Title: Hiding From Darkness
Author: Anerastar
Summary: Liz hears of Max's interlude with Max and doesn't cope well.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone. If I did Zan would be licking warm honey off of my tummy, but since that ain't happening anytime soon. You know the drill.
At 6:31 she learned of the truth. Kyle told her, wincing as each word left his mouth, knowing full well that each word was like a shard of glass destroying Liz.
Tess was pregnant.
Max was the father.
At 6:45 she was jogging to the Evan's house. Needing answers, requiring relief, seeking a balm to soothe the jagged edges of her soul. Something was wrong. This could never be true.
He was hers.
She was his.
Didn't he know this?
At 6:54 she arrived breathlessly at the door of her beloved. Knocking once, she stood, shaking, staring deep into the fibers of the Evans' doormat.
Isabel answered, seeing Liz's face and wordlessly moving aside.
Time slowed to nanoseconds…..she focused on placing one foot in front of the other as she turned the corner.
Her heart stopped for approximately 2 seconds as she saw Max.
Her Max.
Her's.
Then her eyes widened as she took 1 more step, because Max was not alone. His visitor was Tess.
Talking with her.
She cocked her head. Surely she was seeing things, but was that his arm around her shoulder? She let her right hand pinch her left arm to make sure this wasn't a horribly surreal nightmare. The pain brought a small gasp from her pallid lips. This was real.
The gasp allowed Tess and Max to notice the shell of a girl in the hallway.
Max took two and a half steps to her, seeking absolvement, yet displaying his guilt with his eyes, as they bore into Liz.
She held up her hand, palm faced outwards. She stared deep into his eyes as her insides crumbled.
"You stay away from me," she whispered deep from the recesses of her raspy throat…….
"Liz," he began, guilt tingeing the word he so revered.
She turned her back and at 6:58 she was out the door. Her hope tied and bound, dead.
She walked home with what little strength she had left. Her mind awash in turmoil she entered through the Crashdown main entrance, full of the dinner-rush.
"Oh chica, I am so glad you are here," Maria began, "there's this convention, and this place is gonna be packed….." Maria finally looked up and went pale, Liz was beyond devastated, Liz wouldn't even look at her, just through her, as if she weren't really there at all. Something had happened. Something big. Liz was strong.
Very Strong.
"What's happened Liz?" she asked guardedly……trying to ascertain the information, trying to help her friend……
Liz ignored her……and silently strode through the customers as she made her way to the back of the building.
She floated upstairs and to her room, unfeeling, unflinching.
At 7:32 p.m Liz sat in the corner of her room, willing herself to be invisible.
At 7:40 there was a rapping on her window. She knew who it was.
Max.
Her betrayer.
She let her soul open, and she was burned.
He used his powers to open the window and to climb inside. What he found made his heart cringe. His Liz, staring wordlessly into the air, squeezed as far as she could into the corner.
He thought she didn't notice his entrance, so glassy were her eyes.
He was wrong.
"do you ever listen Max?" came that same hollow voice.
"get out," she continued, "get out before I do something I might not regret."
This was not the Liz he expected, far from it, she was beyond reasoning. She had discovered something that had affected the very nature of her soul. This was not something that could be soothed over with words, something he was struggling with anyway.
With his heart burned away he climbed back outside the window.
At 7:45 Liz was alone, hearing Maria knocking on her door.
"This is when we split Liz," came the voice from within. "I will take over on the outside, while inside…." The voice shook for a second, "inside you will do whatever you have to do. So until we get back up here, I take over, all right?"
"Okay," Liz answered to the steady voice inside.
She put on her uniform, combed her hair, and opened the door to find a worried Maria.
"What's wrong?" came Maria's worried query.
Liz smiled, "nothing."
Maria was scared for her friend, she'd never seen a smile on someone with dead eyes, even days later this sight would give her nightmares.
Liz walked downstairs with Maria and went on autopilot, letting the Shell continue why she tried to work out the chaos of her mind. Two minds working towards one goal.
Survival.
None of the regulars noticed the eyes. Even her father was oblivious. Maria was at a loss, trying to work through what she could do.
So silently, for the first time in 3 years, she and Liz cleaned up the Crashdown and closed.
"Liz," Maria began again as she reached for her keys inside her purse. "Come with me, let me help you."
Liz shifted her head slightly with a quizzical smile.
"Why would I need help, Maria?" she queried, "when I'm just fine."
With that said she turned on her sneakers and locked the door between her and Maria.
She walked to her room quickly. The exhaustion overwhelming her.
Entering the room she closed the door and locked it.
"We did it." Came the voice from within. "we will continue to survive. Just trust in me. It's all you now Liz…."
Liz stripped off her uniform and climbed woodenly into the shower. She turned the knob as cold as it would go, washing her hair and scrubbing away at her body.
At 11:30 Liz took stock of her desk. Homework for different classes was divided into different sections. She looked them over. Lacking the motivation to attempt even the easiest of assignments. She was empty, bereft of anything.
She went to her bed and lay down on it, towel still wrapped around her chest, hair still soaking.
At 2:15 Liz awoke with a shiver. Was she awake? Was she half-asleep? Liz still wondered about this days later.
Wandering into the bathroom, eyeing the razor on the edge of the bathtub, Liz made a decision. With quick motions, Liz grabbed for the razor and spread the towel apart, exposing one bare leg. In few motions she sliced open numerous cuts on her leg, watching the blood run down her leg. She felt pain.
But god, she felt.
And that was all that mattered.