Chapter –6
It was ruled as a suicide, a self inflicted gun shot to the head. At approximately 10:43 pacific coast time. Only five minutes after he had left the chat room with Molly/Fiona. It wasn't support meetings for drug or excessive use of alcohols. He was depressed, suicidal, living on the edge of the world any moment prepared to fall in either direction. Unfortunately in the eyes of the ones that cared about him the most he made the fall in the wrong direction.
Molly curled herself up into a small ball on the loveseat sitting in front of the window. The funeral was very emotionally draining for everyone, but especially her. John had been her husbands best friend, her close convided as well, with him around Rick didn't feel so lost. Now he was gone as well. Molly blamed herself for that. Now all the signs and hints dealing with the chat was crystal clear. Molly couldn't forgive herself for being unable to forgive it out sooner. Jseawater, J for John Seawater because he lived on the coast. He knew Molly by name and many other little hints that must would never pick up on. But Molly did she was obsessed about it, not allowing who to consul her grieve. John was all she had left from that chapter of her life.
Fiona couldn't stop crying in the shock of her Papa Bear's death. It was her fault he died. She just had to be mature and act grown up not noticing that their chats shouldn't be kept secret. That he didn't help, someone with more experience with depression to help me cope. Fiona wanted to run to the police and insist she be arrested for assisted murder. It wasn't fair! Fiona could see the pain in her mother's eyes. Pain that Fiona was certain she had caused.
A week past since the funeral and then another and before anyone knew it had been 17 days since hell opened up and swallowed them whole. It was starting to become easy in some ways, in others the hurt was still fresh and not fading away. Even though it was often months between any of them hearing from him, and he further apart from actually seeing him it was still a dramatic blow. Depression over the fact he lost the ability to play the guitar was what did him in. John tried to find other interests to pursue like he had with music. Nothing was the same, nothing filled the gap. Molly was now beating herself up internally for not staying with him after the last visit and working with him until it came back. She didn't even know if it was possible for it to return, but I could of least tried, was her feelings on the matter.
It was too late. And time could never put be moved backwards. They'd have to see through the pain, guilt, anger, and a thousand other emotions and just get on with life. No matter how hard it would be.