Disclaimer : I don't own them, no... thanks Sunrise
Pairing : 2+5; 1+R, 3+4, 6+9 mentioned
Category : Sap, Wufei POV, a bit of OOC
Rate : PG-13
Warning : Shounen ai
Timeline : AC 197 (one year after Endless Waltz)
Note : Sequel to " Silent Night, Holy Night "
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-Soundless Confession-
By Kai
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Today was Christmas Eve. The people on Earth and in the Colonies celebrated this
important day of Christian tradition, especially this year, since this is the
first Christmas without war. I still remember; this day last year I was in
Nataku. I raised my sword against my friends, against my comrades and against
the world. Days and nights passed as quickly as water flowed, it's stealth the
memories I wish I could forget, but days and nights also cruelly brought them
back to me. I made a mistake and I couldn't erase it from my mind so easily.
Later, even my friends and ex-enemies like Zechs Merquise and Lady Une treated
me like that incident never happened, but it still left the scar, a deep one. In
return for accepting me for who I was regardless of what I did, I devoted my
life to serve the people; joining the Preventers.
Yes, I know I should stop thinking like this and let it go. Maxwell always said
so.
I was in the jet. The mission had finished beforehand; there nothing left to do
now and I went home. From the tiny window beside me I could only see the empty,
dark sky... so vast, so boundless. I let my mind wonder before the attentive
flight attendant informed me that we would land in 10 minutes.
After landing, Une sent a driver to escort me home but instead of accepting her kindness, I decided to take a walk for a while. I walked along the length of snowy shopping streets, people hand-in-hand lazily passed me by. I heard the children yelling 'Merry Christmas!' and ran after each others. I found these noises of happiness less annoying to me than it was in the old days. Maybe I've become more social?
Looking around, the street was filled with the green leaves and red ribbons, decorating the entire street. Yes, this was Christmas Eve, but it was just an ordinary day for me since I'm not a Christian. The only one effect I got from this day was another day off, technically.
Later, I noticed that nobody walked alone except me, it didn't surprise me much. Everybody had their date for such an important day; their families, their relatives or their lovers... I thought about Yuy and Miss Dorlian, Barton and Winner, even Marquise and Noin, what were they doing? What about Maxwell? What was he doing? I shook my head. Judging from his out-going character he might be on some dance floor or in someone's embrace...
It didn't matter.
I must admit that I didn't want to be home right now. I could picture our home without him... so dark and quiet; the image of him smiling and waving at me slowly faded to nothing... I didn't want to be there. My footsteps were slower since I didn't know where to go anymore, and finally, it stopped... I held my head up to the sky, the snow falling slowly but continuously. I felt the coldness but it didn't come from anywhere but inside my heart.
Maxwell… what did you do to me? You're messing with my head, did you know that? ... your charming smile and those laughing lips.
I sighed and shook my head mindlessly, trying to wipe away this aching feeling.
Like it or not, I arrived at the front door. I never felt as bad as I did standing here like today. This was going to be long night. I made a mental note that Maxwell might have forgotten to turn off the lights in the living room, but it looked more like the fire from fireplace. I shrugged and inserted the key, twisted the doorknob open.
I walked passed the living room but its door was slightly open and the orange light of fire escaped from the darkness. I saw him through the narrow space; he was sitting on the sofa, snuggled in the quilt that I bought a week ago.
He was home.
'...?'
I questioned myself ... I ... I thought he wasn't here. Why should I feel content to see him? My heart beat faster than I had ever felt before... Maxwell.
Anyway, why didn't he turn on the light? I was about to call him but I heard him say something... (*)
...
Was he... talking about me? I was stunned; my hands went cold when I heard him say he was worried about me. Should I listen to this? I lowered my eyes, ashamed of my actions; standing here and sharing his hidden side that I never saw before. But ... I bit my lower lip, I wanted to know how he felt toward me, I always wanted to know...
He was whispering something... Maxwell... those words, did you mean it? ... Did you love me?
...
I thought my heart must have stopped for several seconds, but it was aching with the strange passion that ran through my body. What was this? Is this what they call 'love'?
I shut the door as quietly as I can. I don't know what to do in this situation, but one thing for sure; my chest was throbbing... hard. I slid down the solid wall behind me, all I could do right now was sit there.
He loved me.
...
He loved me.
...
I wasn't sure how long that I sat there. Maybe I was too afraid to get up, or maybe I wanted to tell him how I felt too. How I felt? Did I love him too? I drew my knees up to my chest, knowing he was just beyond this wall and thinking about me was too much. Was I worthy of his love? After all the things I've done? ... I wanted to forget it; please God... let me forget it.
I rested my head against the wall and reminded myself; I must forget it.
I faced the wooden door and made up my mind. I never knew before that knocking on a door was this hard. There was no response after knocking.
...
Minutes passed and I just realized that I held my breath. I didn't want to wait anymore so I just opened it.
He was there, sleeping under the thick quilt. His frame was so fragile compared to the largeness of the blanket, his braid was lying along his back... he looked like an angel.
I wasn't sure if I should wake him or not but somehow I reached out my hand to touch his slim shoulder. I sighed, I felt half relive to know that he might not wake up until tomorrow morning but sleeping here wasn't good. I decided to flip him into my arms.
I just wanted to carry him to his room but when his head rested against my shoulder, I couldn't help but admire him. I noticed the dried track of tears on his face, so I wiped it off gently. If he cries for me, I swear that this would be the last time.
I nestled him closer and tried to lift him up but seemed like he wouldn't want to let go of the quilt so I wrapped it to him tighter, he was lighter than I expected.
I managed to get him on the bed, unbraided his hair so it wouldn't hurt his head when he woke up. His hair was truly beautiful, it flowing along my touch. I knelt beside his bed and placed my hand on his forehead... God, how I wanted to see him smile. I sighed in content and pressed the light kiss to the back of his hand as if I wanted him to wake up and welcome me home. I rose up from my sitting position and lowered my lips to his ear, tracing the words of love that only me in this world could hear...
fin~
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(*) it's in 'Silent Night, Holy Night' please read it first ^^'
Kai: Thanks for all the review on 'Silent Night, Holy Night' !! You warmed my heart!! ~^_^~ SpecialThanks!! : Kimberly, AKGaston, Tasuki_no_Baka, Sparky, Rei Eien, Garnet Fire, Fela, Dark Moon and Bronze Tigress who pointed out that I should write a Sequel and especially AKGaston for the idea of Wufei's thoughts on the way home ~^_^~
Feedback: yes, YES, Please... (*^_^*)