Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne or any of the characters which is
probably a good thing or they would all be REALLY screwy. SO DON'T SUE ME!
I don't own Lord of the Rings or anything in the books or movie. SO NO SUE
ESCAGURLIE!
31's company
So here was most of the Escaflowne cast, standing there and all of a sudden, thirteen strangly attired people (well, so to speak) popped out of thin air. Once the hot elfy man had finished his screaming, they all stared at one another. In the newly arrived posse, there was a short, squat, burly looking dwarf with a long, reddish brown, frizzly beard, four brown haired hobbits, one of which was fiddling with something in his pocket. One of the other hobbits noticed this.
" OY! Stop that, Frodo!" He said as he whapped the other hobbits hand.
" oooooowwwwww!" the young, blue-eyed halfling whined
After that little scene, our original cast set to staring at the others again. Carrying on, there were two men. Both had shoulder length brown hair. The one with the darker brown hair was wearing a weather beaten, dark coloured tunic thing and a dark green cloak. The other was attired also in a dark tunic thing, but it was better kept. he also wore the dark green cloak. Next, there were two wizards. One was wearing long, white, pretty robes and he had a long white beard and girly hands. The other was dressed in a grey travelling cloak and wore a wide brimmed, grey hat. He also had a long white beard. Both had staffs that had a little gem or stone set in the top. Then there was a little bluish green creature who was cringing on the ground muttering. All the Esca cast could catch were the words 'precious', 'fish' and 'baggins' along with the occasional 'gollum'. He had large, googly eyes and looked as though he hadn't had a bite in months. Next there were three, tall elves. The first one had long, brown hair which was brought up in a kind of half ponytail (y'know the things I'm talking about). He wore long, earthy coloured robes that had lots of intricate designs on them. The next elf was the only female in their group. She had shoulder length brown hair and wore a floaty, purple dress with beads in it. The very last member of this group was a very attractive, blonde elf. He was tall and had gorgeous chestnut eyes and perfect skin. He wore a green tunic and the same dark green cloak the men wore. Except it looked ten times better on him.;). He had a long bow and a quiver of arrows behind his back. ooooohhh he was gorgeous! Millerna, Hitomi, the cat twins, and Merle were all drooling at the sight of him. He looked all nervous and his keen eyes were darting all over the place. Everyone was still just staring at the members of the opposite party. The blonde hottie took a deep breath.
" WHAT THE HELL?!?!"
This snapped everyone out of their trance.
" who, or what ARE you guys!!!" Van yelled.
" Well, from what I can see," said Folken " That stout fellow with the beard is a dwarf, Those short guys are hobbits, Those two taller dark guys are men, the two robed, white bearded fellows are wizards, the three taller ones with the good hair are elves and THAT," he said, pointing at the gollum creature " is a...a-a.....a.. Thing."
All the Escaflowne characters stared at him and backed away.
" WHAT THE HELL!!!! WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?????????? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!!!! WHAT-THE-HELL!!!!!!!" screamed the blonde elf
Allen stepped forward. " you, my friend with the good hair, are on the planet Gaea and we are people who live here."
"oh..........." he said in response
" Let me introduce our group." said the grey wizard " I am Gandalf, this other wizard here is the bimbo, Saruman, these four hobbits go by the names of Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin. The two men are Aragorn and Boromir, the elves go by the names of Elrond, Arwen and Legolas, and this creature-thing here is gollum." then he whispered " He's a little......you know...loopy. One too many times with The Ring on his finger......"
All the Esca people were very confused. Where did these people come from? How did they get here? What was The Ring? When were they gonna have lunch?
Dilandau stepped forward. " What is this Ring you speak of?"
Folken turned to him. "hmmmmmmm...if I recall correctly, this Ring, he speaks of, is the One Ring. Forged from the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord, Sauron created it many years ago to gain complete control over the world. But he lost it and it was found by this little fellow here." he said, pointing to Gollum. " The ring took over Gollum until one day, it betrayed him and a hobbit who is not present here, by the name of Bilbo Baggins, found it."
Now this did not only freak out the Escaflowne cast, but also the Lord of the Rings cast. But I'd say it freaked out the Ring cast the most. This was made clear when Boromir lunged forward and tackled Folken.
" How do you know so much about the Ring? HOW! howhowhowhowhowhowhow! Tell me! tellmetellmetellme! Are you all spies of the Dark Lord? AAGH! They're out to ge us!Run! Rn for your lives! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! homina-homina-homina-homina-homina-" he gabbled on as Folken cally picked up the freaked out, still 'homina'ing man and gently dropped him aside.
" Actually, I dunno how I know so much! I just do! After all, I AM a dark, mysterious genius!" He smiled.
" AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" screamed Dilandau and the slayers. " he made a face again! He made a face!! AAAAAAAGH!!"
Now the Ring cast was thoroughly frightened and they all started drawing their weapons. Legolas aimed his bow. Argorn drew his sword. Gandalf and Saruman raised their staffs. Boromir also drew his sword, as did the hobbits. Gollum just shrank back into the shadows. Elrond didn't need swords or bows. He had his super karate kick!!!!! Arwen was too much of a sissy to bring a weapon. She whimpered and hid behind Aragorn.
At that moment, all the Esca people stopped running around screaming and stared at the Ring cast.
" YAGH!!!!!" yelled Allen and they all drew their swords.
So both groups lept together and started fighting. Except Legolas. He lowered his bow and stared at Arwen who was still cowering behind the Ranger. Then Dallet came up behind her and killed her. "oh well. Never really liked her anyway." He thought whilst shrugging. Then he noticed Dryden who was skittering around in the back. He walked up to Legolas. He started crawling on him and examining his bow.
"oooooohhhhhhhh......this would sell nicely!"
So Legolas wocked him off his head and onto the ground. Then he shot him. Dryden died. mwhahahahahaha.
"mwhahahahahahaha........" laughed Legolas
Then, all of a sudden, the Lord of the Rings people noticed Arwen was dead and the Esca people noticed Dryden was dead. They all cheered. Except Millerna who I wish had died instead. She screamed and ran up to him.
"OH NO!!" she sobbed. then stopped " Oh Allen! Its so tragic! oh boo hoo!!!"
She then hopped into his arms where he promptly dropped her.
" oops" he said
Then Dilandau straightened up and yelled.
" I'M HUNGRY! I WANT LUNCH!!!!!!!!!"
" oh goody!" said Pippin. " at least THESE people know what lunch is!"
So they all walked inside to have lunch, completely forgetting the horde of 50 foot spiders they were supposed to be hunting.
" So, whats for lunch?" asked Merry as they walked inside.
So everyone was inside, except Millerna who was examining something on the ground. It appeared to be a plain, gold ring. She slipped it on her finger while saying "oooohhhh preeetty" and with that, she walked inside, not aware of a slinking shadow behind her
End Of Chapter Four
Author's note: This chapter wasn't as funny, I don't think. Oh well......it'll get more funny. If you didn't know, it was The One Ring that Millerna found and now Gollum's stalking her. hhehehehehe....on to the next chapter!!!
31's company
So here was most of the Escaflowne cast, standing there and all of a sudden, thirteen strangly attired people (well, so to speak) popped out of thin air. Once the hot elfy man had finished his screaming, they all stared at one another. In the newly arrived posse, there was a short, squat, burly looking dwarf with a long, reddish brown, frizzly beard, four brown haired hobbits, one of which was fiddling with something in his pocket. One of the other hobbits noticed this.
" OY! Stop that, Frodo!" He said as he whapped the other hobbits hand.
" oooooowwwwww!" the young, blue-eyed halfling whined
After that little scene, our original cast set to staring at the others again. Carrying on, there were two men. Both had shoulder length brown hair. The one with the darker brown hair was wearing a weather beaten, dark coloured tunic thing and a dark green cloak. The other was attired also in a dark tunic thing, but it was better kept. he also wore the dark green cloak. Next, there were two wizards. One was wearing long, white, pretty robes and he had a long white beard and girly hands. The other was dressed in a grey travelling cloak and wore a wide brimmed, grey hat. He also had a long white beard. Both had staffs that had a little gem or stone set in the top. Then there was a little bluish green creature who was cringing on the ground muttering. All the Esca cast could catch were the words 'precious', 'fish' and 'baggins' along with the occasional 'gollum'. He had large, googly eyes and looked as though he hadn't had a bite in months. Next there were three, tall elves. The first one had long, brown hair which was brought up in a kind of half ponytail (y'know the things I'm talking about). He wore long, earthy coloured robes that had lots of intricate designs on them. The next elf was the only female in their group. She had shoulder length brown hair and wore a floaty, purple dress with beads in it. The very last member of this group was a very attractive, blonde elf. He was tall and had gorgeous chestnut eyes and perfect skin. He wore a green tunic and the same dark green cloak the men wore. Except it looked ten times better on him.;). He had a long bow and a quiver of arrows behind his back. ooooohhh he was gorgeous! Millerna, Hitomi, the cat twins, and Merle were all drooling at the sight of him. He looked all nervous and his keen eyes were darting all over the place. Everyone was still just staring at the members of the opposite party. The blonde hottie took a deep breath.
" WHAT THE HELL?!?!"
This snapped everyone out of their trance.
" who, or what ARE you guys!!!" Van yelled.
" Well, from what I can see," said Folken " That stout fellow with the beard is a dwarf, Those short guys are hobbits, Those two taller dark guys are men, the two robed, white bearded fellows are wizards, the three taller ones with the good hair are elves and THAT," he said, pointing at the gollum creature " is a...a-a.....a.. Thing."
All the Escaflowne characters stared at him and backed away.
" WHAT THE HELL!!!! WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?????????? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!!!! WHAT-THE-HELL!!!!!!!" screamed the blonde elf
Allen stepped forward. " you, my friend with the good hair, are on the planet Gaea and we are people who live here."
"oh..........." he said in response
" Let me introduce our group." said the grey wizard " I am Gandalf, this other wizard here is the bimbo, Saruman, these four hobbits go by the names of Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin. The two men are Aragorn and Boromir, the elves go by the names of Elrond, Arwen and Legolas, and this creature-thing here is gollum." then he whispered " He's a little......you know...loopy. One too many times with The Ring on his finger......"
All the Esca people were very confused. Where did these people come from? How did they get here? What was The Ring? When were they gonna have lunch?
Dilandau stepped forward. " What is this Ring you speak of?"
Folken turned to him. "hmmmmmmm...if I recall correctly, this Ring, he speaks of, is the One Ring. Forged from the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord, Sauron created it many years ago to gain complete control over the world. But he lost it and it was found by this little fellow here." he said, pointing to Gollum. " The ring took over Gollum until one day, it betrayed him and a hobbit who is not present here, by the name of Bilbo Baggins, found it."
Now this did not only freak out the Escaflowne cast, but also the Lord of the Rings cast. But I'd say it freaked out the Ring cast the most. This was made clear when Boromir lunged forward and tackled Folken.
" How do you know so much about the Ring? HOW! howhowhowhowhowhowhow! Tell me! tellmetellmetellme! Are you all spies of the Dark Lord? AAGH! They're out to ge us!Run! Rn for your lives! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! homina-homina-homina-homina-homina-" he gabbled on as Folken cally picked up the freaked out, still 'homina'ing man and gently dropped him aside.
" Actually, I dunno how I know so much! I just do! After all, I AM a dark, mysterious genius!" He smiled.
" AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" screamed Dilandau and the slayers. " he made a face again! He made a face!! AAAAAAAGH!!"
Now the Ring cast was thoroughly frightened and they all started drawing their weapons. Legolas aimed his bow. Argorn drew his sword. Gandalf and Saruman raised their staffs. Boromir also drew his sword, as did the hobbits. Gollum just shrank back into the shadows. Elrond didn't need swords or bows. He had his super karate kick!!!!! Arwen was too much of a sissy to bring a weapon. She whimpered and hid behind Aragorn.
At that moment, all the Esca people stopped running around screaming and stared at the Ring cast.
" YAGH!!!!!" yelled Allen and they all drew their swords.
So both groups lept together and started fighting. Except Legolas. He lowered his bow and stared at Arwen who was still cowering behind the Ranger. Then Dallet came up behind her and killed her. "oh well. Never really liked her anyway." He thought whilst shrugging. Then he noticed Dryden who was skittering around in the back. He walked up to Legolas. He started crawling on him and examining his bow.
"oooooohhhhhhhh......this would sell nicely!"
So Legolas wocked him off his head and onto the ground. Then he shot him. Dryden died. mwhahahahahaha.
"mwhahahahahahaha........" laughed Legolas
Then, all of a sudden, the Lord of the Rings people noticed Arwen was dead and the Esca people noticed Dryden was dead. They all cheered. Except Millerna who I wish had died instead. She screamed and ran up to him.
"OH NO!!" she sobbed. then stopped " Oh Allen! Its so tragic! oh boo hoo!!!"
She then hopped into his arms where he promptly dropped her.
" oops" he said
Then Dilandau straightened up and yelled.
" I'M HUNGRY! I WANT LUNCH!!!!!!!!!"
" oh goody!" said Pippin. " at least THESE people know what lunch is!"
So they all walked inside to have lunch, completely forgetting the horde of 50 foot spiders they were supposed to be hunting.
" So, whats for lunch?" asked Merry as they walked inside.
So everyone was inside, except Millerna who was examining something on the ground. It appeared to be a plain, gold ring. She slipped it on her finger while saying "oooohhhh preeetty" and with that, she walked inside, not aware of a slinking shadow behind her
End Of Chapter Four
Author's note: This chapter wasn't as funny, I don't think. Oh well......it'll get more funny. If you didn't know, it was The One Ring that Millerna found and now Gollum's stalking her. hhehehehehe....on to the next chapter!!!