Title: I Think About You
Author: Pandora North Star
Rating: G
Notes: Liz's Journal entry when Max died.
Feb 13, 2001. Liz Parker
How did I know? It's like the way mothers know when their children, lost at war are never coming home. This great battle we've been fighting for three years. It was over. And I was sitting in an attic 2000 miles away drinking whiskey.
I was so sure this was the right thing to do. But now, as I make my way back to the bus my heart is heavy as lead. In one way Max has ruined the one last chance I had to find peace, but in another I wouldn't be here today without him. That's our excuse for everything. Maybe. Maybe, he shouldn't have brought me back. Michael tried to stop him.
Maybe I should be dead, watching them all from heaven, or even if there is one. Maybe God gave us up as losers and started Max's home planet. Even as I think of this stuff I feel I am going to have a panic attack. I'm a science nerd. The universe is logical. But not when I'm around Max. There is no laws of physics then.
I guess I'll never have that now. Max is dead. I'm sure he did it helping someone. The strange thing is that I know that he's dead. We are still that close. I can feel electricity building up in my body with every thought of him. Honestly I don't care. Maybe I'll spontaneously combust and join him wherever he is in the universe. Then I wouldn't be electrified and we wouldn't be hunted. It would be quite nice actually. Only Maria wouldn't get over it.
She's sitting calmly in the seat next to me while I write this journal entry. She looks sad but like it hasn't even reached her yet. She's had a rough couple days too. God, what the hell happened to our lives? Three years ago we were normal high school students. And now. Who cares anymore. Nothing matters. Max is dead.
I'll never be Mrs Evans. Even after Future Max came I harbored secret wishes that we could get married in the future after the altering. I mean we lost Tess anyway. She can't be part of the four. World's gonna end. I should have just hooked up with Max when I had the chance. We'd at least have 14 years together. Screw the world. I don't owe it anything.
So I'm going back to Roswell. I'm not sure if there's going to be a funeral. I haven't heard from Michael or Isabel yet. We left right after I found out. I don't think I'll cry until then. That's when I'll realize I'll never see Max again. I'll never see him brown eyes, his floppy brown hair, his grown up body with the scared little boy inside. I'm the only one who sees that. He worries so much about the rest of us.
Well I'm going to sleep. I hope I dream of Max
Author: Pandora North Star
Rating: G
Notes: Liz's Journal entry when Max died.
Feb 13, 2001. Liz Parker
How did I know? It's like the way mothers know when their children, lost at war are never coming home. This great battle we've been fighting for three years. It was over. And I was sitting in an attic 2000 miles away drinking whiskey.
I was so sure this was the right thing to do. But now, as I make my way back to the bus my heart is heavy as lead. In one way Max has ruined the one last chance I had to find peace, but in another I wouldn't be here today without him. That's our excuse for everything. Maybe. Maybe, he shouldn't have brought me back. Michael tried to stop him.
Maybe I should be dead, watching them all from heaven, or even if there is one. Maybe God gave us up as losers and started Max's home planet. Even as I think of this stuff I feel I am going to have a panic attack. I'm a science nerd. The universe is logical. But not when I'm around Max. There is no laws of physics then.
I guess I'll never have that now. Max is dead. I'm sure he did it helping someone. The strange thing is that I know that he's dead. We are still that close. I can feel electricity building up in my body with every thought of him. Honestly I don't care. Maybe I'll spontaneously combust and join him wherever he is in the universe. Then I wouldn't be electrified and we wouldn't be hunted. It would be quite nice actually. Only Maria wouldn't get over it.
She's sitting calmly in the seat next to me while I write this journal entry. She looks sad but like it hasn't even reached her yet. She's had a rough couple days too. God, what the hell happened to our lives? Three years ago we were normal high school students. And now. Who cares anymore. Nothing matters. Max is dead.
I'll never be Mrs Evans. Even after Future Max came I harbored secret wishes that we could get married in the future after the altering. I mean we lost Tess anyway. She can't be part of the four. World's gonna end. I should have just hooked up with Max when I had the chance. We'd at least have 14 years together. Screw the world. I don't owe it anything.
So I'm going back to Roswell. I'm not sure if there's going to be a funeral. I haven't heard from Michael or Isabel yet. We left right after I found out. I don't think I'll cry until then. That's when I'll realize I'll never see Max again. I'll never see him brown eyes, his floppy brown hair, his grown up body with the scared little boy inside. I'm the only one who sees that. He worries so much about the rest of us.
Well I'm going to sleep. I hope I dream of Max