Title: Someday
Author: Steph (ILUVNYYANK@aol.com)
Category: Drama/Romantic overtones
Pairings: Sydney/Vaughn
POV: Vaughn
Summary: My version of the Syd/Vaughn conversation that leads to The Vaughn Line we saw in the preview for the next episode "The Coup". (Vaughn POV)
Rating: PG
Archive: Sure, just let me know where.
Spoilers: "The Box Part 1 & 2" and the upcoming "The Coup". Just bits of both.
Disclaimer: Alias and its characters do not belong tome. I do this out of a love for the show and no infringement is intended.
Note: I heard that Vaughn line in the preview and I couldn't get it out of my head. This short little thing just kind of sprung from wondering what would have lead up to that line. Hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you thought! ~Steph
* * * Someday: Part 1/1 * * *
I stand on the bridge waiting for her.
It's amazing how my whole life has become about counting down the minutes until I see her face again.
I used to watch those lame romantic comedies with Alice, where the guy professes his love and then confesses that his life began when he met the girl. He walks around the entire movie in a fog, his mind completely overtaken by thoughts of her. He says she's always on his mind.
I used to scoff at the men in those movies. I used to think that no woman could have that kind of effect on a man.
I used to think it was impossible...unrealistic...mushy movie magic.
Then I met Sydney.
And suddenly those guys in those movies became me.
She's on my mind nearly every minute of everyday. I find myself losing concentration at work because I am thinking about her.
I can't pretend that my feelings for her haven't clouded my judgment. And I'm afraid that someday that might lead to her getting hurt.
After the Cole situation, Devlin put me back on as her handler. He said it was obvious that we make a good team and that removing me would only harm the agency. In addition, he was so impressed with how I handled the situation that he chose to overlook the fact that I disobeyed orders. Well, he sort of overlooked it. I'm on probation. He realized that if it weren't for me, then Sydney and her father could have died and this branch of SD-6 could have been destroyed, which would have hindered our progress considerably. And we never would have gotten our hands on that artifact of Rambaldi's. Devlin said that he knew I was acting in the best interests of the agency and he respected that.
If he only knew.
If he only knew the motivation behind my actions.
I wanted to protect her, I wanted to keep her safe.
As soon as I picked up that gun, I knew my career might be over.
I was willing to take that risk. I was willing to risk my life...for her.
I sigh and squeeze my eyes shut, as I massage the bridge of my nose.
I have to stop thinking like this. If I stand a chance in hell of resisting her, I have to stop thinking like this.
"Hey," a voice comes from behind me.
I'd know that voice anywhere.
I turn around to face her and offer her a smile, which she returns.
"Hey."
She comes to stand by my side and we both focus our eyes on objects in the distance.
"How are things at SD-6?"
"The clean-up crew is nearly finished. Sloane's finger seems to be healing nicely."
I shake my head, "I can't believe your father cut off Sloane's finger."
"I know," she replies, her lips curling into the slightest of smiles. "How did things go with Devlin?"
I offer her a sideways glance, "Good, actually. I've been put back on as your handler, as you can probably tell from the fact that I'm standing here. I'm on probation, but my heroic efforts apparently impressed Devlin enough to overlook, for the most part, that I disobeyed orders."
I glance at her quickly, waiting for some reaction, but I notice that she's got a preoccupied look in her eyes.
I'm just about to speak, when she beats me to it, "Would you have come if it weren't me in there?"
She turns her head towards me, her eyes meeting mine.
I'm thrown by her question and I have to force my slightly ajar mouth closed.
I swallow hard. "I'm not sure I understand what you're asking."
"If it hadn't been me in there, if it had been some other agent that you handle, would you have come?"
My brow creases and I lower my eyes. "Sydney...You know I was protecting the interests of the agency. You are an invaluable asset to us. And losing this branch of SD-6 would set us back considerably."
I slowly raise my eyes up and notice that she sets her jaw. "It's a yes or no question, Vaughn."
I sigh and shake my head, "It's n-..."
"It's a simple question. Y-..."
"No, it's not," I reply sharply, cutting her off.
Her eyes dart across my face, apparently trying to read my expression. I force my gaze to focus on something off in the distance and lower my voice, "My feel...Our relationship is anything but simple, Sydney."
"Why?" she says in a tone that barely indicates it's a question.
I study her face for a moment before replying softly, "You know why."
"I'd like to hear you say it," she responds in a way that implies I don't have a choice.
I sigh and shake my head, my eyes meeting hers. "You don't think I'd like to go to that hockey game with you? You don't think I'd like to sit in a crowd of people and not have to pretend like we don't know each other?" I pause and take a deep breath before continuing, "It would be nice to be in public with you, to actually get to look at you." I stop abruptly and turn my eyes away from her.
I can feel her staring at me and then I hear her sigh. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see her shaking her head.
"It's not fair," she says softly.
I turn my head slightly towards her.
She smiles bitterly, "I know this great guy...but my life's made it so I can only see him at certain times under certain conditions."
I avert my eyes and reply in a low voice, "If it weren't for your life, we never would have met."
She seems to consider this for a moment, before shaking her head, "Yes, we would have."
I force my eyes to meet hers and her gaze is so piercing I almost can't stand it.
She breaks the gaze, as she turns her head away from me and says in a voice barely above a whisper, "It's just really hard, that's all."
I lick my lips, as I raise my head and turn to face her completely, "It won't always be like this, Sydney. Someday, all of this will be over. I know it's hard, but what you're doing is so much greater than the both of us. So whenever you feel like you can't stand it anymore, whenever you feel like it's just too hard, remember that...And remember that someday it will all be over."
She smiles slightly and replies, "Someday."
* * *
The rest of our meeting goes per usual. I relay her countermission and we discuss the fine details.
The words spill out of my mouth automatically, my thoughts elsewhere.
I think of the day when we'll be free and I wonder if I'll make it till then. I wonder if I have the willpower, the strength, to make it.
We finish discussing the details of her counter-mission and then I nod my head, "Well, I guess I'll be going. I have a lot of work to do back at the office." I pause and then add, "Good luck."
A nod is her only response and our eyes remain locked a tad longer than necessary. I swallow hard, before bending my head and turning around.
I don't make it more than seven or eight feet before her voice stops me.
"Vaughn?"
I turn back around to face her. "Yeah?"
"You never answered my question."
I look at her for a long moment, before lowering my head and responding softly.
"No. The answer is no."
I don't meet her eyes, as I turn back around and continue on my way.
Someday, I won't have to walk away from her.
I look forward to that day.
******************************THE END***************************
Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought! ~Steph
Author: Steph (ILUVNYYANK@aol.com)
Category: Drama/Romantic overtones
Pairings: Sydney/Vaughn
POV: Vaughn
Summary: My version of the Syd/Vaughn conversation that leads to The Vaughn Line we saw in the preview for the next episode "The Coup". (Vaughn POV)
Rating: PG
Archive: Sure, just let me know where.
Spoilers: "The Box Part 1 & 2" and the upcoming "The Coup". Just bits of both.
Disclaimer: Alias and its characters do not belong tome. I do this out of a love for the show and no infringement is intended.
Note: I heard that Vaughn line in the preview and I couldn't get it out of my head. This short little thing just kind of sprung from wondering what would have lead up to that line. Hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you thought! ~Steph
* * * Someday: Part 1/1 * * *
I stand on the bridge waiting for her.
It's amazing how my whole life has become about counting down the minutes until I see her face again.
I used to watch those lame romantic comedies with Alice, where the guy professes his love and then confesses that his life began when he met the girl. He walks around the entire movie in a fog, his mind completely overtaken by thoughts of her. He says she's always on his mind.
I used to scoff at the men in those movies. I used to think that no woman could have that kind of effect on a man.
I used to think it was impossible...unrealistic...mushy movie magic.
Then I met Sydney.
And suddenly those guys in those movies became me.
She's on my mind nearly every minute of everyday. I find myself losing concentration at work because I am thinking about her.
I can't pretend that my feelings for her haven't clouded my judgment. And I'm afraid that someday that might lead to her getting hurt.
After the Cole situation, Devlin put me back on as her handler. He said it was obvious that we make a good team and that removing me would only harm the agency. In addition, he was so impressed with how I handled the situation that he chose to overlook the fact that I disobeyed orders. Well, he sort of overlooked it. I'm on probation. He realized that if it weren't for me, then Sydney and her father could have died and this branch of SD-6 could have been destroyed, which would have hindered our progress considerably. And we never would have gotten our hands on that artifact of Rambaldi's. Devlin said that he knew I was acting in the best interests of the agency and he respected that.
If he only knew.
If he only knew the motivation behind my actions.
I wanted to protect her, I wanted to keep her safe.
As soon as I picked up that gun, I knew my career might be over.
I was willing to take that risk. I was willing to risk my life...for her.
I sigh and squeeze my eyes shut, as I massage the bridge of my nose.
I have to stop thinking like this. If I stand a chance in hell of resisting her, I have to stop thinking like this.
"Hey," a voice comes from behind me.
I'd know that voice anywhere.
I turn around to face her and offer her a smile, which she returns.
"Hey."
She comes to stand by my side and we both focus our eyes on objects in the distance.
"How are things at SD-6?"
"The clean-up crew is nearly finished. Sloane's finger seems to be healing nicely."
I shake my head, "I can't believe your father cut off Sloane's finger."
"I know," she replies, her lips curling into the slightest of smiles. "How did things go with Devlin?"
I offer her a sideways glance, "Good, actually. I've been put back on as your handler, as you can probably tell from the fact that I'm standing here. I'm on probation, but my heroic efforts apparently impressed Devlin enough to overlook, for the most part, that I disobeyed orders."
I glance at her quickly, waiting for some reaction, but I notice that she's got a preoccupied look in her eyes.
I'm just about to speak, when she beats me to it, "Would you have come if it weren't me in there?"
She turns her head towards me, her eyes meeting mine.
I'm thrown by her question and I have to force my slightly ajar mouth closed.
I swallow hard. "I'm not sure I understand what you're asking."
"If it hadn't been me in there, if it had been some other agent that you handle, would you have come?"
My brow creases and I lower my eyes. "Sydney...You know I was protecting the interests of the agency. You are an invaluable asset to us. And losing this branch of SD-6 would set us back considerably."
I slowly raise my eyes up and notice that she sets her jaw. "It's a yes or no question, Vaughn."
I sigh and shake my head, "It's n-..."
"It's a simple question. Y-..."
"No, it's not," I reply sharply, cutting her off.
Her eyes dart across my face, apparently trying to read my expression. I force my gaze to focus on something off in the distance and lower my voice, "My feel...Our relationship is anything but simple, Sydney."
"Why?" she says in a tone that barely indicates it's a question.
I study her face for a moment before replying softly, "You know why."
"I'd like to hear you say it," she responds in a way that implies I don't have a choice.
I sigh and shake my head, my eyes meeting hers. "You don't think I'd like to go to that hockey game with you? You don't think I'd like to sit in a crowd of people and not have to pretend like we don't know each other?" I pause and take a deep breath before continuing, "It would be nice to be in public with you, to actually get to look at you." I stop abruptly and turn my eyes away from her.
I can feel her staring at me and then I hear her sigh. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see her shaking her head.
"It's not fair," she says softly.
I turn my head slightly towards her.
She smiles bitterly, "I know this great guy...but my life's made it so I can only see him at certain times under certain conditions."
I avert my eyes and reply in a low voice, "If it weren't for your life, we never would have met."
She seems to consider this for a moment, before shaking her head, "Yes, we would have."
I force my eyes to meet hers and her gaze is so piercing I almost can't stand it.
She breaks the gaze, as she turns her head away from me and says in a voice barely above a whisper, "It's just really hard, that's all."
I lick my lips, as I raise my head and turn to face her completely, "It won't always be like this, Sydney. Someday, all of this will be over. I know it's hard, but what you're doing is so much greater than the both of us. So whenever you feel like you can't stand it anymore, whenever you feel like it's just too hard, remember that...And remember that someday it will all be over."
She smiles slightly and replies, "Someday."
* * *
The rest of our meeting goes per usual. I relay her countermission and we discuss the fine details.
The words spill out of my mouth automatically, my thoughts elsewhere.
I think of the day when we'll be free and I wonder if I'll make it till then. I wonder if I have the willpower, the strength, to make it.
We finish discussing the details of her counter-mission and then I nod my head, "Well, I guess I'll be going. I have a lot of work to do back at the office." I pause and then add, "Good luck."
A nod is her only response and our eyes remain locked a tad longer than necessary. I swallow hard, before bending my head and turning around.
I don't make it more than seven or eight feet before her voice stops me.
"Vaughn?"
I turn back around to face her. "Yeah?"
"You never answered my question."
I look at her for a long moment, before lowering my head and responding softly.
"No. The answer is no."
I don't meet her eyes, as I turn back around and continue on my way.
Someday, I won't have to walk away from her.
I look forward to that day.
******************************THE END***************************
Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought! ~Steph