Zix: This fic is entirerly .... fictional .... Any resemblance to any characters anywhere is fairly predictable being as I based it on a bloody game. The situation is not intended to be bare any relationship to anything ... although it probably does.
Skitz: You shut up yet?
Zix: I was but I can't just let that remark go now can I?
Skitz: Idiot.
Zix: I'm going to ignore that.
Skitz: This is set in any ff8 town - it doesn't matter. If you like, review and want more then Zix will write more.
Zix: Actually I probably will anyway but I'll be more motivated to do it. So here it is, the one nobody has been waiting for being as this is my first ever fic, ALCOHOL AND GRAPEFRUITS: GRAPEFRUITES SOON TO COME!!!
Irvine began to grin, "Now what I really need is a ... a ... a ... thing!" Zell having just taking a swig of Fosters snorted in amusement and the froth came out of his nose. He stood bent over double coughing up the alcohol.
"Piss heads!! Fucking Piss heads!!" A passer-by yelled. Squall fell over.
"Alcohol! Helping ugly people get laid!" Zell shouted back, then joined Irvine and Squall arse in the dust.
"I'm happy!!!!!!!!"
"Your drunk Squall"
"Yeah you are Squall," Irvine piped in when Squall started violently shaking his head, "You're never this much fun if you're not out of your head."
Squall shook his head again. "No I'm not 'coz I can remememememba every little thing thatssss 'appened. Firs of all we wenta Dollet an Irvyine got drunk..."
"Bollocks!!" the accused drunk screamed and went rummaging round in the bag for a bottle opener.
"Then we flu to Esta an' had sex."
Zell stopped attempting to down the bottle of vodka and looked interested and worried at the same time. So far what his esteemed commander had been saying was utter crap but depending on who they'd 'had' sex with, he might stick to this story. "Who with?"
"Loadsa women. Outnumbered us a a a 'undred to one they did! Still lads, we 'ad 'em all!! Then we went back to Balum 'n' Rinoa was allll mad. Then I told 'er 'Shut up an' screw me Bitch!' So she did. It was fun."
Irvine in attempting to blow the froth of his ninth bottle of Fosters got alcohol in his eye and had started screaming. Zell, forgetting that he had his gloves on, girly slapped him and made Irvine go to sleep. Squall kicked him in the more sensitive area and he woke up again.
"That hurt." (you can really tell the author isn't a guy can't you? Shall I try that again? Okay then.)
Irvine in attempting to blow the froth of his ninth bottle of Fosters got alcohol in his eye and had started screaming. Zell, forgetting that he had his gloves on, girly slapped him and made Irvine go to sleep. Squall kicked him in the more sensitive area and he woke up again.
"Nurk!!" Irvine grunted whilst trying to pull his legs into his own torso. Squall vaguely wondered what the problem was. Then he realised he had Seifer's steel toe-capped boots on. (What was squall doing wearing Seifer's shoes I hear you cry. Imagine. For those innocents they could have made friends, for the rest of you....well)
"That had to hurt." Zell now appeared to be the only member of the group to be able to string a complete sentence together being as Squall was smashed and Irvine's nuts were. "How long have you been drinking Squall?"
"Since 3."
"It's been longer than an hour. Oh you mean since this afternoon? That explains a lot." Was what Zell was half way through saying before someone (himself) let off a massive fart and he burst out laughing.
"What are we doing now then?" Asked Irvine when the laughter had subsided and his nuts weren't as painful.
"Lyin on the floor you idiot!"
"Nah nah. What d'you wanna do now?"
"........."
"Irvine"
"Yeah Zell"
"I think Squall's gone into 'melancholy stage'"
"Bugger"
"How are we gonna solve it?"
"...give me your socks"
"What're you gonna do?"
"Go behind that bush, I don't think Squall's gonna run off, they don't usually and Squall's usually down. He'll probably be catot ... cats ...catatonia???"
"Catatonic"
"That's the bugger. I'm going now. You come to."
2 minutes later......
"And introducing the one, the only Miss Cowgirrrlll!!" Zell drawled as Irvine came out from bush. He had his coat wrapped over his head in a bad imitation of a wig. He had taken of his shirt so only his purple waistcoat 'filled out' by socks covered his torso. He looked like a tall man dressed in drag, badly. This of course was exactly what he was.
"Shit he's asleep. You can dress normally now man."
"Do I have to?" Irvine replied giggling. "Listen shall we screw round with Squall?" he said braneshing a pair of handcuffs.
"...... er ...... I'm not really like that and the guy's all"
"Not like that."
"What you got handcuffs for?"
"I was a little Boy Scout. Always prepared. Now are we gonna strip him to his pants and handcuff him to a tree or not?"
Zix: So what do you think? Please review. I don't mind criticism as long as it's constructive.
Skitz: Yes you do, you'll cry about it.
Zix: ......... MEANIE!! Waaaaaaaa!!!
Skitz: You shut up yet?
Zix: I was but I can't just let that remark go now can I?
Skitz: Idiot.
Zix: I'm going to ignore that.
Skitz: This is set in any ff8 town - it doesn't matter. If you like, review and want more then Zix will write more.
Zix: Actually I probably will anyway but I'll be more motivated to do it. So here it is, the one nobody has been waiting for being as this is my first ever fic, ALCOHOL AND GRAPEFRUITS: GRAPEFRUITES SOON TO COME!!!
Irvine began to grin, "Now what I really need is a ... a ... a ... thing!" Zell having just taking a swig of Fosters snorted in amusement and the froth came out of his nose. He stood bent over double coughing up the alcohol.
"Piss heads!! Fucking Piss heads!!" A passer-by yelled. Squall fell over.
"Alcohol! Helping ugly people get laid!" Zell shouted back, then joined Irvine and Squall arse in the dust.
"I'm happy!!!!!!!!"
"Your drunk Squall"
"Yeah you are Squall," Irvine piped in when Squall started violently shaking his head, "You're never this much fun if you're not out of your head."
Squall shook his head again. "No I'm not 'coz I can remememememba every little thing thatssss 'appened. Firs of all we wenta Dollet an Irvyine got drunk..."
"Bollocks!!" the accused drunk screamed and went rummaging round in the bag for a bottle opener.
"Then we flu to Esta an' had sex."
Zell stopped attempting to down the bottle of vodka and looked interested and worried at the same time. So far what his esteemed commander had been saying was utter crap but depending on who they'd 'had' sex with, he might stick to this story. "Who with?"
"Loadsa women. Outnumbered us a a a 'undred to one they did! Still lads, we 'ad 'em all!! Then we went back to Balum 'n' Rinoa was allll mad. Then I told 'er 'Shut up an' screw me Bitch!' So she did. It was fun."
Irvine in attempting to blow the froth of his ninth bottle of Fosters got alcohol in his eye and had started screaming. Zell, forgetting that he had his gloves on, girly slapped him and made Irvine go to sleep. Squall kicked him in the more sensitive area and he woke up again.
"That hurt." (you can really tell the author isn't a guy can't you? Shall I try that again? Okay then.)
Irvine in attempting to blow the froth of his ninth bottle of Fosters got alcohol in his eye and had started screaming. Zell, forgetting that he had his gloves on, girly slapped him and made Irvine go to sleep. Squall kicked him in the more sensitive area and he woke up again.
"Nurk!!" Irvine grunted whilst trying to pull his legs into his own torso. Squall vaguely wondered what the problem was. Then he realised he had Seifer's steel toe-capped boots on. (What was squall doing wearing Seifer's shoes I hear you cry. Imagine. For those innocents they could have made friends, for the rest of you....well)
"That had to hurt." Zell now appeared to be the only member of the group to be able to string a complete sentence together being as Squall was smashed and Irvine's nuts were. "How long have you been drinking Squall?"
"Since 3."
"It's been longer than an hour. Oh you mean since this afternoon? That explains a lot." Was what Zell was half way through saying before someone (himself) let off a massive fart and he burst out laughing.
"What are we doing now then?" Asked Irvine when the laughter had subsided and his nuts weren't as painful.
"Lyin on the floor you idiot!"
"Nah nah. What d'you wanna do now?"
"........."
"Irvine"
"Yeah Zell"
"I think Squall's gone into 'melancholy stage'"
"Bugger"
"How are we gonna solve it?"
"...give me your socks"
"What're you gonna do?"
"Go behind that bush, I don't think Squall's gonna run off, they don't usually and Squall's usually down. He'll probably be catot ... cats ...catatonia???"
"Catatonic"
"That's the bugger. I'm going now. You come to."
2 minutes later......
"And introducing the one, the only Miss Cowgirrrlll!!" Zell drawled as Irvine came out from bush. He had his coat wrapped over his head in a bad imitation of a wig. He had taken of his shirt so only his purple waistcoat 'filled out' by socks covered his torso. He looked like a tall man dressed in drag, badly. This of course was exactly what he was.
"Shit he's asleep. You can dress normally now man."
"Do I have to?" Irvine replied giggling. "Listen shall we screw round with Squall?" he said braneshing a pair of handcuffs.
"...... er ...... I'm not really like that and the guy's all"
"Not like that."
"What you got handcuffs for?"
"I was a little Boy Scout. Always prepared. Now are we gonna strip him to his pants and handcuff him to a tree or not?"
Zix: So what do you think? Please review. I don't mind criticism as long as it's constructive.
Skitz: Yes you do, you'll cry about it.
Zix: ......... MEANIE!! Waaaaaaaa!!!