The Third Inverse
Chapter Two: TRICKY! The Search for the Enemy!
It was a very different group that walked into the next town, only a few days out from Mane.
"Grandfather, please stop playing with your hair," the young woman said, laying a gentle hand on her companion's arm.
"Eh? Oh! Are we here?" The old man straightened slightly, but continued leaning on his walking stick. His long hair was an incongruous bright yellow that could only have been achieved through highly injudicious use of dye. The obviously senile old man squinted around at the town. "Wow! I bet they have a lot to eat here! I'm hungry!"
The young woman sighed sadly and patted his arm. "Just stay with me and look after me, Grandpa? You know I can't do this without you!"
"Of course I'll stay!" the false blonde said. "After all…" He puffed his chest out and flexed his free arm, showing that while he was old and bent, he was still powerfully muscular. "I'm your bodyguard!"
The young woman nodded and smiled, but her eyes were on their companions. One, the small, white-robed one, carried itself with an air of detached interest and curiosity but emanated a feeling of confidence and assurance. That one was wrapped entirely in its cloak, hiding every feature. The other, dressed in black with the deep hood hiding his face and the hem of the cloak falling down to his knees, was a man of some kind. His clothing was loose-fitting. He moved like a hunting cat, sure and quick with an aura of readiness. He carried himself like someone expecting an attack at any moment. A sword was strapped to his back, ready for use.
The girl noticed the attention that they were getting and nervously tugged at her scarlet tunic. She smiled a little nervously at the villagers, her big blue eyes as friendly as those of her Grandpa. "Excuse me?" she called politely. "Do you know where the inn might be?" She quickly thanked the child who gave her directions and hooked elbows with her Grandfather, making everyone smile at the obvious familial affection between the two.
The white-robed figure did not move immediately, not until the black-clothed one lightly touched its shoulder. The two followed their companions, the black one remaining slightly behind and to the right of the white, as though protecting it.
The inn was a good one; a little large for the town it was in, but that was understandable as they were on a main trade road. Guests would often come here to find shelter for the night on their way from Here to There or from There to Here. The old man and his daughter entered, the old man almost prancing like a strapping fellow of twenty-five at the sight of the food, and they immediately seemed to brighten the air around them.
The man in black entered cautiously, seeming to study everything around. Only when he seemed absolutely convinced that there was nothing to pose even a remote risk did he step to the side and hold the door open for his white-clad companion, who glided in like an ethereal spirit. These two carried an air of mystery about them, an air of 'we have been places and seen things that make your most beautiful dreams dull and your most terrible nightmares but a chill in the night.'
Then they removed their hoods.
The figure in white was revealed to be a woman, fair-skinned and delicate, with dark, deep red hair and beautifully expressive eyes of gemlike quality. She watched everything with the air of one who has been everywhere and done all that she could but still rejoiced in all the tiny pleasures of life.
Her companion was not even remotely human.
Silver hair cascaded down a face of the purest pale sapphire. Silver glinted along the chin and cheek and surrounded the one visible eye; the other was concealed behind the long, sweeping bangs. If the woman's eyes were gemlike, then this creature's eyes were true gems, glittering as they continually swept the crowds. Where the light touched, his skin, hair and eyes sparkled; where the light was not, there was the faintest gleam, as though he were partially translucent, and beyond that darkness.
The gemlike being stayed close to the delicate woman's side as she made her way through the crowds. While she smiled and nodded to everyone as she passed, he remained silent and expressionless.
The four paid for two double-bed suites and three hearty meals; the coinage was not regular gold, but thin disks of crystal that the gem-man gave the lady and she in turn handed to the young woman, who did some quick mental calculation before paying the innkeeper an amount and returning the rest to the lady, who in turn gave them back to the gem-man. The innkeeper did not question this odd exchange; it was clear that the lady and her guardian (as the gem-man plainly was) were not local, and apparently the young woman – a merchant, perhaps, with her wealthy garb and obvious mathematical skill – was their guide, or perhaps a friend showing them the country.
"Wow!" the old man said with real enthusiasm as they sat at the table. "This is real class! I mean, look at all of the food they're offering! I wanna try it all!"
"Yes, Grandpa, we know," the young woman giggled. "But try not to eat too much, please? I mean, it's so embarrassing, Grandpa!"
"No, please, Gary-san," the white-cloaked lady said, "and you as well, friend Amy. Eat all you like, we have more than enough to pay and it has been a long day."
"But Rinaa," the newly identified Amy said, sounding shocked, "you know how much Grandpa Gary eats! And don't forget, we'll still need the regular midnight meal before bed, so we really shouldn't strain the kitchen. I know how much things like that cost, and how much work it is!"
"Bless you, miss!" came an anonymous shout from the kitchen. Amy looked startled, then she and Grandpa Gary burst out laughing, and even the ethereal Rinaa chuckled merrily, although her guardian did not react.
Eventually, Gary and Amy managed to order heaping meals of good, solid food. Rinaa also ordered, though slightly less. When the maid nervously turned to the still unnamed gem-man, however, Rinaa shook her head. "There is no need," she assured the maid, "my companion does not eat."
"Oh… alright then…" the maid said nervously. "Uhm… if it's not rude, what is he?"
Rinaa seemed slightly uncomfortable. "He is my guardian," she answered.
"No, I mean, what is he? I've never seen anything like him!"
"This one is known as a carytid-animus," the gem-being said. In stark contrast to his hard outer appearance, his voice was soft, almost like velvet.
"Oh!" The girl jumped, then, blushing, sketched an impromptu bow toward him. "S-sorry, sir, I didn't mean, to, um, well, insult you or speak over you or anything…"
"That's alright, miss," Amy said quickly. "He doesn't mind."
The food arrived, and the group ate. Anyone staring at them was quickly discouraged when they met the carytid's hard blue gaze – and so no one noticed that ethereal Rinaa ate quite enthusiastically, and in fact most of Amy's meal went to her. Finally, however, they slowed, then stopped.
"That was wonderful," Rinaa said quietly. "And now…"
She rose, but staggered slightly. Immediately the gem-man steadied her. "Thank you, Zeru," Rinaa said with the faintest of smiles. "I must be more tired than I thought. I believe that we shall retire now, Gary-san, Amy-san. Thank you for the meal." The two disappeared up the stairs.
Amy sighed gustily and signaled for a waitress to take the dishes away. "She's right, Grandpa. It's bedtime."
"Really? Why?" Grandpa Gary blinked at her.
Amy shook her head and smiled at the commiserating looks the other customers were giving her. "Come along, Grandpa." She turned to the cook. "We will need a hearty meal sent up to our rooms soon," she informed the startled staff. "Grandpa's system has trouble making anything useful out of his first evening meal, and I'm a growing lady, you know!" She laughed and waved as she and her grandfather also disappeared upstairs.
"FOOD!" 'Rinaa' tore into the meal with the ferocity of a starving man.
'Zeru' sweatdropped from the side as 'Gary' and 'Rinaa' got into a tug-of-war over a piece of chicken. Taking a bite out of the modest portion he had commandeered, the man asked, "Do either of you ever stop?"
'Rinaa' wrested the chicken away and chomped on it, blinking at her guardian. "Come on, Zel! It's tradition!" She swallowed and looked a little closer. "By the way, remind me to enhance that gem-shine spell. It's starting to wear off."
Zelgadis made a face. "I think I can manage, Lina."
'Amy' – Amelia – sighed. "Well, at least our disguises work."
Amazingly enough, it had been Zelgadis and Amelia who had really cooked up the entire gear and backstory. Officially, 'Amy Brighton' and 'Gary Brighton' were merchants traveling the world in search of new goods and specialties to sell. 'Inazuma Rinaa' was the heir to a wealthy noble in an exotic land who had befriended Amy and gained permission to travel with her in the interests of learning more about the world beyond her country's borders. 'Zeru' was a magical being summoned to protect Rinaa.
The disguises had been remarkably easy to handle. Lina and Zelgadis both had long ago learned the art of maintaining an extra-dimensional storage space to cut down on weight, and both had a habit of picking up useful items and tucking them away within that space just in case. At the moment, they were keeping what normal gear they hadn't incorporated into their disguises in there. There hadn't been all that much. Zelgadis's white clothing, combined with Amelia's belt and tunic, some of Lina's gear, and creative application, had turned into an exotic outfit perfect for the mysterious Rinaa that still would in no way impede Lina's movements if the disguises didn't work. Amelia and Gourry really hadn't needed to change all that much, beyond getting rid of their more distinctive armor and baubles and – in Amelia's case – donning Lina's magenta tunic to give them a well-off look.
Zelgadis had been the most problematic to disguise due to his rather distinctive appearance and inconvenient size (he was too small for Gourry's clothes, and a little too big for Amelia's or Lina's). Fortunately, he could still wear his normal boots, and Lina's dramatic shoulder guards fit him with only a little adjusting, but they had been forced to make do for the rest of his clothing. Lina's cloak was the only other bit of regular gear besides Gourry's sword that they had been able to fit. Afterwards, there was also the question of his face.
It had been Amelia who had come up with the suggestion that they use one of Lina's treasure-enhancement spells on Zelgadis's stone skin. Lina and Zelgadis had been understandably uneasy about that one, not knowing what the spell would do to something that was essentially living stone, but had agreed that it was worth a try. The effects had been visually quite pleasing, giving Zelgadis's stone skin a crystalline look and making the stone clusters take on a molten-silver appearance. The success of that experiment had prompted Gourry, of all people, to make the comment that they might want to consider doing the same thing to some of Lina's cheap gemstones in order to approximate exotic currency. Surprisingly, Lina agreed with barely a fuss. Zelgadis suspected that the reason she wasn't complaining about the loss – paying with gold would doubtless have been cheaper – was because she was simply lapping up this chance to play 'mysterious maiden' to the hilt.
After the alteration of Zelgadis's appearance, Lina and Amelia had consulted each other and agreed that some slight changes would not be amiss in any of them. Gourry had gained about forty or fifty years of age – enabling them to claim senility for any stupid comments that he might make – although the girls had refused to do anything about his hair, claiming that it was actually in-character for an old 'Grandpa' like Gary to dye his hair in an attempt to hold onto fading youth. Amelia had insisted that Lina dye her scarlet hair as well. The end result resembled the band sought by the bounty hunters and bandits only superficially at best.
And although none of them were admitting it, they were having the time of their lives indulging in this little roleplay.
"Well, there's only one more town before Mane," Amelia said after touch-ups to disguises had been finished and the dishes had been retrieved. She was a little nervous.
"High time," Lina grumbled. "This has to be one of the longest trips we've ever taken, if only because of the annoyance factor."
"But Lina, this is fun!" Gourry said brightly.
"Well… okay, you have a point," the sorceress admitted. She turned to look at Zelgadis. "Say, I've been wondering. What's a carytid-animus, and what was with all that 'this one' talk?"
Zelgadis shrugged. "I assumed that a magical bodyguard would probably be fairly humble, and it made us sound a little more exotic," he replied. Then a faint, wry smile tweaked his lips. "As for the carytid thing, a carytid is actually an architectural piece; it's a support column designed to look like a person. I've run across stories of carytid golems, I just played around with words until I found something that wouldn't immediately make it obvious that I was making the whole thing up."
"Carytid golems? Wouldn't whatever they were holding fall down if they moved?" Lina asked. She shrugged. "Oh well, who knows. The funniest thing about all this is that we'll probably end up starting legends about the mythical country we're from!"
"Perhaps that's why so many legends don't end up being true," Amelia said thoughtfully.
"Huh? You think that other people go around hiding this way?" Gourry asked. "Why haven't we met any of them?"
Lina bonked him on the head. "Because it was a long time ago that they did it! That's why they're legends!"
"But aren't you always going after legends? Why would you do that if they aren't true?"
"Because they might be, Gourry! That's the point! I'll never know if I don't try and find out!"
"Ummm… okay," Gourry said, shrugging.
Lina put her head in her hands and sighed gustily in frustration. "Why do I even bother?"
Because the Mistress of the Keyboard needs Gourry as a deus ex machina for explanations! ^_^
"Xellos…"
Allow me, Lina. Xellos, go watch Barney.
Urk… @.@"Miss Lina, it isn't his fault that Mr. Gourry doesn't remember things!"
"Shush it, 'Amy.' "
"Minna, be quiet," Zelgadis said suddenly, as a commotion on the street below caught his attention. He closed his eyes and tried to make out what they were saying.
"…'m tellin' ya, that's gotta be 'em!"
"No way! Ain't no chance that she's Lina Inverse! What's gotten into your head?"
'Besides a brain?' Zelgadis thought sarcastically.
"How many sorceresses are gonna be comin' through here, man? And look, she's got three buddies, just like the reward poster said…"
There was a smack of fist on flesh and a yell of pain. "Shut up!" the other man commanded. "They ain't lookin' like any of that bunch, and th' only magic thing about them is that black whatchacallit. First off, do ya wanna face that thing? Second, if ya're right ain't no way we're takin' 'em on anyway. An' third, do ya wanna go up to the Kaddars an' tell 'em 'Oh, this here lady was just passin' through and didn't do nothin' magic-ish but we thought we'd send 'er ta ya anyway?' "
Voice II sounded unhappy. "…hell no," he admitted.
"Right. Now lets get outta here. Don't want no crystal demon hearin' me…"
Zelgadis returned his attention to inside, where Lina was waiting with very poorly hidden impatience. "Lina, have you ever heard of a group called the Kaddars?"
Lina blinked. "Actually, that does ring a bell… I have no idea why, though."
"Whoever they are, I think that they are the ones who put that bounty on you."
Lina grinned evilly. "Well then, they won't be a problem for much longer…"
"YES!" Amelia cried, appearing standing on the back of a chair as if by magic. "For JUSTICE and TRUTH we shall STRIKE our enemies down…!"
It is a little known (not) fact, but a chair's center of balance is not in the back, but rather in the seat. Indeed, most chairs are already slightly back-heavy due to the fact that most humans are more comfortable leaning backward slightly when they sit. Thus, when a sudden weight appears on this already slightly unbalanced area, the results are… sadly predictable to those with a stronger understanding of physics.
CRASH!
Zelgadis, Lina and Gourry all blinked. Twice. Then blinked again, just for good measure.
"L-sama." Lina closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, praying that the pressure developing in her temples wouldn't develop into a full-blown headache. "Amelia, even you should know better than to try a stunt like that…"
"And WHAT was with ALL the CAPITAL LETTERS?" Gourry asked curiously.
"Nevermind," Amelia said in a small voice from somewhere under the clutter of limbs both wooden and human. "Just practicing a new Speechification technique, don't mind me."
"What's the point of… nevermind. You're right. I won't mind you. Go to bed, everyone."
Everyone was slightly out of sorts as they set off that morning. They had been forced to have Amelia and Gourry in one room and Lina and Zelgadis in the other to keep from blowing their cover. Amelia reported that Gourry snored loudly enough to wake the dead due to the food and a minor head cold, and Amelia herself had ended up sleep-speeching and constantly falling out of bed as she attempted to strike poses. Zelgadis, who had wisely decided to sleep in the hallway outside rather than risk setting Lina off, reported that there had been at least ten burglary attempts overnight, including one attempt to steal him. Needless to say, he was short on sleep and more than a bit put out. Lina herself had not encountered too much trouble sleeping, except for the occasional noise through the wall whenever Amelia fell particularly loudly or when Zelgadis punted another would-be thief or kidnapper down the stairs.
But Lina was grumpy, too. After all, everyone else was, and she certainly didn't want to be left behind!
As lunchtime rolled around, however, everyone's spirits rose. The air was clean, the birds were singing and there wasn't the slightest sign of bandits around. In fact, Lina was getting very bored and a little nervous. The Great Cosmic Law of Foreshadowing suggested that if things were going this well now, that was because they were going to become much, much worse.
Lina used her treasured fishing spell to catch a meal for them, while Amelia worried about the effect on the river's ichthyoid population and the economic imbalance that a hungry Lina would cause. That didn't stop the princess from happily chowing down when the fish were cooked, however.
If things were this pleasant now, Lina just knew they were going to get worse in the near future.
"You already said that!!"
Sorry, Lina, but I do get to indulge in a little stylistic foreshadowing. Seriously, I haven't done THAT much…
"Xellos did."
You called? ^_^
in unison /Shrivel and die, Xellos.\ punt