Author's note: I'm still not a doctor! But I did a little research! If there are any errors, either accidental or not, I apologize now. Oh, and another thing. I had intended to have all the pilots in this chapter. . . not quite yet.
by Anthy
0300 hours
Heero stared absently at the clock beside his bed, the red flourescent glow the only light in the darkened room. Laying on his back, Heero closed his eyes and ordered his body to sleep. As on command, his muscles relaxed and his pulse and breathing slowed to a steady rhythm. 5 hours minimum, he instructed himself as tried to clear his thoughts. Instead, images flashed through his mind, images that ran through his mind for days and would not disappear. His breath caught, yet he again commanded his body to sleep. After lying there for what felt was more than five hours, Heero sat up in bed. Opening his eyes, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, ready to start his day. Heero froze as he looked around the empty room of the safe house. Something was incredibly wrong. The room was still dark. Heero picked up the bedside clock; 3:15am it read.
Impossible, he scoffed as he laid back onto the bed. Since the day Heero knew how to crawl he had been trained to control himself and his surroundings. Sleeping had been one of his first lessons. Time, he had learned, was all part of the mind--easy to control. But tonight it seemed, time had become his enemy. No matter how long he commanded his body to rest, time told him he slept less than his felt. Thats not right, he reasoned, his body was indeed tired, his mind was not. Rolling onto his side, Heero looked to the empty bed beside his. It was still the way his teammate had left it, the blankets thrown haphazardly on the corner of the bed and clothes scattered all around the floor.
Heero stood and slowly walked over to Duo's bed. He proceeded to make the bed, making sure that all the wrinkles were straightened. Once satisfied with the results, he then gathered the clothes on the floor and laid them in a neat pile. Looking at the now uniformly clean area, Heero felt a dull pain in his chest. He stood there, suddenly aware that his breathing had become irregular. His lungs expanded and caught, then spasmed as he exhaled. Placing a hand to his face, he realized that his cheeks were damp. Perspiration fell from his eyes, and it seemed to be related to the shaking of his lungs.
What is this? Heero thought as his body slid to the floor. As he sat there, his body acted on it's own, and eventually the pain subsided and he was able to control his breathing once more. Wiping the tears from his eyes, Heero reached for the corner of Duo's bed. With a hard tug, the blanket fell into a humpled heap on the floor. Duo. . .
The unfortunate accident to his teammate was having an unknown effect on him. Even while on mission, his mind revisited that night. Many questions were raised that he could not answer. What puzzled him most was his own behavior. First was the incident at the hospital, then Hilde. He did not know why he had contacted her. Sure, she was Duo's closest friend, and she could have delivered the neccessary items that Heero could not. Heero had known he would be late arriving for his mission that day, but he had contacted the girl anyway. After packing a large bag with the things he knew Duo would need, reason told him to leave the bag on the porch and leave. However, he had spent that day dragging the girl through the nearby shopping center, quickly buying things that Duo might want.
"Duo reads these sometimes, doesn't he? Pick up the most recent. . . He eats those often, I recognize the package. . . "
Heero remembered saying those things, though he himself never really acknowledged Hilde's presense, he merely brought her along. He had then tore a scrap a paper and hastily written on it. What he had said on the note he could not remember, only that he had to write it. Throwing it in the bag, he sent the bewildered girl on her way, briefly noteing that Duo and Hilde's personalities were somewhat similar. She ranted and raved all through the trip to the mall, often threatening to scream she was being kidnapped by a madman.
The mission had gone smoothly. It had taken longer than he had planned, but he found the information Doctor J needed and that was the important thing, wasn't it? Arriving back at the safehouse, Heero found that he could not bring himself to return to the hospital. He spent most of his time locked in their room, typing up various reports and waiting for a mission to arrive. Doing those activities passed the time, though he found it difficult without Duo's distractions. Yesterday he had turned on Duo's radio full blast, yet as he continued typing Heero half expected to feel an all to familar arm wrap around his shoulders, a certain long brown braid brushing across his keyboard. More than anything, he expected his presense.
He waited for that loud voice of Duo's to sound over the speakers, talking about this or that; ranting about how silent Heero was being. Then Duo would start singing in badly accented Japanese, Heero would mildly correct him in German, causing Duo to make lewd jokes in French. Heero would then pretend to ignore him as he finished his report; Duo still rambling in various languages before complaining about wanting something to eat. Suddenly there was a loud rapping at his door, Wufei complaining to him to turn that music off. Turning to look at his partner, he found the bed to be empty. Strange. . . Heero had thought as he turned off the radio.
Finding work impossible, he had went downstairs to see a very defeated Quatre walk through the doorway. He face was red and splotchy and the blonde pilot looked completely withdrawn and tired. Sitting an the couch, Quatre turned his head at Heero and attempted a weak smile.
"He's coming home." Heero remembered Quatre calmly stating, "He didn't want the surgery. . . it was too risky, he said . . . he freaked out. . . he's coming home."
He didn't want the surgery. Duo had an opportunity and passed on it. Why? Why did he give up? Heero thought as the pain in his chest began to grow. The lights from his laptop came to life, breaking through his reverie. Heero quickly stood and walked over to the desk, only pausing to kick the clothes pile as he walked by. Reading the mission, he quickly accepted it and left the room.
I need to regain control . . . must complete mission. . . Duo is not my mission . . . Duo . . .
Two weeks later
Heero stood in the doorway of the plain two-story house and observed the surroundings. He was told that the other pilots made this their safe house because it was closer to the hospital and Duo had refused to stay in Quatre's large mansion. Walking down the narrow hallway, Heero surveyed the new surroundings. The staircase was to his right, it probably lead to the pilot's rooms. To the left was a large opening supported by two pillars, and the space it lead to could easily have been a former living room or dining room. A chandelier hung from the ceiling but the rest of the room was bare. Another room was connected to it with the same pillared opening. From where Heero was standing, he could see a television sitting in the corner. Sounds came from it softly, but other than that the house was virtually silent. Heero heard rustling sounds from the small door at the end of the hallway. Walking to the room, he encountered a fairly large kitchen. Wufei entered from the back pantry, a pot in his hands. After briefly glaring at Heero, he scoffed before heading towards the stove.
"So you're back," Wufei snorted as he slammed the pot down with a clang. Heero grunted in reply and sat at the table. Wufei continued what he was doing in silence, occasionally stopping at the door next to the sink. "Duo's room." he explained coldly before continuing his tasks. Heero did not understand Wufei's attitude toward him, however he headed towards the open doorway, only to be blocked by Wufei.
"Before you go in there, you've got to understand a few things. First, Trowa's away on a mission, Quatre should be back any minute. Second, on the refrigerator is Duo's schedule. It must be followed. Third, he shouldn't even be here." the Chinese boy hissed in hushed tones. "He should have just gone to the rehabilitation center like they insisted. Until a mission comes around, you work. If not, you're out of here. And next time tell someone if you are leaving, this time someone's life might depend on it."
Heero started to open his mouth to respond when a faint unfamiliar voice was heard in the other room.
"Wufei. . ."
Wufei pushed the other pilot aside and entered the room. Heero followed behind him, only to realize that this was the same room with the television. I didn't even realize anyone was here. . . Duo was lying on the couch, a foldable wheelchair was placed where he could reach it. At a first glance, both pilots could see that Duo was in pain.
"My head hurts," Duo whimpered as he ran a hand over his flushed face. His voice was unrecognizable, as if he nose was pinched. Duo's eyes were clenched shut and Heero noticed that one of his legs were jerking back and forth spastically. However, the movement seemed beyond Duo's control.
"How?" Heero asked as Wufei walked up to Duo and felt his pulse. Wufei shook his head and then pushed Duo up into a sitting position. Heero stood there as Wufei began to loosen Duo's clothes.
"Heero, hand me those pillows by you, please. I need to check his catheter." Wufei ordered as he used his body to support Duo's. Duo moaned and layed his head on Wufei's shoulder. "Don't just stand there!"
Heero stood there as he realized that his legs refused to move. Wufei grunted and frustation and picked up Duo in his arms and set him in his wheelchair.
"Sorry I had to move you, but you need to sit up for awhile. Are you feeling like you need to throw up? Ok, it looks like your catheter needed replacing anyway."
Duo made slight whimpering noises as Wufei calmly continued working. Heero could only watch as Wufei moved back and forth from the kitchen, each time with something new. Duo's violet eyes opened slightly. They looked absently at the wall as Wufei worked, and he seemed completely emotionless until he saw Heero. A small grin came to his face before breaking into a yawn.
"Hey Heero!" he exclaimed quietly, his voice still a little nasally. "When did you get in? Aren't you going to say hi? Hee-"
Before Duo could finish, Heero abruptly turned and walked back into the kitchen. He leaned against the wall by the sink, his breath coming in quick gasps. Wufei stormed back into the kitchen and glared at him.
"Autonomic dysreflexia*, look it up. I forgot to mention that one. Damn it, Heero! You need to act quick, if you don't move fast. . ."
"I couldn't. . ."
"I saw that! I don't know what's wrong with you Yuy, but at any rate your being here isn't making this easy for him. You're only making it worse."
"What's going on?" Quatre asked as he entered the kitchen, immediately dropping the bags in his hand.
"Duo had another episode. I took care of it." Wufei said, his eyes still locked on Heero's face.
"I'm going to check up on him," Quatre said as he entered the living room, only to find Duo silently sobbing in the chair.
"I didn't, I was, but I," Heero whispered, his mind not comprehending anything. All he knew was he did not like the look Wufei was giving him, and he definately despised the growing hollow feeling in his heart. "I don't know what's happening to me."
"Well, figure it out." Wufei spat at him, his voice low. "Until then, we don't need you here."
Heero pushed Wufei aside and rushed down the hallway and out the door.
I have to know, I have to learn . . . but why?
"Miss Darlian," an attendant rapped lightly at her door.
"Yes, Charles?" Relena looked up from the book she was reading.
"A Mr. Yuy is here to see you."
"Heero!" Relena exclaimed as she jumped from her bed and ran out the door.
"He's waiting for you in the study!" Charles called out as she rushed past him. "Ah, youth." He chuckled as he closed the door.
Relena ran down the hallway and down the stairs, her heart racing as fast as her feet were. He came! To see me! her mind cheered. She slowed her pace to a stop, momentarily considering if Heero had finally come to kill her. "No, that couldn't be it," she reasoned. "If he came to kill me, Charles would be dead by now."
With a light giggle, she entered the study, only to freeze in her tracks. Heero was standing there, his face streaked with tears. If it wasn't for the tears, she wouldn't have known anything was wrong at all. Running to him, Relena threw her arms around him in a tight hug. Heero's body stayed completely still. Before Relena could release her grip, strong arms wrapped around her waist and he placed his head on her shoulder.
"I need your help." he whispered.
And he began to cry.
To Be Continued
*Professional Medical Note: "Autonomic dysreflexia is a syndrome characterized by abrupt onset of excessively high blood pressure caused by uncontrolled sympathetic nervous system discharge in persons with spinal cord injury. Persons at risk for this problem generally have injury levels above T-6. True autonomic dysreflexia is potentially life-threatening and is considered a medical emergency."