When Seishirou opened the door and entered the apartment, he found Subaru sitting with his head on the table, eyes open and staring at nothing. Faido lay at his feet, curled up with her nose next to her tail, fast asleep.
He walked over and touched him on the shoulder gently. "Subaru-kun."
Subaru propped his head up with his hand and elbow, regarding Seishirou critically. "Shouldn't you be out there fighting?" he asked.
Seishirou shrugged, and sat down next to the onmyouji. "Your cousin and I decided we had more important things to do."
"Tsuru's okay, isn't he?" demanded Subaru, worry clearly audible beneath the harsh tone.
Seishirou nodded. "He was when I left." Now that he was here, that which had seemed perfectly logical and simple half an hour ago now seemed impossible. He had no idea where to even start.
"What if the world ends, Seishirou-san?" said Subaru, in a small voice.
He gazed at the younger man, silently.
"What if Kamui loses, and we're all gone? I don't want to die, Seishirou-san. Not like that."
"How do you want to die, then, Subaru-kun?" he asked, curious.
Subaru let out a shaky breath. "With you," he sighed. "In your arms. Like she did."
He'd suspected, of course. But somehow, hearing it like that... It hurt. It made him (his heart?) ache. "I'm sorry, Subaru-kun," he managed to say.
Subaru drew in a small breath. "What do you mean, Seishirou-san? What for?"
He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "For everything. Every way I hurt you. You didn't deserve any of that, not even if you were the Head of the Sumeragi clan. And... I'm sorry I can't let you die the way you want to."
"You won't kill me?" asked Subaru, very quietly.
Seishirou shook his head. "I can't."
"Why not?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. It's just, ever since you've been back, I've been feeling... strange things around you."
"I think... I think that would be because I marked you," said Subaru, sounding more confident now.
Seishirou blinked, as Subaru took his hand and turned it up so that the palm faced the ceiling.
"You're bound to two things now. It's logical that the one with the strongest will should have the strongest influence."
"And that's you?" he asked, surprised.
"It's not hard to have stronger will than a Tree, Seishirou-san."
Subaru removed his glove, gently putting his hand over Seishirou's, hovering about an inch above without touching. In his OtherSight, Seishirou saw the usually invisible symbols on his hand flare up in reaction to Subaru's presence. Subaru's were doing the same. Silver fire, in the shape of a pentagram.
The spark as Subaru's bare hand touched his for the first time was almost painful in its intensity.
"Subaru," he said, when the moment had passed. "What was that?"
"We're bound to each other, now."
"What?"
"If I die, you'll feel it. And vice versa. If one of us kills the other..." The killer, too, would die. He knew the way bindings worked, just as he knew the 'feel' that Subaru spoke of was to live through the dying agonies of the one you were bound to.
"But... what about your bet?" he asked, rubbing at his left palm with his right hand, and then swapping hands.
Subaru shrugged. "It's what I'd want. If I killed you, there would be nothing left to hope for." And Subaru couldn't live without hope, because that was the kind of person he was.
That hurt, too. He wanted to curse the onmyouji for giving him these emotions. He wanted to hate him for forcing this thing he had never wanted on him. But... he couldn't. Just as he knew Subaru could never bring himself to truly hate the Sakurazukamori, despite what he'd done. Nor from hoping that, one day, there would not be this gulf caused by pain and anger separating them.
Love was a powerful emotion, after all.
"Subaru," he said, after a while. "I don't want you to die."
The onmyouji blinked at him.
"I want you to live. I want you to be happy. With me, if that's possible."
"But, Seishirou-san, I thought you didn't love me?" he asked, coolly.
"I didn't know, then. And I wouldn't have accepted it if I did."
"And now?"
"Now..." He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "I think I might."
Subaru just stared at him for a long, long time. "You're lying!" he burst out eventually, jumping up and disturbing the puppy, who dashed for the kitchen with a slight yelp. "You can't be telling the truth! You can't! You can't..." He fell to his knees and broke down into tears. "You can't..."
Seishirou knelt beside him, stroking his hair gently. "I'm not lying, Subaru-kun." A few tears splashed onto the hardwood floor. He very gently pulled Subaru back into a standing position, wrapping his arms around the onmyouji tightly. "I'm not. Wasn't that what this was all about? Getting me to tell the truth?"
He felt Subaru shivering, and gently ran his fingers through the other's soft, black hair. The onmyouji's eyes were shut tightly, cheek pressed close against Seishirou's chest. "I'm not going to hurt you, Subaru-kun. You don't need to be afraid."
Seishirou felt the damp of Subaru's tears begin to soak into his shirt. "I know," whispered Subaru, quietly. "I know. But I can't stop shaking..."
"I'm sorry," he said, for the second time that evening. He guided Subaru to the bedroom and pulled back the sheets on Subaru's bed, laying the onmyouji down gently. Subaru's eyes flicked open to give him a shocked look when he realised where they were. "S-S-Seishirou-san! What are you...?"
"You're shaking. And you must be tired, or you wouldn't have broken down like that." Seishirou lay down on his side next to him. "Sleep, Subaru-kun," he said, gently stroked the other's hair until he relaxed. He heard Faido pad her way into the room and watched with some amusement as she flopped down on the bottom of the bed and dropped instantly back into slumber.
"Seishirou-san," said Subaru, in a sleepy voice.
"Yes?
"Even if the world ends, tonight... I'm glad. That I had this."
~ END ~
EpilogueSubaru woke the next morning, wrapped up in Seishirou's arms. He blinked, rubbed his eyes, and sat up, blanket pooling in his lab. "We're still here," he said, in wonder.
Seishirou looked up at him with a wry smile. "I suppose this means your Kamui won."
Subaru got out of bed and into his casual pants and top. "I'm going to CLAMP Campus," he announced, taking his coat off the back of the chair.
"No breakfast?"
"It can wait," he said, shrugging on the coat and making his way out onto the street. The world didn't seem any different at all, really. It was New Year's Day, there was hardly anyone on the streets, which were dusted in a freshly fallen coat of snow. The world was still asleep.
He knew Kamui, though. There was no way the boy was sleeping.
The door to Kamui's apartment was opened by a dark-haired young man in black. Subaru took a step backwards, hand instinctively going to his eye.
The boy stared at him, expression moving from surprise to guilt. "I'm sorry," he said, softly.
Subaru blinked at him. Then it clicked. Kamui had somehow won his battle without killing his twin star. He averted his gaze. "I'm sorry, too," he said, quietly, "that you remember."
"I don't remember everything," said Fuuma, opening the door to let Subaru inside. "But I remember enough."
"Any of it would be too much," said Subaru, softly.
Kamui was lying in bed with his eyes closed, but not sleeping. He looked up and smiled weakly at Subaru as the onmyouji entered the room. "I won," he said, in a voice barely above a whisper.
"So I see. Congratulations," said Subaru, walking over to sit on the side of the bed. Kamui seemed to attempt a laugh, but it came out as more of a sob. Subaru gave him a loose hug. "What's wrong, Kamui?"
"It's funny," said Kamui, distantly, "that even though I got what I wanted, I can't enjoy it."
Subaru stroked the boy's hair, gently. "You're afraid of him, aren't you? Even though you know he won't hurt you any more, you can't stop shaking around him."
Kamui nodded, mutely.
Subaru kissed him on the forehead. "It takes time, but you'll be able to control it, eventually. Have hope, Kamui. Always have hope." Subaru got up. "You should sleep. You haven't slept at all tonight, have you?"
The boy shook his head. "Tsuru-san was here until three, but I couldn't get to sleep afterwards."
"Well, you need it. I'm Tsuru-san would agree with me, too."
Kamui gave him another weak smile. "Okay, I'll try."
Fuuma gave Subaru a concerned look as he exited the room. "Is he okay?" he asked, concerned.
Subaru nodded, uncertainly. "He will be, with time."
Fuuma looked relieved. "That's good."
Subaru smiled weakly, in sudden enlightenment. "You love him, right?" Fuuma gave a determined nod. "That will help." After all, he knew from experience.
"You really think he'll forgive me?"
"Well... Kamui and I have a lot in common." To the point that their similarities were often somewhat painful, he reflected. "And I managed."
"Um, Sumeragi-san, about you and the Sakurazukamori..."
Subaru stopped smiling. "Yes?" he said, neutrally.
"He wanted to lose his original bet. His Wish was for the opportunity to make things right between you."
Subaru stared at him.
"He didn't realise this, of course."
Subaru laughed, bitterly. "I suppose he wouldn't."
Fuuma gave him an assessing look. "You're not happy? Don't you remember your wish?"
"My wish?"
"You wished for a reason to love him. You wanted to know that the person you fell in love with at sixteen wasn't totally a lie."
Subaru shrugged. "But he was, wasn't he," he stated.
"The Sakurazukamori has many masks. He simply discarded one in order to don another."
"And what of him now, then?" asked Subaru, curious despite himself.
"Now? I think you achieved your wish. He isn't lying any more."
Subaru didn't answer. If even Fuuma thought Seishirou wasn't lying... Seishirou must really be in love with him.The thought made him feel a curious kind of warmth inside.
"You should go home," said Fuuma, gently guiding him to the door. "It's New Year's Day, people want to be with their loved ones."
"But, I..." He swallowed. He didn't want to go yet. He wasn't sure he wanted to see Seishirou again, not until he was sure what he was feeling. "I wanted to see Tsuru-san first."
"We're having a party of sorts tomorrow night. You and Sakurazuka-san can both come along."
"But..." A party?! With Seishirou-san?! The thought was... It was...
If I ask him to come with me, will he think it's a date?
Would I mind if he does?
Dates meant... kissing...
Seishirou-san.
"Go home, Sumeragi-san. It's your Wish."
THE END---
There's a side story and a second epilogue if anyone's interested...