A Gundam Christmas

By Phunkress and Litachatz4


The year is after colony 195. The wars between earth and the colonies have ended. Peace is finally on hand. As a gesture of peace Miliardo Peacecraft has allowed Treize Kushrenada to adopt his baby sister Relena Peacecraft as a daughter.

"This Christmas will be the best Christmas since we've had peace." Heero Yuy exclaimed. They were at on Oz Christmas party. The music was blaring and Duo was spiking the punch. To Duo's great happiness Wufei had stopped break dancing and was parched. He came over to the refreshment table and was disgusted by the site of all the American food. Then he saw the punch bowl. He drank it all and was surprised at its slight sour flavor. It was a few hours later when the vodka finally kicked in. When Wufei was on the table sliding along like he had oil on his butt, Lady Une walked up.

"Heya sweetcheeks!" Wufei said flirtily.

"What did you say?"

"I said, want to go somewhere quieter?"

"Oh my God! You perverted little kid!" Lady Une yelled and then she bitch slapped him. "I hope that teaches you wedge boy a lesson on hitting on someone older than you."

Wufei laughed in her face, which made Lady Une cough because the stench of his breath was so strong with vodka.

"What have you been drinking?"

"Punch, Sugar..."

"Gladly" and then she punched him.

If one listened one would hear Duo rolling on the ground with laughter. "And… the… best…part…I... got…it …all…on…tape." Duo said through his extreme laughter. When Trowa came he saw Duo then, though he had never had the experience before, started to smile. When he did everyone was quiet (except, of course, Wufei who was laughing like a hyena.) because it was a disturbing and unusual sight. When Trowa stopped smiling the music continued and so did the talk. Lady Une continued to punch Wufei and everything was normal.

"Relena."

"Heero."

"Relena?"

"Heero."

"Re-Len-a?"

"Heero?"

"What the heck are we saying? Why do you always say my name when I say yours?"

"Heero."

"Stop it or I'll really kill you this time."

"Heero."

"Aghhhhhh!"

"Heero? I'm Lonny."

"So am I dear."

"Hey Heero? Want some punch?" Duo, who had come over asked.

"Duo, shut up."

"Fine then. Good bye." Duo said cheerfully.

"Well Relena, do you want to go to doctor J and see if we can bring a child of ours into the world from the UN-born?"

"Yeah, sure. Let's go."

"Great." And then they left.

"Umm…Heero?"

"What?"

"Shouldn't we get married or something before having a kid together?"

"Ewwww…God no. I don't want to marry you."

"Heero Yuy…You are a sick little pervert."

"No…No I didn't mean it like that."

Silence.

"Well then what did you mean?"

"Doctor J has cloning machine and I wanted to see what our kid would look like if we had one. I'm bored and I didn't want to try Duo's vodka/punch/coca cola/orange juice/blended pizza drink."

Relena sniffs.

Meanwhile…

"Golly is it cold out here or what?" Quatre said while trudging through the snow. "Why did they make ME go out and get another punch mix because Duo ruined the first?"

Little did Quatre know but Wufei had been thrown out of the party because he was too drunk.

Hidden in the shadows Wufei lurked, a barrage of snowballs at his feet waiting for the right moment when an unwary passerby walked near him. That moment came when Quatre walked back to Treize's mansion carrying the punch mix.

"AIIIIIIIII" Wufei yelled his war call and sprang out of the bushes in a drunken rage.

"AKK! What the heck? Wufei what are you doing here? You stupid person! Why did you throw those snowballs at me?" Quatre yelled into the darkness because Wufei had slunk into the shadows again.

"Hee hee. I will never tell."

Quatre starts his weasel laugh and says "Oh, well you want to die today Wufei? I believe you do since you threw snowballs at me."

"No I do not want to die."

:: Quatre pulls out a gun:: "then come quietly and get inside."

"Hee hee. Only if I can wear a Santa suit. I never wore a Santa suit."

That is when Quatre was scared. He started to back away from Wufei but it was unnecessary because Wufei had run off in search of a Santa suit.

"Geez, that guy is one weird wedge boy." Duo had crept up and was as white as a ghost.

"What happened to you?" Quatre asked inquiringly.

"Oh, I saw Wufei ask for a Santa suit and Trowa laugh. This has been one weird night."

"Trowa laughed? Oh my gosh, they could put that on the X-files! It's weird and unusual enough anyway." Quatre was shivering from the thought that Trowa had laughed.

Meanwhile at the lab of doctor J:

"Umm…. Doctor J?" Heero called into the dark.

"Person with a weird hand?" Relena echoed.

"Relena, his name is doctor J."

"Well why didn't you say so?"

Then as Heero looked around for his mentor, he saw a note.

(Reading aloud)"Heero, my cloning machine is in the back, don't ruin your appetite at the Christmas party, I will have dinner early tonight, Tuna casserole with pumpkin juice."

:: Relena shivers::

"Now that is weird. Heero and Relena where really excited about opening their secret Santa presents." Trowa said.

"Where did they say they were going?" Duo asks looking at the huge pile of Christmas presents. "Hey who did you get for your Secret Santa?"

"Well when we first pulled out of the hat I got Relena…but then Heero traded me her for Noin." Trowa answered.

"Huh…I thought he liked her."

" What do you mean?"

"Heero said he didn't have any money for he hoped he would get someone he didn't like."

"Huh." Trowa said sipping some punch then realizing that it was the old punch that Duo goofed with and spit it out on the floor.

"Trowa that's really gross now you have to clean it up." Cathy bitch slapped her brother.

"I'm getting really tired of you doing that." Trowa said…suggesting that the punch had already gotten to his brain.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup." Trowa said and he tried slapping her but missed.

"Trowa?"

"CA-THER-N. Tee hee…it sounds like the word cat. Hey I'm going to go change into my clown pants…" Trowa runs up to his room and takes the clown pants and runs back out.

"Clown pants…clown pants…I love my clown pants. I love my clown mask too and I love my sister except when she hits me…because it really hurts. I love my gundam heavy arms, especially when it makes me apple pie. I love that too. Apple pie, apple eye, hee hee, that would be a good halloween costume. Watch out little girlies, here comes apples eye to pull your hair and take your shoes. Speaking of shoes I need some new ones, m where is a shoe store, not just a shoe store, one of them that's in the fashion magazines. I wanna be prepared if I ever loose my clothes and need to wear a raincoat naked, mm red pumps, that's my thing."

"Trowa?"

"huh? What Quatre?"

"How much punch did you have?"

"That's a funny word…Pun-chh…Pun-Chh. Say it with me…Pun-chh. Pun-chh."

"I hope we can get Heero drunk too. Then we can all watch the movie tomorrow when they're over the hangover." Duo smiled.

"Hey guys we've going to play spin the bottle now." Noin said finishing up a bottle of wine and putting the bottle on the floor.

"Why?"

"Because Zechs really wants to." Noin said giggling.

"Maybe later…I want to go see Treize's new car first."

::Duo picked up his pack-back that was in the corner and took out some silly string and a carton of eggs.::