Chapter XIX: Hold On

She's awake now, a low voice said near Satine.

She's been out of it for quite a time now.

Where's Christian, do you think?

Satine struggled against a pressing weight and opened her eyes. The lisp in that voice was very familiar to her.

She raised her head. Is that you? The small man placed a reassuring hand on her forehead.

It's all right, beautiful. You're safe. Satine looked around to see the anxious faces of Toulouse, Satie, and the Doctor.

What? What happened?

You fainted, Satie said gently.

Just tired, I suppose, Satine murmured, pushing herself up.

All right, all right, give her some air, Toulouse announced, pushing his two companions back. So, my dear Madam Christian, where is your husband.

Satine said quietly.



Because-- because he doesn't love me anymore, Satine's voice was flat and empty, but Toulouse only laughed.

Lover's quarrels! You two!

That's not it, Toulouse! Satine cried. Out came everything that had gone wrong-- the child, the argument, the coldness. Toulouse heard her out in silence, but once she had finished, he brushed back a lock of auburn hair and smiled at her.

He still loves you, Satine. Things aren't always as they seem. In the darkness, here Toulouse waved a hand around the dimly lit apartment. The hat rack becomes a monster. In the light, he squeezed her hand reassuringly. It's all that it is. You two need to stop walking around in the dark.

It's hard, Satine said softly, remembering the hours of heartache and humiliation and pain.

Of course it is. Satine, Toulouse said quietly, the way things are now will continue unless you and Christian change them. Why haven't you told him that you're afraid you can't have a child? Why won't he ask you? You'll just keep lashing out at each other for all the wrong reasons unless you light the candle. Satine looked up.

What should I do? Toulouse stood up.

What you've got to do is
Finish what you have begun
I don't know just how
But it's not over til you've won!

Toulouse raised her to her feet and smiled up into her eyes.

When you see the storm is comin'
See the lightening part the skies
It's too late to run
There's terror in your eyes
What you do then is remember
This old thing you heard me say
It's this storm, not you
That's bound to go away!

I don't know how, Satine said. Toulouse slowly and painfully walked over to the window.

Hold on
Hold on to someone standing by
Hold on
Don't even ask how long or why
Child, hold on to what you know is true
Hold on til you get through
Child, oh, child. . .
And it doesn't even matter
That the danger and the doom
Come from up above or down below
Or just come flying at you from across the room!
Child, hold on
It's this day, not you
That's bound to go away!

Hold on, Satine whispered. Toulouse nodded.

Hold on.

~-~-~
Author's Note: No, I haven't acquired the rights to Moulin Rouge. Leave me alone.

Song used:
Hold On--The Secret Garden