Chapter 12: Sisters and Lovers

With some hesitation, the doctor had let Nita out of his sight, and as soon as he did, she knew where she was heading. The temporary need of crutches couldn't stop her.
Lou caught her on her way across the yard. She watched the younger girl's eagerness with some surprise before running up to her.
Hey, how are you feeling? she asked.
Nita stopped for a second to wait for Lou.
, she said. It doesn't even hurt anymore. If I'm lucky I'll be rid of these things by the end of the month.
You'll enjoy that, won't you? Lou said. Her jaunty tone made Nita glare at her.
I'm not four years old, you know, she said.
Lou realised how she had sounded and blushed.
I'm sorry. Sometimes I almost think you are. But other times I don't. She felt a sudden need to be honest. That's really creepy, you know that?
People tend to think that, Nita said laughing.
They came to a small shed by the main house. Lou hurried to open the door to let Nita in. She sensed a smell of wet clay, and looking around she saw a potter's wheel and some half-done work covered with wet cloths.
What's this? she asked.
It's the workshop, Nita answered. This is where all the statuettes were made.
She took a lump of wet clay and with some difficulty she managed to get it onto the wheel. Then she sat down by it, letting the crutches fall to the ground. She kicked the wheel with her healthy leg to make it spin, and her experienced hands formed the lump.
What are you doing? Lou asked.
A portrait.
Of me?
Nita laughed and shook her head.
Afraid not. Would you want me to?
Lou was a little embarrassed. The look in the other girl's eyes made her suddenly seem older than herself. I wouldn't mind.
Nita nodded.
I'll do it later then. Maybe a mini-Lou to put in your pocket. I promise I'll have something done before you return to Rock Creek. But right now I'm busy with this.
Lou agreed to the deal, but couldn't help saying:
Why don't you act more your age?
What's my age? Nita asked, eyes occupied with her work.
I don't know Boys, for one thing.
Oh, boys! Nita laughed. There's always Ramón. And Randy, of course. I read a fairy-tale once where a dog turned into a prince when you cut his head off. Maybe I should try that. Her eyes glittered.
The clay had now turned into something resembling a human head, and Nita stopped the wheel. While she began modelling the features of the portrait, she continued the conversation:
I'm not all that interested in boys. There's so many other things going on. It's like the world is feeding my senses all the time, and I have to try and capture it all. Most people see, hear and feel very little. And consequently they know very little. They don't even know if other people are happy or sad, and they think it's strange that I do, especially if I can't tell them why. But it's really no stranger than reading a phrase in a book and then remember it even though you can't remember the name of the book or what it was about. That has happened to you too, hasn't it?
Lou admitted that it had.
I never said you were strange. You're just not like other kids of fourteen.
Well, who is? Nita said grinning, shaping eyebrows in the clay. Can you hand me that needle?
Lou did, and Nita worked silently for a minute.
Did you know, she suddenly said, that in some countries they believe that you live over and over again. So maybe I have had many lives and am thousands of years old, but on the other hand, I could be brand new.
No, I didn't know, Lou said. It was an interesting thought. Do you believe it?
It makes sense. But then, why would I see the dead?
Lou almost felt ashamed to ask:
Do you really see the dead?
Nita nodded. She seemed very matter-of-fact about it.
And you asked for Vallejo to be buried so he wouldn't haunt you.
It wasn't so much the burial ground that mattered, Nita answered. After all, people are buried in all sorts of strange places without anyone praying for them, and they're usually fine with it. It's just a body. But it felt better to forgive him, that's all. I never saw him, so I don't think he'd haunt me in the original sense of the word.
She inspected what she had accomplished and grimaced at the sight.
she muttered. I can't get it right.
Lou moved over and watched the early attempts to feature a child's face.
Who is she? she asked.
Nita shook her head.
I don't know for sure, she said. I've been dreaming about her since I was little, but never saw her face clearly. Now, when I had a fever, I saw it, and I want to make it before I forget it.
There was something vaguely familiar about the girl, Lou thought. Something about the shape of the face and the eyes.
The door opened, and Carlos entered.
I figured I'd find you ladies here, he said. Mother said to tell you that supper will be done in about ten minutes. You might want to consider washing your hands, he added.
I will, Nita said absent-mindedly. Carlos, come over here. Is this who I think it is?
He walked up to the wheel, and as his eyes fell on the sculpture, a melancholic smile lit up his face.
It's Pepita, he said.
Nita looked pleased by the information.
Then I do remember her after all.
Who's Pepita? Lou asked.
My big sister who was killed, Nita answered.

Carlos guessed what she was thinking.
She wasn't murdered or anything, he said. She was killed by a raging bull when she was six. We were out the whole family and both the little ones chose to pick flowers in the wrong place. Pepita helped Nita here to climb a tree, but before she had the time to follow, she was run through. His face hardened at the memory. By the time we got the bull out of the way so we could get to her, she was already dead.
Lou stared at Nita as something dawned to her.
So that's why you're afraid of cattle, she said.
Nita shrugged.
I guess. I was only three, I don't remember anything about it. I didn't even think I remembered Pepita. It feels good to know that I do. After all, she saved my life.

If Sandy had thought that telling Ike the truth would spoil their relationship, she couldn't have been more wrong. Knowing what had happened to her made it easier for him to understand her mood swings, and she found that the honesty felt comfortable, that she could act more natural when she had nothing to hide.
Ike knew by now that what he had with Sandy was more than just a crush or a fling, it was very close to love. At supper this night, when he silently watched her every movement, he realised something else, something much more troublesome. He was ready for the next step. What was he supposed to do about that? He couldn't ask her to sleep with him, that was out of the question. The only experience she had from sex had been with an abusive boyfriend who practically raped her. She would never want to do anything like that again.
But some part of his mind reminded him that this was exactly what Carlos had been talking of. She had to be able to get past her fear if she were ever to live like other women. That was probably true, but dear Jesus, when he looked at her like this and his mind and body were filled with her presense, how could he trust himself to treat her right, to not hurt her again?
Their eyes met over the table, and when she noticed his concerned look, she discreetly stuck her tongue out at him, screwing her eyes up to a murderous look. He realised that he was being unfair to her. As frail as she might be in some ways, she had never been afraid to tell him when he crossed the line.
It wasn't until they left the table and she seemingly by accident brushed against his arm and gave him a glance that he knew that mixed with her fear there were not only feelings of love, but of lust. Lust possibly as strong as his own. He tried not to see Buck's warning expression and followed her as she walked down the hall to her own room.
Oh, you want to come in? she said innocently, with her hand on the doorknob.
He raised his eyebrows. If you don't mind?
Now, why would I mind? Her voice still kept that phony, teasing innocence, but when they entered the room she couldn't help burshing into laughter.
You're a little witch after all, you know he signed to her.
Yes I am. And I have enchanted you so that you will be my slave forever, she joked. She put her arms around him and said: I'm sorry that I'm upsetting Buck's sense of right and wrong. He's such a nice guy. I don't know what he think's we're doing.
Ike signed: Maybe something like this? before he leant forward to kiss her.
She returned his kiss, and then her lips searched their way down to his neck. His hands lovingly caressed her body, and without even thinking he started to take off her blouse. The immediate change in her every muscle repelled him, as if he had been burnt.
It's okay, go on, she whispered, and with shivering hands she unbuttoned his shirt. He took a few steps backwards.
I don't want to do something that makes you uncomfortable.
It'll pass. I want you to do it.
He shook his head.
Do it, damn it! her voice was harsh, and he shook his head again.
You're scared.
Well, of course I'm scared, you goddamned idiot! She turned away from him, and then turned back. I'm sorry. I'm just so confused right now.
He moved her slowly closer to him and kissed her. Then he gently took off her blouse, kissing every inch of flesh that became visible. He could feel her relaxing under his lips. She kissed his chest and the pit between his collarbones where the pulse was throbbing wildly. Her lips were dry, but he sensed no fear in her. He didn't know how long they were kissing like this, exploring each other, but by the time they moved to the bed, she seemed to find nothing strange about the arrangement. Not until he leant over her, when her body suddenly stiffened again. He quickly moved away and his eyes asked her what was wrong.
I'm sorry, she mumbled, embarrassed to admit her fears. I feel trapped when you do that.
He nodded his consent, and she assured him:
No, I'm okay, really. Just go on. I want to go through with this.
Instead of getting back, he laid down by her side and caressed her leg, calming her down. Her willingness to do what was obviously frightening to her moved him, but he wanted this to be as pleasant as possible for her. After a moment of thought, he gently tilted her so that her body was leaning towards his, her shoulders against his chest. He put his arm around her and his legs close to hers, and she relaxed by the touch. She leant her head backwards and sighed with delight, enjoying the soft warmth of his skin as much as he enjoyed hers.
Comfortable? he signed.
She nodded. His hand was so perfect that she took it to kiss it, holding his arm against her chest with both her own hands. He let her hold it like that for a while and then slowly drew it back. She willingly moved in the direction he suggested and spread her legs a little when his hand showed the way. Overwhelmed by his touch, she closed her eyes.
The very next moment they were wide open again. A tiny moan escaped her lips.
she whispered.
When they were finished, she lay quietly looking straight ahead. After a while he started to wonder if something was wrong, and he moved so he could see her face. He was relieved to find she was smiling. Her eyes met his.
, she said. She sounded like a little girl at a carneval. The association was confirmed when she asked: Can we do that again?
He grinned at her eagerness.
In a little while. Touching her blushed cheeks, he added: You're definitely not frigid.
Well, I had no idea it could be like this.
The remark made him childishly pleased with himself, and he teased her:
So you think I'm a good lover?
The answer was a huge explosion of laughter. She laughed so much she could barely breathe, and finally she panted:
Ike, you're priceless, do you know that? She still giggled to herself. I would have to guess on this one, but I think you are. I certainly enjoyed it anyway, and I'm not just talking about getting out of it without any bruises.
He felt a little embarrassed at her amusement, but still happy that she was happy.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I did, too.
So, do you want to do it again?
Soon. He suddenly realised that she didn't know very much about these things and explained: I can't do it right away.
She lay quiet for a minute, thinking. Ike, I don't want to sound ignorant, but well, I didn't see your face. Is there some way we can do this so I can see your face and still be able to move?
He smiled. Many ways.
For example?
You can be on top.
She opened her mouth in surprise. Then she gave a startled laughter and quickly jumped up to sitting on his stomach.
Surrender, soldier, she said, and show me how it's done.