Disclaimer: Oh [expletive deleted] ! I forgot to credit Henry James in my last chapter! Henry is the author of such fines works as "The Portrait of a Lady," "The American," and "Wings of the Dove."

Author's Note: THANK YOU to all my reviewers! Especially Mercuria, who read my past story and reviewed like every chapter. You are so cool!

On a side note: hehehe, I have unlocked the mystery of centering text. All shall feel my power!

Elrond's Story

"I would be only too happy to tell you what happened," said Elrond, "It all started when we were walking to Bree. Aragorn said to us, 'I was thinking…'

to which Legolas replied, 'should I write that down?' Aragorn seemed rather confused by this, then he realized that Legolas was mocking his intelligence. Well, you know the man's temper…"

"I resent that, sir!" said Aragorn leaping up and punching Pippin in the process.

"As I was saying…" continued Elrond.

"My face!" said Pippin.

"Oh shut up," said Gandalf.

"EXCUSE ME!" said Elrond, "I AM the Lord of Rivendell. Pay attention! So anyway, Aragorn told Legolas that he would pay for that mockery of his intelligence and brandished his sword menacingly. Legolas simply laughed at him. I knew it was a mistake. I'm not saying Aragorn killed him, I'm simply saying that Aragorn…wait, actually, I am saying that Aragorn killed him. Without a doubt."

"Proof?" asked Gandalf.

"Well," thought Elrond, "there was a barfight, like Gimli said. On the stairs, I ran into Aragorn who looked anxious to join the fight. When we got there, Legolas and Gimli were already there, trying to calm things down. I remember Aragorn was very upset about not getting to kill anyone."

"This is entirely subjective!" said Aragorn, "I mean, come on, the man hates me!"

"That's because you suck," said Elrond, "but everything I'm saying is true. Legolas helped stop the fight, then everyone went to their rooms. I didn't. I asked the barkeeper if they had any wine for, you know, medicinal purposes."

"Oh, of course!" said Aragorn skeptically.

"I don't have an alcohol problem!" said Elrond defensively.

"What? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. You were too busy being wrong."

"May I continue my story?" asked Elrond. When no one objected he continued, "Thank you. I imbibed a bit of wine. I was going back up to my room at about 8:50, when I saw Aragorn in the hall. He and everyone else were all huddled around something. A dead body. It was a woman with long blonde hair. She had been stabbed through the back, but the blade was no longer there. It had been removed and stowed somewhere. We all figured, since her hair was so beautiful and long, she must have been a Mary Sue and we simply threw her out the nearest window. Then, I don't really remember much. I may have had a bit more to drink than was healthy. I seem to remember a long conversation with Gimli which ended in Legolas hitting me in the head. I don't think that will help much."

"No," said Gandalf, "you really haven't been much help to us. But it doesn't matter. Next, we will hear from the hobbits, who had never met Legolas before their journey here. Let us hear what they have to say about our departed friend…"

To Be Continued…

Next Chapter: The Hobbits' Story

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