In the beginning, the Goddesses said, "Let there be light." And there was. And it was good. But, by the Triforce, it was too damn bright.

…Oww…

Amber eyes flashed open before the owner hissed and quickly shut them again, the bright glare of the sun though the window burned into his retinas. His head hurt. It hurt a lot. Like he'd been beaten over the head with a shovel a few times while one of those fabled redeads made a lovely meal for itself by flaying his brain.

What…What had happened? What had he done to deserve this? Laughter that had long sense died down echoed though his mind like a half-remembered dream. The smell of whisky and cheap perfume. The hard grainy surface of a table underneath his cheek. Roaring, drunken, illiterate laughter mingling with fizzing bubbles. And blue eyes…Blue eyes? Who did he know that had blue eyes? The blue faded to bloody red clouds that darkened into the light that managed to pierce though his eyelids. Somehow, over the haze and the confusion and the gnawing in the back of his brain, one thought and one thought alone managed to break though the clouds to smack him in the face and make him growl with agitation and regret.

The Hylian. Damn him.

…Hang over hang over… chanted an antagonizing little imaginary imp in the back of his mind in a singsong voice, Hang over hang over! Ganny's gotta HANG OVER!

"Shut up…" he mumbled to himself, incoherent and hoarse. His throat ached and his mouth carried a nasty taste and a revolting stench. He must have thrown up somewhere along the line, and frankly felt like he was going to do it again.

He knew he had to get up, might as well have been then. He opened his eyes very slowly, like approaching an enemy from behind to spring upon at the last moment. It was then that his enemy saw him and stabbed him in the eyes with lances of light. Ignoring the pain, he tentatively rose from the bed, the white cotton sheets twisted between his legs. It was not his bed. He had on no clothes save for his underwear. Not a good sign. He'd have to figure it out later. Surely the redead was adding some sort of acidic marinating sauce for sitting up, since now his headache was bad enough to drive him to the brink of insanity.

With a sigh he swung his bare legs over the side of the bed and winced as he found the wood floor unbearably cold. It woke him up a bit. He looked about him for a moment or two. He was in a quaint little room, very few furnishings but cozy and inviting none the less. He had woken up here many times before. His clothes were folded in a neat and orderly stack atop a clap-board dresser. He'd tend to them later. His sword was missing from its proper rack on the wall, he hoped and prayed that the Hylian hadn't pawned it. With a grunt and an amazing amount of effort, he rose, though slightly disoriented. He righted himself with a chair before continuing.

He opened the door to find himself in another room. It was a spacious room. Living room, kitchen, dining room all-in-one. It was a nice place really. The whole apartment was nice. Two bedrooms, one of which he had just wandered out of. The view wasn't much to behold, through the windows and their curtains of white linen one could see the bustling market below. Of course, he had taken this in before hand from previous visits. At the moment his soul objective was to make it to a small closet-like room at the opposite end of the room.

The Hylian capital city was really a marvel to him. It was a very technologically advanced city by his standards. One such advancement was the development of indoor toilets. Wastes were dropped down a chute and down to an underground swift-running stream that whisked the contents off to…off to somewhere, probably somewhere he didn't want to be. But it was not really the technology behind the indoor toilet that interested him at the moment, its simple existence was enough. He flung open the door to the foul-smelling room and, on all fours, embraced this porcelain goddess and promptly paid his respects.

The retching reached the aristocratically pointed ears of James, the owner of the modest little apartment just outside of the Market. He looked up from his book to see a very tall and well built nineteen-year-old in his underwear with dark skin and a thick mane of nearly untamable red hair hunched over his toilet, firmly toned buttocks facing in his general direction.

"Hey there, Ganny."

The man paused briefly to glance over his shoulder. 'Ganny,' more commonly known as Ganondorf (formal) or Ganon (informal), took one look at the knight with the chestnut hair and the mockingly cheerful blue gaze, glared back coldly with piercing hawk-like golden eyes, flashed him a one-fingered salute and resumed his previous agenda.

"Mornin' to you too, sunshine…" James chuckled and went back to his book.

Some minutes later the disgusting, guttural noises ceased and James looked up to see the man leaning heavily on the doorframe and toweling off the lower portion of his face and the light perspiration on his forehead. He caught the Hylian looking at him and then pointed accusingly at him.

"This is all your fault," He growled, then flicked a dark red lock of hair out of his face that had escaped its tie.

"Howd'ya figure?" asked James lightheartedly. He, unlike many, was a morning person. Truly annoying.

"You got me drunk off my ass. Aside from my father, you're possibly the most sadistic man I've ever met." He fixed him with a stern gaze. Others may not have been able to see it, but from being around the male Gerudo for so long, James could tell that he was inwardly ginning from ear to ear.

He gave a shrug of weak apology, grinning. "Hey, I didn't know you couldn't hold your liquor worth shit…"

The hung-over one snorted. "It wasn't that. I'm thinking Goron ale shouldn't be used for anything aside from medicinal purposes…" He reached the counter where he found a tall class of some sort of syrupy brown liquid that had been set out for him. He silted back his head and let the substance slide down his throat, trying his best not to taste it. It was nasty, yes, made him want to go back to that dark little room, but it made the throbbing in his brain subside to a dull ache in a matter of seconds. He set it back down with a shudder. "Thanks."

James shrugged and went back to his book. Ganon sat down beside him on the couch, rather tensely on the edge with his hands on his knees. He found it odd that James was here at all. He usually left early in the morning with his duties and didn't return till late in the evening; when they alternatively paid for dinner at an inn or pub somewhere. It was nearly noon.

"Shouldn't you be off doing some sort of valiant, courageous, knightly thing?"

"I let you sleep in without putting your hand in a bowl of warm water, isn't that enough?"

"Good point…What happened last night anyway?"

James, again, was interrupted as he looked up. "You don't remember?" the Gerudo shook his head, "You got sloshed, what more is there to say? It was a wild night down at the bar, 'shame you can't remember though…"

"What happened?" Ganon asked once more, slightly more insistent, though wary of the answer.

"Well…there were a lot of women, they kept trying to haul you to the loft upstairs, wanted a little 'dark meat' as I understand it…" Ganon visibly blanched, staring at the Hylian with a mix of disbelief and disgust. Again, he became painfully aware that he was dressed only in his underwear, and still had no clue as to how he had gotten that way.

"I didn't…?"

"Shag anyone? Nah, I got you away."

He sighed, relaxing, relieved that he couldn't have unintentionally gotten someone pregnant. The last thing anyone needed was a half-ling anyway, the child would have been rejected by both races. "Thanks. But that still doesn't explain why I woke up with no clothes--"

"Oh, sorry, that was me, didn't want you to get them all messy when you got up," responded a soft, feminine voice from his right.

Ganon jerked his head around to find a small and very slender, very attractive young woman with large brown eyes and hair of spun gold standing in the doorway of the adjacent room. Pretty little thing. But for the life of him, he couldn't seem to recall her name. Terry? Mary? Sherri? Carrie? He was pretty sure it ended with a 'ree.' Unfortunately, he had long since branded her simply as "James' whore." It wasn't far from the truth, indeed James' new girlfriend was a prostitute, but she really was quite a lovely woman. He felt terrible for not even remembering her name.

"Good morning, Ganondorf," she chirped politely, even adding a little curtsy, holding her shorter-then-average skirt at the hem.

The young prince flushed red with embarrassment. It didn't matter with James, they were both men, but there he was sitting in his underwear, legs wide open--with a woman staring at him! Without another thought he hurriedly excused himself and made a mad dash for his room, nearly slamming the door behind him.

James' girlfriend/prostitute shook her head, smiling and took the vacated seat beside the knight. "He's funny."

James nodded in agreement. "A little confused, but he's a good guy, ain't no one else I'd rather be friends with."

"It's not often someone can find friends in high places."

"No, I don't suppose, but he doesn't really act like a prince or anything. Just like any other guy."

She made a soft noise that could more or less be interpreted any way one wished. "But wasn't there a treaty signed that forbids Gerudos to enter Hyrule?" He snorted slightly.

"Harnikin's a pacifist. He doesn't give a damn, he even met with him once. He'll go home when he feels like it."

She leaned against him, resting her head on his strong shoulder. "Why did you take off today?"

"I thought we could do something together today, if you don't mind." he said quietly, kissing her softly on the forehead.

She giggled, drawing closer. "What did you have in mind, pray tell?"

"Little of this, little of that."

Her eyes flickered to the closed door to their left. "What about your friend?"

He chuckled, "Don't worry. I've arranged a little…entertainment to keep him occupied for a while…"

"Oh? What would that be?" She looked him in the eyes, brown meeting blue.

Before he could answer, there was a very loud bang on the door. The entire place was then silent, aside from a mumbled curse in Gerudo from the back room. Confused and puzzled, she got up, walking swiftly to the door to the apartment. She opened the latch but did not remove the chain then peeked outside. She found a pair of female Gerudo there in full warrior regalia, looking very stern.

"Where's Ganon?" the one closest one to the door demanded, hands jauntily placed on her hips. The young Hylian smiled politely.

"I'll go fetch him. Would you mind waiting a moment?"

The Gerudo looked at her crossly, but nodded. "Alright, hurry up."

She smiled once more then closed the door quietly. When she turned around, her smile had a bit of a mischievous quality to it when she looked to James, who was on his hands and knees, pulling something out from underneath the couch. "You really are cruel."

When he came up again, he was holding something. "Yeah, well, they don't call me a Hylian Knight for nothing."

It was Ganon's sword. A scimitar to be exact. A powerful thing it was, especially in the hands of its master, five inches at it's thickest point and nine pounds of finely honed blackened steel. To James, the Gerudo male had never seemed like a warrior. But just to try him out once, they had a mock sword battle. The knight had been out-skilled and over powered and the horrible realization kicked in that Ganondorf could kill him should he ever have a whim to. Goddesses forbid he would have to fight him for real one day. It was that reason that James hid the sword, just to be sure that a very sick and disgruntled Gerudo couldn't shove it up his ass when he woke up.

He winked then rushed silently to the backroom where Ganon was hastily tugging on his boots. He was very partial to black; black shirt, black pants, black boots, all in Hylian cut.

"It's my sisters," he hissed as the knight appeared on the scene. "I saw their horses." James handed him his blade and with a murmur of thanks he tucked it into his boot. As silently as he could, the Gerudo lifted the window pane to a narrow ledge outside. "How could they have possibly known I was here?"

James sighed slightly, the man already had one foot out the window. "Probably saw you last night, we went to a lot of places."

"I wasn't here."

"They won't believe me."

"Then tell them the truth! Just keep them occupied. Where did you stable my horse?"

"Downstairs. You gonna lay low for a while?" He nodded grimly. "Alright, brother, don't get yourself killed out there, there's still girls waitin' for you 'round here."

Ganon flashed him a weak smile then crept out the window with some difficulty, considering his size. However, once he was on the ledge, he moved with a panther-like grace. From inside he could hear the knight greet them with a "Well, hello there ladies!" while James' whore timidly offered them some tea. By the time the two distraught Gerudo women had pushed past the seemingly insolent villagers, reached Ganon's room and looked out the open window; he was long gone, escaped down a water drain and to the cobblestone streets below…