Syd's POV
I'm running now. Running down the halls of SD-6, running and looking, looking for Vaughn, my handler, my friend and oh God a sinking feeling tells me he's so much more.
Shit. I can't have these feelings. I can't worry for his life and mine. It's just too much for me to handle.
Where is he? Is he ok? Did anyone find him?
Right now the furthest thing from my mind is what was in that vault. I know it's my job. I know that should be my priority. But all I can think of is Vaughn.
Damn it.
I arrive at the parking garage. I see him. He's safe. Now I can focus, and I do. I complete my mission.
I feel like laughing and crying all at once. Laughing because I know how close we all came to death tonight and crying because I almost lost him.
After Danny I didn't think I could feel this way about anyone. But Vaughn, he knows me. Better then anyone ever has or ever will.
Right now I just want to run to him and throw my arms around him. Prove to myself that he is really there by holding him close to me. And I know in my heart he wants to do the same.
But it's not safe for us. Not here. Not anywhere. Which, right now, is more then frustrating.
He settles for leading me away with his hand. A week ago I wonder if he would have done that. I'm not sure he would have, now it just seems natural.
Natural for me to feel his warmth through my clothes and want nothing more then to feel his warmth incase me and erase all the things that I've seen and done.
I want his large hands around my waist, in my hair, on my face. I want to feel his warmth sink into me and fix all my problems. It's been so long since someone has touched me, held me, whispered that everything was going to be ok.
That's all I want. I only want someone to hold me.
Well that's not true. I only want Vaughn to hold me. Because Vaughn knows me.
He removes his hand. He knows as well as I do that this is dangerous. He's not stupid. He knows that in this instant our fates are decided.
Still I'm selfish and want more.
I joke about perfume.
It's easier to lighten the mood. Safer as well.
Still we look at each other unable to hide our relief, our fears, our feelings. I wonder if we will ever be able to make it to that Kings game.
But it can wait. And I know that it will.
I just wish it didn't have to.
I just wish that we could go somewhere safe.
But it's never safe for us.
And I have a feeling that after tonight it's going to be a lot harder for us to pretend it is.
I'm running now. Running down the halls of SD-6, running and looking, looking for Vaughn, my handler, my friend and oh God a sinking feeling tells me he's so much more.
Shit. I can't have these feelings. I can't worry for his life and mine. It's just too much for me to handle.
Where is he? Is he ok? Did anyone find him?
Right now the furthest thing from my mind is what was in that vault. I know it's my job. I know that should be my priority. But all I can think of is Vaughn.
Damn it.
I arrive at the parking garage. I see him. He's safe. Now I can focus, and I do. I complete my mission.
I feel like laughing and crying all at once. Laughing because I know how close we all came to death tonight and crying because I almost lost him.
After Danny I didn't think I could feel this way about anyone. But Vaughn, he knows me. Better then anyone ever has or ever will.
Right now I just want to run to him and throw my arms around him. Prove to myself that he is really there by holding him close to me. And I know in my heart he wants to do the same.
But it's not safe for us. Not here. Not anywhere. Which, right now, is more then frustrating.
He settles for leading me away with his hand. A week ago I wonder if he would have done that. I'm not sure he would have, now it just seems natural.
Natural for me to feel his warmth through my clothes and want nothing more then to feel his warmth incase me and erase all the things that I've seen and done.
I want his large hands around my waist, in my hair, on my face. I want to feel his warmth sink into me and fix all my problems. It's been so long since someone has touched me, held me, whispered that everything was going to be ok.
That's all I want. I only want someone to hold me.
Well that's not true. I only want Vaughn to hold me. Because Vaughn knows me.
He removes his hand. He knows as well as I do that this is dangerous. He's not stupid. He knows that in this instant our fates are decided.
Still I'm selfish and want more.
I joke about perfume.
It's easier to lighten the mood. Safer as well.
Still we look at each other unable to hide our relief, our fears, our feelings. I wonder if we will ever be able to make it to that Kings game.
But it can wait. And I know that it will.
I just wish it didn't have to.
I just wish that we could go somewhere safe.
But it's never safe for us.
And I have a feeling that after tonight it's going to be a lot harder for us to pretend it is.