Title: The One Where They Say Goodbye
Rating: PG-13. This is angsty people.
Distribution: This site. All others must ask first
Disclaimer: I do not own the FRIENDS or anything relating to them. They belong to NBC, Bright, Kaufman, Crane and a whole bunch of other people who are not me. I'm just having some temporary, non-money making fun.
Summary: We know it will never happen, but what if it did? Semi-spoilers for FRIENDS Season Eight. Don't read if you don't want to know. This is your warning. And yes, I realize the show is coming back for another season and what this story is about will never happen. I just wanted to see if I could come up with a good fic for the impossible impossibility.
Author's Notes: I have no idea where Rachel or Chandler's offices are located or if they are anywhere near where the WTC use to be. I'm just guessing. I also made up the name of her boss and the doctor. I also have no idea how New York paternity laws work, I just made up stuff that sounded good.
Author's notes 2: I don't know if Rachel is Jewish, but I know Ross is ½, which is the explanation for the baby's name. I never thought Rachel or her family was particularly religious at all.
Feedback: You know I want it. Either click the box at the bottom of the page or email me at Abrewer@Flagler.edu Flames will be used to line my cat's litter box.
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You never think it can happen. After all, this is the 21st century. We have the best medical care in the world. The best doctors, the best hospitals and the best technology. Babies can be operated on while they're still in the womb and tiny cameras can be send through the body to eliminated surgery. All this technology, all these advances and it still happened. Why?
1 Flashback: Five Days earlier
Rachel glanced at the clock and groaned. She was late for work again. Thanks to the baby kicking her, she hadn't fallen asleep until almost 3 in the morning. Again. She couldn't wait until the baby came. She'd gladly trade the horrendous backaches and constant kicking for midnight feedings and dirty diapers. Muttering to herself about ungrateful children, she managed to get her shoes on and headed for the door. Maybe her boss would buy the story about traffic again.
Joey had left for work an hour ago, while she was still in the tub trying to soak the stiffness out of her back. Rachel still couldn't believe that she had managed to get out of the bathtub all by herself. But desperate times led to desperate measures. And amazing accomplishments. But it was the one and only time for that one. Regretfully, she realized that long hot baths were going to have to be traded for showers until the baby came and she had a waist again. Only three more weeks.
Traffic in mid-town was terrible. The cab driver seemed to know what he was doing, and wove in and out of the nearly parked cars like a race driver. Rachel wasn't sure whether it was because he wanted to impress her or wanted her out of his cab in case she went into labor. She was betting on the second. Men seemed to be more and more nervous around her lately, as if she was going to start screaming any second. Women on the other hand seemed to gravitate towards her. Strangers kept touching her belly and telling her whether it was a boy or a girl. And the questions! If she heard one more person ask when the baby was due, what sex she wanted or how much weight she had gained she was going to scream.
They were passing the fence around Ground Zero now and Rachel dug in her purse for her ID. Most of the cops knew her, but she still had to prove she had business near Wall Street.
"Hi Miss Green. Got a late start today?" The female officer checking her drivers' license was one she'd seen many time before.
"Baby kept me up. I can't wait until she's here and this is over with." Rachel tucked the card back in her wallet and smiled at the officer.
"Enjoy being pregnant while you can. Once they're out, you have no more control over them. Have a nice day Miss Green."
"You too Officer Alvarez." The cab moved forward with traffic towards the Ralph Lauren offices. Rachel turned her head away from the fence and the sight of the damage beyond. She still hadn't gotten over the terror of sitting with Monica and everyone else, waiting for word on whether Chandler was all right. His offices were right near the Trade Center and he'd had an appointment there that morning. It had been a horrible 12 hours before they'd heard that he was okay. He'd been outside when the first plane hit and had been helping get people away from the sight. When the first tower had come down, a piece of concrete had hit him and broken his wrist. With the backup in the hospitals and overload of the phone lines, there had been no way to contact anyone until he was released that evening. The only time Rachel had ever seen all her friends cry at the same time had been when he walked through the door. She hated passing this place on her way to work but she couldn't help it. Ralph Lauren wasn't going to move, just because she didn't like where they were.
The elevator was out. Five flights of stairs to climb and by the time she hit the fourth one, Rachel was wishing she'd stayed in bed. It was going to be a long day.
"Miss Green, I'd almost forgotten you worked here." Her boss was in an evil mood. Rachel sighed again, carefully lowered herself into her desk chair and looked at the mountain of work piled up on her desk. The fall lines were due out soon which meant her workload was nearly doubled. Why hadn't she gone on maternity leave yet?
Because you want to be super-mom, a little voice told her. You wanted to work until the last possible minute so you can spend all your leave with the baby. So now you reap what you sow and have to get through the fall lines while almost nine months pregnant. Rachel restrained herself from hitting herself in the head and began going through her files. She had to get all this done before she went on leave. She wanted her replacement to have an easy a time as possible.
Around noon she felt a slight cramp in her back, which she forgot about approximately five minutes later. She was too wrapped up in a baby furniture catalog. The nursery was already put together of course (Ross was too uptight, and she was too excited to let it go for long) but she still liked looking at all the baby stuff. She couldn't buy cute clothes for herself anymore, so her shopping urges had to be settled elsewhere. The magazine she was currently looking through was featuring Classic Pooh, the same theme she had picked for the nursery. She wished she'd seen all this stuff two months ago when she and Monica and Phoebe were going from store to store looking for everything. And a small note at the bottom of the page said the furniture could be delivered already assembled. Well that was the universe for you, never gave you what you needed until after you did it the hard way. And putting Ross, Chandler and Joey into the same room with the unassembled baby furniture in the hopes that between the three of them they could put the stuff together was doing it the hard way. Ross had eventually paid Mr. Treager to come over and do it. Oh well, it was already done.
"Rachel can you come in here please?" Mr. Dirkson sounded like he was in a better mood than he had been that morning. Maybe he'd gotten laid at lunch. Rachel very gingerly hauled herself to her feet.
"Omigod!" She cursed very quietly under her breath at the liquid streaming down her legs. For one long second, she thought she'd wet her pants. Then reality sank in. "Omigod!!!"
"Rachel are you-" Mr. Dirkson had apparently gotten annoyed waiting for her and had come to see what the hold up was. "What on earth is going on?"
"Um, I think my water broke." Rachel looked down at the puddle between her feet. "In fact I'm pretty sure of it."
"Well sit down for heavens sake and I'll call an ambulance."
"No, it's okay. I can take a cab to the hospital." Rachel really didn't want to be wheeled out of the office on a stretcher. "I'm fine really."
"Sit down and let me call. I have five children. When the water breaks, labor usually begins pretty soon after. You want to start having contractions in a cab or in an ambulance?" Without waiting for an answer, the older gentleman gently pushed Rachel back into her chair and picked up the phone. Rachel sighed but didn't argue. The man had a point after all.
The paramedics arrived quickly and agreed to let her walk outside. Luckily the elevator had been repaired and she wasn't forced to make her way down the stairs. Once in the ambulance, she gratefully settled down on the stretcher. One attendant rode in back with her, checking her pulse and blood pressure, then baby's heartbeat. The other drove towards St. Vincent's. Luckily Dr. Abrahams had privileges there. Rachel had already made up her mind not to call anyone until after she was settled in. The last thing she needed were her slightly neurotic friends driving her nuts while she tried to change into a hospital gown.
For once hospital bureaucracy moved quickly and Rachel was settled into a labor room. Her doctor appeared about 20 minutes later to check her over. It was a pleasant surprise to both of them that Rachel was already dilated to four centimeters without feeling any painful contractions. Once the doctor left, Rachel reached for the phone to call Ross. She just hoped he wouldn't freak out the way he had when Ben was born. He was teaching a class as it turned out and she got his voicemail. She left a message, then hung up and called Joey. Thankfully he was home and agreed to spread the news and bring her suitcase to the hospital. She thanked him, hung up and curled up on her side to take a nap. She was sleepy and as long as the contractions weren't hurting her, she didn't see the harm in resting for a while.
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"Hey Rach, how you feeling sweetie?" Joey appeared in the doorway just as Rachel woke up.
"I'm okay. It doesn't hurt like Phoebe said it would." She sat up and smiled at him. "How long did it take you to get here?"
"Not that long. I would have been here sooner if I didn't have to convince Monica to stay at work for now. She really wanted to come down here." Joey set the case down and perched on the edge of the bed, then leaned over to kiss Rachel lightly on the forehead. "Are you sure you want her to hold off? You aren't hurting now, but you probably will be when she gets here."
"I'm sure. I love her but I really don't need her pacing around or flipping out that she's never going to have a baby. It'll be bad enough when Ross gets the message I'm in labor."
Joey grinned. Then memory of Ross's reaction to Ben's imminent birth still brought a smile to his face. "I don't think it'll be that bad. Ross promised to behave this time. And you know me and him aren't going to fight like he and Susan were."
"That's what everyone says now. Give it time."
"I promise to behave myself." Rachel looked at the hangdog expression on Joey's face and burst out laughing.
"I know. I'm worrying for nothing. You and Ross have both been so great through this entire pregnancy. It'd just be a shame to kill it now. Just promise me one thing."
"Anything sweetie."
"Neither you nor Ross will get locked in some janitors closet. I can't do this without my coaches."
"I promise." Joey leaned over to kiss her again, on the lips this time. "I'm not going anywhere."
"One more thing. This probably is going to get really painful and I want you to promise that you won't listen to me if I start insulting you. It's really not your fault that I'm in this situation and it's kind of not fair for me to start blaming you now." Rachel was serious for a moment. Her relationship with Joey had snuck up on her but she didn't know what she'd do without him. There was no way she was doing anything to jeopardize it.
She had no way of knowing that Joey was thinking the exact same thing. He still couldn't believe that he'd fallen in love with Rachel, and even more unbelievably she loved him back. He'd do anything for her. Which explained why they were living in Ross's building (bigger room for a nursery and Ross could see the baby more), why pizza was no longer dinner five nights a week (pregnant women needed good nutrition) and why he had agreed to delay getting married until after the baby came. New York law said that if a woman was married when she gave birth, the husband was automatically listed as the father on the birth certificate, even if he wasn't biologically. Joey wouldn't have minded that in the least, but he knew it wouldn't be fair to Ross. He was the father and deserved to be named so. However all three of them had agreed to sign papers saying that if something happened to Rachel, Joey would still have a legal right to visit the baby on a regular basis. None of them had thought that was necessary but the lawyer they'd consulted said it made sense. That you never knew how feelings could change in a year or two and it was better to be safe than sorry. For the most part, Rachel just felt reassured that her child was going to grow up in the midst of a loving family, even it wasn't the most conventional.
Around three o'clock the contractions began to get painful. Rachel was no longer able to talk through them and had taken to digging her nails into Joey's arm during them. He was fairly sure that she was going to draw blood soon. He was very relieved to see Ross walk through the door. Even better, the father-to-be seemed fairly calm and together.
"Hi. Sorry I couldn't get here sooner. The electricity went out in the building and I couldn't get to my voice mail. How are you doing Rach?"
"Pretty good. Last time they checked I was almost seven centimeters and the contractions are coming every six minutes." Rachel was glad to see Ross. She had started worry that he was going to miss the birth. "I feel good now, but when the contractions come it hurts! Maybe Phoebe was right after all."
"Speaking of, she, Chandler and Monica are in the waiting room. You want anyone back here or do you want to wait?" Ross was determined to be cool. The memory of Ben's birth was fresh in his mind and he didn't want to repeat it. He knew his cool relationship with Carol and Susan affected his son. He didn't want to repeat history with this new child. Besides which, he knew Joey and Rachel had every intention of letting him be involved with the baby. They'd even postponed their marriage so that his name could be on the birth certificate as the father. The situation was worked out as well as it was going to get and he was grateful.
"You can let them back one at a time under these conditions: Phoebe is not to mention giving birth to the triplets in any way, shape or form. I am scared enough and I don't want to hear it. Monica is not to mention wanting a baby. Chandler is not to go all Chandler. If they can behave themselves they can come back. I'm doing really well so far and I'm not going to ruin it now." Rachel crossed her arms over her chest, then doubled up as a contraction hit her. Instinctively, Joey and Ross each grabbed one of her hands. She held on for dear life as she felt her entire body taken over by the pain of the contraction.
Something was different with this one. It didn't recede like the others did. In fact it got worse. Her entire abdomen felt like it was burning and she began to scream. This frightened Joey because she hadn't screamed yet. She had said that she didn't want her child to be born hearing her mother yelling and cussing.
"Ross, go get a doctor!" One look at Joey's face convinced Ross that this wasn't the time to argue. Rachel was screaming with pain that seemed to be getting worse with each passing second. He was out the door like a shot and returned with Dr. Abrahams in tow. She took one look at Rachel and called for an ultrasound unit.
"She's abrupted. The placenta has torn from the wall of the uterus and she's hemorrhaging. Badly. We have to do a C-Section NOW." Without waiting for a reply, she began to call out orders to the personnel flooding the room. Joey and Ross were pushed to the side and could only watch helplessly as Rachel was transferred to a gurney and whisked out of the room. She was beginning to lose consciousness and could hardly tell what was going on. But she still managed to call out for Joey.
At the sound of her weak voice, Joey shoved his way to her side and held her hand for the all too brief race down the hall. He only had time for one whispered 'I love you' before Rachel was taken away. He stared dumbly at the double doors behind which she'd disappeared, not believing what was happening. He seemed to stand there forever before the rest of the gang came rushing up.
By the time an hour had gone by Ross was frantic and Joey was about two minutes from losing his mind. Rachel's parents had arrived by then and for once they weren't fighting with each other. A nurse had taken the entire group to a private waiting room. They all sat there, lost in their own thoughts as they wait for the news of their friends and the baby. Finally a nurse appeared in the doorway.
"Which one of you is the father?"
Ross was on his feet in an instant. "That's me."
"The baby is out and healthy. It's a girl. She's 6 lbs, 2oz and is on her way to the nursery. If you'll come with me you can see her."
"What about Rachel?"
No one could miss the shadow that passed across the nurse's face. "She's still in surgery. I'm afraid that's about all I can tell you."
Ross hesitated. He wanted so badly to see his daughter- his daughter! But he didn't want to abandon his friends either. "Can you bring the baby here? I'd like to wait for news on her mother."
"It's not hospital policy to-" She was cut off by the pained cry from Rachel's mother. Dr. Green stood up and pulled his medical ID out of his pocket.
"Could you just make an exception, just this once. I'd really like to see my granddaughter." The nurse eyed the group for a moment, then relented.
"Only for a few minutes. And you have to put on masks first. I'll bring them back with me." She ducked out of the room and came back a few moments later, pushing a plastic isolette in front of her. True to her word, she made everyone put on masks before allowing them near the sleeping pink bundle.
Ross felt tears start to slide down his face when the nurse settled his daughter in his arms. She cooed a bit and opened her eyes briefly. They were milky blue, with just the slightest hint of green in them. She was pretty much bald, save for some faint dark fuzz on her head. "Hello there beautiful. It's nice to finally meet you."
One by one, everyone held the baby, marveling over how perfect she was. She didn't have the red, misshaped face that most newborns had because she hadn't been squished around like they were. Her emergency birth left her looking nearly perfect. Joey got her last.
"Hi there. So you're the one who's been making your mom throw up every morning. I hope you're better behaved out here than you were in there." The baby squinched up her face and began to cry. Joey quickly handed her back to the nurse, who took the baby back to the nursery. Then the waiting resumed again.
20 minutes after the baby had been taken away, Dr. Abrahams appeared in the doorway. She looked exhausted and haggard. Everyone was on their feet and crowding around her, desperate for news of Rachel. She singled out Joey and Ross. Rachel had made her aware of the situation months ago.
"Rachel lost a lot of blood. We got the baby out, as you already know, but Rachel was still critical. We gave her six transfusions and tried the best we could to repair the damage. Unfortunately, we were unable to control the bleeding." Every heart in the room was racing now. They knew what the doctor was going to say and seven minds were willing her not to. "Her heart stopped and we were unable to revive her. I'm so sorry." Sandra screamed and Phoebe fainted. In the ensuing cacophony, no one notice Ross slip out. Joey followed a few minutes later.
The baby was sleeping peacefully in the nursery as her father stared at her with tears running down his face. Only now they were tears of sorrow and pain instead of joy. How could this have happened? Rachel never got to see her daughter or hold her or even name her. The card the end of her cradle simply said Baby Girl Green along with her vital statistics. He had to name her.
"How about Abigail? Rach said she liked it a lot." Ross jumped slightly to find Joey standing next to him.
"What?"
"Her name. I saw you staring at that card. You had to have been figuring out what to call her. I just wanted to tell you that Rachel really liked the name Abigail."
"Abigail. Abby. Abby Gellar. Sound nice." Right on cue the baby woke up and started crying. "Okay, not an Abby. Was their anything else she liked?" For just a second Ross allowed himself to ponder the absurdity of the situation. He was asking his dead friends' fiancée what she had wanted to call her baby, which incidentally had been fathered by him, not the guy she loved. Did life get any weirder or mixed up than this?
"She liked Hannah too. And Sarah. She wanted the baby to have a Jewish name. Cause you know, the religion thing." Joey was still reeling from the news of Rachel's death and could barely think. Concentrating on the baby seemed like a good idea. Maybe if he did that, he wouldn't collapse from the pain of knowing she was gone.
"I like Hannah. Hannah Gellar. Hannah Rachel Gellar." There was no question on the middle name. Hannah would never know her mother except through pictures and stories. Giving her the middle name of Rachel would allow her to carry a part of her mom for her entire life.
Present Day
The funeral was today. Joey still couldn't believe that Rachel was gone. He hadn't been back to his apartment since that day, choosing instead to sleep on Monica and Chandler's couch. They understood completely and had even gone over to get him clothes. He just couldn't face going back to that place where he and Rachel had lived, had been in love and had planned for Hannah's arrival and their future together. He didn't want to see the nursery or Rachel's clothes or any of the thousand reminders of what he'd lost.
The baby had been released from the hospital two days after her birth. Ross was still in the process of getting use to her, with a lot of help from Judy and Monica. He'd set up a nursery in his apartment, which meant Joey couldn't give the baby stuff to him. And he wanted to be rid of it. He didn't need it now. He didn't think he'd ever have a use for it. The only woman he had ever wanted to marry or have children with was being buried on Long Island today. Her parents had begged him to bury her where they could visit often. Just as they had begged Ross to allow them to see their granddaughter. He had graciously agreed.
The funeral passed in a hazy blur. Joey was aware of the death grip Phoebe had on his arm and he saw shapes dressed in black that must have been the mourners, but the only thing that really stood out in his mind was the coffin. Sandra Greene had planned the funeral and had picked out a beautiful oak coffin. The lid was closed and draped with roses in all different colors. Before he knew what was happening, the minister finished the benediction and the coffin was slowly lowered into the ground. That was when the mental haze in his mind snapped and Joey realize for real the Rachel was really gone. She wasn't coming back. That was when he began to cry.
The reception was somewhat better than the funeral. Monica had cooked which meant the food was something to look forward to. And Hannah was there. Carol had babysat during the funeral so Ben could meet his new sister. She brought her back to Monica's apartment after the services. Joey's mind was a little clearer now, to the point where he could speak to people and remember to close his mouth when he chewed. Mainly he sat on the couch and stared off into space, trying to figure out what he was suppose to do with his life now. Ross sitting down next to him startled him. Hannah was sleeping in his arms.
"I guess we have to figure something out."
Joey gave him a confused look. "What do you mean?"
"The custody papers. Remember? If something happens to Rachel, you and I were suppose to share custody of the baby. God, that lawyer must have been able to see the future." Ross shook his head in disbelief.
Joey was stunned by what his friend said. "You don't have to do that. Hannah's your daughter. You shouldn't have to share her like you share Ben."
"I want to. We already live in the same building. It won't be that hard. And it's what Rachel wanted. How else is she going to grow up with any sense of humor?" Ross tried vainly to lighten the atmosphere. "We don't have to decide now. I just wanted you know that I'll honor the agreement. That is if you still want to."
"Of course I do." Joey's reaction surprised even himself.
"Good. I think you knew Rachel better than I ever did, and you'll be able to tell Hannah about her when she asks. And I wasn't kidding about the sense of humor. You and Rachel were a lot more alike than you realize. Except for the part were you aren't a girl, you'll be a very similar influence on her. We'll talk about the details later man." Without another word, Ross laid Hannah in Joey's arms and went over to talk to Chandler.
Epilogue: Eight years later
"Daddy, come on! We're going to be late," Hannah whined. "Daddy Joey's play starts in 20 minutes and it's across town."
"I'm coming, I'm coming." Ross hurried over to where his daughter stood by the door, tapping her foot impatiently. Hannah had inherited her aunt's obsession of being on time and keeping things clean. She was already dressed and clearly ready to go.
"How's my face?" Ross bent down so she could feel if he'd shaved correctly. It was a ritual they'd followed for nearly seven years.
"Good. Aunt Monica buzzed up that she's downstairs with the cab and that if we don't hurry, we have to ride with Aunt Phoebe.
"Move. Out the door, quickly now, that's my good girl." Ross was not about to let Phoebe drive his daughter anywhere.
On the way to the theater, Ross looked at his daughter and marveled once again at the joy she'd brought to his life. She looked more and more like Rachel with every day that passed. She had his love of dinosaurs, her mother's love of shoes and her Daddy Joey's taste for pizza. He and Joey split custody right down the middle and had never really fought about it. They both where there for every school event, doctor's appointment, soccer game and ballet recital. Hannah was as much a part of the huge Tribbiani family as she was a part of the Gellars. Jack and Judy Gellar adored her. Joey's parents thought of her as their granddaughter. Ben doted on his little sister, much to all of his parent's relief. An only child till the age of eight, the shock of sharing his dad had been hard. Plus she had all her cousins around as well. Monica and Chandler had two girls: Sarah, age 5 and Megan, age 3. Her Tribbiani cousins were almost too numerous to count. Joey's seven Catholic sisters had each produced no less than five children each. Dina had nine. Hannah was the youngest of them all. Ross felt his daughter was incredibly lucky to have all these people who loved her so much. The only thing that could have made her life better was if Rachel was there. She would have adored this child so much. And Hannah would have loved her. It grated on her sometimes, that she didn't have a mom like all her other friends had. Monica was there to fill in the gaps, as was Phoebe but it wasn't the same. Monica had her own children to tend to and Phoebe was, well, Phoebe. So Ross and Joey did their best, hoping that Hannah wouldn't be scarred too badly. So far it seemed to work.
Rating: PG-13. This is angsty people.
Distribution: This site. All others must ask first
Disclaimer: I do not own the FRIENDS or anything relating to them. They belong to NBC, Bright, Kaufman, Crane and a whole bunch of other people who are not me. I'm just having some temporary, non-money making fun.
Summary: We know it will never happen, but what if it did? Semi-spoilers for FRIENDS Season Eight. Don't read if you don't want to know. This is your warning. And yes, I realize the show is coming back for another season and what this story is about will never happen. I just wanted to see if I could come up with a good fic for the impossible impossibility.
Author's Notes: I have no idea where Rachel or Chandler's offices are located or if they are anywhere near where the WTC use to be. I'm just guessing. I also made up the name of her boss and the doctor. I also have no idea how New York paternity laws work, I just made up stuff that sounded good.
Author's notes 2: I don't know if Rachel is Jewish, but I know Ross is ½, which is the explanation for the baby's name. I never thought Rachel or her family was particularly religious at all.
Feedback: You know I want it. Either click the box at the bottom of the page or email me at Abrewer@Flagler.edu Flames will be used to line my cat's litter box.
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You never think it can happen. After all, this is the 21st century. We have the best medical care in the world. The best doctors, the best hospitals and the best technology. Babies can be operated on while they're still in the womb and tiny cameras can be send through the body to eliminated surgery. All this technology, all these advances and it still happened. Why?
1 Flashback: Five Days earlier
Rachel glanced at the clock and groaned. She was late for work again. Thanks to the baby kicking her, she hadn't fallen asleep until almost 3 in the morning. Again. She couldn't wait until the baby came. She'd gladly trade the horrendous backaches and constant kicking for midnight feedings and dirty diapers. Muttering to herself about ungrateful children, she managed to get her shoes on and headed for the door. Maybe her boss would buy the story about traffic again.
Joey had left for work an hour ago, while she was still in the tub trying to soak the stiffness out of her back. Rachel still couldn't believe that she had managed to get out of the bathtub all by herself. But desperate times led to desperate measures. And amazing accomplishments. But it was the one and only time for that one. Regretfully, she realized that long hot baths were going to have to be traded for showers until the baby came and she had a waist again. Only three more weeks.
Traffic in mid-town was terrible. The cab driver seemed to know what he was doing, and wove in and out of the nearly parked cars like a race driver. Rachel wasn't sure whether it was because he wanted to impress her or wanted her out of his cab in case she went into labor. She was betting on the second. Men seemed to be more and more nervous around her lately, as if she was going to start screaming any second. Women on the other hand seemed to gravitate towards her. Strangers kept touching her belly and telling her whether it was a boy or a girl. And the questions! If she heard one more person ask when the baby was due, what sex she wanted or how much weight she had gained she was going to scream.
They were passing the fence around Ground Zero now and Rachel dug in her purse for her ID. Most of the cops knew her, but she still had to prove she had business near Wall Street.
"Hi Miss Green. Got a late start today?" The female officer checking her drivers' license was one she'd seen many time before.
"Baby kept me up. I can't wait until she's here and this is over with." Rachel tucked the card back in her wallet and smiled at the officer.
"Enjoy being pregnant while you can. Once they're out, you have no more control over them. Have a nice day Miss Green."
"You too Officer Alvarez." The cab moved forward with traffic towards the Ralph Lauren offices. Rachel turned her head away from the fence and the sight of the damage beyond. She still hadn't gotten over the terror of sitting with Monica and everyone else, waiting for word on whether Chandler was all right. His offices were right near the Trade Center and he'd had an appointment there that morning. It had been a horrible 12 hours before they'd heard that he was okay. He'd been outside when the first plane hit and had been helping get people away from the sight. When the first tower had come down, a piece of concrete had hit him and broken his wrist. With the backup in the hospitals and overload of the phone lines, there had been no way to contact anyone until he was released that evening. The only time Rachel had ever seen all her friends cry at the same time had been when he walked through the door. She hated passing this place on her way to work but she couldn't help it. Ralph Lauren wasn't going to move, just because she didn't like where they were.
The elevator was out. Five flights of stairs to climb and by the time she hit the fourth one, Rachel was wishing she'd stayed in bed. It was going to be a long day.
"Miss Green, I'd almost forgotten you worked here." Her boss was in an evil mood. Rachel sighed again, carefully lowered herself into her desk chair and looked at the mountain of work piled up on her desk. The fall lines were due out soon which meant her workload was nearly doubled. Why hadn't she gone on maternity leave yet?
Because you want to be super-mom, a little voice told her. You wanted to work until the last possible minute so you can spend all your leave with the baby. So now you reap what you sow and have to get through the fall lines while almost nine months pregnant. Rachel restrained herself from hitting herself in the head and began going through her files. She had to get all this done before she went on leave. She wanted her replacement to have an easy a time as possible.
Around noon she felt a slight cramp in her back, which she forgot about approximately five minutes later. She was too wrapped up in a baby furniture catalog. The nursery was already put together of course (Ross was too uptight, and she was too excited to let it go for long) but she still liked looking at all the baby stuff. She couldn't buy cute clothes for herself anymore, so her shopping urges had to be settled elsewhere. The magazine she was currently looking through was featuring Classic Pooh, the same theme she had picked for the nursery. She wished she'd seen all this stuff two months ago when she and Monica and Phoebe were going from store to store looking for everything. And a small note at the bottom of the page said the furniture could be delivered already assembled. Well that was the universe for you, never gave you what you needed until after you did it the hard way. And putting Ross, Chandler and Joey into the same room with the unassembled baby furniture in the hopes that between the three of them they could put the stuff together was doing it the hard way. Ross had eventually paid Mr. Treager to come over and do it. Oh well, it was already done.
"Rachel can you come in here please?" Mr. Dirkson sounded like he was in a better mood than he had been that morning. Maybe he'd gotten laid at lunch. Rachel very gingerly hauled herself to her feet.
"Omigod!" She cursed very quietly under her breath at the liquid streaming down her legs. For one long second, she thought she'd wet her pants. Then reality sank in. "Omigod!!!"
"Rachel are you-" Mr. Dirkson had apparently gotten annoyed waiting for her and had come to see what the hold up was. "What on earth is going on?"
"Um, I think my water broke." Rachel looked down at the puddle between her feet. "In fact I'm pretty sure of it."
"Well sit down for heavens sake and I'll call an ambulance."
"No, it's okay. I can take a cab to the hospital." Rachel really didn't want to be wheeled out of the office on a stretcher. "I'm fine really."
"Sit down and let me call. I have five children. When the water breaks, labor usually begins pretty soon after. You want to start having contractions in a cab or in an ambulance?" Without waiting for an answer, the older gentleman gently pushed Rachel back into her chair and picked up the phone. Rachel sighed but didn't argue. The man had a point after all.
The paramedics arrived quickly and agreed to let her walk outside. Luckily the elevator had been repaired and she wasn't forced to make her way down the stairs. Once in the ambulance, she gratefully settled down on the stretcher. One attendant rode in back with her, checking her pulse and blood pressure, then baby's heartbeat. The other drove towards St. Vincent's. Luckily Dr. Abrahams had privileges there. Rachel had already made up her mind not to call anyone until after she was settled in. The last thing she needed were her slightly neurotic friends driving her nuts while she tried to change into a hospital gown.
For once hospital bureaucracy moved quickly and Rachel was settled into a labor room. Her doctor appeared about 20 minutes later to check her over. It was a pleasant surprise to both of them that Rachel was already dilated to four centimeters without feeling any painful contractions. Once the doctor left, Rachel reached for the phone to call Ross. She just hoped he wouldn't freak out the way he had when Ben was born. He was teaching a class as it turned out and she got his voicemail. She left a message, then hung up and called Joey. Thankfully he was home and agreed to spread the news and bring her suitcase to the hospital. She thanked him, hung up and curled up on her side to take a nap. She was sleepy and as long as the contractions weren't hurting her, she didn't see the harm in resting for a while.
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"Hey Rach, how you feeling sweetie?" Joey appeared in the doorway just as Rachel woke up.
"I'm okay. It doesn't hurt like Phoebe said it would." She sat up and smiled at him. "How long did it take you to get here?"
"Not that long. I would have been here sooner if I didn't have to convince Monica to stay at work for now. She really wanted to come down here." Joey set the case down and perched on the edge of the bed, then leaned over to kiss Rachel lightly on the forehead. "Are you sure you want her to hold off? You aren't hurting now, but you probably will be when she gets here."
"I'm sure. I love her but I really don't need her pacing around or flipping out that she's never going to have a baby. It'll be bad enough when Ross gets the message I'm in labor."
Joey grinned. Then memory of Ross's reaction to Ben's imminent birth still brought a smile to his face. "I don't think it'll be that bad. Ross promised to behave this time. And you know me and him aren't going to fight like he and Susan were."
"That's what everyone says now. Give it time."
"I promise to behave myself." Rachel looked at the hangdog expression on Joey's face and burst out laughing.
"I know. I'm worrying for nothing. You and Ross have both been so great through this entire pregnancy. It'd just be a shame to kill it now. Just promise me one thing."
"Anything sweetie."
"Neither you nor Ross will get locked in some janitors closet. I can't do this without my coaches."
"I promise." Joey leaned over to kiss her again, on the lips this time. "I'm not going anywhere."
"One more thing. This probably is going to get really painful and I want you to promise that you won't listen to me if I start insulting you. It's really not your fault that I'm in this situation and it's kind of not fair for me to start blaming you now." Rachel was serious for a moment. Her relationship with Joey had snuck up on her but she didn't know what she'd do without him. There was no way she was doing anything to jeopardize it.
She had no way of knowing that Joey was thinking the exact same thing. He still couldn't believe that he'd fallen in love with Rachel, and even more unbelievably she loved him back. He'd do anything for her. Which explained why they were living in Ross's building (bigger room for a nursery and Ross could see the baby more), why pizza was no longer dinner five nights a week (pregnant women needed good nutrition) and why he had agreed to delay getting married until after the baby came. New York law said that if a woman was married when she gave birth, the husband was automatically listed as the father on the birth certificate, even if he wasn't biologically. Joey wouldn't have minded that in the least, but he knew it wouldn't be fair to Ross. He was the father and deserved to be named so. However all three of them had agreed to sign papers saying that if something happened to Rachel, Joey would still have a legal right to visit the baby on a regular basis. None of them had thought that was necessary but the lawyer they'd consulted said it made sense. That you never knew how feelings could change in a year or two and it was better to be safe than sorry. For the most part, Rachel just felt reassured that her child was going to grow up in the midst of a loving family, even it wasn't the most conventional.
Around three o'clock the contractions began to get painful. Rachel was no longer able to talk through them and had taken to digging her nails into Joey's arm during them. He was fairly sure that she was going to draw blood soon. He was very relieved to see Ross walk through the door. Even better, the father-to-be seemed fairly calm and together.
"Hi. Sorry I couldn't get here sooner. The electricity went out in the building and I couldn't get to my voice mail. How are you doing Rach?"
"Pretty good. Last time they checked I was almost seven centimeters and the contractions are coming every six minutes." Rachel was glad to see Ross. She had started worry that he was going to miss the birth. "I feel good now, but when the contractions come it hurts! Maybe Phoebe was right after all."
"Speaking of, she, Chandler and Monica are in the waiting room. You want anyone back here or do you want to wait?" Ross was determined to be cool. The memory of Ben's birth was fresh in his mind and he didn't want to repeat it. He knew his cool relationship with Carol and Susan affected his son. He didn't want to repeat history with this new child. Besides which, he knew Joey and Rachel had every intention of letting him be involved with the baby. They'd even postponed their marriage so that his name could be on the birth certificate as the father. The situation was worked out as well as it was going to get and he was grateful.
"You can let them back one at a time under these conditions: Phoebe is not to mention giving birth to the triplets in any way, shape or form. I am scared enough and I don't want to hear it. Monica is not to mention wanting a baby. Chandler is not to go all Chandler. If they can behave themselves they can come back. I'm doing really well so far and I'm not going to ruin it now." Rachel crossed her arms over her chest, then doubled up as a contraction hit her. Instinctively, Joey and Ross each grabbed one of her hands. She held on for dear life as she felt her entire body taken over by the pain of the contraction.
Something was different with this one. It didn't recede like the others did. In fact it got worse. Her entire abdomen felt like it was burning and she began to scream. This frightened Joey because she hadn't screamed yet. She had said that she didn't want her child to be born hearing her mother yelling and cussing.
"Ross, go get a doctor!" One look at Joey's face convinced Ross that this wasn't the time to argue. Rachel was screaming with pain that seemed to be getting worse with each passing second. He was out the door like a shot and returned with Dr. Abrahams in tow. She took one look at Rachel and called for an ultrasound unit.
"She's abrupted. The placenta has torn from the wall of the uterus and she's hemorrhaging. Badly. We have to do a C-Section NOW." Without waiting for a reply, she began to call out orders to the personnel flooding the room. Joey and Ross were pushed to the side and could only watch helplessly as Rachel was transferred to a gurney and whisked out of the room. She was beginning to lose consciousness and could hardly tell what was going on. But she still managed to call out for Joey.
At the sound of her weak voice, Joey shoved his way to her side and held her hand for the all too brief race down the hall. He only had time for one whispered 'I love you' before Rachel was taken away. He stared dumbly at the double doors behind which she'd disappeared, not believing what was happening. He seemed to stand there forever before the rest of the gang came rushing up.
By the time an hour had gone by Ross was frantic and Joey was about two minutes from losing his mind. Rachel's parents had arrived by then and for once they weren't fighting with each other. A nurse had taken the entire group to a private waiting room. They all sat there, lost in their own thoughts as they wait for the news of their friends and the baby. Finally a nurse appeared in the doorway.
"Which one of you is the father?"
Ross was on his feet in an instant. "That's me."
"The baby is out and healthy. It's a girl. She's 6 lbs, 2oz and is on her way to the nursery. If you'll come with me you can see her."
"What about Rachel?"
No one could miss the shadow that passed across the nurse's face. "She's still in surgery. I'm afraid that's about all I can tell you."
Ross hesitated. He wanted so badly to see his daughter- his daughter! But he didn't want to abandon his friends either. "Can you bring the baby here? I'd like to wait for news on her mother."
"It's not hospital policy to-" She was cut off by the pained cry from Rachel's mother. Dr. Green stood up and pulled his medical ID out of his pocket.
"Could you just make an exception, just this once. I'd really like to see my granddaughter." The nurse eyed the group for a moment, then relented.
"Only for a few minutes. And you have to put on masks first. I'll bring them back with me." She ducked out of the room and came back a few moments later, pushing a plastic isolette in front of her. True to her word, she made everyone put on masks before allowing them near the sleeping pink bundle.
Ross felt tears start to slide down his face when the nurse settled his daughter in his arms. She cooed a bit and opened her eyes briefly. They were milky blue, with just the slightest hint of green in them. She was pretty much bald, save for some faint dark fuzz on her head. "Hello there beautiful. It's nice to finally meet you."
One by one, everyone held the baby, marveling over how perfect she was. She didn't have the red, misshaped face that most newborns had because she hadn't been squished around like they were. Her emergency birth left her looking nearly perfect. Joey got her last.
"Hi there. So you're the one who's been making your mom throw up every morning. I hope you're better behaved out here than you were in there." The baby squinched up her face and began to cry. Joey quickly handed her back to the nurse, who took the baby back to the nursery. Then the waiting resumed again.
20 minutes after the baby had been taken away, Dr. Abrahams appeared in the doorway. She looked exhausted and haggard. Everyone was on their feet and crowding around her, desperate for news of Rachel. She singled out Joey and Ross. Rachel had made her aware of the situation months ago.
"Rachel lost a lot of blood. We got the baby out, as you already know, but Rachel was still critical. We gave her six transfusions and tried the best we could to repair the damage. Unfortunately, we were unable to control the bleeding." Every heart in the room was racing now. They knew what the doctor was going to say and seven minds were willing her not to. "Her heart stopped and we were unable to revive her. I'm so sorry." Sandra screamed and Phoebe fainted. In the ensuing cacophony, no one notice Ross slip out. Joey followed a few minutes later.
The baby was sleeping peacefully in the nursery as her father stared at her with tears running down his face. Only now they were tears of sorrow and pain instead of joy. How could this have happened? Rachel never got to see her daughter or hold her or even name her. The card the end of her cradle simply said Baby Girl Green along with her vital statistics. He had to name her.
"How about Abigail? Rach said she liked it a lot." Ross jumped slightly to find Joey standing next to him.
"What?"
"Her name. I saw you staring at that card. You had to have been figuring out what to call her. I just wanted to tell you that Rachel really liked the name Abigail."
"Abigail. Abby. Abby Gellar. Sound nice." Right on cue the baby woke up and started crying. "Okay, not an Abby. Was their anything else she liked?" For just a second Ross allowed himself to ponder the absurdity of the situation. He was asking his dead friends' fiancée what she had wanted to call her baby, which incidentally had been fathered by him, not the guy she loved. Did life get any weirder or mixed up than this?
"She liked Hannah too. And Sarah. She wanted the baby to have a Jewish name. Cause you know, the religion thing." Joey was still reeling from the news of Rachel's death and could barely think. Concentrating on the baby seemed like a good idea. Maybe if he did that, he wouldn't collapse from the pain of knowing she was gone.
"I like Hannah. Hannah Gellar. Hannah Rachel Gellar." There was no question on the middle name. Hannah would never know her mother except through pictures and stories. Giving her the middle name of Rachel would allow her to carry a part of her mom for her entire life.
Present Day
The funeral was today. Joey still couldn't believe that Rachel was gone. He hadn't been back to his apartment since that day, choosing instead to sleep on Monica and Chandler's couch. They understood completely and had even gone over to get him clothes. He just couldn't face going back to that place where he and Rachel had lived, had been in love and had planned for Hannah's arrival and their future together. He didn't want to see the nursery or Rachel's clothes or any of the thousand reminders of what he'd lost.
The baby had been released from the hospital two days after her birth. Ross was still in the process of getting use to her, with a lot of help from Judy and Monica. He'd set up a nursery in his apartment, which meant Joey couldn't give the baby stuff to him. And he wanted to be rid of it. He didn't need it now. He didn't think he'd ever have a use for it. The only woman he had ever wanted to marry or have children with was being buried on Long Island today. Her parents had begged him to bury her where they could visit often. Just as they had begged Ross to allow them to see their granddaughter. He had graciously agreed.
The funeral passed in a hazy blur. Joey was aware of the death grip Phoebe had on his arm and he saw shapes dressed in black that must have been the mourners, but the only thing that really stood out in his mind was the coffin. Sandra Greene had planned the funeral and had picked out a beautiful oak coffin. The lid was closed and draped with roses in all different colors. Before he knew what was happening, the minister finished the benediction and the coffin was slowly lowered into the ground. That was when the mental haze in his mind snapped and Joey realize for real the Rachel was really gone. She wasn't coming back. That was when he began to cry.
The reception was somewhat better than the funeral. Monica had cooked which meant the food was something to look forward to. And Hannah was there. Carol had babysat during the funeral so Ben could meet his new sister. She brought her back to Monica's apartment after the services. Joey's mind was a little clearer now, to the point where he could speak to people and remember to close his mouth when he chewed. Mainly he sat on the couch and stared off into space, trying to figure out what he was suppose to do with his life now. Ross sitting down next to him startled him. Hannah was sleeping in his arms.
"I guess we have to figure something out."
Joey gave him a confused look. "What do you mean?"
"The custody papers. Remember? If something happens to Rachel, you and I were suppose to share custody of the baby. God, that lawyer must have been able to see the future." Ross shook his head in disbelief.
Joey was stunned by what his friend said. "You don't have to do that. Hannah's your daughter. You shouldn't have to share her like you share Ben."
"I want to. We already live in the same building. It won't be that hard. And it's what Rachel wanted. How else is she going to grow up with any sense of humor?" Ross tried vainly to lighten the atmosphere. "We don't have to decide now. I just wanted you know that I'll honor the agreement. That is if you still want to."
"Of course I do." Joey's reaction surprised even himself.
"Good. I think you knew Rachel better than I ever did, and you'll be able to tell Hannah about her when she asks. And I wasn't kidding about the sense of humor. You and Rachel were a lot more alike than you realize. Except for the part were you aren't a girl, you'll be a very similar influence on her. We'll talk about the details later man." Without another word, Ross laid Hannah in Joey's arms and went over to talk to Chandler.
Epilogue: Eight years later
"Daddy, come on! We're going to be late," Hannah whined. "Daddy Joey's play starts in 20 minutes and it's across town."
"I'm coming, I'm coming." Ross hurried over to where his daughter stood by the door, tapping her foot impatiently. Hannah had inherited her aunt's obsession of being on time and keeping things clean. She was already dressed and clearly ready to go.
"How's my face?" Ross bent down so she could feel if he'd shaved correctly. It was a ritual they'd followed for nearly seven years.
"Good. Aunt Monica buzzed up that she's downstairs with the cab and that if we don't hurry, we have to ride with Aunt Phoebe.
"Move. Out the door, quickly now, that's my good girl." Ross was not about to let Phoebe drive his daughter anywhere.
On the way to the theater, Ross looked at his daughter and marveled once again at the joy she'd brought to his life. She looked more and more like Rachel with every day that passed. She had his love of dinosaurs, her mother's love of shoes and her Daddy Joey's taste for pizza. He and Joey split custody right down the middle and had never really fought about it. They both where there for every school event, doctor's appointment, soccer game and ballet recital. Hannah was as much a part of the huge Tribbiani family as she was a part of the Gellars. Jack and Judy Gellar adored her. Joey's parents thought of her as their granddaughter. Ben doted on his little sister, much to all of his parent's relief. An only child till the age of eight, the shock of sharing his dad had been hard. Plus she had all her cousins around as well. Monica and Chandler had two girls: Sarah, age 5 and Megan, age 3. Her Tribbiani cousins were almost too numerous to count. Joey's seven Catholic sisters had each produced no less than five children each. Dina had nine. Hannah was the youngest of them all. Ross felt his daughter was incredibly lucky to have all these people who loved her so much. The only thing that could have made her life better was if Rachel was there. She would have adored this child so much. And Hannah would have loved her. It grated on her sometimes, that she didn't have a mom like all her other friends had. Monica was there to fill in the gaps, as was Phoebe but it wasn't the same. Monica had her own children to tend to and Phoebe was, well, Phoebe. So Ross and Joey did their best, hoping that Hannah wouldn't be scarred too badly. So far it seemed to work.