Poor, Poor Snapey
A/N: Severus Snape accidentally goes to the past to the Marauders' time and then they're on a trip to the muggle world. Don't ask why, just read, otherwise you'll be cursed for life.
Snape cursed and screamed (like a girl) and kicked and jumped and oh, did I mention cursed? Anyways, that was just after the Griffindor class that he had to teach. He walked down the aisle, tripped, and then fell face flat right next to Neville's cauldron. When he stood up and looked in the potion that was supposed to take somebody back in time for 10 minutes, it was blue and bubbling instead of silver and frizzing.
"Strange..." he muttered in a girly voice.
But unknown to this idiot was that right after he gave Fred and George detention (for a month and a half for making his teeth glow in the dark...pink for two weeks), they went and cursed Neville's cauldron so it'll force feed him whatever's in there. But poor little Neville screwed up the potion (that didn't sound right, but anyways...) so that it took the person 20 YEARS (got that? Years) Back in time (poor Snapie).
So when Snape looked in the cauldron, he felt himself being forced to drink this potion that tasted too much like gym socks and rotten cheese, not that he ever tried them, or actually, not that he ever told anyone that he tried them... so anyways, he then felt somebody grab him and throw him into a portal of never ending torment that actually ended, but when he came out, he had bright pink skin with neon green polka dots and his hair was striped red and gold and then since it was so greasy, it also said, "GRIFFINDOR RULE, SLYTHERIN DROOL!" But then again, Snape didn't know that except for the robes.
When he stood up, he realized that students were watching him that he knew only from his childhood. "This has got to be a dream," he repeated over and over and over, which eventually turned out to sound like, "This has got to be whipped cream."
"WHAT? THAT LOOKS LIKE SNAPIE-POO!" screamed a black haired boy who looked very much like Harry Potter.
"Detention, Potter, scrubbing the girls' bathroom with a toothbrush," Snape said to the Harry look a like.
"What? Snapie-Poo can't give me detention!" the boy whined.
"Yeah! If he gets to have detention then so do we!" another black haired boy said, he somehow resembled the infamous criminal who wasn't really a criminal.
That's when Snape realized that he wasn't giving Harry Potter detention; he was actually giving James Potter, Sirius black, Lily Evans, Arabella Figg, and Remus Lupin detention.
"This has got to be whipped cream," Snape muttered over and over again until it turned into, "This has got to be pricked things," which actually didn't sound right, but Sirius having his hearing problems, heard, "I just pricked my thing."
He looked at the grown Snape and screamed, "YOU PRICKING YOUR THING IS TOTALLY 100% YOUR BUSSINESS, WE DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT!"
"What are you talking about, Sirius? He just said, `This has got to be my thing,'" Remus said holding a sausage that he was supposed to cut up for the potion.
"No way, Snapie-Poo just said, `I don't have a thing,'" James piped up.
Lily and Arabella looked at each other (they are the only ones who didn't have hearing problems) and shrugged, "maybe we should get rid of his thing for our next prank," Arabella whispered to Lily. She laughed and everybody stared at her like she was crazy.
Then suddenly, Mr. Black (who is Sirius's father) walked back into the room after leaving because Sirius made plants grow out of his father's nose (you know the ones that never stop growing and grow super fast?).
Snape apparently haven't seen the professor there and screamed at the top of his lungs, "I HAVE A THING, I DIDN'T PRICK IT, AND THAT SAUSAGE IS YOUR DADA'S THING!" at Sirius.
Mr. Black looked at Snape and said, "Whoever you are, I'm sure you have a thing, but I'm sure everyone knows that too, so if you don't have one, please leave and go to the nurse to see if she can do anything about it, and if you do, please leave also."
Snape turned on his heals and left but not after hearing Arabella say, "He has no thing..."
Snape turned around, went back into the room and said, "Well you don't either."
Arabella looked at him and said, "Of course I don't, and did you ever look in a mirror? Because you should learn to read and read what's on your hair."
*A/N: read and review please! Oh and in the next chapter, Snapie gets high...
Snape then decided to just go and see what on earth is on his hair so he ran blindly into the nearest bathroom there was, which was a girls' restroom. He saw the hair and ran back into the Slytherin's common room, but can't get in because the password was different. Then he remembered the portrait door, which was a picture of snake that was running around trying to bite his tail. He tried to ask the snake what the password was, but the snake was too occupied in trying to bite its tail. Snape then went to Dumbledore's office and Dumbledore got rid of the whole thing in his hair. Dumbledore told Snape to just stay with the little Snape and go wherever he goes.
At dinner Snape was late, so little Snape already finished dinner. Actually, everybody had finished except the Marauders plus Lily. They were desperately trying to calm her down because of her too high dose of caffeine. Lily had forced James to transfigure her pumpkin juice to coffee with waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much caffeine. James realized that Lily was too dangerous so he ran out of the great hall. Snape came in and desperately needed something to drink so he grabbed Lily's coffee that was the only thing left.
Well right before James ran from hell, he had made sure that the caffeine left in the coffee doesn't start working until 24 hours later, by that time, all the people in Muggle Studies will be in France doing a project.
Twenty-Four hours later...
Snape woke up from the long bus ride to their hotel near the Eiffel Tower. All of a sudden, he had a strange urge to sing a song. The bus stopped and the students all got out. Snape hollered at the top of his lungs, "Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir
Voulez vous coucher avec moi!" Everyone on the streets turned to stare at him. Snape just shrugged and grabbed his favorite stuffed teddy bear and gave him a kiss on the lips. (A/N: in France, the people don't kiss anyone or anything on the lips unless they're sexually involved.) All the French people there looked at him in disgust.
And then he goes the a group of girls and screams at the top of his lungs again, "Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir. Voulez vous coucher avec moi!"
The Marauders looked at each other and burst out laughing. The French girls ran away screaming. Then he grabbed Dumbledore and frenched him.
Dumbledore somehow got the caffeine craze and started singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie! All you other brothers can't deny, when a girl walks in the room with a itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face!" And then a horrified McGonagall shoots a spell at him to shut him up.
A/N: Severus Snape accidentally goes to the past to the Marauders' time and then they're on a trip to the muggle world. Don't ask why, just read, otherwise you'll be cursed for life.
Snape cursed and screamed (like a girl) and kicked and jumped and oh, did I mention cursed? Anyways, that was just after the Griffindor class that he had to teach. He walked down the aisle, tripped, and then fell face flat right next to Neville's cauldron. When he stood up and looked in the potion that was supposed to take somebody back in time for 10 minutes, it was blue and bubbling instead of silver and frizzing.
"Strange..." he muttered in a girly voice.
But unknown to this idiot was that right after he gave Fred and George detention (for a month and a half for making his teeth glow in the dark...pink for two weeks), they went and cursed Neville's cauldron so it'll force feed him whatever's in there. But poor little Neville screwed up the potion (that didn't sound right, but anyways...) so that it took the person 20 YEARS (got that? Years) Back in time (poor Snapie).
So when Snape looked in the cauldron, he felt himself being forced to drink this potion that tasted too much like gym socks and rotten cheese, not that he ever tried them, or actually, not that he ever told anyone that he tried them... so anyways, he then felt somebody grab him and throw him into a portal of never ending torment that actually ended, but when he came out, he had bright pink skin with neon green polka dots and his hair was striped red and gold and then since it was so greasy, it also said, "GRIFFINDOR RULE, SLYTHERIN DROOL!" But then again, Snape didn't know that except for the robes.
When he stood up, he realized that students were watching him that he knew only from his childhood. "This has got to be a dream," he repeated over and over and over, which eventually turned out to sound like, "This has got to be whipped cream."
"WHAT? THAT LOOKS LIKE SNAPIE-POO!" screamed a black haired boy who looked very much like Harry Potter.
"Detention, Potter, scrubbing the girls' bathroom with a toothbrush," Snape said to the Harry look a like.
"What? Snapie-Poo can't give me detention!" the boy whined.
"Yeah! If he gets to have detention then so do we!" another black haired boy said, he somehow resembled the infamous criminal who wasn't really a criminal.
That's when Snape realized that he wasn't giving Harry Potter detention; he was actually giving James Potter, Sirius black, Lily Evans, Arabella Figg, and Remus Lupin detention.
"This has got to be whipped cream," Snape muttered over and over again until it turned into, "This has got to be pricked things," which actually didn't sound right, but Sirius having his hearing problems, heard, "I just pricked my thing."
He looked at the grown Snape and screamed, "YOU PRICKING YOUR THING IS TOTALLY 100% YOUR BUSSINESS, WE DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT!"
"What are you talking about, Sirius? He just said, `This has got to be my thing,'" Remus said holding a sausage that he was supposed to cut up for the potion.
"No way, Snapie-Poo just said, `I don't have a thing,'" James piped up.
Lily and Arabella looked at each other (they are the only ones who didn't have hearing problems) and shrugged, "maybe we should get rid of his thing for our next prank," Arabella whispered to Lily. She laughed and everybody stared at her like she was crazy.
Then suddenly, Mr. Black (who is Sirius's father) walked back into the room after leaving because Sirius made plants grow out of his father's nose (you know the ones that never stop growing and grow super fast?).
Snape apparently haven't seen the professor there and screamed at the top of his lungs, "I HAVE A THING, I DIDN'T PRICK IT, AND THAT SAUSAGE IS YOUR DADA'S THING!" at Sirius.
Mr. Black looked at Snape and said, "Whoever you are, I'm sure you have a thing, but I'm sure everyone knows that too, so if you don't have one, please leave and go to the nurse to see if she can do anything about it, and if you do, please leave also."
Snape turned on his heals and left but not after hearing Arabella say, "He has no thing..."
Snape turned around, went back into the room and said, "Well you don't either."
Arabella looked at him and said, "Of course I don't, and did you ever look in a mirror? Because you should learn to read and read what's on your hair."
*A/N: read and review please! Oh and in the next chapter, Snapie gets high...
Snape then decided to just go and see what on earth is on his hair so he ran blindly into the nearest bathroom there was, which was a girls' restroom. He saw the hair and ran back into the Slytherin's common room, but can't get in because the password was different. Then he remembered the portrait door, which was a picture of snake that was running around trying to bite his tail. He tried to ask the snake what the password was, but the snake was too occupied in trying to bite its tail. Snape then went to Dumbledore's office and Dumbledore got rid of the whole thing in his hair. Dumbledore told Snape to just stay with the little Snape and go wherever he goes.
At dinner Snape was late, so little Snape already finished dinner. Actually, everybody had finished except the Marauders plus Lily. They were desperately trying to calm her down because of her too high dose of caffeine. Lily had forced James to transfigure her pumpkin juice to coffee with waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much caffeine. James realized that Lily was too dangerous so he ran out of the great hall. Snape came in and desperately needed something to drink so he grabbed Lily's coffee that was the only thing left.
Well right before James ran from hell, he had made sure that the caffeine left in the coffee doesn't start working until 24 hours later, by that time, all the people in Muggle Studies will be in France doing a project.
Twenty-Four hours later...
Snape woke up from the long bus ride to their hotel near the Eiffel Tower. All of a sudden, he had a strange urge to sing a song. The bus stopped and the students all got out. Snape hollered at the top of his lungs, "Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir
Voulez vous coucher avec moi!" Everyone on the streets turned to stare at him. Snape just shrugged and grabbed his favorite stuffed teddy bear and gave him a kiss on the lips. (A/N: in France, the people don't kiss anyone or anything on the lips unless they're sexually involved.) All the French people there looked at him in disgust.
And then he goes the a group of girls and screams at the top of his lungs again, "Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir. Voulez vous coucher avec moi!"
The Marauders looked at each other and burst out laughing. The French girls ran away screaming. Then he grabbed Dumbledore and frenched him.
Dumbledore somehow got the caffeine craze and started singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie! All you other brothers can't deny, when a girl walks in the room with a itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face!" And then a horrified McGonagall shoots a spell at him to shut him up.