Chapter two Alcohol and Grapefruits: Again, no grapefruits yet
Zix: This fic is entirerly .... fictional .... Any resemblance to any characters anywhere is fairly predictable being as I based it on a bloody game. The situation is not intended to be bare any relationship to anything ... although it probably does.
Skitz: What the hell are you playing at?
Zix: (looks guilty) Nothing ... Okay so maybe I was. What about it? You've done it lots of times!! I've heard you!!
Skitz: You can't post a chapter this short!!! And after so long!! You've only written two fics, it'll kill your career!!
Zix: What?? You mean I should get paid for doing this? And anyway, you wouldn't let me!!
Skitz: No, you're not good enough, or consistent. I'll cover the management side of things anyway. You people! Yes YOU!! the one reading this!! Give good reviews else the Zix gets it!!
Squall began to wake up from the stream of unconsciousness that can only be provided by alcohol. He mused for a while what he, Irvine and Zell had done after an all might bender. Nope. Nothing immediately sprang to mind although he did remember having sex. Lots of sex. Lots of sex with lots of different women.
Can't have been a bad night then, can it?
He pulled down his hands for the morning ritual and discovered that they really didn't want to come down. More than that his wrists hurt as he tried harder. Great. How was he supposed to rub the sleep out of his eyes now?
More of an immediate problem, what was keeping his hands up behind his head? It felt like ... metal. He shook his head and tried to wake up, he knew what these were, he'd worn them before. If he could only remember...
Handcuffs!!
Now handcuffs; he did not remember handcuffs. Must have been after he'd spanked Rinoa ... and Quistis ... and Xu ... and Selphie ... and ... Ellone? Man that's incest. But back to the more immediate problem (hey, what's wrong with webbed feet anyway?) were they the kind Squall was used to? The cheap ones that chafed from the FH sex shop that had a mannequin that looked just like Irvine; the really lifelike one that seemed to blink and move when his back was turned. Yep they were. There was the unlocking mechanism. He stood up and adjusted his spiderman boxers.
Well come on, I know it's cheating but it's not my fault Rinoa always forgets about it. I do need to pee on occasion! Stop lookin at me like that u big mean tree...hang on...what the bloody hell is a tree doing in the master suit?
Oh shit, where am I?
He paused, and then, as any self respecting man that couldn't find a beer would do, went and pissed in the place he'd just thrown up. Some strange, ancient, biological urge brought up the idea "let's go find a fig leaf" but Squall disregarded the idea, partly because he didn't know what a fig leaf was, mainly because he didn't know what he'd do with it. After hanging around long enough to determine some food wasn't going to suddenly appear from the air he headed off.
Off to find his friends
Off to find food
Off to find some paracetamal...paretsetemal...pain killers
And ... hopefully, off to find some trousers.
Skitz: Morning ritual. Bet you had them all going there for a minute.
Zix: What do you mean by that?
Skitz: Bloody hell. You really don't have a clue what I'm on about do you? You wrote all those... those... innuendoes but don't have a clue what they mean.
Zix: What's an inyouendoh? *shrug* Sorry for taking so long everybody. Not a bad difference between 3 weeks and 7 months is there? I had exams and Skitz found something she liked doing more than bullying me.
Skitz: I'm being creative!!
Zix: You're making a bloody row!
Zix: This fic is entirerly .... fictional .... Any resemblance to any characters anywhere is fairly predictable being as I based it on a bloody game. The situation is not intended to be bare any relationship to anything ... although it probably does.
Skitz: What the hell are you playing at?
Zix: (looks guilty) Nothing ... Okay so maybe I was. What about it? You've done it lots of times!! I've heard you!!
Skitz: You can't post a chapter this short!!! And after so long!! You've only written two fics, it'll kill your career!!
Zix: What?? You mean I should get paid for doing this? And anyway, you wouldn't let me!!
Skitz: No, you're not good enough, or consistent. I'll cover the management side of things anyway. You people! Yes YOU!! the one reading this!! Give good reviews else the Zix gets it!!
Squall began to wake up from the stream of unconsciousness that can only be provided by alcohol. He mused for a while what he, Irvine and Zell had done after an all might bender. Nope. Nothing immediately sprang to mind although he did remember having sex. Lots of sex. Lots of sex with lots of different women.
Can't have been a bad night then, can it?
He pulled down his hands for the morning ritual and discovered that they really didn't want to come down. More than that his wrists hurt as he tried harder. Great. How was he supposed to rub the sleep out of his eyes now?
More of an immediate problem, what was keeping his hands up behind his head? It felt like ... metal. He shook his head and tried to wake up, he knew what these were, he'd worn them before. If he could only remember...
Handcuffs!!
Now handcuffs; he did not remember handcuffs. Must have been after he'd spanked Rinoa ... and Quistis ... and Xu ... and Selphie ... and ... Ellone? Man that's incest. But back to the more immediate problem (hey, what's wrong with webbed feet anyway?) were they the kind Squall was used to? The cheap ones that chafed from the FH sex shop that had a mannequin that looked just like Irvine; the really lifelike one that seemed to blink and move when his back was turned. Yep they were. There was the unlocking mechanism. He stood up and adjusted his spiderman boxers.
Well come on, I know it's cheating but it's not my fault Rinoa always forgets about it. I do need to pee on occasion! Stop lookin at me like that u big mean tree...hang on...what the bloody hell is a tree doing in the master suit?
Oh shit, where am I?
He paused, and then, as any self respecting man that couldn't find a beer would do, went and pissed in the place he'd just thrown up. Some strange, ancient, biological urge brought up the idea "let's go find a fig leaf" but Squall disregarded the idea, partly because he didn't know what a fig leaf was, mainly because he didn't know what he'd do with it. After hanging around long enough to determine some food wasn't going to suddenly appear from the air he headed off.
Off to find his friends
Off to find food
Off to find some paracetamal...paretsetemal...pain killers
And ... hopefully, off to find some trousers.
Skitz: Morning ritual. Bet you had them all going there for a minute.
Zix: What do you mean by that?
Skitz: Bloody hell. You really don't have a clue what I'm on about do you? You wrote all those... those... innuendoes but don't have a clue what they mean.
Zix: What's an inyouendoh? *shrug* Sorry for taking so long everybody. Not a bad difference between 3 weeks and 7 months is there? I had exams and Skitz found something she liked doing more than bullying me.
Skitz: I'm being creative!!
Zix: You're making a bloody row!