Hands of Clay--part 3 to Song of Solomon Series
by Isabelle
Disclaimers: BTVS belongs to Joss Whedon along with all the characters--these are sued for entertainment. Lyrics by Asia, In the Heat of the Moment.
Spoilers: "Smashed" and "Wrecked" Season 6 Summary: Set some fifty years after "Smashed", Spike died about seven months after the episode aired. Buffy being not truly human is more of an immortal; she's alone in this earth and her life does an 360 degree turn when she runs into Rocco in a bar one night. Rocco is somewhat the reincarnation of Spike's soul. B/S, some B/Rocco.
Rating: Strong R
Distribution: Please do not take without my permission. The only sites that have my pre-approval to post my stuff is Carnal Sins (cause it's mine), Death-Marked Love, and any affiliate/soulmate of mine.
Feedback: Please!! bih80@yahoo.com
Author's notes: If you've read 100 yrs of Solitude and enjoyed it you will like this, think Spike in 100 yrs, reversed to Buffy. Special thanks to by Betas Allison and Ophelia ;o)--they're wonderful *xoxoxox*
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"My lover spoke and said to me, "Arise my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me." Song of Songs 2:10, The Bible
"I met Spike when I was sixteen," she began, lighting one cigarette and offering him another. Together they sat together and smoked.
The silence was comfortable and understanding, she looked ahead into the empty room filled with dark masses of shadows. He studied her profile, drinking her in.
"We didn't fight the first night. He tried the intimidation angle. It didn't work. I think that's why he liked me, in the enemy sort of way."
She took another drag and slammed back another shot of Scotch.
"We fought many times, hurt each other with words and fists. He left bruises on me that stayed for days...I don't know when exactly he fell in love with me, long before he admitted it to himself or to me, of course, but he did."
She ran a shaky hand through her blonde locks. "I crippled him. Left him months in a wheel chair," she laughed at the memory. "I hated him so much then, but it was a strange sorta hate, maybe I'm saying that since I'm looking at it from this angle now...but he was different, so different. There was life about Spike, he was unlike any other vampire I had ever met, even my boyfriend Angel. Where Angel was gloomy and broody, Spike was laughing up life and rollin' with the punches."
Rocco studied the girl before him. She looked 24, but her eyes were so dark and haunted, like she had lived too many lives since then.
"We made a truce that spring...long story short, he did it for selfish reasons. He did it for love. For the love of Drusilla. I almost envied that love. There I was fighting to kill my ex-boyfriend, and he was going against his very nature to get her back."
Buffy sighed and took another drink.
"I didn't see him for another year, and never thought much about him, but he's not one of those people you forget. His voice...when I heard his voice, not even looking at his face I knew immeadiately who it was. Once again we fought together — and I realized that he was the one person I couldn't lie to. At the time I thought nothing of it, but later on it mattered...it mattered a lot."
Smoke. Blow. Sigh.
"The next time I saw him was one of the most painful. Spike had this amazing ability to lay things out in the open. He didn't lie, he told it to you like it was. There were many time when I wished he would just shut up because the truth was too hard to bear...but at other times I wanted to thank him for making me realize things...things I would have never realized on my own."
She took a deep breath.
"Then things just started to get complicated. Our roles changed. He was no longer a mean killable vampire, and I wasn't the pissed-off slayer. He got a chip inserted by the US government, prevented him from hurting humans. So he was forced to go vegetarian." She chuckled as she remembered the hungry look on his face when she opened the door to him on Thanksgiving. "He was something else, made me want to kill him and hug him at the same time. True, I enjoyed seeing him all weak and pathetic. Served him right after all he had done in his long life. But everything changed the night we got engaged."
"Engaged?" Rocco asked, quite interested. "How did you go from acceptance to engagement?"
Buffy laughed and Rocco couldn't help but wish that she laughed more often. She was breath-taking
"Willow — my best friend, she did a spell to have her will be done and she willed us to get married." she laughed again. "It was the craziest few hours of my life. One moment I was ready to stake him the next I was all over him, kissing, biting, making cute puppy eyes at each other." she smiled remembering. "When the spell ended I was mortified, so was he, but a couple of years later he confessed he loved me then, even when I pulled away form our kiss disgusted. He loved me even then."
He could hear her swallow thickly as the memories became more recent.
I never meant
to be so bad to you
One thing I said that I would never do
"Then there was this entire year were we just traded insults, every chance we got. To be around him was to be on my tiptoes ready to fight — ready to give him my best. Little did he know then that that's what kept me alive. I didn't realize I trusted him so much until he was my only comfort, until I trusted the lives of my mother and sister to him." she stubbed out her cigarette and lit another one. "I don't know when it happened exactly but one moment he was Spike miserable in his crypt, and the next he would just appear when I least expected him and when I most needed him."
Another thick gulp of her scotch and she was back in time fifty yearsyears to when she was not some night creature that hunted for money and lived alone in a roach-infested apartment. The time when she gave a damn.
"When he told me he loved meit got ugly. Spike was the type of man who didn't really know how to express himself, if he wanted to do something nice he would muck it up. He made me so angry at times. In his mind he thought he was doing me a favor, but it always came out too blunt, or too real and too hard to comprehend — but not to him, to him reality should be embraced and accepted. To soulful creatures reality is something you want to hide from." She smiled and took a drag off her cigarette. "He would put his foot in his mouth so many times — and I think it was contagious, cause when I was with him the same thing happened to me. He just had this effect on mebrought out the best and worst."
"Tragic love," Rocco commented, she turned to look at him and studied him.
"You look just like him," she whispered. "Same face, same neck, same chest, same handsyou're him. But when I look in your eyes I know it's not him. There was a way about him, no one could impersonate him."
A look from you
and I would fall from grace
And it would wipe the smile right from my face
"So when did you fall for Mr. Spike?" he asked taking a sip from his drink.
The young blonde smiled. "I fell in love with him after I came back from the deadthe second time."
"You've died?" the young man asked skeptically.
Buffy nodded and twirled the liquid inside her Styrofoam cup. "And came backthe second time I came back immortalI came back a little less human than what I used to be."
"Are you sure?" Buffy asked with a trembling voice.
Her best friend was afraid to meet her gaze.
"Well, I don't know exactly what you are, but there's no doubt that you're not fully human," Willow whispered.
She could feel all eyes on her. Her skin prickled, and she felt nauseous. So Spike had been right, and right now he was the last one she could look at.
So she did what Buffy Summers always did. She ran out.
Out the Magic Box, down the street, past the curb and the ice cream shop, past the laundry until she got to the end of the deserted street. An alley, she could smell the alley. She now belonged in this alley. Dirty and noiseless, a sepulcher of her past life. She was doomed to a life of inhumanity, a life of fighting and survival, a life where suburbs and nine to five jobs didn't exist, a life she hated. She hated it so much she wanted to scratch her skin off until all that was left was her skeleton; the basic montage of what she was.
She wanted to scream she was human; she wanted to pound against the brick alley walls until her fists bled and broke.
She hit things, in her haze of tears and screams, in her fit of desperation.
She hated it, she hated them for bringing her back, she hated her sister for needing her, she hated him for discovering it, she hated this world and the puny humans in it that needed her help, that would not let her rest in peace. In that cold tomb where she was supposed to spend the rest of eternity. In that nether world were everything was perfect, where she had found her peace, where she was complete. Gone were the powers above her that commanded her to do their bidding, that had injected this slayer-spirit within her veins, that made her want to hunt and be attracted to things that were a little less human.
She didn't know how long she cried or how much she screamed, cursing the heavens above. All she knew is when she turned around exhausted and bleeding he was there — standing at the alley entrance, smoking a cigarette and waiting patiently for her to finish her tantrum.
She ran like a wild-woman and pounded her small powerful first against his hard chest, she knew it hurt him — she hit him with all her strength. She cried and cursed him, screaming, but his larger hands found hers and he held her against his chest while she sobbed.
And it hurt him — not the physical pain. He had felt worst but it was her heart-wrenching sobs of despair, and her feeling of solitude and desolation that battered him.
She felt betrayed, left alone and punished for saving this world too many times. And that he understood.
So without hesitation he picked her up — still sobbing and wriggling, and took her home.
"So you got together but you didn't love him?" Rocco asked.
Buffy shook her head and stubbed out her third cigarette.
"I think I fell in love with him right after I came back. everything washe was so different. I mean I cared about him before I had died but it's really the little things that I started noticing afterwards. Like the fact that he cared about Dawn so much, and the fact that he was completely destroyed while I was deadand the look on his face when he saw me for the first time." She smiled. "Then he just became my confidantmy companion. But like everything in Buffy-world it got complicated. We kissedok I kissed him, but still. It changed everything."
She took another swig and frowned when she saw her cup was empty. She went to the kitchen and brought back with her the entire bottle.
Rocco raised his eyebrow at her. "Getting drunk with strange men, Ms. Summers?"
Buffy smiled. "If I'm drunk enough I can pretend you're Spike"
She stopped when she realized what she had said — his face had darkened and shadows had taken over his sharp features.
"This is what this is all about?" he asked. "You, pretending I'm him?"
But coldness had filled her heart even more since she last remembered being human. "What's wrong, Rocco-boy? You think it'll be different? You think you can make me love someone else? Well...you're wrong. I'll fuck you here and now but I'll never love again. That's the one promise I made to myself and I intend to keep it."
Rocco looked at her for a long time, he face was expressionless and blank, and she puffed out her smoke and blew it in his face.
"So what do you say? Would you like to go for a bit of rough and tumble?" she asked seductively, before she collapsed and passed out right on his lap.
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*Dream Sequence*
"Spike? What are you doing here? I thought I told you to go away?" Buffy asked, sweaty and upset.
Spike walked around the length of her training room, looking over the weapons, touching the tip of a few blades.
"Must be nice, having everything all set up for you," he said almost quietly.
Buffy rolled her eyes. Ever since the Willow incident she had made it clear that this *thing* with Spike was not going to continue.
He turned to look at her. "You didn't patrol last night."
Buffy sighed, no matter how much she tried to push him away he was always the one she wanted to talk to when her problems became too much.
"I had Dawn problems last night," she said and regretted the words the minute they left her mouth. Once she started there was no stopping, not if Spike was playing the sympathetic ear.
Do you remember
when we used to dance
And incidents arose from circumstance
Spike stood behind the punching bag and she took her cue to start with the emotional outpouring.
She began violently punching the bag.
"So she wants a tattoo, and she wants a boyfriend," she sighed and looked at him. "I wasn't this much trouble when I was her age."
Spike arched his eyebrow. "Well no, but you were risking your life nightly, not endangering clean skin cells."
"Spike!"
He smiled at her. "Sorry, luv."
"Stop calling me, luv. It makes me feel all Drusilla-y. I hate it."
She punched the bag again and noticed that he was holding back a laugh. "What? Say it?"
Spike shook his head and dropped the bag. "You're jealous. All this time you're just jealous."
Buffy clenched her wrapped fist to her side. "I am not. I have nothing to be jealous of. You and me — nada, remember?"
Spike walked up to her seductively and Buffy tried desperately to avoid looking at his eyes. "Right, slayer."
"And don't call me 'slayer'," she muttered. This was bad. She was becoming entranced...again.
He grabbed her chin gently. "So what shall I call you?" He began kissing her ear.
"We can't," she placed her small hands on his black-clad chest. His tongue running lightly over her earlobe made her shiver. "Xander and Anya..."
"They'd be doing the same thing if they were us." he nibbled on her neck. "Hmm...you taste like vanilla, all soft and smooth and creamy."
"Oh god," she whimpered as his fingers found her nipples.
One thing led
to another, we were young
and we would scream together songs unsung
"Pure, silky vanilla." he kissed her collarbone and ran his tongue right over the swell of her breast.
"OH MY GOD!"
Both Spike and Buffy jumped up in complete shock.
"OH MY GOD!"
They turned to the door of the training room were Xander was gaping at them. His mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out.
"That's it!! No more spells for Willow!"
They watched in awe as Xander stomped out of the room calling for Willow.
Spike turned to look at Buffy.
"Go," she urged him. "Maybe I can convince him that it was a hallucination."
Spike smirked at her but she could see the hurt in his eyes. She was ashamed of him. And she was...at the time.
By the time Xander came back, all hysterical and sweating Buffy was calmly punching her bag and smiled up to them. "Hey guys, what's up?"
*End of Dream Sequence*
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Buffy woke up and realized the sun was setting. She must've slept through the day. She sighed as she found herself fully clothed and sleeping in her bed.
She had many dreams last night, but one was different. She dreamt she met a man named Rocco...and he looked just like Spike.
She ran her hand through her face and rubbed her eyes, preventing the daily tears to flow. It didn't work.
She felt bad for something she had done fifty years ago. Spike's face when she hid him from her friends, even after the game had changed from lust to love.
She stood up from her creaky bed and walked to the living room.
She almost fainted.
There in her raggedy old sofa was Rocco.
But he had been a dream; she shook her head and willed it not to be real.
She walked silently up to the sleeping figure. It was like living in a dream. Spike asleep on her sofa, like every night he watched over Dawn, and she would come home from patrol and play with his hair until he woke up.
She did the same thing.
She sat next to him, making sure not to touch any of him and just stared down at the body below.
She looked down to his feet — they were bare, his boots had been removed. His toes looked the same, his left foot had three black hairs coming out off the large toe. She smiled and followed her gaze up his jean clad-thigh. Well muscled, she touched it slightly, relishing in the feel of him.
She brought her hand up to his waist were his sweater was showing just the barest hint of those abs she had loved. Tentatively she reached out and touched the skin there, smooth and.warm. That wasn't right. She frowned at the reminded that this was not Spike.
She gazed at those hands, hands that were relaxed and masculine. Pale fingers that she used to to play with. Pale white fingers that did wonders to her body. She touched those hands, hands she had cherished for such a short period of time, and she wanted those hands to hold her, touch her face, feel the coolness of them.
She couldn't see his arms and it was a shame, she loved those arms. She wanted to kiss them and feel them — make them love her the way she remembered.
"I like your arms," she said as he wrapped them around her waist, spooning her against him.
"Do you now?" he asked sleepily.
She ran her fingers up and down his forearms. "Yup, love these arms."
She felt him kiss the back of her neck and nuzzle in.
"Spike?"
He didn't breath but she could tell he was dead to the world.
She turned to look at him. He was completely gone. His long lashes shadowed his face and his lips parted slightly. She kissed his bottom lip making him mumble something about dogs in his sleep.
She smiled and inhaled his scent.
"I love you," she whispered.
"Love...you...too," he mumbled.
She bit her lip and looked up to his closed eyes. "Promise me you'll never leave?"
He nodded and kissed her check. "You know I'd never leave you, they'd have to kill me first."
"You promised," she whispered as she looked to the sleeping face.
"What?" Rocco woke up, startled but relaxed when he found the sitting slayer, looking up at him with tears in her eyes.
She swallowed and looked down again. "He promised not to leave."
Rocco sat up and rubbed his face, he was tired of dealing with this emotional girl...or woman. "Dying is not leaving, pet" he said and ran his hand through his brown curls.
"He's not here, is he?" she said sullenly.
"Listen, sugar — I'm not the best person to talk to about this. But I'm sure he'd like it if you moved on."
"You're mine!" Spike roared on top of her. It was almost two weeks before he died.
Buffy smiled at him seductively from underneath.
"You think you own me?" she teased.
He closed in the space between them. "I know I own you. Just like you own me," he said kissing her lips.
She tugged her hips and flipped them over. Their game went both ways. It was great and she could honestly say that for the first time in her life she felt happy.
"You're mine," she tried her best to growl and bit him above his nipple, sending shivers down his spine.
"Slayer," Spike begged underneath.
"Ok — that's it. You call me slayer one more time and I'm finding another bloke to chew on."
He growled and flipped her again, grinding his narrow hips against hers. "Take that back."
Buffy covered her smile with a serious face. "I can get any guy on the block and you know it."
Spike stepped away from her.
Buffy was left confused as she watched him pick up his things from the floor. "Spike?"
He didn't look up and continued to shove arms into his shirt. "Look, Buffy. I thought we were over this, but obviously we're not. You're still treating it like it was a shag and go and here I am loving you...alone."
Buffy gaped at him. She had been joking! "Wait, Spike," she said as she stood up.
He looked down at her and she could see the tears forming in those pools of clear blue.
"Baby, I'm sorry, I was kidding." She took his face in her hands and kissed him.
He was rigid still but began relaxing as she continued to pepper kisses on his face.
She pulled him into her embrace and he held tightly.
"I love you, only you." she whispered and heard him sigh into her hair.
"No other colonial pansies that might threaten us?" She pulled back from him and looked at him. She couldn't believe that they had come this far. She couldn't believe that she had allowed herself to love this much again.
"Nope, only this nasty brit for me," she smiled up at him and kissed him.
"I think we were both selfish like that," she said after a long time, lost in those memories.
"People are always selfish when they're in love," Rocco said.
"I thought it was supposed to be the other way around?"
"That's what the philosophers of life say. But really, think about it. When you're in love you just want to live in this perfect pink bubble and let the earth be destroyed as long as you're happy."
Buffy took a smoke from the pack on the floor and lit it.
"That's where you're wrong," she said. "I've killed the person I loved to save this world, I've sacrificed my life to save the sister I loved, and Spike died to save not only me and Dawn but this entire sick planet."
Rocco took a cigarette from her.
"What do you say you and me have some dinner — I don't peg you for the type of girl that likes to cook."
Buffy smiled sadly and stubbed out her smoke.
"Nope. Don't cook, I have a place I like to go to."
Rocco nodded and grabbed his boots.
"Let me shower, " she mumbled as she padded in to her room. Rocco watched her leave in awe. There was something so familiar about her. He wanted to beg her to let go of this Spike guy. A girl like that deserved to be loved by someone living.
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"Where is she now?"
Bennie laughed nervously as he eyed cautiously the large vampire in front of him.
"Who?"
The vampire roared loudly and grabbed Bennie by the lapels of his coat. The large creature loomed over the small trembling demon.
"The slayer you stupid prick."
"Ahhhh, yesthe slayer — you're talking about the red head, right, cause you know there's two slayers."
He was met by a powerful backhand.
"Stop tryin' to cover for her. Why Bennie-boy?"
The small demon shook his head frantically. "I'm not. I swear boss, she probably got sidetracked. I gave her the message boss, but you know how hardheaded she can beI think she was drinkingthat mighta' been it," the small frightened demon answered.
The vampire growled and threw him on the floor.
"My boys says' that she be running away from Piro's men, findin' herself a partner." The vampire sat down. "The skinny blonde owes me big time. You get it, tuna breath?"
Bennie nodded and picked himself up. "Got it, boss. I'll hit the streets, see what I can find. She's probably drunk and fucked in some alley. You know, the same shit — never taking orders."
The vampire took out a cigar and brought it to his mouth. "You tell the slayer that if Piro's not dead in 24hours I'm coming after her, and her strength and bad attitude won't stop me.
Bennie nodded again, wiping his sweaty palms over his pants. "Sure thing boss, I'll find the slayer — I'll see what's up, give er your message."
The vampire rolled his eyes and dismissed him turning in his large leather chair to look at the two female vampires dressed in nothing but black thongs playing with themselves.
"If that little bitch don't come through she'll be rubbing herself in front of me until we both shrivel up and die."
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"Is this place safe?" Rocco asked Buffy as they stepped through the bar doors.
"Yeah, of course this is. I have my nightly plate of buffalo wings and flowering onion here. Best place in town." She said and waved to Teq.
The bartender acknowledged her presence and went to get her drinks.
"No, Teq. Tonight I'll have tequila."
Teq nodded but didn't question.
"Sure thing, Buff. Will you be eating alone?"
Buffy looked over at Rocco who was trying to sit on the bar stool without touching the greasy counter top. She smiled. He might not be Spike but he was entertaining.
"Actually, we'll have a table tonight. Tell Maggie we'll have two of the usual, with extra sauce."
Teq arched his eyebrow at the young man who was pushing a used glass out of the way with the back of his hand.
"No problem, kiddo," he said and walked away shaking his head.
Buffy grabbed Rocco's arm and dragged him to the nearest empty table.
"How can you eat here. It can't be approved by the health board."
Buffy rolled her eyes and lit a cigarette, offering one to Rocco, which he took gratefully.
"It's crowded tonight — I like it this way, the less people that notice me the better."
Rocco looked around at the people in the bar. "Buffy, you know you're too good for this."
She watched as he zipped his pants back up and deftly hooked his belt back on.
"Leaving so early?" she whispered from her bed.
Spike sighed and looked out the window. "Sun's about to come out. Better make it out of ere before that."
Buffy sat up in bed; her hair flowed around her, bare shoulders glistening in the early dawn light. She looked so beautiful there; with the thin white bed sheet covering her breast slightly and her face fresh and free of makeup.
Spike tried not to think of love thoughts while he was with her. But last nightit had felt different.
"Listen, pet. I know the drill. You don't have to tell a bloke twice. Thisbetween you an me, I know it's not real. It belongs to the night, just like me — you're too good for this. You know it, and I know it. Why do you think I run out every morning? I know that the moment I stay it becomes real. We become real and there goes your hope of having a normal life. With a man you can love and a man who can take you out in the sun and be happy, one that can take Dawn to school when you're too tired. One you can tell your friend's bout without you being ashamed of im. You seem to need one of those, Buffy. And because I love you so damn much I'll step back and let you have im."
She could see the tear tracks in his cheeks. She had made him cry, she with her hiding and her insistence of just sex between them. It was eating him alive. She could feel his pain everytime he touched her. She could feel it because she had started to feel it too. This between them that was forbidden was eating her up inside, and the more she fucked him the more she realized she was making love to him.
"You don't have to"
Spike stopped her; he placed his trembling finger to his lips. "Shhh, baby. We both said it — it's better this way."
With that he picked up his coat and jumped out her window, ducking into the nearest sewer and out of her morning sun.
Buffy sat on the bed for a long time watching as the sun's rays began to cover her room. They crept over her carpeted floor until they finally touched the foot of her bed.
Then she began to cry — to cry in earnest. She buried her head in her pillow and sobbed. She sobbed for him and his pain and for her cowardice. Time and time again she was not brave enough to tell him that she finally loved him.
She exhaled her smoke and looked up at him. Clear green eyes. "I've been too good for many things, but those things have been the best times of my life," she said smiling.
Rocco nodded and thanked Teq when he brought the bottle and two shot glasses to the table.
While Rocco poured them drinks Buffy watched him intently.
"Find something you like, slayer?"
Buffy almost jumped. Then glared at him. "How do you know I'm a slayer?"
Rocco chuckled and threw back his shot.
"Seems to me you're so self-involved you invite a guy into your house and the only reason you trust im is cause he's human. I didn't peg you for an easy catch." Buffy glared at him and threw back her drink.
"So tell us your story—what is the mystery behind the guy named Rocco who looks like William the Bloody."
Rocco smirked at her. "Now that's better. Was getting' a bit tired of listening about your Spike."
Buffy blew out her smoke into his face, not intimidated at all. "You tagged along, remember?"
Rocco nodded, his wavy brown hair falling on his forehead.
"Yeah, I did." He took another drink.
Mollie came out with their food and Buffy thanked her, happily digging in to her large plate. Rocco stared at his food in disbelief.
"Buffalo wings?" he picked up on and danced it in front of her. "And flowering onion?"
Buffy looked up at him, orange sauce dripping from her chin. "Yeah, so what?" she said with a mouth full.
Rocco cringed and reached over to clean her chin. "Please don't tell me this is what you eat every night."
She almost blushed at his attempted closeness. Spike had once teased her, calling her a pig.
"Let me guess, Spike's favorite food."
Buffy pulled back and stared at him. He could see the venom forming in her tongue. He knew she didn't throw her punches, she aimed to kill.
"That's a yes," her murmured under his breath.
"If you want to leave there's the door. No one asked you to tag along. I've got my own life, whether you like it or not. And no matter how hard you try I'll only see Spike in your face." He stared back at her not moving an inch. "Deal with it."
Rocco stood up and nodded. "It's been an interesting night, Summers. Maybe you'll re-live it, in another fifty years."
Buffy watched him leave and she felt her stomach turning. For the first time since she had first come to Teq's she wasn't able to finish her dinner.
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She got really drunk that night. So drunk that she got lost in her own street. She swayed and bumped into brick walls, falling on the alley floors that smelled like rat shit. She could feel through the haze in her mind the sun's coming rays. They were so close it burned right through her. So when three goons grabbed Buffy Summers and slammed her against the alley wall, violently splitting her forehead she did nothing but hand there limply. "Well, well, well, what do we have hereand alley rat. A dirty drunk rat."
Buffy could smell Tito a mile away. Tito, the boss' underdog. He did his dirty work and bashed some heads. If Tito was sent after you, you knew you were in deep shit.
"Tito, pleasure to see you this late at night." The large goon that was holding her there slammed her against the wall again splitting her lips. Buffy hissed and glared at the man.
"Talk again, Summers, and I'll let Bubba ere use you for his workout."
Buffy spit out the blood from her mouth and smiled at Tito. "I don't know what your insistence of talking all uncivilized"
She didn't finish her sentence because Tito punched, hard and with a brass knuckle.
She fell back against the goon and he held her up while Tito finished his beating. In her stomach, her face. He hit her so much she lost count.
The goon dropped her as she moaned and sobbed on the alley floor.
"Boss don't like kittens who don't deliver, if Piro's not dead by tomorrow night, you know the consequences for ladies who fail to live up to their end of the deal, baby"
Buffy rolled herself into a small ball, almost thanking that they hadn't done anything else. She wouldn't have been able to defend herself, not as drunk as she was. She just wanted to curl up and die.
"Spike" she whispered. The pain in her body was nothing compared to the pain that was still so fresh in her heart. "PleaseI need you"
She thought she had it under control, but three demons happened to be too much for the small slayer, she kicked and punched and rolled but they had spines — nasty long spines with poison.
One scraped and it was all it took to make her see double and fall limply to the floor. The next thing she remembered was waking up in Spike's bed. She was naked and shivering. Fevered. Spike finally appeared by her side, urging her to get some rest, running his cool hand through her sweat damped hair, but all she wanted was to feel him around her, so she grabbed on to his waist and would not let him go.
"I've got you baby, you're going to be fine. Jjust a bit of a fever, that's all," he murmured to her ear. It only made her wriggle into his embrace more and whimper. She felt terrible. When was the last time she had felt this sick. "I want my mommy," she whispered. She could feel the sadness coming from him.
He didn't tell her that it'll be all right, he didn't say her mom would come, he didn't even mention that one day she'll feel better and accept it. All he told her was that he was here. And that was enough for her.
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This time she woke up to the feel of someone picking her up. Everything hurt. Her head, her stomach, her skin felt like it was burning, until she realized she was in the sun.
The fire she had run from for years.
Arms held her securely walking at a fast pace. She looked up to the face of her savior and there in the morning light was Spike.
He was back! He looked down at her and frowned. "Don't worry, luv—you're almost home."
She smiled contently and snuggled into his arms. He was back! She kissed his neck. The way she knew he loved, and buried her head there. "I love you."
Rocco stared down at the girl in his arms. He shook his head. She had confused him yet again with her dead love. The moment he thougt he had figured her out she gets herself so beat up she couldn't walk.
He took her to her apartment and laid her down on her bed. She woke up as soon as she touched the mattress.
"Spike?" she was sure she hadn't imagined him.
"Buffy?"
Buffy sat up and looked at where the voice came from. She frowned. It was Rocco.
"What happened?" she asked, lying back down and touching her sore forehead.
"Well..." Rocco started, taking a seat beside her on her bed and placing the antiseptic on the night table. "I would say, pet that you got beat up. Does this happen often?"
Buffy closed her eyes and wished for a cigarette. "When I don't do what I'm supposed to do."
Rocco shook his head and soaked a cotton ball with alcohol.
"Lay still, this might hurt, luv," he murmured and Buffy shut her eyes.
"Get. Away. From. Me." she growled.
Spike looked at her and took a deep unnecessary breath. "Listen to me, luv--I need to do it.
Unless you want to go to the hospital and explain to them why you have a dislocated hip."
Buffy glared at him from her sideways position on the bed.
"I can do it."
"You can break it--then it'll be worse. This will just hurt like a bitch for a few hours and you can sleep though them," he tried, inching closer to her.
"You're not coming near me!"
"You're scaring 'bit!" he growled. "Where's your spine, Slayer?"
Buffy pouted out her lip. "I hate you."
Spike exhaled, knowing he had won. He walked over and got one of her stakes. "Bite down on this."
Buffy whimpered as she shifted on the bed. "Baby, don't move," he said gently.
"Make it quick. The faster I pass out the better."
Spike stuck the stake between her teeth and rubbed his hand soothingly over her head. She met his eyes and nodded. Spike ran his firm hand up her leg and Buffy shut her eyes tightly.
Finding the bone Spike continued to roam his hands, getting her relaxed. When she least expected it he pulled harshly. She screamed and snapped the stake in two between her teeth.
Spike ignored her thrashing and made sure the bone was right. She was crying now. "There, there, baby--all done," he murmured.
He lay back down on the bed next to her and pulled her to him.
"I hate this," she whimpered. "We go out to have a semi-normal night and we get attacked by werewolves. Big ones."
He kissed the top of her head and rubbed his hand on the small of her back. "Go to sleep, once you get better we'll try again."
"Almost done," Rocco whispered. Buffy had been too lost in the memories of that painful night to notice that Rocco had cleaned her wounds.
"Thanks," she whispered back to him.
He stopped wrapping her fingers and looked up at her. "What I don't understand is why such a beautiful and strong woman is doing in a place like this?"
Buffy pulled her hand from his and tried to reach other to her pack of cigarette's on the table but hissed and lay back as her broken and bruised ribs rubbed against each other.
"Let me get it," Rocco said and opened the top drawer of her table. By the pack of cigarettes was an upside down frame.
He reached in and grabbed it. Buffy noticed and snatched it from him.
"Mine," she growled.
Rocco was startled. "I know! Just wanted to see it, pet."
Buffy considered him. She looked down at the frame in her hand and lifted it to see Spike's long dead face.
"I took this about a month before he died. We went for a weekend to this resort. He said we needed sex time. But we had the best time."
Rocco took the 8x10 frame from her and nearly fell off the bed when he saw the picture.
"Oh my god!"
"What?" Buffy asked confused.
"That's me! He's me!" Rocco said, eyes wide and mouth gaping.
Buffy sighed. "I told you. Didn't I tell you?"
"Yeah, but I though you were just crazy! And why is his hair bleached? He looks like an albino!"
Buffy glared at him. "He does not!"
"Does too! And what's with the punk look?"
Buffy snatched the frame from him and traced Spike's face with her beaten fingers. "He was perfect."
Rocco watched her. "I'm...sorry."
"He wasn't something big--you know? He wasn't seeking redemption. But he got it. He got it through a little girl and her bitch of a sister." Buffy sighed and replaced the photo, ignoring the ache in her ribs. "He was simple. Lived in a crypt until I made him move into my home. Had two pairs of jeans, three t-shirts, his boots and a black coat. He did have some colorful shirts around but he mostly dressed black on black."
"Is that why you wear mostly black?"
Buffy placed a fag between her lips and lit it. "Anything that reminds me of him is good."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
"Boss?"
The vampire turned annoyed at the sound of the intruder.
"What now?"
"We found the slayer and let 'er have it real good." Tito smiled.
The vampire nodded and continued to watch the female vampires dance.
"And the man she was with?"
Tito walked up to the elder and handed him a picture. It was Buffy and Rocco dancing, trying to blend in with the crowd.
"Seems William the Bloody is back," Tito commented.
"Spike was a traitor to his kind. Died all noble for humanity."
Tito looked over the picture again. "Wasn't the slayer in love with the vampire?"
The vampire nodded and looked up to him. "You think the bitch brought him back? Now they're working together?"
Tito shrugged. "Hard to say boss, but there ain't no doubt that that is Spike."
The boss smiled. "Well, I like this twist. But it could get old real fast." He took the picture of the dancing couple and burned it with his cigar. "Kill 'im. Never seen a slayer mourn."
Tito smiled and nodded, walking out and snapping his fingers for four of his goons to follow him.
++++++++++++++++++
TBC.....