-watery eyes- THANKIES FOR ALL THE SUPPORT!!!!!!!!!! =^.^= Well, I told you I like magic -squiggles around- Heh, it turned out shorter than I thought, the story must stink -sweatdrop- .Okee doke, I'll stop talking and, oh right…. I don't own Gravitation or any of it's characters. It belongs to Maki Murakami -bows- . I mentioned this already, please don't sue me!!! Ok, NOW, I'll shut up. Enjoy the rest minna!!!
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Yuki's POV
"What the hell is going on here!" I demanded of the doctor. I didn't get this! All this time, 7 months, I didn't even suspect it! But still, I wasn't even sure if it was him. The doctor calmly pushed a loose strand of hair out of the way, I twitched in annoyance. "Please, calm down. Alright let me explain. From the information from the local hospital in Kyoto, they did have one patient, that had gotten a severe case of amnesia. Not the usual kind that lasts only a couple days, but the kind by which you might keep it forever." the doctor said flatly. "Amnesia?! How could he get amnesia if he was dead?!" I inquired. How could he of survived that fall?! The doctor seemed to look at me at some sort of nuisance, but nonetheless answered, "Well, it's one of those things like when a person gets shot by lightning 50 times, and never dies. Same case. Now, but after he was taken in, he had gotten in a coma. That lasted only a few days of course, but when he woke up, he had forgotten everything. But one day, he wasn't there. The doctors supposed he felt fine, and left without signing out. Of course they weren't happy about that, but that is allowed in that hospital over there. Such crazy rules they have" the doctor tsked. "Wait! What about the funeral?" I asked. I still didn't understand. Why didn't the news reach us? "There was no grave. Didn't you know?" the she said as she raised an eyebrow. "No, not at all." I muttered. Why didn't I check? Wait, now I remember. None of us wanted to check, we all just let it be, it would hurt to much to look at his grave. We were so stupid! No…something kept pecking at my mind, I could quite catch it. No! Ryuuichi checked! Why didn't he tell me. He knew I was suffering! "Thank you" I mumbled through gritted teeth. I would take care of that later, I have another matter to attend to. A matter with pink hair and blue eyes.
Shuichi's POV
I lay there in bed, the white sunlight streaming through the windows. It was bright, almost too bright. I had so many things in my head, I tried to think about JUST one. I remembered everything, from falling down, to when I was that girl, to the earthquake. I knew everything, like I was watching it like a film. I knew what was happening, but wasn't part of it, or I didn't feel it. I even knew that girls feelings when she saw the sticker of Yuki and me. She obviously was surprised to see Yuki with a man. But, I haven't gotten my memory back because of that, I think that along with the earthquake. I couldn't think any farther when the door to my room was slammed open. I didn't bother to look up, I already knew who it was. Silence answered me. I heard the door softly click closed. I heard the soft tapping come closer, and stop right by me. Through all of my restrains, I looked up. Just like I had thought, his eyes had mainly 2 emotions, anger and confusion. But all he said was, "Pack your things, I'm taking you out of here". I slipped out of bed, not mentioning a word. I went to the bathroom and changed back to my regular clothes, the ones without a skirt. I was hesitant to leave the room. Just outside would be Yuki, and there was two things he could do to me, one, kill me, and two, kill me. But also, if I chicken out, and don't come out, he would get more mad. So I took a breath, not too loud or else he would hear me, and opened the door, and shut it behind me. He simply stood there with my suitcase, calm, seeming as if I did nothing wrong. "Let's go" he said flatly. That's good, no anger. No wait, that's bad actually. Once we get back, I'll be gone. Well, not if I hadn't been gone already. I had still remembered when I was falling, that I realized that I still loved him, no matter what thing he did. But that would be the last thing I tell him. I tried to walk steady, with a rhythm, but I walked awkwardly beside him. When we got to the front desk, he signed the papers saying that I was out of the hospital. God, how long can I stand this?! Even walking is hard for me now. We approached the same expensive, imported black car that Yuki owned. He opened the passengers seat door for me. More worse. He was being polite. I remember this saying Yuki had said to me before, I will be polite to a person before they die, that way, they can be treated kindly in their last minutes of living. I'm am so dead. I slipped into the leather seat that I am so acquainted with. He came in, and started to the long drive home. The drive was long, too long. It seemed like a entire year had passed by the time we arrived home. I slowly moved out of the car and moved towards the main entrance. Yuki walked past me as he put the key in and pushed it open. I put my suitcase by the door, and sat down on the red sofa. Before, it was more of a bright red, but now it seemed dulled, almost to the fact that it looked like the color of wine. He sat down across from me when he came back from the kitchen, and put two drinks down. It wasn't really dead-quiet like it was in the hospital, for there was the constant blaring of horns, but it seemed distant. "Well, since you know I'm not the type to pretend there is no problem when there is one, so I'll just get to the point. Can you explain yourself?" he said with a sort of tone, that wasn't flat, or showed any emotion. "Give me one thing in specific to answer, I don't know where to start" I said. It was true, I really didn't know where to start, so might as well say it. "Well, maybe explain why you dressed up as a girl" he said dryly." Even though you knew you had a males body" he added. "Well, it's funny what amnesia can do to you. When I woke up after my coma, I searched through myself. I found out that I had feelings for men, though I was a man myself. Therefore, I thought I was a girl that had maybe have been a test tube baby, or something had gone wrong when they were born. At the time it seemed logical, but once I look back on it, it's nothing more than a child trying to make up an excuse for how they feel. So, I left, thinking that I was simply in a hospital to see someone and had fallen asleep here. I can't believe that I actually believed that" I answered, not stopping, wanting to get it over with. Now I bet he thought I was more than an idiot. Probably far beyond that. But, when you have amnesia, you don't have a judgment. Whatever you think up is what's right. For you don't have that experience of wrong anymore, or at least don't remember it. He didn't reply immediately, just sat there and took a sip out of his drink. "Well, that's somewhat understandable. Now tell me why you didn't recognize any of the furniture?" I looked down. There was no way for me to keep talking and look steadily. "Everything looks so much different now. The walls used to be red, but now they are darker, sort of purple-black. Same thing with the furniture, though it's not necessarily always darker, but different." He didn't reply this time. I supposed he took that for there was no scowl on his face. The was no traffic noises now, and I didn't like it. The silence is killing me. I sensed Yuki look up. I felt forced to look up back at him. "Why did you try to kill yourself?" Fear and shock swarmed over my body. No, anything but that! Why did he have to ask that?! But I knew I had to answer it, for I saw something I would never see. Yuki hurt, so much by me. And he would get hurt more if I didn't answer it. I decided if he got more hurt or not. And I know I didn't want that, but the answer will also hurt him. But which one would hurt more. But then again, I also for some reason wanted to tell him why. It was one of those feelings you don't know why they are there. My body shook as I continued to look at him in the eye. You couldn't imagine how incredibly hard it was to know you had to look straight at him while telling him something like this. "I loved you so much, you were everything to me, my sole reason to look to in life. I would do anything for you, anything. You were the thing that held my life, if you went down, I would go down with you, but willingly. But, one thing I never thought about, is if your supporter didn't want to hold you up anymore, and leave you. However, you won't immediately die from it, but it eventually does, I tried going on without you, but it's just too hard. You can't really explain it, you only understand it when it's there. It keeps killing you until you wished it had killed you right there. So, like all those who don't think about all that could happen, I die, like all the others who have to follow their fate to death. The meeting with you in the park made me believe that even more. Furthermore, a question had risen towards me when that happened, why do you kiss me? You don't do it for you love me obviously, you kissed me in that elevator without even knowing me. I have totally forgotten what the meaning of it is. So, I'm going to ask you, you would have to know, you write about it". I shook more severely now, I didn't care he noticed I was. I had to look at him while he answered this, but he was thinking, for a long time. At first I thought he was sinking the words I just said to further thought, but then I realized he was thinking about my question. He took a sip out of his drink, then took a deep breath before answering. "Well, I'm not fully aware of my feelings until I do something. Like I didn't realize I was interested in you until that time in the elevator. I knew after the second time I had encountered you, I knew you weren't going to be just a person that was going to be there for only a week, but a person that would leave an impression on my life. But that was all I knew, not how in any way. So I guess I kissed you for my sub-conscious was telling me something. And I didn't regret that. But I do regret not understanding you. I simply didn't understand your innocence, for in my world, innocence is simply fake or seduction for something, which both I could easily sense. But you were innocent, without having any sort of imitation or wanting a object of mine. And I thought that was impossible, so I would look for the reason you appeared like this, to find none. So I thought you were so scheming, that I couldn't find out what was your reason, and got rid of you. At that time, it seemed to precise reason why you appeared like that, so innocent. But when I realized it that I was so stupidly wrong, is when I saw you cry after you heard of it. If you really wanted something from me, you wouldn't of cried, or you could of, but it wouldn't be real. But by that time, I had lost you, too far from my grasp. So I guess the meaning of a kiss is when a person feels comfortable towards another person, and shows affection, in that form. And it's true, I did feel comfortable with you, though you were loud, that actually didn't bother me as much as it looked. There are MANY, MANY, other people who were just as loud, or louder. Even when I kissed you to make you silence, I was comfortable. That's my answer". I nodded in reply, I understood that. "But there is one more thing" I said. "Are we going to fix this or not?". I saw him wince. There was no more liquid in his glass. Silence once again graced the house. I saw him smile. "Well, it seems that you are more willing to get right to the problem then I am. Well then, let's make some things sure first. Are you sure you want to start this relationship again?" It was my turn to be shaken with shock. Once again, I hadn't thought about it. Do I want to start this over? Do I have enough positive feelings towards him to fix this? What if I get hurt again, what if this happens all over again? My mind was running too fast, and I wasn't going to get anywhere like this, I've got to calm down. "W…well, I think I can start this over if I can be reassured that I won't get hurt. I think I have more reasons to live now, so I don't think that this would happen all over again. But…the one thing I'm not sure about is if I still have enough positive feelings towards you. I'm not sure…I can't decide" I stuttered. I really wasn't sure. I mean, after so much, I can't find my feelings anymore. It's completely lost. But what I mean is that I can't tell if it's good or bad. But I really didn't have that much time to think, for Yuki had already created a shadow over me. "Are you sure you can't decide?" he said leaning in to whisper that in my ear. I quirkily nodded. "Well, how do you feel like this?" he said softly. I couldn't reply for I had found that something was covering my lips.
Yuki's POV
I couldn't restrain myself any longer, and kissed him. I saw his eyes widen, but didn't object. Again, his scent graced me. I had parted his lips, and didn't want to go too fast for I might disturb him somehow. This brought me back to this memory.
.
.
.
.
I looked at him, and he looked back with fear in his eyes. One thought came across my mind as I stared at him. He's beautiful. One would think when directing a male as attractive, they would say handsome, but I don't think that's right, wrong actually. For handsome is for an appearance that's sort of…rugged? Or more of a style that's not graceful. But that's everything that's not him. He's beautiful, meaning he appears graceful and is easy on the eyes. But before I can ask myself why I thought that, my body had already done something, kiss him. But when I realized what I had just done, I didn't want to stop it. His lips tasted sweet, but not too much. But a more lightened sweet, and tinted with a taste that reminded me of wine.. His scent was also sweet, but soothingly so. I can't really describe it much, there aren't words I'm aware of that's like this. I heard him gasp, and tense, but slowly relax into it. But soon, the taste of his lips were intoxicating me, making me want more. It reminded me of drugs, one you get one hint of it, you want more. But even drugs didn't have this effect on me. Hearing him moan made me more wanting. The way he was looking wasn't helping either. With a blush across his face, he appeared even more beautiful, poisoning me further. He was so perfect…
That is a memory I cherish, and now, I feel the same thing I felt before. I let him go, and he stood there against the wall, an unreadable expression on his face, and a blush once graced him. "Well, do you know now?" I asked. He blushed and admitted, "Well, maybe I do have enough feelings toward you, but we might have to make sure". I grinned, "Sure, let's double-check". I didn't let him reply, and pushed him down to the couch.
I moved a strand of pink away from his eyes. He had fallen asleep, and looked so peaceful like that. We had settled it finally, and I hoped it would stay that way. But to do that, I had to stop being stubborn. But I can't completely change. Or maybe I can, but I can't be sure. Ah yes, that matter with that Ryuuichi. I have just the way to get back at him. I regretfully left Shuichi sleeping, and as quietly as I could, walked towards the living room. I picked up the phone, and I dialed a phone number that I actually don't dial a lot, but I will today. Three rings went until the person picked up. "Hello?". I grinned. Good, he's there. "Hey, Tatsuha. Yeah, it's me. I was wondering if you could do me a favor?".
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WAH!!!!!! That was so lame!! -bonks self on head- And such a stupid ending! ARGH I suck! Gomen minna!! -jumps off building-
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Yuki's POV
"What the hell is going on here!" I demanded of the doctor. I didn't get this! All this time, 7 months, I didn't even suspect it! But still, I wasn't even sure if it was him. The doctor calmly pushed a loose strand of hair out of the way, I twitched in annoyance. "Please, calm down. Alright let me explain. From the information from the local hospital in Kyoto, they did have one patient, that had gotten a severe case of amnesia. Not the usual kind that lasts only a couple days, but the kind by which you might keep it forever." the doctor said flatly. "Amnesia?! How could he get amnesia if he was dead?!" I inquired. How could he of survived that fall?! The doctor seemed to look at me at some sort of nuisance, but nonetheless answered, "Well, it's one of those things like when a person gets shot by lightning 50 times, and never dies. Same case. Now, but after he was taken in, he had gotten in a coma. That lasted only a few days of course, but when he woke up, he had forgotten everything. But one day, he wasn't there. The doctors supposed he felt fine, and left without signing out. Of course they weren't happy about that, but that is allowed in that hospital over there. Such crazy rules they have" the doctor tsked. "Wait! What about the funeral?" I asked. I still didn't understand. Why didn't the news reach us? "There was no grave. Didn't you know?" the she said as she raised an eyebrow. "No, not at all." I muttered. Why didn't I check? Wait, now I remember. None of us wanted to check, we all just let it be, it would hurt to much to look at his grave. We were so stupid! No…something kept pecking at my mind, I could quite catch it. No! Ryuuichi checked! Why didn't he tell me. He knew I was suffering! "Thank you" I mumbled through gritted teeth. I would take care of that later, I have another matter to attend to. A matter with pink hair and blue eyes.
Shuichi's POV
I lay there in bed, the white sunlight streaming through the windows. It was bright, almost too bright. I had so many things in my head, I tried to think about JUST one. I remembered everything, from falling down, to when I was that girl, to the earthquake. I knew everything, like I was watching it like a film. I knew what was happening, but wasn't part of it, or I didn't feel it. I even knew that girls feelings when she saw the sticker of Yuki and me. She obviously was surprised to see Yuki with a man. But, I haven't gotten my memory back because of that, I think that along with the earthquake. I couldn't think any farther when the door to my room was slammed open. I didn't bother to look up, I already knew who it was. Silence answered me. I heard the door softly click closed. I heard the soft tapping come closer, and stop right by me. Through all of my restrains, I looked up. Just like I had thought, his eyes had mainly 2 emotions, anger and confusion. But all he said was, "Pack your things, I'm taking you out of here". I slipped out of bed, not mentioning a word. I went to the bathroom and changed back to my regular clothes, the ones without a skirt. I was hesitant to leave the room. Just outside would be Yuki, and there was two things he could do to me, one, kill me, and two, kill me. But also, if I chicken out, and don't come out, he would get more mad. So I took a breath, not too loud or else he would hear me, and opened the door, and shut it behind me. He simply stood there with my suitcase, calm, seeming as if I did nothing wrong. "Let's go" he said flatly. That's good, no anger. No wait, that's bad actually. Once we get back, I'll be gone. Well, not if I hadn't been gone already. I had still remembered when I was falling, that I realized that I still loved him, no matter what thing he did. But that would be the last thing I tell him. I tried to walk steady, with a rhythm, but I walked awkwardly beside him. When we got to the front desk, he signed the papers saying that I was out of the hospital. God, how long can I stand this?! Even walking is hard for me now. We approached the same expensive, imported black car that Yuki owned. He opened the passengers seat door for me. More worse. He was being polite. I remember this saying Yuki had said to me before, I will be polite to a person before they die, that way, they can be treated kindly in their last minutes of living. I'm am so dead. I slipped into the leather seat that I am so acquainted with. He came in, and started to the long drive home. The drive was long, too long. It seemed like a entire year had passed by the time we arrived home. I slowly moved out of the car and moved towards the main entrance. Yuki walked past me as he put the key in and pushed it open. I put my suitcase by the door, and sat down on the red sofa. Before, it was more of a bright red, but now it seemed dulled, almost to the fact that it looked like the color of wine. He sat down across from me when he came back from the kitchen, and put two drinks down. It wasn't really dead-quiet like it was in the hospital, for there was the constant blaring of horns, but it seemed distant. "Well, since you know I'm not the type to pretend there is no problem when there is one, so I'll just get to the point. Can you explain yourself?" he said with a sort of tone, that wasn't flat, or showed any emotion. "Give me one thing in specific to answer, I don't know where to start" I said. It was true, I really didn't know where to start, so might as well say it. "Well, maybe explain why you dressed up as a girl" he said dryly." Even though you knew you had a males body" he added. "Well, it's funny what amnesia can do to you. When I woke up after my coma, I searched through myself. I found out that I had feelings for men, though I was a man myself. Therefore, I thought I was a girl that had maybe have been a test tube baby, or something had gone wrong when they were born. At the time it seemed logical, but once I look back on it, it's nothing more than a child trying to make up an excuse for how they feel. So, I left, thinking that I was simply in a hospital to see someone and had fallen asleep here. I can't believe that I actually believed that" I answered, not stopping, wanting to get it over with. Now I bet he thought I was more than an idiot. Probably far beyond that. But, when you have amnesia, you don't have a judgment. Whatever you think up is what's right. For you don't have that experience of wrong anymore, or at least don't remember it. He didn't reply immediately, just sat there and took a sip out of his drink. "Well, that's somewhat understandable. Now tell me why you didn't recognize any of the furniture?" I looked down. There was no way for me to keep talking and look steadily. "Everything looks so much different now. The walls used to be red, but now they are darker, sort of purple-black. Same thing with the furniture, though it's not necessarily always darker, but different." He didn't reply this time. I supposed he took that for there was no scowl on his face. The was no traffic noises now, and I didn't like it. The silence is killing me. I sensed Yuki look up. I felt forced to look up back at him. "Why did you try to kill yourself?" Fear and shock swarmed over my body. No, anything but that! Why did he have to ask that?! But I knew I had to answer it, for I saw something I would never see. Yuki hurt, so much by me. And he would get hurt more if I didn't answer it. I decided if he got more hurt or not. And I know I didn't want that, but the answer will also hurt him. But which one would hurt more. But then again, I also for some reason wanted to tell him why. It was one of those feelings you don't know why they are there. My body shook as I continued to look at him in the eye. You couldn't imagine how incredibly hard it was to know you had to look straight at him while telling him something like this. "I loved you so much, you were everything to me, my sole reason to look to in life. I would do anything for you, anything. You were the thing that held my life, if you went down, I would go down with you, but willingly. But, one thing I never thought about, is if your supporter didn't want to hold you up anymore, and leave you. However, you won't immediately die from it, but it eventually does, I tried going on without you, but it's just too hard. You can't really explain it, you only understand it when it's there. It keeps killing you until you wished it had killed you right there. So, like all those who don't think about all that could happen, I die, like all the others who have to follow their fate to death. The meeting with you in the park made me believe that even more. Furthermore, a question had risen towards me when that happened, why do you kiss me? You don't do it for you love me obviously, you kissed me in that elevator without even knowing me. I have totally forgotten what the meaning of it is. So, I'm going to ask you, you would have to know, you write about it". I shook more severely now, I didn't care he noticed I was. I had to look at him while he answered this, but he was thinking, for a long time. At first I thought he was sinking the words I just said to further thought, but then I realized he was thinking about my question. He took a sip out of his drink, then took a deep breath before answering. "Well, I'm not fully aware of my feelings until I do something. Like I didn't realize I was interested in you until that time in the elevator. I knew after the second time I had encountered you, I knew you weren't going to be just a person that was going to be there for only a week, but a person that would leave an impression on my life. But that was all I knew, not how in any way. So I guess I kissed you for my sub-conscious was telling me something. And I didn't regret that. But I do regret not understanding you. I simply didn't understand your innocence, for in my world, innocence is simply fake or seduction for something, which both I could easily sense. But you were innocent, without having any sort of imitation or wanting a object of mine. And I thought that was impossible, so I would look for the reason you appeared like this, to find none. So I thought you were so scheming, that I couldn't find out what was your reason, and got rid of you. At that time, it seemed to precise reason why you appeared like that, so innocent. But when I realized it that I was so stupidly wrong, is when I saw you cry after you heard of it. If you really wanted something from me, you wouldn't of cried, or you could of, but it wouldn't be real. But by that time, I had lost you, too far from my grasp. So I guess the meaning of a kiss is when a person feels comfortable towards another person, and shows affection, in that form. And it's true, I did feel comfortable with you, though you were loud, that actually didn't bother me as much as it looked. There are MANY, MANY, other people who were just as loud, or louder. Even when I kissed you to make you silence, I was comfortable. That's my answer". I nodded in reply, I understood that. "But there is one more thing" I said. "Are we going to fix this or not?". I saw him wince. There was no more liquid in his glass. Silence once again graced the house. I saw him smile. "Well, it seems that you are more willing to get right to the problem then I am. Well then, let's make some things sure first. Are you sure you want to start this relationship again?" It was my turn to be shaken with shock. Once again, I hadn't thought about it. Do I want to start this over? Do I have enough positive feelings towards him to fix this? What if I get hurt again, what if this happens all over again? My mind was running too fast, and I wasn't going to get anywhere like this, I've got to calm down. "W…well, I think I can start this over if I can be reassured that I won't get hurt. I think I have more reasons to live now, so I don't think that this would happen all over again. But…the one thing I'm not sure about is if I still have enough positive feelings towards you. I'm not sure…I can't decide" I stuttered. I really wasn't sure. I mean, after so much, I can't find my feelings anymore. It's completely lost. But what I mean is that I can't tell if it's good or bad. But I really didn't have that much time to think, for Yuki had already created a shadow over me. "Are you sure you can't decide?" he said leaning in to whisper that in my ear. I quirkily nodded. "Well, how do you feel like this?" he said softly. I couldn't reply for I had found that something was covering my lips.
Yuki's POV
I couldn't restrain myself any longer, and kissed him. I saw his eyes widen, but didn't object. Again, his scent graced me. I had parted his lips, and didn't want to go too fast for I might disturb him somehow. This brought me back to this memory.
.
.
.
.
I looked at him, and he looked back with fear in his eyes. One thought came across my mind as I stared at him. He's beautiful. One would think when directing a male as attractive, they would say handsome, but I don't think that's right, wrong actually. For handsome is for an appearance that's sort of…rugged? Or more of a style that's not graceful. But that's everything that's not him. He's beautiful, meaning he appears graceful and is easy on the eyes. But before I can ask myself why I thought that, my body had already done something, kiss him. But when I realized what I had just done, I didn't want to stop it. His lips tasted sweet, but not too much. But a more lightened sweet, and tinted with a taste that reminded me of wine.. His scent was also sweet, but soothingly so. I can't really describe it much, there aren't words I'm aware of that's like this. I heard him gasp, and tense, but slowly relax into it. But soon, the taste of his lips were intoxicating me, making me want more. It reminded me of drugs, one you get one hint of it, you want more. But even drugs didn't have this effect on me. Hearing him moan made me more wanting. The way he was looking wasn't helping either. With a blush across his face, he appeared even more beautiful, poisoning me further. He was so perfect…
That is a memory I cherish, and now, I feel the same thing I felt before. I let him go, and he stood there against the wall, an unreadable expression on his face, and a blush once graced him. "Well, do you know now?" I asked. He blushed and admitted, "Well, maybe I do have enough feelings toward you, but we might have to make sure". I grinned, "Sure, let's double-check". I didn't let him reply, and pushed him down to the couch.
I moved a strand of pink away from his eyes. He had fallen asleep, and looked so peaceful like that. We had settled it finally, and I hoped it would stay that way. But to do that, I had to stop being stubborn. But I can't completely change. Or maybe I can, but I can't be sure. Ah yes, that matter with that Ryuuichi. I have just the way to get back at him. I regretfully left Shuichi sleeping, and as quietly as I could, walked towards the living room. I picked up the phone, and I dialed a phone number that I actually don't dial a lot, but I will today. Three rings went until the person picked up. "Hello?". I grinned. Good, he's there. "Hey, Tatsuha. Yeah, it's me. I was wondering if you could do me a favor?".
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WAH!!!!!! That was so lame!! -bonks self on head- And such a stupid ending! ARGH I suck! Gomen minna!! -jumps off building-