lina wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know). "Hmmmm… very interesting. No, I haven't had anything to do with this."
"Then do you know anything about it??" She hated Twenty Questions.
"Well, now that you mention it… It might be conceivable that it could be possible…"
"Just answer the question!" Zelgadis snapped, giving the mazoku a malevolent glare.
"Sore wa…"
"DON'T SAY IT!" Lina yelled, lunging for Xellos.
"…himitsu desu!" Xellos vanished – taking the bounty notice with him.
"Why that… that…!" Lina groped for words venomous enough to express her feelings.
"Hey Lina, at least we know that he isn't working for the bad guys this time!" Gourry said cheerfully.
"How do you figure that?" Lina asked darkly.
"Well, he's never actually lied, has he?" Gourry looked startled at his own brilliance. "I mean, he's annoying and everything but whenever he says something it's always the truth, right?"
"Yeah, it's what he doesn't say that worries me."
"Why, Miss Lina? Surely he would tell us if it was harmful."
"Amelia, what reality have you been living in…? Wait, nevermind. I forgot who I was talking to. Come on, minna. We aren't getting any answers here."
Lina turned and began trudging down the road again. Sometimes she wondered if there was a little demon out there somewhere who periodically said, "Whoops, Lina's having fun again, we'd better mess up her life some more!" Sometimes she was convinced that the demon also had purple hair and an excruciatingly annoying catch-line.
But something was telling her that this was going to end up being much more serious than a few burst blood vessels from frustration.
Lina paused and looked up. "Enough with the foreshadowing!"
Sorry. ^_^
"Damn mazoku… when I get my hands on you…!"
^_^; Rats. I hoped she wouldn't notice… Ummm, who are you?
The Mistress of the Keyboard. Move over. I have… plans for you. evil grinO.o …Ohboy.
"An inn! Thank the kami! I have had enough of swimming in this rain!"
Swimming was something of an exaggeration to Zelgadis, but he couldn't deny that the downpour was incredible. The rain was coming down so fast that none of the water had a chance to drain, leaving a general sheet of water over the ground that regularly deepened to three or four inches. Everyone's shoes and boots were waterlogged.
"Maybe the gods haven't forsaken us!" Gourry whooped, livening almost instantly and dashing for the promise of shelter. He wasn't alone; the girls were right on his heels. Lina, in fact, vaulted over Gourry, no small feat as the blond mercenary was close to twice her height.
Zelgadis hesitated. He wasn't quite sure why, but he had the strangest feeling that they were being watched. He couldn't feel the odd 'echo' that marked Mazoku, however. (His own one-third demonic character made identifying the monsters much easier, part of the reason why he had never gotten along with Xellos from square one.) The promise of shelter and hot food overrode the shaman's cautious nature for once, however, although he made an internal resolution to keep his eyes and ears open for trouble.
Because of Zelgadis's delay, by the time he arrived in the inn, the others had already gotten their rooms. The rain had forced all travelers off the road and into the inn, meaning that the group had to double up into a boy's room and a girl's room. Xellos had not, as yet, returned – although Zelgadis would have put money on the chance that the mazoku would show up in one of their rooms before the night was out. The chimera was even willing to bet that if anyone actually encountered Xellos, it would either be him or Lina. Xellos just worked that way. If he was seen, he was infuriating. If he wasn't, he was still infuriating.
The chimera may not like the mazoku, but he had to grant this much: Xellos was good at his hobby, namely annoying people.
"Bring us food, and lots of it!" Lina declared from the table they had commandeered. As Zelgadis joined the group, he saw the pale, woe-are-we expressions on the waitresses and the cook that indicated Hurricane Lina had been through here before. He only hoped that they realized that Lina had brought two appetite-clones with her this time.
Apparently, they did realize, although when he politely asked for "just coffee, please," the serving girl almost fainted with relief. It was nice to know that frugality was appreciated.
"Man!" Lina exclaimed when the food began arriving, tearing into it like a ravenous beast (which some would claim she was, sometimes (if they were stupid) in her hearing), "I can't believe this! Three weeks on the road and we still don't have a clue as to who is behind this mess!" She snarled and took her rage out on the helpless meal, wielding knife, fork, spoon and teeth with lethal (or at least genuinely terrifying) skill.
The sorceress had good reason for being angry. They had been harassed every day of the journey and everyone was frankly getting tired of it. No matter which route they took or what precautions they took, the bandits and bounty hunters were determined to pursue them. Even Lina's trademarked Dragon Slave only discouraged pursuit long enough for them to get a good head start.
Fortunately, there was some kind of aura about all inns that marked them as Sanctuary For the Hungry and Tired – namely, you could get attacked at an inn, but only a couple times, and anything more than that, everyone else would gang up on the attackers and beat them into the dirt for the disturbance. Interestingly, fellow guests never attacked them in the inn, probably because they didn't want to be kicked out.
Zelgadis left the table early, as usual, but the others soon also came upstairs, having gotten tired of the crunch of people in the common room. The band gathered in Lina and Amelia's room for a war council.
"All right," Lina said briskly, slapping imaginary dust off her hands as they sat in a circle. Lina had claimed the bed immediately, and Amelia had jumped in the only chair in the room before either of the men could claim it. Gourry perched on the desk – a little out of the circle of conversation, but then again he rarely contributed much more than a perpetual headache – and Zelgadis sat Indian-style on the floor with his back against the bed, not entirely trusting the furniture to hold his weight. "We've got a situation."
"Do tell," the chimera said with light sarcasm.
Lina ignored him. "I'm sick of blasting bandits, we aren't even getting any treasure for it! I say it's time for some subterfuge!"
"Lina, that's not a very nice thing to say!" Gourry said, sounding shocked.
Somehow, Lina managed to bonk the swordsman on the head without leaving the bed. "Do you even know what subterfuge means, yogurt-for-brains?"
"Ummmm… uh… hmmm…" Gourry began scratching his head as though hoping he would stimulate his brain. "Uhmmm… well… Hey, Lina, what was the question again?"
"Never mind," the others chorused.
"But Miss Lina," Amelia began, picking up the conversation again, "surely Warriors for Justice such as ourselves should not be forced to hide from the Minions of Evil!" (Vocal capitalization – too too old Sailoon technique of Speechification-fu. Is very secret art!)
"We aren't hiding, we're just avoiding conflict, right Zel?" Lina said hurriedly. "Anyway, we've got enough on our plates to worry about as it is. Four people are a lot harder to hide than two…"
"No," Zelgadis said, "we shouldn't split up."
"Why not?" the sorceress demanded, giving him the evil eye.
"Because even if there aren't warrants out for the rest of us, bounty hunters are still going to go after us if they think it will give them an advantage over you," he said. Left unspoken but understood between the two was the additional comment, 'Not to mention getting stuck with Amelia or Gourry would be intolerable for either one of us and we can hardly send those two off together without someone to keep them out of trouble.'
"Okay, point," Lina said. "But that means our only alternative is…" There was an evil light in her eyes as she looked at the two men.
"NO WAY," Gourry and Zelgadis chorused.
"You are not putting me in a dress again!!" Gourry screeched.
"Mr. Gourry! Zelgadis-san! Warriors of Justice should be willing to make sacrifices!" Amelia declared, standing on her chair.
"Fine, fine," Zelgadis said, "then I suppose you and Lina won't object to dressing as boys?"
"NO WAY!" Lina yelped.
"Then we aren't dressing as girls," the chimera said flatly. "Find some other way."
"Spoilsport," Lina grumbled.
"Hey, why don't we dress them up like boys?" Gourry said suddenly. "I mean, they wear boy-type stuff already, and Lina looks like a boy…"
WHAM.
"Idiot," Lina growled, turning away from the flattened swordsman.
"Actually…" Zelgadis said. "Let's pursue that thought." He blanched at the looks the girls were giving him and hurriedly continued. "Maybe we should try mixing and matching things a little." He pulled off his cloak and tossed it to Lina. "There, try that on for a minute."
"Huh? Sure, I guess…" The sorceress pulled the cloth around her shoulders. She fidgeted with it for a moment before getting it to hang in a style she felt appropriate for her grandeur and beauty, then looked at the chimera.
Zelgadis grinned and looked around Lina to Amelia. "Well? What do you think, will she do?"
Amelia's eyes were as round (and as large) as dinner plates. "A…amazing…"
Lina's eyebrows were by this line almost lost in her hairline. Turning, she looked at the window, using the night-darkened glass as a crude mirror. Soon her grin matched Zelgadis's. "Excellent…" she purred.
(A.N. – Review, o kudasai. Let me know if I should continue. And if you have any further ideas, I'm all ears.
Oh, and they're not mine, I'm sad to say. Only the plot is.
--Kryal (Cally))