Hello and welcome once again to The Derailing of the
Train Car of the Mind! I know it's been a while, but hey! I'm a busy girl!
Anywayz, legal stuff…
Disclaimer: We do not, I repeat, do NOT own EVA, or
anything else mentioned here but ourselves. Don't listen to what Rachel says,
she's crazy. Don't sue us, we have no money and you would only get my pet can
of Windex named Armani…
Author's Note: Remember the Soviet thing? Yeah well,
that joke pretty much takes over the story from here….
SHOW TIME!
-Amy-
That night---
"Alright
troops," Lizzie said pointing a liquorish stick at me (amy) and dozens of
stuffed animals. "Tonight is a night that will go down in history as 'The
mighty war that Lizzie and Amy fought against the Soviets who live in their
house with them and think they're weird, but they just have issues they need to
explore and who had more than a dozen stuffed animals that they were going to
launch out of a potato cannon, but Kensuke wouldn't let us borrow his because
he was afraid of the consequences that would result in letting us have it in a
war against his friends who also happen to pilot 400 foot robots."
"Isn't
that a bit long? Why don't we just call it 'the war that Lizzie and Amy
fought?" I said.
"How
about 'the MIGHTY war that Lizzie and Amy fought against the Soviets?"
"Fine."
"COMMENCE
OPERATION!"
(on walkie-talkies)
"Lizzie,
come in, over."
"This is
Lizzie, over."
"I'm
about to cut the power, over."
"Roger."
*all power in the
apartment building goes out*
"I'm going in." Lizzie said.
"I'll meet you there, over and out."
In Sandra's room---
"Silent
but deadly."
"Well not
exactly silent, but Sandra won't be able to hear us through those earplugs." I
said.
"Good
thing she's a sound sleeper."
"Yeah."
We
proceeded to 'eliminate the Soviet spy' by tying her up on a chair, making sure
to put all her blankets with her to compensate for the temperature change
outside.
"Wake up
the prisoner soldier."
"Yes
commander Anderson."
Sandra
woke up when I kicked the chair she was in and it swung way far out over the
street and hit the balcony's railing with a BANG.
"Wahammmuhegahugamm.."
Sandra mumbled through her gagged mouth. Clearly shocked that she was hanging
200 feet from a concrete sidewalk, she was probably either pleading for her
life, or calling for help.
"So
prisoner, what do you say now? Will you tell us your Soviet plot and the
location of your commanding officer, or will you remain loyal to your country
and have to be tortured and plummet to your death in the honorable manner as a
spot on the sidewalk of misery?" Lizzie said, as she raised a knife to the rope
that was suspending Sandra from the roof.
"Mrumfh!"
"Amy!
Lizzie! No!" Misato screamed.
"Abort
mission, soldier, we've been found!"
"I'll
never let you take me alive!" I yelled. With that, Lizzie and I jumped onto
Sandra's chair and cut the rope.
"Noo!"
Misato said as we were plummeting towards the road below.
"Pull the
rip chord!" Commander Anderson said.
"Yes,
Sir!" To Misato's amazement, we floated safely to the ground with a parachute.
"Abandon
the POW, she's not worth it." I said.
"No, we
need the information she has." Lizzie demanded.
"She's
not worth it."
"Go! You
are young and can still make it to the base, bring back help."
"Not
without you!" Lizzie abandoned Sandra, finally, and we went to 'home base'.
(the arcade across the street.)
-Lizzie-
We (Amy
and Lizzie) slumped down in the arcade next to the Sailor V game. (you knew it
was coming…)
"That was
close! But look what I got…" I held up Sandra's house shoes.
"Ooooohhh!
Be careful! They could be bombs!" Amy said snatching the shoes and throwing
them out the door.
Misato
was walking down the street looking for us and as soon as she saw Sandra's
shoes flying out of the arcade. Followed by Amy yelling, "Fire in the hole!"
//Wonderful.
All we need now is for and angel to attack. In fact, I'd welcome one over these
two.//
As if on
cue, (AN: Of course its on cue!) the sirens sounded and the buildings began to
sink. Misato was banging her head on the nearest lamppost. Suddenly she stopped
and her face brightened.
"Amy,
Lizzie! The Russians are attacking!"
We ran
out of the arcade and followed Misato to NERV. Soon, the EVA's were launched
and Amy and I lead the attack.
"Okay,
Amy, move out!" I yelled.
"RIGHT!"
She followed me as we raced up to the angel. We stopped about 100 feet from it.
"I am
Sailor Lizzie!"
"And I am
Sailor Amy!"
"We are
the defenders of love and cheetahs!" We struck our poses. "We will right wrongs
and triumph over evil! And that means you!" With that finished we attacked.
Within minutes the angel was dusted.
-Roxanne-
"When are
WE gonna' get ta' fight an angel?" I asked Misato.
"You guys
get the next one, I promise!"
"Where
are the Russians? Where? Where?" Amy and Lizzie said, frantically searching
through NERV. We all backed away as their eyes were bloodshot and they were
foaming at the mouth.
"Hide
me!" Sandra said, flinging herself behind me.
We tried
to calm them down, but…
"This is
NOT working!" Asuka grunted. She was chasing them around the room.
"Okay,
bring in the tranquilizers!" Misato yelled. 14 techies poured into the room and
proceeded to shoot all of the pilots. "No! No! No! Only Amy and Lizzie!" But it
was too late. We all were immediately asleep, and we had to be carried home. (I
wasn't exactly awake, but Pen Pen and Mr. Pink Elephant told me alllllll about
it!)
"At least
they calmed down…" Misato grumbled under our now snoring forms.
"Snoore….uhuma…the
Rushhhiawns…" Lizzie said.
"Shawdap…"
was my response.
-Amy-
The next morning at breakfast---
…*silence*
Everyone
(except Misato) was piled around the table eating their breakfast. Remarkably
no one said a single word, they were too drugged out on tranquilizers.
Then
Misato came busting in, "Good morning everyone! Man, I got a great night's
sleep since Amy and Lizzie weren't up. Didn't you Shinji?" Everyone glared at
her. "Man, you guys aren't morning people."
-Lizzie-
Misato
was promptly hit with nine spoons.
"Hey!
Look! Lizzie's going back to sleep…" Asuka whispered in Shinji's ear. As soon
as she said that there was a loud SPLASH! Asuka fell out of her chair and was
rolling on the floor laughing. I (lizzie) had just fallen asleep in my Frosted
Mini Wheat's. A minute later my head shot up.
"I'm
awake! I'm awake!" I sputtered. Everyone stared.
After a
nice hot shower, well, it would've been a nice hot shower if Roxanne hadn't
been turning the sink on every two seconds, but I digress… As I was saying,
after my shower we all headed off on our own. It was Sunday, no school, and Amy
and I decided to take Roxanne 'shopping'.
"NO!
PLEASE! Not there! Help meee……"
-Roxanne-
And
that's how we arrived at the world's largest anime/comic store.
"I love
living in Tokyo 3." Amy said.
"We're
gonna make an otaku out of you if it's the last thing we do!" With that, they
pried me off of the parking meter and pulled me into the store.
Well, that's it for now! Stay tuned for yet another
action packed, angel stompin', hostage takin', booty kickin', jelly filled
installment of The Derailing of the Train Car of the Mind! Remember to tune in
next week! Same Bat Time! Same Bat Channel!
-Hiko-chan