Thirteen Years
Written by Acacia Dyre
Warning: Short, POV, probably crap.
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Star Wars and everything remotely related to it. I own nothing, except a fat cat.
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Time should not be the most important way in which we measure our lives. So many things can happen in a few short years, while for others perhaps nothing of any importance will happen in decades. We were only together for thirteen years. Together as student and teacher, as companions, and I had thought, perhaps taken for granted, as friends. I should have known better.
When I was young I looked to you for everything. You were my salvation in more than one way. So much more than just taking me from the Agri-Corp. I thought that you cared for me. My heart was never unsure of how I felt for you and as I grew it blossomed.
So many missions, too many to recount. I needed you and you depended upon me also. It gave me so much confidence when you looked to me for help, when I was allowed to voice an opinion also. It was as if I mattered. All of my hope of becoming a Jedi Knight was closer. The fears slowly disappearing.
Thirteen years at your side, in your care, being taught by you. Half of my life was with you. And it meant nothing to you. I meant nothing. I saw how enthusiastically you claimed the boy as your new Padawan, getting rid of me. And I remember how it was for me when I was chosen. The reluctance, the repeated rejection. The pain was distanced over the years, but it all was there still, held within me and I thought that the dam would break forth with it. It almost did right there before the Council.
Thirteen years and I finally found out that all of those fears and insecurities were correct after all. I was the pity case pushed upon you by your Master. It was an awfully long time not to see the truth. I guess that proves my unworthiness to be a Knight. Perhaps that is what you meant when you told me that I had much I still needed to learn.
The thirteen years were not in vain Master. I learned the lesson, finally.
Written by Acacia Dyre
Warning: Short, POV, probably crap.
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Star Wars and everything remotely related to it. I own nothing, except a fat cat.
+
Time should not be the most important way in which we measure our lives. So many things can happen in a few short years, while for others perhaps nothing of any importance will happen in decades. We were only together for thirteen years. Together as student and teacher, as companions, and I had thought, perhaps taken for granted, as friends. I should have known better.
When I was young I looked to you for everything. You were my salvation in more than one way. So much more than just taking me from the Agri-Corp. I thought that you cared for me. My heart was never unsure of how I felt for you and as I grew it blossomed.
So many missions, too many to recount. I needed you and you depended upon me also. It gave me so much confidence when you looked to me for help, when I was allowed to voice an opinion also. It was as if I mattered. All of my hope of becoming a Jedi Knight was closer. The fears slowly disappearing.
Thirteen years at your side, in your care, being taught by you. Half of my life was with you. And it meant nothing to you. I meant nothing. I saw how enthusiastically you claimed the boy as your new Padawan, getting rid of me. And I remember how it was for me when I was chosen. The reluctance, the repeated rejection. The pain was distanced over the years, but it all was there still, held within me and I thought that the dam would break forth with it. It almost did right there before the Council.
Thirteen years and I finally found out that all of those fears and insecurities were correct after all. I was the pity case pushed upon you by your Master. It was an awfully long time not to see the truth. I guess that proves my unworthiness to be a Knight. Perhaps that is what you meant when you told me that I had much I still needed to learn.
The thirteen years were not in vain Master. I learned the lesson, finally.