Author's note: This story was inspired by an episode of Press Gang. Obviously, that episode is funnier than my story, but I still hope this will contain a few points, even if I'm sometimes serious to the verge of sentimentality. The story is a mix of known facts, my own imagined future for the riders and stuff I just put in for fun (like the angels). I enjoyed writing it and would certainly have enjoyed it on TV, even if it has more discussions than action. I have consequently called Jimmy by his last name. I can't imagine e.g. Jane calling him - he's not the young man he once was.
...and then what?
First all you see is a sign saying Deadwood, South Dakota. Then perspective widens and you see a town full of people. Follow the main road and stop outside a saloon called Nuttal and Mann's. From the inside there is talking, laughter, and all the usual noise.
Inside the saloon some people are playing poker, among them HICKOK. Next to him, there is a young woman dressed in men's clothing: JANE. Hickok and Jane appear to be good friends, they crack jokes and give each other bitchy comments in a half flirty way.
JANE: So, I ran into Cody last week.
HICKOK (to the dealer): One. (To Jane) Yeah? How is the old liar?
JANE: Fine. He misses you, though. Says the show ain't the same since you left.
HICKOK: Well, that's his life, not mine.
DEALER: Who's Cody?
HICKOK: Buffalo Bill Cody, the guy with the Wild West show. We met when we both rode for the Pony Express. (Shakes his head.) I loved those riders, they were like family. I'd sure like to know what happened to all of them. (Notices McCALL, who is standing right behind him.) What?
McCALL: Nothing.
HICKOK: Then get off my back!
He turns back to the table.
McCALL: Are you Wild Bill Hickok?
HICKOK (sighs): I'm James Butler Hickok, yes. Do you have a problem with that?
McCALL (lifts his hands): Not really.
PLAYER: Full house.
Hickok lays his cards on the table. It's two black aces and two black eights, plus an odd card.
McCall draws a gun. Jane notices and shouts Hickok's name, but it's too late. The bullet hits Hickok in the back, and he falls off his chair and down to the floor. Things are getting kind of fuzzy and then we watch Hickok's face as people are yelling.
JANE: Oh my God, they killed Hickok! You bastards!
DEALER: Go get the Marshal! Tell him this son of a bitch shot a guy in the back.
The noises fade away. We still see Hickok's face. He looks bewildered.
VOICE: Jimmy? How do you feel?
HICKOK (mumbles): Jimmy Nobody calls me Jimmy anymore.
ANOTHER VOICE: Take it easy on him, Noah. It's confusing getting shot.
HICKOK: Noah?
He looks up, and yes, there is the black rider, who smiles at him.
NOAH: Good to see you again, Jimmy! It's been a long time.
HICKOK: Noah! But you died!
NOAH: Sure! So do most people. Coming to think of it, everybody dies, sooner or later.
He gives Hickok a helping hand to rise him up. Another hand grabs his arm. Hickok looks that way, and sees IKE, who is grinning at him.
HICKOK (disbelieving): Ike?
IKE: Hi Jimmy! Guess you didn't count on seeing me again?
HICKOK: You you can talk!?
IKE: Obviously. Have you ever heard of a mute angel?
NOAH (to the camera): Even angels eat Läkerol.
HICKOK (still disbelieving, still repeating what the other riders say): Angel!?
IKE (smiling): Yes, angel!
He turns around, and feathers start growing on his back. Finally, there's a pair of bright white, downy, silver edged wings.
Hickok looks at Noah, who also turns around. The same thing happens to him, except his wings aren't silver edged. Hickok stares at them both, and then he looks around the saloon. He finds they are all standing some distance away from the poker table, where his body is still lying on the ground.
HICKOK: Hey, that's me!
NOAH: Of course it is! Shot in the back by an outlaw called Jack Crooked Nose McCall. Hell of a way to go, Jimmy.
HICKOK: Then you have come to bring me away?
IKE: Yes, and to fulfill your last wish.
HICKOK: What last wish?
Noah takes a note book made of dark leather from his pocket and reads out loud.
NOAH: I loved those riders, they were like family. I'd sure like to know what happened to all of them. (Closes the note book.) So that's what we're gonna do, show you what happened to them. This is what happened to us!
He and Ike put their faces together and smile, like you do when somebody takes a snapshot. Then they get back to their previous positions.
NOAH: So prepare for some quick jumping from place to place. I think we'll start somewhere you have been before.
He snaps his fingers, and suddenly the three of them are outdoors, on a street in another town.
Hickok, who was not prepared to be swept off his feet, almost loses balance at first.
HICKOK: What do you mean? I don't recognize this town!
IKE: Maybe you recognize those wagons!
He points at some wagons with colorful pictures of cowboys, indians et.c.
HICKOK (smiles): Sure, that's Cody's show. Come on, lets see what he's up to.
They walk down the street, and end up before a stable, where CODY is standing. With him is ESSIE, a young blonde of about sixteen-seventeen years, with quite a decent shape. Cody argues wildly with the STABLEMAN.
CODY: Oh, come on, Benson, give me a break! I just need you to let these wagons stand here while I'm away. I won't be long.
STABLEMAN: Shared profits.
CODY: What?
STABLEMAN: I want shared profits in your show.
CODY: That's not fair! You...
STABLEMAN: Shared profits in your show and your next book.
HICKOK (amused): Looks like he'd better agree before the price gets too high.
Cody seems to have come to the same conclusion, because he sighs, shrugs and then nods.
STABLEMAN: Fine! And what if you get killed?
CODY: Huh?
STABLEMAN: Well, you'll be in war, it's a possibility. What will I get if you get killed?
CODY (overcome): What do you want?
STABLEMAN: The right to keep the wagons and horses.
CODY (spreads his hands): They'll be all yours. But I bet you ten to one that I'll come back. Only the good die young.
STABLEMAN (grinning): Believe it or not, Bill, I sure do hope so!
Cody shakes hands with the stableman and then lays his arm around Essie's shoulders and grabs the halter of the only remaining horse with his other hand.
ESSIE: Oh, Bill, you will take care of yourself when you fight the indians, won't you? I couldn't stand it if you died.
CODY: I'll do my best, Essie. But there is such a thing as duty. I remember when I was in the battle of Antietam. I had been shot in the stomach and could see my own guts through the wound, but I knew I had to defend my country, so I told myself: William Frederick Cody, if you allow yourself to faint right now you're not worthy of calling yourself a man. And then I grabbed my rifle and used it as a crutch, dragging myself closer to the battle so I could shoot a couple of those guys.
While he's talking, he demonstrates the dragging and other colorful parts of his story.
ESSIE: Oh, Bill, you're so brave!
HICKOK: He was never even in
NOAH (laughs): Of course not!
IKE: Not to mention he could never really have done all that with a bullet in his stomach.
ESSIE: Bill!
CODY: Hmmm
ESSIE: Bill, listen to me!
CODY: Sure, Essie, I'm listening!
ESSIE: If you survive, you will come back to me, right? I mean, you'll divorce your wife and we'll get married?
HICKOK (puts his face in his hand): Oh man
CODY: Of course I will, don't you worry. (Kisses her.)
HICKOK: Poor girl. And she must be young enough to be his daughter. (A thought strikes him.) Will he be killed in that war?
NOAH: No, God's counting on another 40 years or more until this fruit is ripe and ready to be picked. Too bad, though, I miss him. I've been stuck with this guy for fifteen years, Cody would be fun for a change. (Grins) But I guess you'll have to do, Jimmy.
HICKOK: But when those 40 years are up he'll go to heaven?
IKE: His case hasn't been up yet, but I'm pretty sure he will. God loves a trickster. (Thinks for a second.) And an artist.
HICKOK: Cody's an artist?
IKE: He's a storyteller, isn't he?
HICKOK: Yeah, I guess he is
Looks thoughtfully at Cody, who's having an emotional moment with Essie.
NOAH (coughs): Have you seen enough? Can we move on?
HICKOK (back to reality): Oh! Yes, sure!
This time Ike snaps his fingers, and they find themselves in a general store. Behind the counter sits JUDY, a dark-haired woman in her late thirties. She is adding up some numbers and meanwhile eating an apple. There are no customers in the store.
HICKOK (after a while): Nothing happens here!
NOAH (checks his note book): According to our instructions, it will.
Judy takes the sheet of paper and walks into the back room. You hear her talking to someone.
HICKOK: Oh, you were right, something did happen! She left! Who is she, anyway? Why are we even here?
IKE: Patience, Jimmy! You've got eternity, and you're worrying about a few minutes?
Silence.
HICKOK: Hey, Ike, I've been wondering something. How come your wings are silver edged and Noah's ain't?
IKE (embarrassed): No reason.
NOAH (grinning): Ike's been behaving better than I have. He even forgave his worst enemy.
IKE: That's no big deal. He had a family and besides, he had changed. You would have done the same thing.
NOAH (emphasized): No, I wouldn't!
The bell rings and another woman, IMELDA, enters the store. Judy comes back into the store.
JUDY: Oh, hello Imelda! How was school today?
IMELDA: Fine! Your Robert has really been making great progress. You've done miracles with that boy!
JUDY: Well, thank you, that's always nice to hear! But I actually believe the credits should go to Buck. They're really wonderful together. (Smiles) I really enjoy having a son, it's so different from the girls.
HICKOK: Is she Buck's wife?
IKE: Since many years. I've been dead, and I keep better track of people than you do!
HICKOK: Well, he was your best friend.
Imelda buys two pounds of flour. She and Judy say some nice things to each other, and she leaves. MR SUTTON's voice is heard from the back room.
MR SUTTON: Mrs Cross!
He shouts very loudly, and a baby starts to cry. Judy sighs and goes once again into the back room. This time the riders follow her there.
The back room has a set of stairs to the second floor, a bookshelf full of accounts and other books, a small stove, a table, some chairs, and in a corner a basket where the crying baby lies. It's a girl, maybe ten months old. Mr Sutton, a man of fiftysomething with an impressive amount of grey hair, sits by the table, which is at the present full of writing material. Judy goes directly to the baby's basket and picks her up, hushing gently at her.
JUDY: I know I promised Lydia wouldn't disturb you, but if you shout like that it's your own fault. What is it?
MR SUTTON: I went through today's accounts.
JUDY (nods): And was there anything wrong with them?
MR SUTTON (seems surprised to get the question): No.
JUDY: Than why are you so edgy?
MR SUTTON (hesitates): Well, mrs Cross, there's another thing. I don't know how to say this, but
The doorbell rings again. Judy looks up.
JUDY: That must be Buck. (Shouts) We're in here, Buck!
BUCK comes in. He is dressed in a grey suit, but otherwise not much changed. He kisses his wife and the baby, and then sits down at a chair. He seems distracted.
BUCK: I lost.
MR SUTTON: I'm sorry to hear that. What will happen to the boy?
BUCK (violently): What do you think? He'll hang, of course, for defending himself against some guys who beated him up. It could as well have been me.
Judy puts the baby back into the bed, then walks up to her husband, strikes his hair and tries to keep her voice light.
JUDY: And now mr Sutton has some other bad news for us. I don't know what it is.
MR SUTTON: I just found a very mean note in the pocket of my coat. It's for you.
He hands the note to Judy. Both she and Buck sighs, very relieved.
JUDY: Was that all? Fifty-four. Buck, what's yours?
BUCK: Thirty-six. You're still way ahead of me.
JUDY (reads out loud): Miss Jones! I call you miss Jones, because your marriage to a heathen has not been approved of by God. You are living in sin. The children you get into your clutches are brought up in sin. Clutches? I suppose God doesn't want us to adopt orphans? I pray every day for their salvation. I am afraid it is too late for yours. (Rips the paper.) Well, that was pure rubbish.
BUCK: Yes, but quite well-written! They're usually not that verbal.
MR SUTTON: It doesn't bother you at all?
BUCK: It did at first, but not anymore. Of course, every new subject hurts, but this was all old stuff.
JUDY (smiles): So there was no need to get that melodramatic. You scared me, you know! I thought you might want to fire me.
MR SUTTON: (shocked): Of course not! Whatever makes you say that? You're the best assistant I have ever had!
BUCK: What about the children, then?
MR SUTTON: They don't bother me.
JUDY: Whoah! Are you telling me you don't get annoyed when Lydia gets hungry, or wet, or cries for some other reason, or when Margaret makes a big noise, or when Jennifer screams because Robert has put a frog under her dress? None of those things bother you?
MR SUTTON: Let's not push it. But they're fine kids, and Maggie is a great help to me in the store. She's very bright!
JUDY: Yes, a bright, deaf, part-indian, part-chinese bastard. Guess how many anonymous notes I got about her? Twentyone.
BUCK: Speaking of which, where are they all?
JUDY: Jennifer is at the Robertsons'. Maggie and Robert said they were going off to play somewhere. Do you want me to find them?
BUCK (moving closer to her, his face buried in her hair): You know, I'd rather you didn't.
The dead riders have stood silent while this mini-drama went on, but now Hickok shakes his head slowly.
HICKOK: What a life!
IKE: No, Hickok, you're wrong! It's a good life, they love each other, and they do have a fine set of kids and many friends in this town. Then what does it matter if Buck doesn't always win his cases, or if strangers don't approve of them, or if they can't have children of their own and have to adopt. Look at them!
Buck and Judy are now very absorbed by each other and moving for the stairs.
HICKOK: It wasn't true, was it? That God doesn't approve of their marriage?
IKE: How can you say such a thing? They were meant for each other. A match made in heaven if there ever was one.
NOAH: Come on, we've been here too long already. Buck's life is a lot slower than Cody's. It's time to move on. We're going to Boston!
HICKOK: Boston?
But Noah has already snapped his fingers, and they're standing in a fine living-room. Outside, there is all the traffic of a 19th century city. Inside, there is a middle-aged woman, DELORIS, well dressed, who is sitting in an armchair, reading a book.
The door is flung open and LOU rushes in. She wears a precious yellow dress and a hat that has almost fallen off.
LOU: Deloris, you have to help me!
DELORIS (in a sweet, cultivated voice): Hello Louise! Welcome! Please close the door!
Lou closes the door and then turns back to her friend. Her face is very serious.
LOU: This is life and death to me, Deloris. You don't by any chance have something more comfortable for me to wear, do you?
DELORIS (laughs): You're such a child sometimes, Louise, do you know that? I mended Brian's second best trousers today, they're in the top drawer. And there are plenty of shirts.
Lou finds the clothes and starts taking off the ones she's wearing. Hickok turns around as the naked flesh begins to show.
NOAH: Don't tell me you're embarrassed! You're dead, Jimmy! There won't be any blood flowing to the wrong parts.
HICKOK: That's not the point.
IKE: You loved her once. I always thought so. Anyway, you can look back, she's dressed again.
And so she is, now looking more like the Lou we used to know.
LOU: Horses?
DELORIS: You know where they stand. You can take Merlyn. (As Lou walks towards the door) Trouble at home?
LOU: Trouble everywhere! Don't do this, Lou, don't do that, Lou! I get nervous when I don't know where you are, Lou! That's not proper, Lou! Don't forget that you're pregnant again, Lou, you might hurt the baby! (Looks at Deloris, thoughtfully.) You don't think riding can really hurt the baby, do you? It never hurt the others.
DELORIS: The way you ride? It probably could. But lots of things can. They're quite fragile in a way, babies, and yet tougher than you think. Besides, only a great fool would expect you to live your life wrapped in cotton.
LOU (laughs): Well, that's what he is, that's what he's always been. Sometimes I wish that he was the woman for once, trying to obey all these stupid rules. The thing is, once you've lived a man's life
She shrugs, not finding the words.
DELORIS: You're addicted to it. Well, you'd better hurry, he'll know you came here!
LOU: I sneaked away from him down town and took a cab, but you're right, he'll realise sooner or later that I didn't just get lost.
She kisses Deloris and says you're my best friend, then she rushes for the door.
DELORIS: Louise, can you tell me something?
Lou stops, and looks back at her friend.
DELORIS: I don't mean to encourage bad living, but why do you put up with this? Why don't you just leave altogether?
LOU (puzzled): I love him, Deloris! I love him more than anything else in the whole world!
She walks out the door.
DELORIS: That must be nice
HICKOK: I would never have treated her like that.
NOAH: Well, you both made another choice. Not much to be done about that. And if you hadn't, there would have been no other women. Jane would never have had her daughter. It's all for the best, you know. He knows what he's doing.
It doesn't take long before the door is opened again. this time it's Kid. (AUTHOR: Kid's real name is found on THIS1 page.) He is very upset.
KID: Where is she?
DELORIS: Kid! Come on in! Close the door, sit down, make yourself at home! Do you want a cup of coffee?
KID: Where is she?
Deloris starts to read again.
DELORIS: Don't yell at me, Kid. Now, who are you talking about?
KID: You know damn well who I'm talking about! Now, where's Lou?
DELORIS: Louise? You don't know where she is?
KID: Don't tell me you haven't seen her!
DELORIS: I've seen Louise many times. She's very lovely company. (turns page)
KID: I meant now! You know where she is, don't you!
DELORIS: Yes.
A short silence.
KID: Well?
DELORIS: She is taking a ride on my Merlyn. I hope she enjoys it. He's such a wonderful horse.
KID: A ride? Don't you know she's pregnant? What if she loses her baby?
DELORIS (puts the book in her lap): I'm losing patience with you, Kid. You're such a wonderful person really, but you have this impossible need of control. What is it you want? Guarantees? Nobody can give you that! You can drag Louise home, tie her to her bed and force her to remain there until the baby is born, and it could be stillborn anyway. Although I admit it would be more likely that she shot herself in the head first, out of pure desperation.
Kid sits down, and seems more calm.
KID (slowly): I love her. I can't stand the thought of anything happening to her.
DELORIS: I know that! If I didn't, do you think I would have this conversation with you? I'd throw you you out this minute! Now, I know I'm just some crazy spinster who fills her pretty little head with Mary Wollstonecraft and all that stuff, but I know what I'm talking about! If you wanted an ordinary girl, a home-sitting sweetheart who cooks and cleans and never questions
KID: That's not what I want.
DELORIS: Then listen to what mama has to say.
KID (chuckles): Yes, mama.
DELORIS: You let Louise have her little ride. And when she comes home tonight, you won't yell at her, or quarrel with her, or reproach her. You will simply say Did you have a nice day? And then you will ask her what she wants to do tomorrow, and if you can take part in her plans. Now, you mustn't say those things in an ironical way, you have to mean them!
KID: Yes, mama. That's pretty good advice.
DELORIS: Of course it is. You give her some freedom, and she'll be fine. But if you lock her up, she'll just bang her head into the wall, and nothing good will come of it for any of you.
HICKOK (eyebrows raised): Quite a wise woman.
NOAH: Yes, isn't she? It makes me wonder if she's one of us
IKE: So, Jimmy, ready for heaven?
HICKOK: What?
IKE: I said, ready for heaven?'.
HICKOK: But what about the others? Teaspoon, Rachel
NOAH: Actually, the wish only included the riders.
HICKOK (disappointed): Oh.
Noah looks at Ike, who shrugs.
IKE: Oh, what the heck
NOAH: I guess we can throw in some more people. Who do you want to start with? Teaspoon?
HICKOK: Yeah, I can't wait to see him again!
Another finger snap, and they stand in a tavern. A woman of forty comes in from the kitchen.
HICKOK: Who's she? I recognize her!
IKE: It's Amanda. Boy, she's prettier than ever.
HICKOK: Yeah, you had a bit of a crush on her, didn't you? But I thought we were going to see Teaspoon?
NOAH (turns over the pages in his note book): We were! (Finds the place.) Oh. We are.
AMANDA goes up the stairs. When she comes down again, TEASPOON is with her. Amanda tries to grab his arm, but he won't let her.
TEASPOON: Honestly, Amanda, I'm not that old yet.
AMANDA: I remember a time when you were proud to hold my arm.
TEASPOON (chuckles): Well, I'm not the man I was and you're not the woman you were.
Amanda only laughs at this comment, and sits down next to him.
AMANDA: Listen, Rachel and I have been talking, and we think Garth should have a share in this tavern, too.
TEASPOON: Really? I always thought you were sensible women.
AMANDA: Oh, come on, Teaspoon, I started this place. If I want Garth to join us you can't stop me.
TEASPOON: Of course not. You and Rachel do what you want with your shares.
AMANDA: Well, then
TEASPOON: Just don't expect me to have a part in it. Don't get me wrong, I like Garth -he's a whole lot better than some other men you've tried to marry. But he would never be what you call a silent partner, if you know what I mean. He's not even silent now, even though he's not a partner. Now, you love him, so maybe you can have him minding all your business, but I'm not so sure about me and Rachel.
AMANDA (dryly): You used to be a silent partner before you retired.
TEASPOON: Well, I have to have something to do! Tell you what, I'll put the guy's name in my will, so the day you decide to hit me in the head with a hammer he'll get my share.
AMANDA (sighs, then laughs): Oh, Teaspoon, really!
RACHEL comes out of the kitchen. She's carrying two plates, that she puts down on a table with the usual there you go-phrases.
RACHEL: Oh, hi, Teaspoon, I thought you weren't on for another hour.
TEASPOON: I wasn't, but then Amanda decided to fill me in on her crazy plans.
RACHEL (frowns): What crazy plans?
AMANDA: About making Garth a partner.
RACHEL (shrugs): What's so crazy about that?
TEASPOON: Having that know-it-all all over this place!?
RACHEL: Well, I'm in the kitchen most of the time, and he doesn't care much about that (grins) No, but seriously, Teaspoon, he'll be a real access.
TEASPOON: Access!?
RACHEL: Sure! Because he's a know-it-all. A pedantic, dead honest, mathematical know-it-all who won't rest til he's done his duty. Think about it! You both hate doing the books. Either you do it yourself, or you hand it to someone you have to monitor, and in either case you're bored. Well, then let's put Garth in charge of that. He'll enjoy it, for some strange reason. We'll know the job is done, but we won't have to worry about it.
TEASPOON (leans back): You've got a point there! I agree! (To Amanda) Why didn't you put it that way in the first place?
AMANDA (looks thoughtfully at Rachel): Well I never thought of it that way
HICKOK: This guy, Garth, is he as dull as they describe him?
NOAH: Well, he's not as hilarious as we are, but he's a nice guy. I don't think Teaspoon will regret his decision.
IKE (takes a shining watch from his pocket): We really ought to get going. (Looks at Noah) Sam and Emma?
NOAH: Who?
IKE: Oh, right, you never met them.
HICKOK: Sam and Emma would be great!
Ike snaps his fingers, and they stand in front of a big, white farmhouse. On each side of the front yard is a small tent. MARIANNE, a young, slender girl of about fifteen with ginger-coloured hair, shows up at the porch. She looks very distressed, and is wearing an apron that is far from clean.
MARIANNE: Mom, won't you please
She gets no response, and sighs deeply. Then she walks up to one of the tents and runs her fingers through her hair.
MARIANNE (shouting): Mom, will you please get your ass out of that tent!
EMMA shows her head in the opening.
EMMA: What is it, Marianne, dear?
MARIANNE: I can't stand this anymore! Harry just broke Helen's slate, which made Jenny and Jimmy wake up and start crying. So I put one twin on each arm and tried to comfort them, and what do you know! Then the porridge burns. One chore at a time I can handle, but this is crazy!
EMMA: I'm sure it's nothing you can't take care of, Marianne. After all household ain't the same as real work! But if you find it troublesome you can always discuss it with your father.
She smiles mildly at her daughter and then disappears into the tent again. Marianne tries the other tent.
MARIANNE: Dad? Please?
SAM doesn't come out of his tent, but his voice is heard from inside.
SAM: Enjoy it while you can, honey. Before you know it, you'll wreck a knee and nobody will want or need you anymore.
Marianne sighs. ALEX, a young boy somewhat older than Marianne, comes riding. When he reaches the house he gets off his horse and looks, astonished, at the two tents.
ALEX: What's going on?
MARIANNE: Well, I wouldn't know. It started with dad's retirement. He was crabby, they had a quarrel - and before I knew it they both decided to live in those ridiculous tents and not do a damn thing!
ALEX: Uhm Mr and mrs Cain, er How are you feeling?
EMMA: Fine, thank you!
SAM: Never been better!
MARIANNE (half hysterical): They're fine. They are fine! Alex, I think it's best we call off the engagement, don't you?
ALEX: Darling, really
MARIANNE: Unless, of course, you wish to marry the mad daughter of two crazy people and get her eight insane brothers and sisters in the bargain, since their parents are obviously not going to take any responsibility.
ALEX (holds his fiancée): Darling, you seem a little bit worked out.
MARIANNE: No shit! I've been having this hell for two days!
Hickok seems very uncomfortable and turns to the angels.
HICKOK: Have they really lived in those tents for two days?
Noah skims through his book.
NOAH: So it says. Were they always like this?
IKE and HICKOK both: No!
NOAH: Well, don't worry. Apparently the fight will be over soon.
HELEN, a pretty little twelve-year-old girl, comes out.
HELEN: Marianne, Lucien reached for the jar of blueberry jam and sort of dropped it. The kitchen is a mess.
MARIANNE: That does it!
She goes into the house, and a moment later she's coming out again, with her father's gun in her hand.
MARIANNE: Gunpowder bullet Well, why should I care when no one else does? Honey, you study medicine. Where do people shoot themselves? I mean, which part of the body? The heart?
ALEX (slightly amused): Usually through the mouth.
Marianne sticks the barrel in her mouth.
MARIANNE: Wike thish?
ALEX (nods): Yeah, more or less.
MARIANNE: Sharewew cwuew worlth! (Cocks the gun.)
SAM: No!
He finally comes out of his tent, limps up to Marianne and grabs the gun. It goes off into the air.
ALEX: Are you crazy? You could have killed her!
SAM: Were you just gonna stand there and let her shoot herself?
ALEX: Oh, come on! She wasn't really gonna do it!
MARIANNE (dreamily): I don't know about that Kinda nice, a big boom and then just silence. Lovely, wonderful silence
Emma has come out of her tent, too, and now hugs her daughter.
EMMA: We really put you through a lot these past few days, didn't we?
MARIANNE (mumbles): Thank you.
SAM: For what?
MARIANNE: For finally standing here, both of you, and listening to what I have to say. (Lifts up her head.) You're both very necessary to me to us! We can't do without you! There's no point in quarreling about what's real work, who's needed and who's not - you both are!
Sam and Emma look at each other, very embarrassed. Then Sam reaches out his hand.
SAM: Truce?
EMMA: Oh, hell Peace.
IKE: Now, isn't that lovely? Everything back to normal in the Cain family. Noah, I sort of lost track here. Is there anyone left?
NOAH: There's Jesse (troubled) I'm not sure I wanna see this.
HICKOK (mumbles): Me neither.
NOAH: Really? Should we skip it, then?
HICKOK (shakes his head): No, I should do this properly and see them all. We were a family once.
Noah snaps his fingers. The whistle of a steam engine is heard before the picture settles. They're standing next to a railroad track. Not far away, the YOUNGER brothers and the JAMES brothers are preparing a blasting charge.
YOUNGER #1: Okay, Jesse, hurry up, or you be blown to smithereens!
JESSE finishes his job and then quickly moves away. He is now almost thirty and very attractive. Still, he doesn't look like the sort of man you would want to run into in a dark alley.
JESSE: Okay, everybody, move! Move!
They run away from the charge, that soon explodes and wrecks the track. As the flames reach the riders, Hickok involuntarily takes a step back, and the others can't help smiling.
NOAH: Jimmy, you're dead! What are you worrying about?
HICKOK (embarrassed): I can't seem to get used to that.
IKE: It takes a while, but you will. Trust me. And it's kinda fun being invulnerable. Look, here comes the train, I'll show you.
He runs along the track and takes position some distance before the broken part of the track. When the train comes, he stands up straight and waves to the others. Hickoks eyes become very wide as his friend's immaterial body disappears into the train. The train slows down and stops, and the robbers are coming back. Suddenly, Ike rises through the roof of the wagon. He opens his arms.
IKE: Now, how do you like that?
He laughs and jumps down from the train. Hickok laughs too, but stops when he sees the robbers getting into the train. FRANK JAMES opens the door to the locomotive and pulls out the ENGINE DRIVER. The poor man resists, and after a short struggle, Frank finds it best to shoot him.
HICKOK: Good Lord! (Stares at the body) Couldn't yo have done something?
NOAH: Done what?
He takes his whip from the belt and gives Frank a lash. The whip goes right through, and Noah shrugs.
NOAH: We're here to watch, Jimmy. We're not really part of the story anymore. Our mission is to show you what you wanted to see, and then we leave. That's it.
Jesse comes out of the train. He's carrying some valuables, and whistles for his horse. When it comes, he puts the things into his saddlebags. Then he sees the corpse.
JESSE: Oh, Jesus, Frank, was that really necessary?
FRANK (irritated): I wouldn't have done it otherwise. You're getting too bigheaded, little brother. I'm the brain in this band, don't you ever forget that!
JESSE: Yeah, well, I'm the face. And I do my best to smooth people when I rob them, flirt a little, be noble so they talk well about me. That way I get a good rep, and that could help us in the future. People want to help a legend, give him a place to crash at night. If you kill an unarmed man you ruin that!
FRANK (sarcastic): Well, sorry to mess up your plans! I taught you everything you know, you little brat!
JESSE (slowly): Sometimes I think my life would have been much better if you were never in it.
The Youngers come out of the train, too.
YOUNGER #2: Can you skip the brotherly quarrel, and get going!?
They all mount their horses and ride off. Hickok shakes his head.
HICKOK: And he was such a nice little guy, once.
NOAH: Why are you so shocked? You knew what he was doing.
HICKOK: Sure, but I never had to witness it before.
He looks at the dead engine driver. Then a thought strikes him.
HICKOK: Hey, shouldn't someone come for the driver?
IKE: They probably already have.
HICKOK: Then why didn't we see them? Did you see them?
IKE: No, that's not the way it works. He's not part of our story and we're not part of his. Now, you may be dead, but you're still in the world of the living, so you only see what you have to see - like in life.
NOAH: Afterlife is no less complicated than life, you know.
HICKOK: I guess not (pause) What's going to happen to Jesse?
NOAH (shrugs): He'll just stick to what he's doing til someone shoots him down. The prosecutor thinks that will happen about five years from now. Six, tops.
HICKOK: Prosecutor?
IKE: Yeah, He doesn't take care of treasons and shootings, that's the prosecutor's business. Tempting some low-life with 10,000 bucks.
HICKOK: So in five or six years, someone will kill Jesse for money.
NOAH: Yup. What can I say, he hasn't really been a good boy lately. Still, he's not all bad either. In fact, I've never heard of so many appeals in my entire afterlife! Practically everyone has been called to the stand at least once. So far, I've been called three times by the defence, and I'm counting on at least once more. They even called Ike and how long did you know him?
IKE: A month maybe Two months?
NOAH: Must be really heavy testimony!
HICKOK: Whoah, wait a minute Are you trying to tell me that a trial decides whether you go to heaven or hell?
IKE: Why do you think it's called judgement day?
Hickok thinks about this for a minute.
HICKOK: So, did you testify for me?
The other two nods.
NOAH: Although I don't think we were the most important witnesses. The court was pretty impressed by some woman What was her name?
IKE: Alice.
NOAH: Right. Apparently, she's quite a V.I.P. up there.
HICKOK: Alice!? She's in heaven? Can I see her?
NOAH: Absolutely. Right now if you want to, we're done here.
Hickok's getting ready to go, but Ike stops him and points at the camera.
IKE: Aren't you going to say goodbye to them?
HICKOK (looks straight into the camera, very puzzled): Who are all these people?
NOAH: Fans!
IKE: Viewers. Hasn't anyone told you? Life is a play!
HICKOK: What about afterlife?
NOAH: Afterlife is backstage. Bye everybody!
IKE: We'll miss you!
HICKOK: Yeah bye
They come closer to the camera and then walk past it. All that's seen is a train standing helplessly on its track.
The End
1 Jag har inte adressen här, men en länk på min hemsida, så jag mailar över den när jag hinner. Markera och länka.