Memories on Still
-----------------
By: Buffy Ann Summers
Summary: She wasn't in charge of her life. She was judged without knowing.
She fell in love. And lost. She's been given a new life. With a new slayer
ruling her life. What is Buffy going to do now? B/S.... R/R!!! Please!!
A/N; *sigh* Anyone in high school have weightlifting class? WELL, I DO! and
being sick and trying to lift what.. 100 lbs with you legs is not goood!
well, anyways. Here's chap. 4! I know Buffi will be happy to know that it's
up! have fun and please I am encouraging you to R/R!!!
ACKNOWLEGEMENTS: UM... yea to me!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
His future self caught up. And he was what he was before he had ever
seen the girl with the silk strands. She questioned him about what he had
been doing for the last couple of hours before dawn.
"Around, pet" he stated leaving before Willow could have said
anything to make him stay. It wasn't right. The nagging feeling he had in his
gut. It told him something was wrong and yet, the thing the humans called
conscience wasn't even close to what he was being told of. Words about loss
and disobedience twined like air and wind. He couldn't touch it. Whatever it
was. Nevertheless the slayer was still behind him. He knew around her the air
spoke of his death if he hadn't cooperated. But he did. He let her live -for
now. But even walking away from her made her even more brassed off he knew it
was for the best. Much less he was in big trouble as it is. "just fuckin'
sodd of" he snapped. His temperature and rage rose faster than anything on
two legs could acomplish, regardless to the fact that even in the pace he was
in he could beat anything that walked, crawled, or even flew -his anger rose
even higher. But in his present state he wasn't in the mood to die by the
likes of her. After all, he was the big bad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Funny when you stop and think
times goes faster then you blink
nothings ever like it was
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Willow stopped the game of playing hide and stake. Killing William
the bloody would have to come another day, even if ignoring the fact that his
sorry butt still lingured in the castle, she shown great restraints -and
should someday be noticed for that. Someday. And besides, she had other
things to attend to. And those things were quite more important than chasing
Spike up a tree. Buffy was part of them. The new girl that arrived earlier
this -whatever date she arrived on. Willow paused. As a matter of fact, as
Willow began to think about it no one knew she would be arriving. She just
appeared. Poof, out of nowhere. She winced in pain as she felt a large ache
in her brain. It punctured the hell out of her, and Willow kept her hands at
her head grasping until the pain disappeared. Unusual. She again continued
the pace she started before she stopped. Gone was the feeling she felt.
How funny was that? Discomfort was like nothing to her, but all of a sudden
the lacking discomfort she was feeling was too much for her to handle.
Poking, puncturing, pushing, nudging, thrusting. Too much. She fell to her
knees in pain. And like before, vanished in a few secounds. Willow sighed.
Training was maybe getting to her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
but girl we've got a special thing
all the happiness it brings
is more than enough
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy slumped into the chair that was quite far away from her.
Absurd, he was playing the game she did years ago. The game she wrote the
book on. Every rule to exception. Hers, now passed to him. What the hell was
that suppose to mean? She scoffed. Spike playing the 'Buffy Game'. She ran
her hand through her hair. This hair. This hair he love touching so much.
This hair he loved so much. Well, damned the hair. She rustled through the
counter where she had seen Giles had been earlier. Scissors. She held them
in her fingers and let it slide against her blonde strands that hung loosly
on her head. Strands that begged her to think it twice about reliving them
of the roots. And besides, they were just hair. They would soon grow to the
full extent that she had now. Nevertheless what were two years to her or
more? The scissor's blade uttered it's condolences and in one swift movement
stabbed them. Listlessly, they fell to the floor which held their burial
grounds.
Buffy sighed. She had done the same thing long ago. Bitter sweet
memories on the tip of her tongue piled up. Coming when least expected.
Lethel to the head than it is to the eyes. She let them go and the scissors
came crashing on to the floor. Bitter damned memories. Haunting and screaming
they called to her. Something else. Something beyond the boundaries that held
her up. Boundaries way beyond the likes of punishment, death, and the so
called forces. In hooded clads that touched the floor, in moans that rang in
through her ear, in sight so gruesome, and in touch so numb. They called to
her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know its hard to believe
your still the biggest part of me
all I'm living for
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike paused. He was far from society. He was far from her. The girl
with the sun in her hair, and the moon in her skin. She was diffrent. He
lessened his pace. No one would find him now. He scoffed. The girl was a
witch. Playing his mind with magics and heebie jeebies. No more no less.
Everyone wanted a piece of William just like the way the gypsies were after
angel. Where was the old bloke' anyway? Spike rolled his eyes. Out shagging
with lady love, he thought. He tried his best to divert his attentions from
the girl he had met. She made him act a fool. Like a fellow in love.
Ludacris, what did that wanker take him for? -human? Posh. Soddin' witch
would have never done anything to him anyways. Again he paused for a moment,
then why was the crazy bird still alive? he cursed, silently. Suddenly,
movement had caught his eyes. Prey was here. More like -food with legs. He
chuckled and followed the girl with brown hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
and need you by my side
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Willow twisted and turned from her bed. Something was wrong. And
judging by the cold sweat that trickkled down her forehead, this was serious.
[Xander: "I'm exhausted just looking at those two. All this splashing and
jumping and running... shouldn't relaxing involve less exertion?"
Anya: "Absolutely. Exertion can lead to sweatiness."
Tara: "Which can cause the pain and heartbreak of stinkiness. Better to just
stay put."
Willow: "I think we've just put our finger on why we're the sidekicks."]
She flopped and wondered who the people around her where. The boy and
the other two girls -she had never known them before. Nevertheless, she had
never been to a beach before. She felt the wind waft against her face. So
this was a beach, she thought. Giles had never brought her to one, so this
must be a dream. But it felt real. Sitting in the sand, and all. She then
gasped at one of the figures that approached her.
"Game over?" she heard herself say, looking at the male figure then
to -Buffy.
"Buffy slayed the football." came his reply, she stared at her all
happy. This had to be a dream. She then watched as the dream progressed.
[Willow: "Ignis incende."
Buffy: "Willow, check you out. Witch-fu."
Willow: "It's no big. You just have to balance the elements, so when you
affect one, you don't wind up causing... (rain starts) I didn't do it, I
didn't do it!!]
With a loud crash of thrunder, she awoke.
"I didn't do it!" she gasped as Giles came rushing into her room
mumbling about what was wrong. Willow's body shook harder than any other
times she had been afraid. In the dream she was a witch. She wasn't the
slayer. Witch, the wind howled. Willow shut her eyes and hugged her knees.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm still mad about you
all I ever wanted was you
your still the one
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She stared at the rain that stuck the window pane. They were like
music to her tortured soul. She wanted to be home. She wanted life to exactly
be the way it was. No surprises included. The water that blurred the windows
from clear view, bothered her from the image she saw standing outside. She
began to gaze at it and the lost into the abyss of daydreams.
[Spike: I was gonna go inside, but I overheard you and the Super-friends
exchanging a special moment and I came over a bit queasy.
Say, aren't you leaving a hole in the middle of some soggy group hug?
Buffy: Just wanted a little time alone.
Spike: Oh, uh, right then. (he leaves as Buffy rplies)
Buffy: That's okay. I can be alone with you here. (he stops walking)
Spike: Thanks ever so.
Buffy: Right.
Spike: Buff? ... Slayer? Are you okay?
Buffy: I'm here. I'm good.
Spike: Buffy, if you're in ... if you're in pain ... or if you need
anything... or if I can do anything for you...
Buffy: You can't.
Spike: Well, I haven't been to a hell dimension just of late, but I do know
a thing or two about torment.
Buffy: I was happy. Wherever I ... was ... I
was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I
knew it. Time ... didn't mean anything ... nothing had form ... but I was
still me, you know? And I was warm ... and I was loved ... and I was
finished. Complete. I don't understand about theology or dimensions,
or ... any of it, really ... but I think I was in heaven. And now I'm not. I
was torn out of there. Pulled out ... by my friends. Everything here is ...
hard, and bright, and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch ... this
is Hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that ...
knowing what I've lost...]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's hard to breathe when were apart
your like sunshine in my heart
I keep you here inside
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He stood outside with the rain beating down on him. He didn't know
what he was doing. He didn't know why he was there . He didn't know
what exactly brought him there either. All he knew, it was her. The girl
that sat in front of the window this very moment and still wouldn't know who
is that person standing outside in the rain. The girl who pulled back with a
grin on her face and her hair just now above her shoulders. He stared at her.
His eyes telling her that he was there. This was him. This was his package.
This was all he had. Blue eyes that told her this time he wouldn't make a
mistake. Blue eyes that told her he would be there. Blue eyes that begged for
forgiveness.
[BUFFY: Stop trying to see me. And stop calling me that.
SPIKE: So, um ... what should I call you then? Pet?
SPIKE: Sweetheart? My, uh ... little goldilocks?
SPIKE: You know I love this hair. The way it bounces around when you-]
The rain poured even harder than before and Buffy didn't wether to
go out or stay in. Her mind fought a battle. She decided. And decided. Then
realized what there was to lose. Nothing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
you've been everything to me
you've been and always will be
the apple of my eye
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Willow sat up straight. She focused on Giles that sat on the foot of
her bed. She was frightened. Giles spoke and she had a hard time listening
to him.
[Willow: "There Buffy is, middle of the night, and she finds this whole nest
of vamps. And then she just goes 'Presto!'"
Tara: "Only it won't be 'Presto', exactly."
Willow: "And voomph! There's a floating ball of sunlight. Vamps get dusty."
Tara: "You don't want to look right at it, though."]
She smiled. It seemed funny to her. But, the dark blonde had caught
her eye. Plain. Simple. And Pretty. Were three discriptions that fitted her.
And that smile. The wispy smile, -it caught her.
"Willow are you listening to me?" he called out to her, she snapped
out of the daze.
She nodded "Yea.."
"Oh well," he sighed "maybe your dream isn't the end of the world
kind .." he got up and smiled at the redhead "now get to sleep and have your
rest, you'll need it for tomorrow.."
She gave a questioned look "huh? what happens tomorrow, Giles?"
"I'll kill you...."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I know its hard to believe
your still the biggest part of me
all I'm living for
I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
and need you by my side
I still mad about you
all i ever wanted was you
your still the one
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rain made her clothes damp as she stood outside. She didn't move
but stood there absorbing the moment.
"What are you doing back?" she asked, he was soaked to but the look
on Spike's face told her that being wet, outside was the less on his mind.
"I don't know,luv" he breathed "you tell me.."
She shurgged "I dunno know .. the door was unlocked"
He smiled "Yea, I noticed .. Your lil' watcher people should have
that checked, someone dangerous might have gotten in"
"Sing me a new one, Spike"
"Well, I'm doing the best I can -Betsy"
He had a grin on his face.
"It's Buffy, you big ..bleached ..headed bully" she teased, he had
walk an incredible amount of distance and was now face to face with her.
"What can I say I've always been bad..."
In a swift moment his lips caught hers. It rained even harder as
lightning struck the sky. All of a sudden everything froze.
"I got to hand it to yah, kid" came a voice "you just love to get on
the bad side..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
TBC..........
-----------------
By: Buffy Ann Summers
Summary: She wasn't in charge of her life. She was judged without knowing.
She fell in love. And lost. She's been given a new life. With a new slayer
ruling her life. What is Buffy going to do now? B/S.... R/R!!! Please!!
A/N; *sigh* Anyone in high school have weightlifting class? WELL, I DO! and
being sick and trying to lift what.. 100 lbs with you legs is not goood!
well, anyways. Here's chap. 4! I know Buffi will be happy to know that it's
up! have fun and please I am encouraging you to R/R!!!
ACKNOWLEGEMENTS: UM... yea to me!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
His future self caught up. And he was what he was before he had ever
seen the girl with the silk strands. She questioned him about what he had
been doing for the last couple of hours before dawn.
"Around, pet" he stated leaving before Willow could have said
anything to make him stay. It wasn't right. The nagging feeling he had in his
gut. It told him something was wrong and yet, the thing the humans called
conscience wasn't even close to what he was being told of. Words about loss
and disobedience twined like air and wind. He couldn't touch it. Whatever it
was. Nevertheless the slayer was still behind him. He knew around her the air
spoke of his death if he hadn't cooperated. But he did. He let her live -for
now. But even walking away from her made her even more brassed off he knew it
was for the best. Much less he was in big trouble as it is. "just fuckin'
sodd of" he snapped. His temperature and rage rose faster than anything on
two legs could acomplish, regardless to the fact that even in the pace he was
in he could beat anything that walked, crawled, or even flew -his anger rose
even higher. But in his present state he wasn't in the mood to die by the
likes of her. After all, he was the big bad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Funny when you stop and think
times goes faster then you blink
nothings ever like it was
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Willow stopped the game of playing hide and stake. Killing William
the bloody would have to come another day, even if ignoring the fact that his
sorry butt still lingured in the castle, she shown great restraints -and
should someday be noticed for that. Someday. And besides, she had other
things to attend to. And those things were quite more important than chasing
Spike up a tree. Buffy was part of them. The new girl that arrived earlier
this -whatever date she arrived on. Willow paused. As a matter of fact, as
Willow began to think about it no one knew she would be arriving. She just
appeared. Poof, out of nowhere. She winced in pain as she felt a large ache
in her brain. It punctured the hell out of her, and Willow kept her hands at
her head grasping until the pain disappeared. Unusual. She again continued
the pace she started before she stopped. Gone was the feeling she felt.
How funny was that? Discomfort was like nothing to her, but all of a sudden
the lacking discomfort she was feeling was too much for her to handle.
Poking, puncturing, pushing, nudging, thrusting. Too much. She fell to her
knees in pain. And like before, vanished in a few secounds. Willow sighed.
Training was maybe getting to her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
but girl we've got a special thing
all the happiness it brings
is more than enough
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy slumped into the chair that was quite far away from her.
Absurd, he was playing the game she did years ago. The game she wrote the
book on. Every rule to exception. Hers, now passed to him. What the hell was
that suppose to mean? She scoffed. Spike playing the 'Buffy Game'. She ran
her hand through her hair. This hair. This hair he love touching so much.
This hair he loved so much. Well, damned the hair. She rustled through the
counter where she had seen Giles had been earlier. Scissors. She held them
in her fingers and let it slide against her blonde strands that hung loosly
on her head. Strands that begged her to think it twice about reliving them
of the roots. And besides, they were just hair. They would soon grow to the
full extent that she had now. Nevertheless what were two years to her or
more? The scissor's blade uttered it's condolences and in one swift movement
stabbed them. Listlessly, they fell to the floor which held their burial
grounds.
Buffy sighed. She had done the same thing long ago. Bitter sweet
memories on the tip of her tongue piled up. Coming when least expected.
Lethel to the head than it is to the eyes. She let them go and the scissors
came crashing on to the floor. Bitter damned memories. Haunting and screaming
they called to her. Something else. Something beyond the boundaries that held
her up. Boundaries way beyond the likes of punishment, death, and the so
called forces. In hooded clads that touched the floor, in moans that rang in
through her ear, in sight so gruesome, and in touch so numb. They called to
her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know its hard to believe
your still the biggest part of me
all I'm living for
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike paused. He was far from society. He was far from her. The girl
with the sun in her hair, and the moon in her skin. She was diffrent. He
lessened his pace. No one would find him now. He scoffed. The girl was a
witch. Playing his mind with magics and heebie jeebies. No more no less.
Everyone wanted a piece of William just like the way the gypsies were after
angel. Where was the old bloke' anyway? Spike rolled his eyes. Out shagging
with lady love, he thought. He tried his best to divert his attentions from
the girl he had met. She made him act a fool. Like a fellow in love.
Ludacris, what did that wanker take him for? -human? Posh. Soddin' witch
would have never done anything to him anyways. Again he paused for a moment,
then why was the crazy bird still alive? he cursed, silently. Suddenly,
movement had caught his eyes. Prey was here. More like -food with legs. He
chuckled and followed the girl with brown hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
and need you by my side
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Willow twisted and turned from her bed. Something was wrong. And
judging by the cold sweat that trickkled down her forehead, this was serious.
[Xander: "I'm exhausted just looking at those two. All this splashing and
jumping and running... shouldn't relaxing involve less exertion?"
Anya: "Absolutely. Exertion can lead to sweatiness."
Tara: "Which can cause the pain and heartbreak of stinkiness. Better to just
stay put."
Willow: "I think we've just put our finger on why we're the sidekicks."]
She flopped and wondered who the people around her where. The boy and
the other two girls -she had never known them before. Nevertheless, she had
never been to a beach before. She felt the wind waft against her face. So
this was a beach, she thought. Giles had never brought her to one, so this
must be a dream. But it felt real. Sitting in the sand, and all. She then
gasped at one of the figures that approached her.
"Game over?" she heard herself say, looking at the male figure then
to -Buffy.
"Buffy slayed the football." came his reply, she stared at her all
happy. This had to be a dream. She then watched as the dream progressed.
[Willow: "Ignis incende."
Buffy: "Willow, check you out. Witch-fu."
Willow: "It's no big. You just have to balance the elements, so when you
affect one, you don't wind up causing... (rain starts) I didn't do it, I
didn't do it!!]
With a loud crash of thrunder, she awoke.
"I didn't do it!" she gasped as Giles came rushing into her room
mumbling about what was wrong. Willow's body shook harder than any other
times she had been afraid. In the dream she was a witch. She wasn't the
slayer. Witch, the wind howled. Willow shut her eyes and hugged her knees.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm still mad about you
all I ever wanted was you
your still the one
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She stared at the rain that stuck the window pane. They were like
music to her tortured soul. She wanted to be home. She wanted life to exactly
be the way it was. No surprises included. The water that blurred the windows
from clear view, bothered her from the image she saw standing outside. She
began to gaze at it and the lost into the abyss of daydreams.
[Spike: I was gonna go inside, but I overheard you and the Super-friends
exchanging a special moment and I came over a bit queasy.
Say, aren't you leaving a hole in the middle of some soggy group hug?
Buffy: Just wanted a little time alone.
Spike: Oh, uh, right then. (he leaves as Buffy rplies)
Buffy: That's okay. I can be alone with you here. (he stops walking)
Spike: Thanks ever so.
Buffy: Right.
Spike: Buff? ... Slayer? Are you okay?
Buffy: I'm here. I'm good.
Spike: Buffy, if you're in ... if you're in pain ... or if you need
anything... or if I can do anything for you...
Buffy: You can't.
Spike: Well, I haven't been to a hell dimension just of late, but I do know
a thing or two about torment.
Buffy: I was happy. Wherever I ... was ... I
was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I
knew it. Time ... didn't mean anything ... nothing had form ... but I was
still me, you know? And I was warm ... and I was loved ... and I was
finished. Complete. I don't understand about theology or dimensions,
or ... any of it, really ... but I think I was in heaven. And now I'm not. I
was torn out of there. Pulled out ... by my friends. Everything here is ...
hard, and bright, and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch ... this
is Hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that ...
knowing what I've lost...]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's hard to breathe when were apart
your like sunshine in my heart
I keep you here inside
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He stood outside with the rain beating down on him. He didn't know
what he was doing. He didn't know why he was there . He didn't know
what exactly brought him there either. All he knew, it was her. The girl
that sat in front of the window this very moment and still wouldn't know who
is that person standing outside in the rain. The girl who pulled back with a
grin on her face and her hair just now above her shoulders. He stared at her.
His eyes telling her that he was there. This was him. This was his package.
This was all he had. Blue eyes that told her this time he wouldn't make a
mistake. Blue eyes that told her he would be there. Blue eyes that begged for
forgiveness.
[BUFFY: Stop trying to see me. And stop calling me that.
SPIKE: So, um ... what should I call you then? Pet?
SPIKE: Sweetheart? My, uh ... little goldilocks?
SPIKE: You know I love this hair. The way it bounces around when you-]
The rain poured even harder than before and Buffy didn't wether to
go out or stay in. Her mind fought a battle. She decided. And decided. Then
realized what there was to lose. Nothing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
you've been everything to me
you've been and always will be
the apple of my eye
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Willow sat up straight. She focused on Giles that sat on the foot of
her bed. She was frightened. Giles spoke and she had a hard time listening
to him.
[Willow: "There Buffy is, middle of the night, and she finds this whole nest
of vamps. And then she just goes 'Presto!'"
Tara: "Only it won't be 'Presto', exactly."
Willow: "And voomph! There's a floating ball of sunlight. Vamps get dusty."
Tara: "You don't want to look right at it, though."]
She smiled. It seemed funny to her. But, the dark blonde had caught
her eye. Plain. Simple. And Pretty. Were three discriptions that fitted her.
And that smile. The wispy smile, -it caught her.
"Willow are you listening to me?" he called out to her, she snapped
out of the daze.
She nodded "Yea.."
"Oh well," he sighed "maybe your dream isn't the end of the world
kind .." he got up and smiled at the redhead "now get to sleep and have your
rest, you'll need it for tomorrow.."
She gave a questioned look "huh? what happens tomorrow, Giles?"
"I'll kill you...."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I know its hard to believe
your still the biggest part of me
all I'm living for
I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
and need you by my side
I still mad about you
all i ever wanted was you
your still the one
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rain made her clothes damp as she stood outside. She didn't move
but stood there absorbing the moment.
"What are you doing back?" she asked, he was soaked to but the look
on Spike's face told her that being wet, outside was the less on his mind.
"I don't know,luv" he breathed "you tell me.."
She shurgged "I dunno know .. the door was unlocked"
He smiled "Yea, I noticed .. Your lil' watcher people should have
that checked, someone dangerous might have gotten in"
"Sing me a new one, Spike"
"Well, I'm doing the best I can -Betsy"
He had a grin on his face.
"It's Buffy, you big ..bleached ..headed bully" she teased, he had
walk an incredible amount of distance and was now face to face with her.
"What can I say I've always been bad..."
In a swift moment his lips caught hers. It rained even harder as
lightning struck the sky. All of a sudden everything froze.
"I got to hand it to yah, kid" came a voice "you just love to get on
the bad side..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
TBC..........