Chapter 5: Conversations

Will you just get over it?
Buck was very irritated that night. The rain was pouring down and he hadn't had time to get out of his wet clothes until now.
I mean, I just don't get it, he said. Why are so obsessed with her? You've never been this pushy about any girl before. Usually, we have make you go for it. Is it just because she doesn't want you? Come on, you're smarter than that.
I think she's been hurt signed Ike thoughtfully. I just want to know what happened.
Oh, so to satisfy your curiosity you have to bother some poor girl who really just wants to be left alone? Buck sounded very sarcastic. Or is it pity? Some kind of hero complex? You feel sorry for her and you want to protect her, is that it? That didn't work out very well last time, did it?
How come you don't like Sandy?
I do like her. When she's not a complete cat she's quite a likeable person. But I think you're right, I think she has been hurt. I just don't realise why you're so eager to hurt her again.
He looked firmly at his friend.
Girón's house is half done now. In a couple of weeks we will be going home. Now, you know as well as I do that you're not willing to waste what you have with Emily over some quick fling. His look sharpened. Are you?
No. I love Emily. I've never been happier than I am with her. But He shook his head, uncertain of what to say. Finally he asked: Do you think it's possible to love two women at the same time?
You don't love Sandy, Ike. She's a pretty girl, so you're attracted to her. Maybe you're even in love with her, this damsel in distress business seems to have hit you pretty hard. But it's not love. You don't even know her.
I want to know her. It has nothing to do with damsels in distress. I like her much better when she's happy.
Then why don't you make her happy? Stop flirting with her, stop bringing up subjects she doesn't want to discuss, keep everything on a friendship level, take cold showers every night and think about Emily. Buck grinned, and Ike couldn't help grinning back.
You make it sound so easy.
It is easy. If you didn't have Emily, or if Sandy was more encouraging, this would make sense. But the way things are, you're just fretting over nothing.

Lou had answered to the knock on the door and let Sandy in.
I heard your ceiling was leaking. We can't do anyhing about it until tomorrow, but here are some pots anyway. Do you want me to help you move the bed?
Thank you, that would be wonderful.
Bits of conversation was heard from the other room. Sandy stopped by the foot of the bed and listened.
These walls are too thin, she said with a grimace, keeping her own voice low. Somebody ought to tell them.
Do you want me to Lou asked, but Sandy shook her head.
Naa, they're talking about me, I have a right to hear it, don't you think? She grinned at Lou, and then lifted her side of the bed. Are you ready?
When they had carried the bed to a dry spot, Sandy sat down on it and took a deep breath.
That bed is too heavy for a boarding room. She motioned for Lou to sit down too, and studied her so thoroughly that Lou began to turn uneasily.
You know, I'm not all that complicated, Sandy said. Most of the time I'm fine. I've had my share of problems, but I've sorted them out. It's just my lovelife that's screwed up. But I guess that goes for you too.
She met Lou's eyes.
Do they even know you're a girl?
Lou couldnt hide how surprised she got. How did you know?
Carlos told me. He had seen it right away. I suspect that Nita knows it as well. There is no lying to that girl. But I myself was completely fooled. She laughed, and looked at Lou with great curiosity. I hope you don't mind me asking, but
Why? I needed the work, and to get it I had to be a man. The station manager knows now, but he thought it best if I was a boy here. He seemed to be afraid that uncle Alonzo would tell the firm.
He would, too, Sandy said. He is the most indiscrete man I've ever met, apart from the real gossipers. If Ike wants the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth he should ask tío Alonzo some time when tía Becky isn't there to shut him up. I hope he doesn't, though. It's not nice to have your personal life exposed to strangers.
No, it isn't, Lou agreed.
Sandy got a worried expression.
Oh, sorry Did you mind that we found out about you?
No! No, not at all. Actually, it's quite comforting to hear. I have been wondering all this time if Carlos is flirting with me. At least now I know that he is.
Sandy rubbed her nose. She seemed a bit embarrassed. You know, it wouldn't make any difference. Carlos likes men and women equally.
You're kidding! Lou was shocked. That nice, charming young man
He's not a libertine or anything, Sandy hurried to assure her. He's serious enough when it comes to love. Not as serious as I am, maybe, but then again, few people are. He says that souls and beauty have no gender, and I've known him to have serious crushes on both men and women. Estrella is a place for pederasts. Not a brothel or something like that, only somewhere they can feel at home, where nobody will condemn them.
Lou stared at her, stunned.
You're not pulling my leg?
Certainly not.
And this is the sort of thing you don't mind telling people. Lou shook her head. I don't think I even want to hear your secrets.

You know, old mr. Hamilton said at Sunday dinner, now that the rain has stopped the air seems cleaner sometimes. Purer!
Maybe it is, said mrs. Fernandez. Spring cleaning in the sky! She smiled at her boarder to show that she wasn't making fun of him.
It is actually quite lovely weather today, he said, almost accusatory, turning to Nita.
, she agreed with him. It is.
And it's Sunday too.
She didn't quite know what he was getting at.
So what I don't undrestand is why you youngsters don't have a nice little picnic in the open.
Nita lit up. You know, that's a wonderful idea! Can we? she asked her mother.
You're certainly old enough to have picnics without asking me first.
Can we come? Lou asked.
Of course! Nita was getting quite excited. Don't you think it's a good idea? She pleaded her siblings to consent.
Well, I want to go, said Carlos. How about you, Aleja?
Sandy nodded.
If you're going I'm going. I'm not going to be stuck alone here.
Isn't this great? Nita could hardly sit still on her chair. I'll ask Ramón if he wants to come, too.
Hold it! Carlos objected. Who said you could bring your boyfriend?
Eww! He's not my boyfriend!
Oh, come on, Carlos, let her have a playmate with her, Sandy said.
And he's not that either! Nothing could bring Nita down right now, she was like a fiveyearold at a birthday party. Still a cloud came over her face when she asked Ike: Will you mind terribly if I bring Randy?
He shook his head, and explained slowly:
Not if you keep him at a distance from me.
She caught on. Okay, I will! Not a problem!
Ike's eyes met Sandy's, and he paraphrased Nita's question.
Will you mind terribly if I bring myself?
She couldn't help but laughing and shook her head.
So, where should we go? she then asked Carlos. To the valley by the pond?
We could, he admitted, but we could also go to another place.
A smile spread over her face.
Another place? Maybe.
I saw a nice little meadow just south of town said mr. Hamilton and pierced a potato. It had little white flowers growing all over it. Very nice.
The entire Fernandez family suddenly looked ready to burst with laughter.
Why, I'm sure we would enjoy the company, said Carlos, who managed to keep his face somewhat serious.
This made Nita giggle helplessly. Mr. Hamilton looked surprised.
Was there something wrong with my suggestion?
That is the place for the old gallows, mrs. Fernandez explained. It isn't used anymore, but it's hardly the ideal place for a picnic.
It's haunted, Nita said.
Quite a few eyes turned to her, but she was unaffected. It is, she assured them. I slept there once, I should know.
Isn't it possible that you were dreaming? someone suggested.
Nita shrugged.
I don't think so. But even if I was, what's the difference?
You don't know the difference between dreams and reality? Lou asked.
Nita shook her head, somewhat irritated.
That's not a meaningful division, she said. Either ghosts are real or they're not. If they're real, which I happen to believe they are, it doesn't matter if I'm asleep or awake. If they're not real I imagined everything. Then I can agree it matters if I was asleep or not, because if I was awake one possible explanation would be that I'm crazy. But my condition of consciousness, or even my mental health, has nothing to do with the existance of ghosts.
Happy to have made her point, she returned to her meal. Everyone else seemed quite baffled.
Where did you learn to use words like 'condition of consciousness'? Carlos asked. Or even to argue like that?
She shrugged. It's true, isn't it? I'm right?
Of course you're right, he said. And I personally think you're crazy. On the other hand, I also think Aleja is crazy. I even have a strong suspicion that I'm crazy myself. What do you think? he asked Lou.
I definitely think you're crazy, she answered. And I think we should get started with that picnic.