Disclaimer : I don't own them, no... thanks Sunrise

Pairing : 2+5, 3+4 implied and 1+R implied too ^^'

Category : Sap, Slight Angst, Duo POV

Rate : PG-13

Warning : Shounen ai

Timeline : AC 197 (one year after Endless Waltz)

Note : Short Fic, Enter TSFHWGS contest!

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-Silent Night, Holy Night-

By Kai

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The snow was falling slowly outside the closed windows of the little house. From the Earth, it looked like the twisted white dotted line painted all over the dark sky. The moon was shining bright, the faint curved line on its face looked like a dancing yellow rabbit. The children all over the world were waiting for the fat man in the white beard and red suit to come and present them with the big sack of gifts and uncountable candy.

I've read those stories of Christmas Eve over and over. How many years has it been without a normal Christmas Eve in my life? Sitting together with our family, talking of your adventures in the passed year, drinking and eating together under the candlelight, waiting for the night to come. 10 years perhaps?

All my life was spent in training; shooting and killing. I've passed through many cruel years on my own. It was like a dream. Finally, the war was over...

Yes, today was Christmas Eve but the family I had now was myself and... Chang Wufei.

Since we both worked with the Preventers; hey, all of us worked there, but sometimes I felt like we were alone. Trowa and Quatre moved away to live together. On what purpose? Jesus. You should have seen them when they started packing; they looked like a new married couple who wanted a private life. Anyway, after they left I thought at least we'd still have Heero. But, I realized later that we were wrong; Heero moved to Relena's place. Great! Great!~

It wasn't like I didn't want to live with Wufei but... I didn't want to live alone with him. Mmm would you please stop blushing? ... Ok! I er... I think... Oh, just forget it.

Ok! Onto the Christmas thing. Today I just went to a tree farm and bought a Christmas tree! Yey! The first one in my entire life! I bought others things from gift shop too! Candy canes, paper stars, Santa dolls. Oh, I had fun shopping for these things. The book said I should have Wine and Chicken too. Mmm... Done!

I finished preparing my little party; all I could do now was wait for him to come back. I didn't tell him about this. Surprise? No! Hell no! Chang Wufei never liked surprises. I haven't had a chance to tell him since he was on the mission but was due back today; I had hoped he would come back before dawn.

I wonder what he'll say? Would he think this stuff was stupid? He might be too tired to have a dinner with me. He might think this was a waste. I sighed. Am I a bit too worried?

I moved to the sofa next to the large window, staring out. The streetlight was lit but there were no people walking by like everyday. Maybe, everyone was in their own house, celebrating this holy night with their beloved, embracing each other from the coldness of the snow outside. Maybe. I shrugged.

It was completely a silent night for me, only the small sound of burning wood in the fireplace filled the room. I picked up the thick quilt to wrap myself in. Alone on the dark cold night wasn't easy for someone, but I thought I could handle it. It wasn't that hard for me...

...

What? Am I crying? No, I will not cry...

...

Lie?

How could I lie?

Yes, I was lonely, very lonely. I missed him very much but he wasn't here, but even if he was here... there was nothing I could do. I couldn't hug him, not even touch him... He wasn't mine.

I let my mind wandered to her; Sister Helen. I remembered when she held me and cradled me in her arms; she could kiss my pain away when I cried. Her smile was the only thing I treasured among the other things that happened to me back then.

I miss her, no... I just wanted someone, anyone... anyone who could replace him. But I didn't think I could find that man, maybe that man would never exist.

I wanted to talk to someone... Sister Helen, if you were here, would you listen to me?

I pictured her sitting here beside me, smiling at me, soothing my hair...

"Sister... I've found someone... Someone that I really want to spend my lifetime with... I wish you were here with me Sister, I want you to see him... I bet you'll like him."

I tried to hold back my tears and continued.

"Do you want to know him? He was very... very... kind and handsome." Oh, yeah I'm blushing. "He always wakes up early in the morning, practices his katana and makes breakfast. I love the way he cooks, Sister. I wish I could cook like him... but no, not a good idea. If I can cook he might let me do it sometime. No, no I only want to wake up and fid him standing there at the kitchen counter, his back turned to me, his black hair lose... the morning light from the left side windows shining on him, the song of little bird on the tree outside singing for him... it's... only a little thing, I know but... you don't know what it feels like, Sister. I never want those days to end. Sometimes, I'm afraid. I'm very afraid when he goes away on his missions. I can't help but worry about him. I wish we could quit our jobs... but if we quit, I don't think he would stay with me anymore, Sister. I don't know what to do."

I hugged the fluffy pillow tight; imagine it was her waist for me to hold on.

"I'm trying to be strong, Sister. Strong like you, strong like him... I hope I can keep these feelings for him inside my heart, at least for another day. Tomorrow? Even tomorrow or the following day. I will still keep it, Sister. I can't tell him."

I lowered my voice to minimum... I only could whisper... if louder than that I didn't think my mind could bare the pain anymore... "I love him, Sister."

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Outside of the room, Chang Wufei heard every word... They were all the pieces of the braided boy's heart. He shut the door as quietly as possible... He couldn't remember if his lips curved into a smile or not, but he did remember the way his heart and his soul warmed with some indescribable feeling...

fin~

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Kai: yeah yeah, Christmas Fic !! What the Hell? .. mm the Christmas is next month but .. when I woke up this morning I found myself thinking of the image of Duo like this, ^^'

Feedback: yes, YES please (*^_^*)