Happy Valentines day, everyone. I wrote this and it could be taken from the point of Usagi, but in truth, it is from me to you. I figure I could get you to read it, however, if it was written as a character of a show you are all familiar. Funny, isn't it, how I wish to be like Makoto or Haruka yet find myself most like the ditzy crybaby of the group. I suppose you want to be something other than you are, which would make me far from the outer senshi. Love you to all and whatever may whatever deity you believe in bless.
I love you because.
By-Fate's Child
Do you know what it's like to live your life behind a mask? To try so hard to keep that mask in place that it BECOMES a part of you and upon trying to shed the mask, find that it is set so firmly in place, not even your willpower will destroy it? What if you find that everything everyone wished you would be, what you wished in your soul you could be, was what you once had the chance to be-but lost the chance when you decided that others were more important. What, you ask, am I rambling about? Let me tell you. I have a mask. It is not one of indifference, it is not one of hate, but one that is born of love. I wear this mask like chains around my neck and shackles on my hands yet still wear the bonds willingly because it helps others. You see, I wear a mask of happiness. Or one that annoys others. But you see, if they love me, if they are happy when they are around me, if they are annoyed, or confused, or angry with me, they cannot think on their heavier troubles, troubles that often lead them down a treacherous path that has no end other than death and destruction. So why do I do this? Why do I sacrifice my pride for the good of others? Because I am a healer. I do not heal the physical wounds that most like a doctor, but the wounds of the soul. The wounds of the mind that are not as simple to see, abrasions on the heart. The saddest thing? I did not realize what I was doing until it was too late for me to control it, to be able to shed the mask when I wished. And I cannot say that this is completely selfless because I feel all the pain that those I try to heal do. And so I heal.
I wish, on days like this, that I could find someone to love me, someone to care, that could see past the illusion that I, myself, have trouble seeing past now. In truth it has become such a part of me that I don't understand how to be anything else any longer. I don't begrudge the burden I have given myself, for in truth, it does make me happy to see other shed their troubles. But I cannot help but wish for someone who will for once not expect me to be their rock. I want a rock of my own, one that will lean on me as well when they need it. It is days such as this that I find myself bitter and aching in the deepest recesses of my soul. And I cry, though no one can see my tears, for I have learned to hide them well. In truth, not even my own family knows how much I yearn to be other then I am.
I am a fighter for peace and happiness. I will not run from confrontation, nor do I enjoy being the cause of it. I want more than anything else be able to love someone with everything I am, something that I cannot do because I fear I will be hurt so completely. How far my words have gone from my original thoughts. I tend to ramble, you may have noticed. But look deep in my words and you will see the truth. If you feel as I do today, that no one loves you truly, remember this: I love you. I have always loved you. It matters not if I don't know you, if I have never met you. Because in my heart, I love you. And given the chance, I would try to make you happy. For as melancholic as I am about my façade, I do it not for myself. Well, maybe I do. Because I love loving the world. It is sometimes all I think is in me.
I love you, stranger, friend, mother, brother, sister, father, cousin. Most of all because I know, given the chance, you would love me too.
I love you because.
By-Fate's Child
Do you know what it's like to live your life behind a mask? To try so hard to keep that mask in place that it BECOMES a part of you and upon trying to shed the mask, find that it is set so firmly in place, not even your willpower will destroy it? What if you find that everything everyone wished you would be, what you wished in your soul you could be, was what you once had the chance to be-but lost the chance when you decided that others were more important. What, you ask, am I rambling about? Let me tell you. I have a mask. It is not one of indifference, it is not one of hate, but one that is born of love. I wear this mask like chains around my neck and shackles on my hands yet still wear the bonds willingly because it helps others. You see, I wear a mask of happiness. Or one that annoys others. But you see, if they love me, if they are happy when they are around me, if they are annoyed, or confused, or angry with me, they cannot think on their heavier troubles, troubles that often lead them down a treacherous path that has no end other than death and destruction. So why do I do this? Why do I sacrifice my pride for the good of others? Because I am a healer. I do not heal the physical wounds that most like a doctor, but the wounds of the soul. The wounds of the mind that are not as simple to see, abrasions on the heart. The saddest thing? I did not realize what I was doing until it was too late for me to control it, to be able to shed the mask when I wished. And I cannot say that this is completely selfless because I feel all the pain that those I try to heal do. And so I heal.
I wish, on days like this, that I could find someone to love me, someone to care, that could see past the illusion that I, myself, have trouble seeing past now. In truth it has become such a part of me that I don't understand how to be anything else any longer. I don't begrudge the burden I have given myself, for in truth, it does make me happy to see other shed their troubles. But I cannot help but wish for someone who will for once not expect me to be their rock. I want a rock of my own, one that will lean on me as well when they need it. It is days such as this that I find myself bitter and aching in the deepest recesses of my soul. And I cry, though no one can see my tears, for I have learned to hide them well. In truth, not even my own family knows how much I yearn to be other then I am.
I am a fighter for peace and happiness. I will not run from confrontation, nor do I enjoy being the cause of it. I want more than anything else be able to love someone with everything I am, something that I cannot do because I fear I will be hurt so completely. How far my words have gone from my original thoughts. I tend to ramble, you may have noticed. But look deep in my words and you will see the truth. If you feel as I do today, that no one loves you truly, remember this: I love you. I have always loved you. It matters not if I don't know you, if I have never met you. Because in my heart, I love you. And given the chance, I would try to make you happy. For as melancholic as I am about my façade, I do it not for myself. Well, maybe I do. Because I love loving the world. It is sometimes all I think is in me.
I love you, stranger, friend, mother, brother, sister, father, cousin. Most of all because I know, given the chance, you would love me too.